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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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allow me to complain....
    #4441095 -

my father's father beat him and his siblings very badly (they were catholic). he (my grandfather) eventually died of alcohol poisoning. my father drinks heavely on a daily basis (he goes through a handle of captain in 2 days, solo). when i was very young i saw him slap my mother numerous times. he continued to emotionally abuse her until i was 12 or so and they split (and she went insane because of some chemical disorder). he continues to drink heavely. in order for him to have partial custody of us, my sister and i need seperate rooms, which means he has to sleep in the living room. this is very uncomfortable for me because ive come home twice late at nite and found him drunkenly masturbating in front of his computer. hes been arrested twice for writing bad checks which almost cost him his job (a govt job). he was never been that horrible of a father, just a dysfunctional husband, although when we lived with him during christmas, my sister and i (12 and 14 at the time) awoke christmas morning to find that there were only the presents we got him under the tree.

i am now 18 and he now lives in the same city as my mom. i use his house as a party (get-high) house for me and my friends, cause my mom isnt cool with that sort of thing (she's a pretty damn good parent given her situation). ive introduced my father to internet-ordered opium. it began with me using his card and paying him cash for the pods. every other weekend or so, he would ask me for a cup and i would be happy to oblige. now his card is constantly maxed out because he continuously orders pods, drinking two strong cups a day. this has been for 2-3 months now. he is heavely addicted. when my sister had her tonsils removed and was in great pain, he stole her last two oxycontins. he is scheduled to retire with pay from his government job in 11 months, but i know as soon as he gets drug tested, he'll get the boot and fuck up the only thing he has ever strived for.


now, i know many of you probably came from worse homes, but its 2am and im just in the mood to vent about one of the many things that bother me  :smirk:

...input????

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Re: allow me to complain.... [Re: purity]
    #4441960 -

Purity,  It grieves my heart to hear of the difficulties of your childhood. I must say you seem like a very good person in spite of so many things that could have driven you to be a hateful one. Good for you. This is no small feat. I am amazed at the strength of spirit you have.  :thumbup: :heart:

All I can say here is you are not responsible for the actions of your parents. That's for sure. Your dad is a product of the abusive childhood he had to endure, same for your Mom.  People find each other and marry for a reason. Like attracts like. Also IMO you are not responsible for the care and welfare of your parents when they fall apart and cannot take care of themselves. They have stolen enough of your life. Don't give up what you have gained for yourself out of guilt around them.

Trust to yourself and your innermost voice. You are your best guide in life and you don't have to believe what others say or do unless it resonates in your heart.

The very best of luck to you. ( sorry if this sounded like a rant)


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Community > Physical and Mental Well-Being
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