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Before going to jail a while back I never Ihad been high on amphetamines nearly everyday for 4 years or so. I went to the hospital after I was released from jail to complete an inpatient treatment \ program (court ordered plea bargain). 28 days, I feel great, being sober itself was a trip after 2-3 weeks of getting my head out of the clouds, dont take this letter as a condemnation of any drug at all, freedom of choice for any individual is something I think every one should be allowed to have as long they are of sound mind. Nothing the hospital said made much sense to me, I could see the human services workers (nurses, counselors) didn't have a very high job satisfaction rating in this area. The real test has been living in normal society with the ability to make or break myself, grow or decay ...economically, socially, spiritually, etc. I have come to realize that as I grow and only when I grow can I sense the good in others. It is a nasty character defect but it can help me too be who I am if I allow it too rather than be a slave to my own guilt. My perpective carries the capability of seeing the true genius in every individual I encounter and myself as I progress through that journey which is eternally flawless as the existence or consiousness that they are entitled to call their own. Carrying this weapon of infinite knowledge I can truly "seize the day. I will be empowered with the reasoning abilities capable of letting me truly live the way I see as my spiritual obligation, so to speak. I will only live for today, because I truly do have something to lose.