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OfflineMisterMyco
Myco-fanatic
Male

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 636
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin
    #5276173 - 02/08/06 02:32 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Allright, after all these posts here by guys who have zero game, I gotta show ya how it's done. 

A bartender at my favorite bar is a huge flirt, we've hung out and smoked up (I buy weed from her, even).  She and I like classical things (photography, art, old good Sinatra-like music, cooking, etc), but shes never really made any sexual moves or suggestions, other than some nice flirting,but that seems to be her personality.

So first, I go to where she works.  I'm dressed in a Tommy Hilfiger Cordoroy jacket, a golf shirt, a gold watch (I'm not gonna brag and say what type, lets just say that diamonds were present), ralph lauren dress pants and Gucci loafers.  Do I look like a stone cold pimp? Yea, I do.  So I go up to her and hug her and tell her how beautiful she is, my typical greeting, but I hug her a bit longer than usual, just holding her close, with my arms on her hips/waist. 

I order my usual (top shelf long island and an irish carbomb) and notice that a few of her friends are there at the bar too, all girls.  Now, some guys woudl see this as a problem, but I see it as backup.  In a crowd of 5 or 6 reasonably hot girls, I could probably bang at LEAST two.  I figure the best way to show her how cool I am is to get along great with her friends.  So it's a round or five of drinks for all of us on my tab.  Then the chef comes out, whos a good friend of mine from culinary school (by that I mean I dropped out and sold him pot).  I order a special linguini and white clam sauce and asked him to make some extra so that I could have some later.  The bartender chick heard me saying that and said she wanted some, I told her thats why I got some to go.  I said it right on cue, without hesistaing and with making eye contact, just a little smile so it seemed funny, but the contact was there so she knew it was sincere.

After drinking countless drinks, the bar starts to close down.  Her friends all leave, after hugging me and inviting me out with them [just as a pimpin' sideline, to "make sure that you can reach us!", three of the girls gave me their numbers... pimpin is as pimpin be)

So, shes closing up and I've got my white wine clam sauce.  she said that she didn't really wanna hang out with her friends, that she just wants to relax.  I'm a certified masseuse, something we talk about a LOT, and I offer, jokingly, a massage (again, a common occurance in our flirtations), and she laughs and says that would be great.  I didn't want to press it and invite her over for that, because it's a bit too forward.  I ordered another drink (About number 12 for me, probably, good thing I ate about ten pounds of white clam sauce!)  She makes it and holds her fingers on the glass(a snifter, remy VSO inside), so I hold the glass and rub her fingers some while smiling at her (thats when I knew, really, it's like when the lion realizes that the weak antelope has no idea whats about to happen, but it's too late for the antelope to do anything about it anyway).

So we talk some more and I invite her back to my place.  Now, again, I'm not braggin here, but my place is cleaned up, with some interesting bullshit coffee books out (Oh gosh, about black and white photography! one of her big interests!)  And wouldn't ya know it, I had the coffee table with the bong and my glass pot tray on it in front of the TWO PERSON love seat, not my gigantic couch.  We get to my place and I play my "Italiano Piazza" playlist, which is basically my pussy-getting playlist.  Sinatra, armstrong, you know what I'm talkin about.  Two bottles of wine come out of my wine cellar thing (just the little mini-fridge) and we start puffin the dank out of my bubbler.  I heat up the white clam sauce and serve it with some organic grain penne pasta... delicious.  Oh, some bagette and seasoned olive oil was ready when we got there with the wine, and some brie and some gorganzola cheese... how'd I have THAT on hand I wonder... :wink:


SO FINALLY, it's after dinner, I've cleaned up and she says how her feet are sore.  It's time to re-suggest the massage, but as a foot massage.  She takes off her shoes and her cute little socks and lays back with her feet in my lap.  I get some tea tree oil and some lavander (as well as lighting some incense, nag champa) and start giving her a GREAT footrub.  I let a little drip of oil go from her feet up her legs some, and I slide my finger tips really gently up the bead of oil.  after about fifteen minutes of talking, making her laugh and massaging her feet, I  tell her that it's time to roll over so I can do her neck.  I massage her neck for a little bit, then we decide we need more wine (Just so you know, yes, I AM an alcoholic!!), I get up to grab some and when I turn around, shes there with her arms ready to wrap around me and a nice warm wet kiss.  About 20 seconds of great kissing later, we stop, laugh, and I kiss her on the lips.  Back to the living room.  I've had the lights dimmed the whole time with a few candles on the table for direct light.  I light two more candles, put in requiem for a dream (I think, some movie) and turn the lights off. 


