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Offlinenonick
Stranger

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 537
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
companionship
    #4751111 - 10/03/05 09:37 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

hey guys,

how do you feel about companionship? is it something that you feel you need in your life?

here's how i look at it: as a male, the only biological need I have is to have orgasms. my body doesnt know if i am having them inside a girl, or as a product of a little porn and my own hand. there is no biological need to find a life mate. as is observed in most primate societies, the apes do not choose a life partner. (exception is orangutans, and maybe a couple others i dont know about)

but in any case, monogomy (life companionship) was first observed in humans in mesopotamia. basically, it developed out of necessity due to property rights disputes among the multiple female mates that males would impregnate. so for social cohesion, it was just easier for the males to choose one mate and stick with her. (no deaths from fights over inheretence rights. dont forget, in early civilization, each member of society is really important. without them, the rest may directly suffer a noticable amount)

i think the extremely high divorce rates observed in western society in the past half a century is a direct result of people "catching on" that it is not necessary to choose one person to spend the rest of your life with one person. for this reason, i expect to see divorce rates and single parent families continue to rise. i would also expect most of those single parent families to consist of a mother and child. this is because women have (i think) a biological need to have children. (you know, that whole, im 30 and i want to have a baby before it's too late type of thing)

so does it make sense to worry about finding a girl to marry? im not sure it is. yeah, there are girls in my life that i sweat, and think it would be cool to spend some time with...but after a while, i learn more about them, even without getting into relationships with them, and realize that it would only lead to strife in the long run, and that life seems easier if i just stick to myself.

so i ask to the older, single, shroomerites: do you feel as though you have missed out on some great thing by not having a life partner?

ive heard some older people say "man, it sucks to wake up in an empty bed at 50 years old" but i don't know if the people who say that are the type of people who really think about what they say.

what do you think?

-nonick


Edited by nonick (10/03/05 10:38 PM)


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: companionship [Re: nonick]
    #4751392 - 10/03/05 10:19 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Welcome to the shroomery, That's what I think. :thumbup:

I'm pushing 53. I've never married and that is one of the best decisions I have made in a life time of bungles.

I haven't had to work much.( rarely full time) I own my house. I am debt free. I have savings.

All the women who I thought I wanted to marry or who wanted to marry me turned out to be a bad joke. And I would love being alone compared to the misery of company not of my choosing. Which is just what happens. People stay stuck in relationships for lots of shity reasons that a sane person would have left long ago.

Todays women says she wants equality. Good, I love to give it to them. What I want is an equal who can take care of their life business and is willing to share responsibility. What I really want is love and friendship. I don't need anything else. I have that covered. And I want an open relationship, as difficult as that is. I want for each of us to fullfill our true desires rather that shut down part of ourselves because our "partner" can't handle who we really are and how we really feel.

Fortunately it looks like I have found that.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinenonick
Stranger

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 537
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: companionship [Re: Icelander]
    #4751519 - 10/03/05 10:49 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

thanks for the reassuring post icelander. it sounds like you have dont some positive things in your life, which is something that you should be proud of.

its great to hear that you can be honest with yourself and other people, and recognize that it is not worth comprimising your own values just to "be with someone".


-nonick


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: companionship [Re: nonick]
    #4751592 - 10/03/05 11:07 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

It's a real challenge. Most of society, friends and family will pressure you otherwise. Yet just look at what great lives they have and you will see that just maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Just ask yourself honestly. What do I really want. It isn't easy but with practice it can be done. Have fun. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinenonick
Stranger

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 537
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: companionship [Re: Icelander]
    #4751607 - 10/03/05 11:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

thanks for the words of encouragement, icelander.

i love the shroomery community :smile:


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/25/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
Re: companionship [Re: nonick]
    #4751722 - 10/03/05 11:43 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

i don't know, i think it's normal for us to seek life partners...

the problem running in my mind is this:
if i found an amazing girl, i think i know how to "open channels" to "soul share" to an extent that we could live a longass time together (perhaps not complete monogamy forever, but quite a while)

but how do i find one on the same "level" as me, willing to open up.... that would stay true to me, and be right for me?

If people are right for each other then marriage makes sense.... and then if you have kids, staying together makes sense. My family doesn't really have "bad marriages" or "bad relationships" except for both of my uncles.....

I don't know. I'm becoming asexual. I think... maybe i'll give my self some loving... and I can't even get it hard.......

I look at a girl exposing her body and I think...........
I think..... " "

nothing. I think nothing. I'm not horny. I guess that's okay, as hell... it's one less thing to pine away for.

I just worry that if I ever do find a chick that my semi-celibate mindframe will like.... make sexual issues............ difficult.

(i don't even think i want to get laid. maybe not unless i'm high and horny because of enhanced stimulation)


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 20,556
Re: companionship [Re: leery11]
    #4752965 - 10/04/05 05:40 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

born to this in 1951, I endured a canadian youth, worked, married, worked, became custodial of 2 daughters, remarried, will certainly die broke, always working with others as an indentured servant, paying taxes, and back taxes, and property taxes, I do seem to prefer some company and am willing to pay for that in my own blood as part of this world.

it may be part of the idea that god immerses in matter and forgets that he is lonely and that underlying lonely force drives people together with an elusive vision of living in a garden of harmony or oneness.

anyway the companionship itself is beyond description and independent of levels - since all beings are equal in the eyes of a child. we have to drop any pretense of levels for this companionship: finding eden as it is hiding everywhere is a lonely business and we are all doing it to some extent alone together.

if flesh sex food drink life and death are part of a wheel of life, glancing at the other is a direction to roll it.


