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A wave on the ocean
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Registered: 02/22/03
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Happy St. Patrick's Day (Jokes Included)
    #3929271 - 03/17/05 08:44 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

In honor of St. Patrick driving the cursed serpents from fair Ireland I've decided to share some bad Irish jokes and of course the traditional Smokin' O' the Green. Enjoy!

Q. How do you identify an Irish helicopter?

A. It has ejector seats.
First Irish Farmer: "My cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it."

Second Irish Farmer: "Did you shoot it in the hole?"

First Irish Farmer: " No, in the head."
Q. What do you call an Irishman who has 1,500 girlfriends?

A. A shepherd!
An American tourist was boasting to an Irishman how advanced the Americans are.
"Gee, we've even put a man on the moon."
"That's nothing," replied the Irishman,"we're going to put a man on the sun."
"Don't be stupid," said the American," "he'll fry before he even gets there."
"Oh no, he won't. We're sending him at night."
Paddy was walking through a graveyard when they came across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."
"Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave."
McCuen stumbled out of a saloon right into the arms of Father Logan. "Inebriated again!" declared the priest. "Shame on you! When are you going to straighten out your life??" "Father," asked McCuen. "What causes arthritis?" "I'll tell you what causes it! Drinking cheap whiskey, gambling and carousing around with loose women. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't," slurred McCuen. "The Bishop has it!"

Anyone have any good Irish jokes? Please?


"I hate having to pick between the lesser of two evils. But I'm glad Obama was elected. McCain was another war monger. I'd rather deal with our country going into debt than trying to take on afghanistan...oh wait FUCK!" - Fungus_tao

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the Modern dayPacman

Registered: 04/01/02
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Re: Happy St. Patrick's Day (Jokes Included) [Re: AislingGheal]
    #3929315 - 03/17/05 09:00 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

those jokes aren't irish jokes
they're lame jokes with the word irish in them

BoUnCy BaLL IS All SoUrCe OF LIGhT AnD HaPPiNeSS!!~! *bEEP* *beEP*

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Tool's groupie
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Re: Happy St. Patrick's Day (Jokes Included) [Re: AislingGheal]
    #3929324 - 03/17/05 09:05 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

No jokes...but good morning anyways!


The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.

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Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 4,278
Loc: Great White North
Re: Happy St. Patrick's Day (Jokes Included) [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3929539 - 03/17/05 10:16 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Q: Why did god invent whiskey?

A: To keep the Irish from taking over the world.

It's true.

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