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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty.
    #4157543 - 05/10/05 02:51 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

So fuckin Friday I get up like I do every morning and go to take a shit. I'm a bit constipated but eh. So I go. All is well. An hour later I have to go again and so I go and it's not too bad. So I go out, get back to my house around 2, take another shit and it fuckin hurts. I'm like what the fuck?

So I go to the clinic and the doctor is all like let me take a look. I'm laying down and he's trying to figure out what the fuck is up and it hurts so fucking much so he's like " Yeah , you probably have a fissure".

Fuck.

To anyone who doesn't know what this is, it's basically a tear. He gives me suppositories to take and some anusol and shit so i'm like ok whatever. But shit the last few days have been pure hell. Taking a shit hurts sooooooo god damn much, it almost made me vomit on Monday morning. I ended up going to the ER because I was in so much pain that my testicles hurt. The place was pretty dead and it took them around two hours to see me. The doctor checks out my nuts. Says they seem fine, and sends me on my way telling me it's normal for it to hurt 2 - 3 hours after taking a shit when you have a fissure. The pain is so intense it's been making my balls hurt and me cry.

Didn't seem to be getting better and the pain is fucking absolutly unbearable. I need something. So I went back to the mediclinic. Finally I see a competent doctor. She takes a look. No hemmerhoids. No fissure. Yeah, that's right.

So instead she finds ten small ulcer looking things. She took a swap. It might be herpes. I'm hoping it's not and is just like that from some irritant or something , but my chances are poor. I don't know how I would have even got herpes but if it is herpes it doesn't matter if I got them from a fuckin alien prode. I'll get results back in 5 days.

This is fucking shitty, and is a huge pain in the ass.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Registered: 05/17/03
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #4157565 - 05/10/05 02:57 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Hopefully it's not Herpes. I've never heard of it being found in the anus, but I'm not a doc. I did have a fissure a while ago, so I know how painful that can be. They told be to avoid "bulky" food (stuff with high fiber in it) for a while to lessen the pain. Hope they can figure out what's wrong with you....


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4157595 - 05/10/05 03:05 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

I couldn't even get codiene as a painkiller because opiates could constipate me so I have to take some lame non-narcotic one :frown:


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Offlinebrowndustin
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #4158125 - 05/10/05 05:27 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

That sucks dude. I've been fighting with a fucking fissure and it hurts to sometimes even squat my legs. RIP! The thing's open again and taking shits is a nightmare.

I wouldn't want to fathom the pain you're in right now. I've just been eating healthy, and eating fiber. Atleast it'll come out nicely because of it, and smoking weed because it seems to constipate me. Hopefully it's not herpes, bro.


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: browndustin]
    #4158409 - 05/10/05 06:46 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah. A nightmare describes the pain quite well. I can't take a 1/4 of a shit without screaming for the messiah or some shit like that. Then afterwards I have to walk like I have a stick up my ass, lay down on the bed and cry and writhe in pain.


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Invisiblebudsicle
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #4158710 - 05/10/05 08:06 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

damn i could feel ya pain when reading that, that sucks bro..


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InvisiblezSDMF
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: budsicle]
    #4159122 - 05/10/05 09:41 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

man smoke lots of herb and meditate. listen to easy going music and try to chill the fuck out. take off work(if you work) if possible, and i would just sit around, lounge, do jack SHIT until you got the results back and get started in treatment.

saying that makes me sound lazy eh? well, welcome to me: i am lazy.

sucks you can't get a buzz on your painkillers, some opioid relief would probably be relief but meh, fuck im rambling again


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InvisibleJared
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: zSDMF]
    #4159170 - 05/10/05 09:49 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Someone isn't regular. :smile:


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InvisibleBoom
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Jared]
    #4160298 - 05/11/05 02:12 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Damn man, I had a fissure once, from having too wide of a poop.  (God that sounds funny)...

Having pain when shitting is terrrrrrrible.  I don't think its due to him being irregular; if it's herpes it's from somethin' else  :lipsrsealed:


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InvisiblePsychoactive1984
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #4160389 - 05/11/05 02:50 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Tasty_Smurf_House said:
This is fucking shitty, and is a huge pain in the ass.




