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OfflineMJF
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intent vs. appearance
    #4513086 - 08/09/05 02:59 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

What if you acted mean towards another not with the intent to harm them but to help them see something, does this mean that being mean can be good?

Why are we sometimes the meanest to the ones we love most?


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4513112 - 08/09/05 03:07 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

meanness can be tough love
othertimes it can just be malevolence.


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4513140 - 08/09/05 03:14 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I will ALWAYS choose abrasive honestly over smiling two-facedness.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineMJF
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Swami]
    #4513173 - 08/09/05 03:23 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
I will ALWAYS choose abrasive honestly over smiling two-facedness.




They can occur simultaneously.


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Offlinenugsarenice
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4513260 - 08/09/05 03:57 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

right!


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Invisiblezorbman
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4513338 - 08/09/05 04:26 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Personally, I use whatever technique works, kindness being much preferred. But some individuals are operating at such a low level of awareness that they will only respond to a like mentality. In those cases I attempt to reach them at the highest level they will recognize.

A good analogy is the relationship between animals and humans. Many animals that humans interact with are far superior in physical strength and agility than humans. Yet humans are able to dominate and train them. Why? It's because animals recognize on some level that humans are superior in consciousness and they give way.

Some people are operating at such low levels of awareness, almost an animal one, that they only respond to a like mentality. It is very distasteful to teach them, but it is a responsibility one finds oneself in from time to time.


--------------------
“The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Swami]
    #4513619 - 08/09/05 08:49 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
I will ALWAYS choose abrasive honestly over smiling two-facedness.




I never met a person who could ALWAYS do anything. You're the first. It must be nice to be so absolutly consistant. But I must admit to some small amount of doubt.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Icelander]
    #4513722 - 08/09/05 10:30 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I never met a person who could ALWAYS do anything. It must be nice to be so absolutly consistant.

Icey finds absolutes highly improbable; yet believes in "never", the negative opposite of "always".

Go figure!  :rolleyes:


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Swami]
    #4513729 - 08/09/05 10:37 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Swami said:
I never met a person who could ALWAYS do anything. It must be nice to be so absolutly consistant.

Icey finds absolutes highly improbable; yet believes in "never", the negative opposite of "always".

Go figure!  :rolleyes:




No belief needed. I personally never met such a person. I didn't say they absolutely don't exist.  What are you talking about? :rolleyes:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Icelander]
    #4513738 - 08/09/05 10:44 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

*sigh* Here we go.

I said I would always choose A over B.

I would wager heavily that I could give you two options and you would ALWAYS choose A. Think that is false or improbable?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Swami]
    #4513750 - 08/09/05 10:50 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Maybe you could, lets try it. I'll easlily admit it if your correct.

My question to you is have you always been abrasively honest on every issue with all the people you have interacted with in your life. Any thing less?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Offlinecrunchytoast
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Swami]
    #4513754 - 08/09/05 10:53 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

I will ALWAYS choose abrasive honestly over smiling two-facedness.




compassionate honesty doesn't even sound like a choice here


--------------------
"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4514156 - 08/09/05 01:38 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

it isn't.


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OfflineMJF
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Shroomism]
    #4514211 - 08/09/05 01:56 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

what is the difference in abrasive or compassionate honesty? isn't truth the same no matter how you try to sugar coat it or not?


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OfflineKristiMidocean
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4514220 - 08/09/05 01:59 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

my family and friends always say the only way to get anything out of me is through "tough love"


--------------------
:smile: I live for LNC :smile:


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4514226 - 08/09/05 02:00 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Would you rather have a full-body massage with Comet or almond oil? :grin:


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4514241 - 08/09/05 02:04 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MJF said:
what is the difference in abrasive or compassionate honesty? isn't truth the same no matter how you try to sugar coat it or not?




there's a very big difference. Yes essentially truth is the same whether it's sugar-coated or not, but you catch more flies with honey....
Although sometimes an abrasive truth is necessary. But not all the time, one must consider the others ego.


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OfflineMJF
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Veritas]
    #4514254 - 08/09/05 02:09 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I never heard of comet being used before. sounds kinda weeird.


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: Veritas]
    #4514262 - 08/09/05 02:12 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Would you rather have a full-body massage with Comet or almond oil?

Can I try both before I give my final answer?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: intent vs. appearance [Re: MJF]
    #4514265 - 08/09/05 02:14 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Well, if abrasive truth is the same as compassionate truth, why would an abrasive massage be weirder than an emollient one?


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