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OfflineFreshCaps
Nor-Cal

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 740
Loc: The Cannabis State
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
I just became a Reverend!!!
    #4404191 - 07/14/05 04:57 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

http://www.ulc.org

You can become a registered reverend in less than 5 minutes... seriously lol...

Now I can marry people, and charge double for gays!!!

But I can't do circumcisions... :frown:

But I can do funerals!!!

This is funny as hell... :smile:


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THE BEST ASS:




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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 84,350
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404211 - 07/14/05 05:00 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I would... but I don't feel like it right now.


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Offlinelowdominion
Stranger
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Registered: 05/01/05
Posts: 2,440
Loc: new england
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4404227 - 07/14/05 05:03 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

can you do exorcisms? :hellfire:


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InvisibleKrishna
कृष्ण,LOL
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,284
Loc: oakland
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: lowdominion]
    #4404252 - 07/14/05 05:06 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)



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OfflineFreshCaps
Nor-Cal

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 740
Loc: The Cannabis State
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: lowdominion]
    #4404259 - 07/14/05 05:08 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I hope...

I can legally make my own religion now.. lmao this is great...

I'm gonna start a myspace with a new church...



Throw me some names, they have to be:

Funny and offend People, that's it.. :smile:


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THE BEST ASS:




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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
Female User Gallery

Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet Flag
Last seen: 6 months, 1 day
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404266 - 07/14/05 05:09 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

I became one a few weeks ago. Haha. I have my certificate and everything.

So what's up reverend freshcaps?


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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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Offlinelowdominion
Stranger
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Registered: 05/01/05
Posts: 2,440
Loc: new england
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: Krishna]
    #4404268 - 07/14/05 05:10 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

hey it comes with a doctor of divinity certificate what a bargain


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,935
Loc: the sky
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404274 - 07/14/05 05:11 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Church of the Lynched Negro.


Temple of the Festering Feces.


The Church of Shmesus Shmeist of Crapper Day Saints, P.S. FUCK


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 84,350
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: lowdominion]
    #4404275 - 07/14/05 05:11 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

That's a priest.


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Offlinelowdominion
Stranger
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Registered: 05/01/05
Posts: 2,440
Loc: new england
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404290 - 07/14/05 05:13 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

how about Confederation Of Christian Knights


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Offlinelowdominion
Stranger
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Registered: 05/01/05
Posts: 2,440
Loc: new england
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4404298 - 07/14/05 05:14 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

yeah i think only catholics do the exorcism thing


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OfflineTrainwreck
No. Really.

Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 3,563
Loc: Southern California
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4404308 - 07/14/05 05:15 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

So a priest, a reverend, and a rabi walk into a bar. The barkeep looks up and says "what is this? some kind of a joke?!"

:apple: :tomato:


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404313 - 07/14/05 05:16 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Church of the presumptuous assumption.  Pastor Rod Flash presiding. :tongue2:


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4404346 - 07/14/05 05:22 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

hey thanks for posting that, i have  been meaning to do it for a while now. im a rev too :smile:


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PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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InvisibleCaptainH13
Scum
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Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 10,287
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #4404367 - 07/14/05 05:27 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

oh,fuck yea....

this is fucking awesome.....

revenge is such sweet shit.........


(que the, "muahahaa")


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OfflineFreshCaps
Nor-Cal

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 740
Loc: The Cannabis State
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #4404382 - 07/14/05 05:31 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Im a fuckin' G

My new religion consists of:

1) Smoking Ganja Everyday

2) One mandatory Magical Mushroom trip every 3 months

3) You have to show me your titties whenever I want (for females)

4) Your wife (or girl your dating) has to fetch you beer and make you Breakfast, Luch, and Dinner or you can legally cut off her cheeks

5) You must masturbate to porn at least twice daily.

6) Gangbangs are optional

And that's it so far... :smile:


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THE BEST ASS:




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OfflineTrainwreck
No. Really.

Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 3,563
Loc: Southern California
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404385 - 07/14/05 05:32 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

7) Free bottle of assorted opiates for all new members.


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InvisibleCaptainH13
Scum
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 10,287
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: Trainwreck]
    #4404391 - 07/14/05 05:33 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

yea that^^....


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OfflineFreshCaps
Nor-Cal

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 740
Loc: The Cannabis State
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: CaptainH13]
    #4404444 - 07/14/05 05:42 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

What about a free bottle of miscellaneous opiates, and a bottle of misc. benzos???

And a free bottle of Jager...

But I get to fuck your wife/girlfriend/fiance/mom

Whichever one and in that order, no wife, i fuck you g/f, no g/f i fuck your fiance, no fiance, i fuck your mother


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THE BEST ASS:




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OfflineTrainwreck
No. Really.

Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 3,563
Loc: Southern California
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Re: I just became a Reverend!!! [Re: FreshCaps]
    #4404478 - 07/14/05 05:48 PM (11 years, 9 months ago)

Fuck your religion then.

I'm starting my own.

It's called addictism.

There are no rules what so ever, not even guidelines. You get a free BOX of assorted opiates and benzos. One ounce of high quality bud every 2 weeks, and a free eight ball of coke on tuesdays and saturdays. Oh, and we have a plethora of STD free hotties waiting on you're every need 24/7.

All members are obligated to become addicted to drugs and sex though. I hope that's not a problem.


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