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Im Scared
    #4786059 -

It has been a LONG time since i have posted on these boards, and just as long since i have visited *ashamed*. But with all that aside, i have chosen to post in this board for lack of a better place, and the fact that the thoughts that i have been having are reminiscent to ones that i haven't have for near a year, and they have always scared me. and due to there philosophical roots.

I'm tired, I'm sore, and I'm scared. I have these fears of what will be. I'm a suicidal, bi-polar, 20 year old kid who is so fucking fed up with the world because it has its head shove so far up everyones ass, that no one knows what way is up. I'm tired. I want to make a change in the world, but I'm scared. I can talk to a person and know that they know what is right and wrong, and that their core beliefs are the same as mine. But to talk to a group, all they speak of is "the powers that confine us" or " them". Fuck "them". Why is it that a country that was set up "by the people" is confined by "them"? When everyone (and i use the term "everyone" loosely) knows what the hell is going on.

I was once told that in order to prevent your self from going insane, you must focus your energy on your own niche. A sound idea, but flawed. In that what is to prevent a person from forming their niche in a way that simply creates and breeds greed. Never assists anyone but those contained within.

Bah I'm going off on a tangent, i think my real point is that, I'm too scared to stand up because I'm afraid of failure. Afraid that people just don't care anymore. That we want the world to burn, since, thats where we are heading, and we are barely slowing it. Every single human being on this planet knows what is fundamentally right and wrong, why is it so hard to act on it?

I'm tired of crying for the world. I don't want anyone to die for a few to realize something is wrong. But honestly, is there anything less that will shake people enough to think twice and NOT let it pass in a few years?

I'm tired of crying for myself. My only reason for continued existence on this planet is my family. My knowledge that if i stay here, they will be happy. They will never know my pain, because it keeps them happy.

Ignorance is bliss i guess, and i guess that only those who look ahead, beyond the next toy they can get, are the ones who suffer.

I weep for the world, for its going to kill me.


--------------------

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. Im not too sure about the former.      -Einstein

Of course the rules need to be enforced, but the goal of law and order should be to create a just society, not to enforce laws. -Unknown

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”  -Stephen Roberts

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Re: Im Scared [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
    #4786211 -

I know what ya mean, I try to walk with open eyes and an open heart, would be a shame to miss out on something great.

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Re: Im Scared [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
    #4786216 -

The world wants you as a tool to make the toys you speak of. Go fish for a living in the pacific or something, just dont be scared, AND HONESTLY, STOP BITCHING. Im bi-polar and cant stand it, but who made up that complex defonition of a typical human tendancy.
Did syd write those lyrics, I would have thought so......
If your serious, which you seem to be,..... greed, and the niches that supply such things with fire and passion are real. Its what makes the collective human niche go round within the world. Youre selfish, admit that, and your set. Your selfish cause your scared if not for many other reasons. So make your fucking less-pathetic mark.
THE RAIN FEEL SLOW, DOWN ON THE ROOTS OF UNCEARTAINTY.
Someone though of you, I guarentee it.
In reality there is no niche, and it is all fabricated and made to be normal/successful and to drive the national/global economy. We are apes with computers and cloths and jobs. Dont be sad about that, take charge of becomeing part of it or seperating yourself from it entirely.
Bi polar disorder is not fun and is very real under certain circumstances, but only you have the power to nip it in the ass.
Dont let the world kill you, become a monster and hate yourself for it, confront death if not to be simply defying those who make you feel so confined as they are not feeling as confined as you. You can do this or comforitably walk out of the mire unscathed by killing off ideas all around you. Either way, someone cares but at the same time they are praying you get your shit together and join the rat-race.

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Re: Im Scared [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
    #4786256 -

Are you scared of dying?

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Re: Im Scared [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
    #4786361 -

You should assume responsibility for yourself and quit being the victim. A victim sees persecution...a warrior sees only opportunity.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Im Scared [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
    #4786731 -

"If you can't beat em`, join em`"  :gayflag:


--------------------
Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"

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Re: Im Scared [Re: Mushie_Man]
    #4787228 -

dare to be afraid.. :P


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Disclaimer!?

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Re: Im Scared [Re: Gomp]
    #4787390 -

I agree with you! the world is going pretty fucked right now... All thinking we're gods or gangsters whatever you wanna call them... Lost a lot of friends with that... Fuckers that think they are better then anyone...

We tend to shut ourselves up for everything that's new... Try and live the lives we live right now... Aren't open for new drugs/drinks/actions/hobbies/sexual-adventures/whatever...

We must open our eyes and see that the world is going to shit and change it! We will destroy ourselves if we go on like this! I really made up my mind that if in like a year or 5 this shit is still going I'll kill myself... I hate the way we live! The way we talk! The way we greet! The way we walk! The way we interact with eachother!

The way we're developing into close-minded/robot-controlled human beings...

Listen:
WE ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF LIFE THAT WALKS OVER THIS PLANET!

Don't tell me otherwise! All we got or guns and knives... We think we rule everyone and everything cause we got those... Stuff that's designed to kill others instead of using our own tools! We should find our place into the food chain again... taking a few steps back and stand somewhere in the middle... I don't care when a shark or a croc attacks a human... It's nature deal with it!

We need to tough'n up... Stop being the weak humans we're right now! Stop being weak and start getting hard! When someone dies stop crying! It's nature so stop crying and being a bitch!


That's my opinion! Tough'n up and stop crying...


--------------------
"This combines the good sides of every other drug with none of the bad. This is the ultimate luxury, the flawless wisdom-pleasure hit. More mellow and cozy than heroin, but you don't nod out. I feel more alive and wired and energetic than with speed, but not jangly. Its got the blast of cocaine, but it lasted ten times longer."

"Going to the grave without ever having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. That means you will die before even becoming an adolescent." -Terence Mckenna

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Re: Im Scared [Re: ThirdEyeOpening]
    #4787779 -

Just work on yourself, and in this moment it appears that working on the stabilization of your mood should be your first priority. Your mood, the whole tenor of your post requires stabilization (not 'flattened' affect, but some emotional 'disinterest' [vairagya] wouldn't hurt) before you can best select your niche. My niche is a direct manifestation of my personality (the inner) conjoined with a job opportunity (the outer) that appeared in nick of time! A synchronicity - a miracle of everyday life that results when one works on oneself. I know it is cyclical thinking, but there your have it!



--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: Im Scared [Re: Brakkie]
    #4787801 -

Im not afraid of death, im afraid of the pain in my wake. I guess ill start the revolution that so many of my freinds have spoken of. This tool just broke. Fuck them all.


--------------------

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. Im not too sure about the former.      -Einstein

Of course the rules need to be enforced, but the goal of law and order should be to create a just society, not to enforce laws. -Unknown

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”  -Stephen Roberts

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