I lay down on my large couch and she cuddles up in front of me.  I grab my warm blanket and put it over us, after about 15 seconds of the movie she rolls over and we start making out.

The rest,a gentleman never tells.





But i fucked her...




and shes asleep in my bed right now...





and we have plans for this weekend....





so, if you do that, you should get some quality hot ass.


--------------------
"I have never, in all my life, not for one moment, been tempted toward religion of any kind. The fact is that I feel no spiritual void. I have my philosophy of life, which does not include any aspect of the supernatural."
Isaac Asimov

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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet Flag
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: MisterMyco]
    #5276178 - 02/08/06 02:36 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Where's my video. :wink:


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.

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OfflineMisterMyco
Myco-fanatic
Male

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 636
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #5276179 - 02/08/06 02:37 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Why aren't ya on!


--------------------
"I have never, in all my life, not for one moment, been tempted toward religion of any kind. The fact is that I feel no spiritual void. I have my philosophy of life, which does not include any aspect of the supernatural."
Isaac Asimov

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Invisible40oz
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 30,119
Loc: Sandy Eggo. Ca.
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: MisterMyco]
    #5276181 - 02/08/06 02:39 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

thats too much goddamn work.

aint gotta go all out for some quality pussy.

but a pimp runs his own game.

/tips hat. :wink:


--------------------
:pacman: - - - -  :pill: :mushroom2: :pill2: :mushroom2: :regularshroom: :mushroomgrow: :pill: :pill2: :mushroom2: :poison:

:sun::heart::sun:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
"your avatar is dirty."

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OfflineMisterMyco
Myco-fanatic
Male

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 636
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: 40oz]
    #5276183 - 02/08/06 02:42 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

tru dat tru dat, my pimp-way ain't the only way


--------------------
"I have never, in all my life, not for one moment, been tempted toward religion of any kind. The fact is that I feel no spiritual void. I have my philosophy of life, which does not include any aspect of the supernatural."
Isaac Asimov

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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: MisterMyco]
    #5276204 - 02/08/06 03:01 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

i dunno man... that is not my style... just the clothes alone would make me feel like i'm not myself...
the best thing to do is to just be yourself... and be confident... works like a charm... one thing i definitely agree with you, though is the friends thing... female friends of someone i'm interested are always backup...

but as 40 said... to each his own...


--------------------

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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: In(di)go]
    #5276264 - 02/08/06 03:58 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

did he jsut say he put in "requiem of a dream"?? what kinda movie is that for sexin?!?!


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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OfflineMisterMyco
Myco-fanatic
Male

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 636
Last seen: 18 years, 1 month
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: eligal]
    #5276276 - 02/08/06 04:08 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Shes never seen it.... we watched about the first ten seconds before we started a humpin


--------------------
"I have never, in all my life, not for one moment, been tempted toward religion of any kind. The fact is that I feel no spiritual void. I have my philosophy of life, which does not include any aspect of the supernatural."
Isaac Asimov

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OfflineGinseng1
Elegant Universe
 User Gallery

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 3,310
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: MisterMyco]
    #5276403 - 02/08/06 07:08 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

damn homes u must have been wasted.


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...

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OfflineNewbieS
User of semicolons.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,715
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 22 hours, 17 minutes
Re: How a tru' pimp be opa'ratin [Re: MisterMyco]
    #5277451 - 02/08/06 12:53 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:



The rest,a gentleman never tells.





But i fucked her...




and shes asleep in my bed right now...





and we have plans for this weekend....





so, if you do that, you should get some quality hot ass.




Hahaha that's awesome.  I know the feeling  :stoned:

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