:lol: 

Beyond that, theirs a simple way to transfer pain, but it involves transferance of it... not in some spiritual reproach, but in an actual one.

For instance; If someone is complaining about having a migraine (internal/brain pain) what you do is snap them on the back of their neck really hard, and it'll alleviate the pain, at least transfer it to your neck on the assumption that the pain inflicted overrides the former pain.

I dunno how well it'll work in your situation, but have a group of friends pound you on one of your shoulders till you have a lot of welts. Or hurt another part that you can cope better with, one of the pains will override the other. It sounds really stupid, because it is, but it works.

Cocaine could possibly help reduce the effects if it is applied directly on the fissure.... but that's a waste of yayo. At least it'd numb the region.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.


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OfflineTehKraken
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Psychoactive1984]
    #4160465 - 05/11/05 03:30 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Shit sucks, literally, lol.

I remember once when I took a great big poo, I swear to god I must have expanded my ass at least 2 inches more. Hurt so much. Took me 30 minutes to shit, that one was as doozy.

I'd hate to have what your feeling. Personally, any pain in the nuts sucks. I feel sorry for you =(, try taking a laxative maybe?


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InvisibleBoom
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: TehKraken]
    #4164461 - 05/12/05 01:04 AM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Unfortunatly, it seems his problem isn't from inproper diet or eating habits;it's something completely different.

Pain (of any sort) in the ass suckkkkkkkkkkks. Feel better Smurf


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OfflineMadtowntripper
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #4166044 - 05/12/05 12:48 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

A tear of your anus? Wouldnt that get infected pretty easily? Are you on antibiotics?

Serious question....


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #4170559 - 05/13/05 01:28 PM (11 years, 6 months ago)

Ok well I'm taking ketorolac for pain, the doctor made me take valtrex as a precaution, and i'm using nupercainol on my ass as a local anasthetic. I've just been takin it easy, eating bran and shit so my shit doesn't hurt quite so badly, but other then that there isn't a whole hell of a lot I can do. I should get my test results back on sunday.


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OfflineBurning_Skies
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Re: Unbearable pain. This is hella shitty. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #5318573 - 02/20/06 04:17 AM (10 years, 9 months ago)

I'm sorry, but I laughed my ass off the whole way through reading this thread. hurt like hell to laugh that hard. here's why:

I had a fissure once from being constipated for a month and then finally taking the most gigantic dump I have ever seen in a toilet bowl. the turd was so big that it got stuck halfway through flushing thew toilet and the thing overflowed and the tud refused to move despite plunging. I called a plumber and he said that it'd be cheaper to get a new toilet. of course the whole shit hurt worse than anything I have ever felt before, including having my foot run over by a rented u-haul. and then parked on. I figured the pain from all the shit would go away, but it didn't so I saw a doctor, and he said I had a fissure and gave me some kinda non-narcotic for the pain. my ass still hurts when I take a shit, but not as bad. unfortunately for me, before I found the cash to get a new toilet, I had to, naturally, take a dump. you think it'd hurt to have a fissure, try having to squat over a hole in the floor and shit while constipated.

anyway, this thread reminded me of that experience, and sometimes all we can do is find hilarity in our own misfortune. my advice: once this is all said and done, don't watch the three stooges or anything. the pain'll attatch bad memories to TV. I had to see a shrink for a couple of weeks to get over that hangup.


--------------------
__________________________________________________
Any mistakes in the above are the fault of the reader and/or his dealer.

In the teachings of Zen, the beginner's mind is the most restful, the most aware. As we age, we lose that mind, the mind of the child. David Blaine once said "A little baby doesn't need magic, for it already lives in a world of astonishment, wonder, and discovery. For one fleeting moment, that is what magic does for the rest of us." Well, that is what psychedelics do for me, but over a longer period of time. So before you go regulating what I take into my body, keep that in mind.
I will break the laws of the ignorant bigots who seek to stop me from experiencing a higher conciousness.


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