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Offlinedaimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
Re: companionship [Re: nonick]
    #4753584 - 10/04/05 12:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I never encountered a single person that told me marriage was the way to go. Everyone I talked to told me SINGLE(Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday) was the way to be.

I get all the love I need from friends and family at dinner tables. The rest of the time I want to sit back, count my money, and just do my own thing.

At this point in my life I can only see myself getting married if it would be financially beneficial. Who knows what the future holds though.


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 20,556
Re: companionship [Re: daimyo]
    #4753762 - 10/04/05 12:49 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

when you live for yourself, you may find you are not living well for your self, and when you live with another you may find you live for yourself better.

anyway most people like others to do what they have chosen, in order to be more confident that what they had chosen is right. (i.e. if you do what I do that makes me more right) it is the essence and uncertainty of proselitism. it creates a companionship of a different kind political companionship.


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OfflineBlueCoyote
Beyond
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 5,836
Loc: Between
Last seen: 14 hours, 38 minutes
Re: companionship [Re: daimyo]
    #4753853 - 10/04/05 01:04 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Depends on sweet lady, of course.
As long as fate did not let me meet the fitting her, I stay alone, having affairs, which sometimes lead to friendships.
I keep my eyes open without searching. I don't want to miss her accidentally :smile:


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
........................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 20,556
Re: companionship [Re: BlueCoyote]
    #4753903 - 10/04/05 01:16 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

coyote and wolf look simmilar
smart as foxes too


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
waiting
Male

Registered: 02/01/05
Posts: 4,033
Loc: mountains and lakes
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: companionship [Re: nonick]
    #4754191 - 10/04/05 02:46 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

nonick said:
hey guys,

how do you feel about companionship? is it something that you feel you need in your life?

here's how i look at it: as a male, the only biological need I have is to have orgasms. my body doesnt know if i am having them inside a girl, or as a product of a little porn and my own hand. there is no biological need to find a life mate. as is observed in most primate societies, the apes do not choose a life partner. (exception is orangutans, and maybe a couple others i dont know about)

but in any case, monogomy (life companionship) was first observed in humans in mesopotamia. basically, it developed out of necessity due to property rights disputes among the multiple female mates that males would impregnate. so for social cohesion, it was just easier for the males to choose one mate and stick with her. (no deaths from fights over inheretence rights. dont forget, in early civilization, each member of society is really important. without them, the rest may directly suffer a noticable amount)

i think the extremely high divorce rates observed in western society in the past half a century is a direct result of people "catching on" that it is not necessary to choose one person to spend the rest of your life with one person. for this reason, i expect to see divorce rates and single parent families continue to rise. i would also expect most of those single parent families to consist of a mother and child. this is because women have (i think) a biological need to have children. (you know, that whole, im 30 and i want to have a baby before it's too late type of thing)

so does it make sense to worry about finding a girl to marry? im not sure it is. yeah, there are girls in my life that i sweat, and think it would be cool to spend some time with...but after a while, i learn more about them, even without getting into relationships with them, and realize that it would only lead to strife in the long run, and that life seems easier if i just stick to myself.

so i ask to the older, single, shroomerites: do you feel as though you have missed out on some great thing by not having a life partner?

ive heard some older people say "man, it sucks to wake up in an empty bed at 50 years old" but i don't know if the people who say that are the type of people who really think about what they say.

what do you think?

-nonick




I have decided not to marry or have children, but I don't know how consistant with that decision I'm going to be in the next 10-15 years. I might just make an ass of myself, but we'll see.

the reasons:

-I still have mixed feelings about humanity and am not sure if making children and contrubuting to its existance is a good thing or a bad thing for this planet.

-I want peace, not dramas, I don't want the disturbances that relationships bring, like pain because of death of the loved one, anger because of cheating or whatever, fear for the safety of the loved one etc etc. That's too much stress for my taste. Don't want to get involved.

-sexual bondings and all the games before it bring waves of emotions around you, there is always someone that gets affected. Don't want anyone to feel jelous because of me. Don't want anyone to suffer because he likes the woman I'm with. Don't want to be responsible for any kind of emotional mess around me.

-I don't like fighting and being competitious. I leave others to play their little war games.

-the things I've experienced in moments of solitude can not compare to emotional pleasure of relationships, and they can not be understood by anyone but me, because I'm the one that is experiencing them. In this spiritual movement that I'm going through during the past few years there is just no room for two.

so I wash my hands from all of this stuff, and walk away in peace and harmony with myself and nature.


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: companionship [Re: OldWoodSpecter]
    #4754236 - 10/04/05 02:54 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Good to hear from you friend. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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OfflineOldWoodSpecter
waiting
Male

Registered: 02/01/05
Posts: 4,033
Loc: mountains and lakes
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: companionship [Re: Icelander]
    #4754289 - 10/04/05 03:03 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Hi  :smile:

I've finished with my travel :lol: ....


--------------------
I descend upon your earth from the skies
I command your very souls you unbelievers
Bring before me what is mine


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OfflineBlueCoyote
Beyond
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 5,836
Loc: Between
Last seen: 14 hours, 38 minutes
Re: companionship [Re: redgreenvines]
    #4757588 - 10/05/05 05:25 AM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Hey, big brother wolfs sometimes haunts me down the plains and plays companion to our femals, sigh. I am not sure, where to put him :wink:
And if I were with little nephew fox, I would easily follow him down the rabbit holes, I dream of, while digging my dull but sweet and comfortable caves :grin:


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
........................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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