|
wrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy


Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 48 minutes, 47 seconds
|
im scared of change
#5360637 - 03/03/06 04:25 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
yet i need it badly.
ill talk, and ill talk, and ill talk.....about all the things i need to do differently, and about all the things in my life that need change. but when it comes time to act i fold and run, tail firmly tucked between my legs. then beat myself up over it for a while, and the cycle continues. the ruts so deep i cant even see the trees anymore.
then i will have one of those "life changing experiences" we read about all the time on here. or at least thats what i tell myself when i come down. maybe thats what i want to believe. truth is its all back to normal with in a week.
whats really driving me nuts is that its not like i dont know what to do. i know exactly what i need to do, but for some reason im just too much of a pussy to do it. i dont know what im talking about. im just high and depressed, and thinking too much.
but ya, in a nutshell
-------------------- how's your WOW?
Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM)
|
fresh313
journeyman


Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 2,537
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: wrestler_az]
#5360669 - 03/03/06 05:01 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
i dont think your scared of it, i just dont think you have the motivation to change. i mean whats the point in changing when u dont have a real reason to change, a driving force. u got a driving force man? make a plan, change is a process, slow and steady, frustration is part of the game, just dont dwell on it. take steps every day in the direction u want to go. write down your dream, go for it, why not right ? what the fuck else is there to do for the rest of our lives ?
|
ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween


Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 9 hours
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: fresh313]
#5360878 - 03/03/06 08:06 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
change is scary...
you sound pretty concerned about it, maybe work out a basic plan that you can work on. write what you would like to do down, all the small stuff right up to what ever your main goal is. once you start working on it remember to relax man, don't be too hard on your self and keep on enjoying things.
that is all i got
--------------------
|
leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
|
|
I have similar problems.
They create a rich portrait of self-defeatism. and have created a sort of SCHISM in me...............
For example........... I get the feeling that I should exercise,but since I didn't exercise for a long period of time I was like.. no that's stupid why do you want to ? Being lazy is fine.
So then this creates 3/4 of me that is lazy but 1/4 that wants to exercise, which causes some grief.
Or ..... sex.......... right I want to have sex..... but since I'm not having it, why really really try so hard? It's evil. Sex is evil and I don't need to have it.
But I still want to have it. So now I have 3/4 of me that doesn't want to have it [which has even created problems in trying to take matters into my own hand pretty much crippled my sexual attraction to anything] but then 1/4 of me that really wants to have it, which causes TREMENDOUS pain in me.
So basically I just set myself up to second guess (note why I said schism?) all my intentions and desires so that I'm not exactly who I don't want to be, but I'm a far cry from who I want to be.
I think drugs may make matters worse..... I'd probably be a better individual if instead of drugs I just meditated all the time and learned to trip the natural way.
and that's another thing.... I don't want to do drugs. But I do want to do them, really bad. This creates much confusion.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (03/03/06 09:24 AM)
|
XUL
OTD Janitor


Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: wrestler_az]
#5361744 - 03/03/06 02:23 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
to change, I dont know how you mean, but you have to make yourself do it somehow. I mean.. I left my computer at home so I could do better in school. It was hard, but I just forced myself to leave it. Thats a little different probly than what you mean, but I dont know what you mean, so I cant really tell you any good advice.
Change. If you want to change, then live your life in your changed way, and every so often reward yourself. First reward yourself after a day, then after every other day, then after a week, moth, year, then maybe by then you will be used to the change and wont need rewards to keep you motivated.
--------------------
TRUMP 2020
|
HtownCattleranch
Herper


Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 100
Loc: N. Houston
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: XUL]
#5362279 - 03/03/06 05:01 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
As humans we adapt to pretty much any situation over time. We get in the habit of doing things a certain way including not committing to something or on the opposite side people who are anal retentive and they cannot relax till very loose end is taken care of. Most of us fall in the middle some were. It sounds a though you want to commit to something and sometimes it takes a great effort to follow through but it can be done. You are in control of your life and were it goes. You don't have to change everything at once just choose one thing you have been thinking of changing and with all your effort follow through till' the end. Once you have done this once you will be aware that you can change anything in your life. Like was said by another above one step at a time. You will learn that if you want to it can or will be done and when new situations arrive you won't leave the back door open to failure and your whole outlook will change for the better. Don't be content with failure and take pride, move forward.
-------------------- JUST BANG IT OUT!
|
dblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: leery11]
#5362419 - 03/03/06 05:46 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Sounds like a whole lot of cognitive dissonance. You should decide on a life philosophy and take all of your actions based on it. There's no point in suffering through ambivalence like you describe.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
|
dblaney
Human Being

Registered: 10/03/04
Posts: 7,894
Loc: Here & Now
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: wrestler_az]
#5362429 - 03/03/06 05:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
When the urge to do something becomes strong enough, you will do it. In the meantime, please stop questioning yourself and beating yourself up over what you could or should do, it will only hurt you.
Sometimes when I get in similar situations, I find it helpful to make a list (either on paper or a mental list) of the pros and cons of each possibility, and then use that to make a decision, and just force myself to act.
Ask yourself what you want to accomplish in anything, in life, and then act accordingly.
-------------------- "What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?" "Belief is a beautiful armor But makes for the heaviest sword" - John Mayer Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin. "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln
|
daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 20 hours
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: wrestler_az]
#5363834 - 03/04/06 07:28 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Maybe you need someone to punch you a couple times?
--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
|
eligal
Noobie


Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: wrestler_az]
#5365749 - 03/04/06 08:41 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
change can only came when you really want it.
-------------------- \m/ Spanksta \m/ "do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?" "MolokoMilkPlus said: I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job" "tactik said: respect the can."
|
CerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: wrestler_az]
#5371240 - 03/06/06 03:21 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Well, a week later you let yourself change back to the former self. If you continually CONSIDER BOTH OPTIONS than you will keep thinking clearly
-------------------- God says dance with your heart And shake free of you desire Where theres a will theres always a way When you get confused listen to the music play
|
Silverwolf
sandtrout


Registered: 09/06/03
Posts: 1,108
Loc: Darkover
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: XUL]
#5371446 - 03/06/06 04:17 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
XUL said: to change, I dont know how you mean, but you have to make yourself do it somehow. I mean.. I left my computer at home so I could do better in school. It was hard, but I just forced myself to leave it. Thats a little different probably than what you mean, but I dont know what you mean, so I cant really tell you any good advice.
Change. If you want to change, then live your life in your changed way, and every so often reward yourself. First reward yourself after a day, then after every other day, then after a week, moth, year, then maybe by then you will be used to the change and wont need rewards to keep you motivated.
Drug use should take you somewhere. One of the reasons I very very rarely use any form of pharmaceutical is because they remove me from the forces of nature and it is these very forces with which we connect when we "avail ourselves of a substance" (T.Mckenna). Plants and fungi are "nature's tools" and should be respected as such. Talk about that at parties and you'll turn some people off, even some you want as friends, but the friends you do make will almost certainly be the ones you need.
-------------------- "Odrade read the word silently and then aloud. "Arafel." She knew this word.Reverend Mothers of the tyrants time had impressed it into the Bene Gesserit consciousness,tracing it's roots to the most ancient sources. "Arafel:the cloud darkness at the end of the universe.""
Edited by Silverwolf (03/06/06 04:18 PM)
|
CerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
|
Re: im scared of change [Re: Silverwolf]
#5373409 - 03/07/06 07:12 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
i mean, drugs are a catalyst for change, a chemical change, but you have to incorporate your thoughts together yourself, you have to think out the change yourself, drugs only offer a tool and a temporary repreieve, the change must lie within
-------------------- God says dance with your heart And shake free of you desire Where theres a will theres always a way When you get confused listen to the music play
|
|