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Offlinelucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Need a Miracle
    #4124013 - 05/02/05 06:04 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Today was/is a *REALLY* bad day for me  :sad:
I feel like I've really screwed up. I've
been trying to study all day for a new job
I've got but couldn't understand a thing.
I got so tired I lay
down for a minute and immediate went to
sleep. I was awoken by my mom who just
came back from work and started yelling
at me about sleeping in the afternoon and
acused me of drinking... :frown:
if I was functional I wouldn't have to
deal with such hurtful acusations.
She used to be more empathetic, but I guess
she's tired now and can't put up with me
(her own work is horribly stressful).
I feel terribly hopeless. Wish I could somehow
get back on my own feet, I try hard but my
efforts never seem to be good enough...can't
sleep at night, constantly panic day and night
and feel horrible.
I feel really guilty because I don't seem to
have the courage or ability to endure pain to
be functional.


--------------------
"no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."


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InvisibleAdden
Saprotrophic Specimen
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 34,146
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: Need a Miracle [Re: lucid]
    #4124047 - 05/02/05 06:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Sorry to hear, man.

If you really care about keeping this job, accept the fact you're not going to be a Master at it in a day. If it's especially tough it's going to take some time.

Removing as many stressors as possible will help you out in the state you're in right now. Stick out your current job as long as possible so you can get outta there.

The older we get the worse our mothers get. Not only is she probably tired of her job, she is probably upset her son isn't where she was X amount of years ago. Believe me, I hear the same shit. I commute to school, when I should have gone away. My buddy's got it worse than you do -- he's 23 years old, doing absolutely nothing, and has a straight off the boat Italian mother.

She pulled him out of work by the ear for finding a beer bottle in his room. :eek: :eek: :eek:


It could always be much worse. At least you give a shit and you're doing something for yourself. You could be on the street shaking a tin cup begging for change. Stick it out -- no matter how impossible it may seem now, it will pay off in the end.

Hang in there.

:hug:

s2


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Invisibletak
geo's henchman
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/21/00
Posts: 3,758
Loc: nowhereland
Re: Need a Miracle [Re: Adden]
    #4124201 - 05/02/05 06:38 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

moms just want to see you do good. like you said, her job is stressfull, you may be adding to it but she loves you. she may not understand that you are trying, because 99 to 1, you blew it in the past by fucking off. just keep on truckin, and dont let the small shit get to you. in a little while life will be good, and this helps...without the bad, the good wouldnt be all that great.

I am pretty sure you will be fine, this is a great place to vent, and let me reassure you buddy, you are not alone. I've been there, and im sure I will be there again real soon :]

I wish y ou the best


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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InvisibleDark_Star
dick butterfly
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 27,983
Loc: Under the Grecian fog
Re: Need a Miracle [Re: lucid]
    #4128279 - 05/03/05 05:16 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I'm in the same situation man.


--------------------


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InvisibleAdden
Saprotrophic Specimen
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 34,146
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
Re: Need a Miracle [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4129370 - 05/03/05 09:41 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I had a really intriguing conversation with my mother last night, and rootninjatak is right, our mothers just love us so much and want the best for us.

Sit down sometime and just talk to her. Tell her you're trying. Try to come to some level of understanding that you're both doing the best you can, with what you have, and where you are.

If you look at it from her POV, it must've looked really really bad.

Just keep plugging along man. One day she'll be gone and you'll miss her like hell.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 93,974
Loc: underbelly
Re: Need a Miracle [Re: lucid]
    #4129390 - 05/03/05 09:47 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Lucid, the miracle is you. :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Invisibledorkus
don't look back
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/12/04
Posts: 1,511
Re: Need a Miracle [Re: lucid]
    #4133210 - 05/04/05 04:51 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Are you feeling better by now, brother?

Did you try the acupuncture?

I will pray for you.

:heart:

one day you will wake up, and everything will be still. your mind will be so calm, and thoughts will arise when you need them. that is what awaits after a storm.

What are these panic-attacks about? Different stuff or some imprinted thought-loop repeating itself? I have it to a degree myself, but it has improved lately.

chew on the sentence below, you beautiful madcap  :heart: :sun: :sun: :sun: :heart:

It's the Ones Who've Cracked That The Light Shines Through

Just patiently swallow the bitter pill of time for another while. You will hit your well-deserved peak. I am sure of it.

Namaste
Thomas


Edited by dr_mandelbrot (05/04/05 04:58 PM)


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