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OfflineTyrone_C
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Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 426
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
The internal battle between good and evil.
    #4681017 - 09/19/05 07:41 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Well I know some people may not consider this a trip report, because it happened on weed. But you must take in to account that I don't smoke weed often and I actually kind of trip out when I do. I'm not going to go through the details of my night like I did with my other trip reports, just a certain point because I found it to be rather amazing.

Let me start with some info about me. I have always considered myself to be a good person, I'm nice to everyone around me, I'm honest, and respect nature. But when I was younger I was sort of different. I was that twisted kid that just loved to sit there and torture bugs, and I was often filled with many sadistic thoughts, while awake or dreaming. Now I am quite the opposite, I am a vegetairian, and I rarely have nightmares any more.

Either way, I have always found that sort of evil has always stayed with me. Usually I'm a very unselfish person, but at times my reasoning tells me to do very selfish things. I can always choose the better thing to do. I am still always conciouse of this lingering evil, I guess it's just a part of me but I don't like it, I always end up making the right decision but I feel bad for even thinking so selfish. Anyhow, on to the "trip".

I had probably only smoked .75 grams of weed at the most, and it was out of a joint, but because I don't smoke it often I can still have a hell of a time with that amount. This experience happened about an hour after smoking, thats just an outright guess thinking about all the stuff me and my buddies did before this point.

Anyhow, I was sitting on a bed just kind of chillin, and I quickly realized that my high was gonna get more intense. And them BOOM! It hit me. My friend had turned on an old Zelda game and I'm guessing the music kind of guided my "trip". It sounded Egyption in a way to me, and all of a sudden I felt like a Pharoh (sp?) in ancient Egypt. I could see myself there, watching people slave over a pyramid, and it felt damn good. I beleive my eyes were closed at this point, and I was getting some damn intense CEV's. I'm not sure if I could actually see these people working, or I just imagined them there, but either way their preasence was evident.

After a while I had come to the conclusion that this was my evil and sadistic side taking over, and from that point on I would be pure evil. It felt damn good, and I accepted it. A surge of power ran through me, probably because of a change in the repedative Zelda music. I felt like I could do anything I wanted, and I began to conspire about world domination. I actually beleived that I could take over the world, and have people do whatever I wanted them too. I was aware that what I was thinking was wrong, but for some reason I accepted it.

Again the music changed. This time changing from a sinister theme to a more upbeat and happy tune. Of course, my mood changed again and I felt completely pure and unselfish. At this point I wanted to do whatever I could in my life to make as many people happy as I could, no matter what the consiquence for me. I thought of Terry Fox (if anyone knows who that is), and how he ran across Canada with one leg in order to raise money for cancer research. I wanted to do something like this, I didn't care about myself anymore, all that mattered was making other people happy. It was a great feeling being completely selfless, I wish it lasted.

Again the music changed. I forget exactly how but it was kind of a suspence building tune, the music was slowly building up over time. Right then and there I wanted to get rid of all the evil and inpurities inside of my head. I could actually feel my brain pushing this evil out of the top of my head, more and more as the pace of the music increased. I was so happy, finally I would be at peace.

But just as the evil was almost gone, the tone of the music changed once more, and the remaining evil seeped back down into my brain, which left me depressed for a while.

It was quite an interesting experience, funny thing is I just remembered it now and it happened a few days ago. Either way, it had left me with a desire for selflessness (is that ironic?). I felt so happy simply wanting to live for other people as opposed to myself. That would take such a strong will to do, but luckily I am still young and I have time to change. Maybe with a few more insightful experiences like the one I have just had, I will be able to acheive selflessness. Thanks for reading :smile:


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Invisiblemecreateme
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Registered: 05/13/04
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Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: Tyrone_C]
    #4681560 - 09/19/05 01:22 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

a few more




It will take more than that. I still see no end in sight.


--------------------
No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!


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OfflineTyrone_C
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Registered: 07/14/05
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Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: mecreateme]
    #4681970 - 09/19/05 03:02 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

I don't mean a few more trips, I mean really insightful experiences. And if you mean more than a few insightful experiences (I don't have 'em often, this is the first), then I have a looooooooong way to go :frown:.


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InvisibleVirgilKane
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Registered: 05/17/05
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Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: Tyrone_C]
    #4683787 - 09/19/05 10:25 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

What a great report!  It seems like a guided dream.

As far as insightful experiences, it seems to me like this was the first(the turning point) and all the others that follow will only help propell you further down the good path.  Cool for You!!

Keep us up to date on your experiences! :thumbup: :thumbup:


--------------------
Absense of evidence is not evidence of absense...

"Religion is a defense against a religious experience"
              Carl G. Jung

 
"So really, ordinary reality is a kind of chemical habit, sanctioned by culture, which says it's okay to use certain drugs, eat certain foods, and have certain sexual behaviors. However, when you transcend all this pre-conditioning by returning to the original wisdom of the animal body, then you discover this immense dimension of opportunity. For some people, it is a frightening risk. To me, that's the psychedelic experience."
Terence McKenna


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OfflineGinseng1
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Registered: 09/02/04
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Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: VirgilKane]
    #4691578 - 09/21/05 08:26 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

are u the dude that bugged out on shrooms and ended up in the hospital for running out of a van or something?

Oh yea, I dont think you have anything to worry about man, you seem to be able to tell whast right from wrong thats all u need to know.


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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OfflineTyrone_C
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Registered: 07/14/05
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Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: Ginseng1]
    #4695795 - 09/22/05 05:23 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Ginseng1 said:
are u the dude that bugged out on shrooms and ended up in the hospital for running out of a van or something?

Oh yea, I dont think you have anything to worry about man, you seem to be able to tell whast right from wrong thats all u need to know.




No that definately wasn't me...lol.


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Offlineprefloppro
Last Call
Registered: 05/29/05
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Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: Tyrone_C]
    #4699344 - 09/23/05 07:24 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Do you know to much selflessness is about as bad as bieng selfish. Because your bieng selfish with yourself and taking care of others needs when you might should take care of yours. I am not bieng selflessness is all that bad, but it can be if your doing it for the wrong reason.

I bet you have tripped mushrooms before, because i find that smoking weed after tripping is totally different. Your aware of your mind and what it is capable off. It could send you right back to a mushroom trip with the right dose. The hole grow sativa breeds will do it to you all the time.


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OfflineTyrone_C
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Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 426
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: The internal battle between good and evil. [Re: prefloppro]
    #4704483 - 09/24/05 11:28 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Meh...if I want to be selfless for selfish reasons I really don't care, because what matters is other people will be getting help.

And I know what you mean about smoking weed after you shroom, I've noticed the same thing...it's a completely different experience.


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