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Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip
    #3378081 -

I just wanted to share with everybody my first potentially bad trip since I always claim to not have them..

Anyway it started out at 1 something when I was talking in our IRC chat and was getting bored so I decided I was going to dose and go for a walk in the woods.

I ate all my mushrooms, which came out to around 55 wet grams, so we'll guesstimate 5.5 grams dry, and then I sat back down and chatted for a while until I was getting confused from conversation. Then I headed for the woods behind my house.

It was all dreary and kind of cold with a steady down fall of a misty rain. I walked around for probably 30 minutes in the woods but for some reason it wasn't cutting it, and I kept getting hit with some pretty hard anxiety waves so after my short walk I went back inside to listen to some tunes and just chill.

Got back inside, turned on some Tom Petty because it felt right at the time, and it was. Everything was great, I was singing and dancing around like an idiot just having fun.. eventually after around an hour I'd say I went in my room to play a little smash brothers melee knowing that my peak was coming on soon and I wanted to see some of the great colors/visuals that go along with playing this game. Needless to say I was instantly bored of the game because my mind had started racing pretty good, and I went out to the kitchen to get something to drink.

I made it to my living room where there's hardwood floors and a big sliding glass door that looks out toward the woods behind my house and I got lost in thought. The next thing I know I'm pacing around the living room speaking every thought that hits me out loud in a kind of demonic sounding rythymic poem.. and that was really insightful at the time, it seemed amazing some of the stuff spouting from me.

At one point I had a concious thought and wanted to think about reality and how everything came to be.. boy was that a bad idea. I kept dwelling on it, knowing what I was doing, trying to hit ego-loss, because those are the things I always have in my head at the time. I flipped a grip and ended up turning my demonic poetry shit into something worse.. I was on the verge of screaming and flipping out the entire time, unable to contemplate if I was real and if I were real, where the fuck did everything come from? Who was I? Am I the thought that I'm talking to? Who was I directing my questions to? Do I have two people in my head? And then I figured out that life really is pointless, what is the meaning of it all? Why do we spend 100 years here pack-ratting shit into a giant box that means nothing..

Finally I somehow came down to a point where I was co-herent and made it back to my room and laid down unable to sleep. I sat there for around an hour almost ready to break down and just sob about my meaningless existance. Finally I decided I'm playing smash brothers regardless of how bad it is because I can concentrate fully on that and hopefully turn my thoughts away.. It must have worked because I wouldn't stop playing the game for 2 hours because I was afraid of my own mental thoughts..

Anyway, today I'm sane again and just wondering about some of the thoughts I came upon last night.. I was completely alone all day yesterday and I think that's how it got so out of hand, but usually I can handle it.

Jesus this was a long post.. sorry people.

- Silven


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What do you bring to the table?

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378101 -

Hectic shit, Silven! I bet it's one of those trips that will be really insightful and thought provoking in retrospect.
By the way, I think you're great. If your life was meaningless, your posts wouldn't be so interesting!


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LURK

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378105 -

Wow ... That kind amakes me not wanna trip mushies. I am still going ot eventually though.


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I saw a little green light buzzing around in a tree, and it dawned on me that "they" were here
~~~LouiseLouise


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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378106 -

:hug:


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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Loosifa]
    #3378107 -

Thank you Loosifa!  That means more than you know :smile:


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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: JettaJay]
    #3378122 -

JettaJay said:
Wow ... That kind amakes me not wanna trip mushies. I am still going ot eventually though.


Haha, that was my initial thought after reading this.
I have to try it though. I want the experience...plus, I've already got them!


--------------------

The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3378134 -

Des, you and Jetta should definately try mushrooms if you have had interest in them.

I've had countless good trips, and I will not let this one stray me from them.  I actually think I've gained more insight from yesterday's trip than I have any of my previous.

I wish you both the best in your psychonautical adventures! :thumbup:


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What do you bring to the table?

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378136 -

You are a magic bunny, and I predict you will have a much better one next time.
I think some good comes out of all trips, even if they're scary and hectic at the time.  You carry it with you, and are therefore all the better prepared on ensuing journeys.
I did a killer trip where I was in the middle of a big infatuation for my partner"s best friend.  Whoa, shitfire!  Sobbed inconsolably through the whole thing, whilst fighting the strong urge to tell my partner why I was crying!
It all worked out in the end, no harm done.
Hee hee!! :wink:


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LURK

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378140 -

Hey Silven I love your posts man. Sounds like you had a rough one, but its always a learning experience. Ive had some bad trips in my day, but like you I always manage to keep my head in the general vicinity of my shoulders. In many ways our life on this planet is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. However this is not to say we can't make more of it than it was supposed to be. Nature, music, friends, art, making love... these all make existence relevant to me. If it ends up when we die that there is nothing more than a void, I just hope that I had a good time while Im vertical. I still hope I get to go to level 2 :wink:


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Anjaba said:
Oh shit, don't drink it.... It would eat away your esophagus...
mantis said:
Leave me out of this pissing contest, you fascist wang-dang-doodle!
Hattori Hanzo said:
If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut

Edited by beejay (11/18/04 07:14 AM)

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: beejay]
    #3378153 -

I think sometimes we all have to have a bad one.  Maybe in a few months time when you look back on it, you won't even see it as negatively as you do now while it is still so fresh in your mind.  Perhaps you absorbed something vital and haven't even realized it yet...!

I saw in someone's sig once "Mushrooms: It's all fun and games until someone loses an 'I'..." 

:heart: :hug: :heart:


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Edited by CherryBomb (11/18/04 07:20 AM)

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: CherryBom]
    #3378170 -

"I saw in someone's sig once "Mushrooms: It's all fun and games until someone loses an 'I'..."

I like that its kinda catchy.


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Anjaba said:
Oh shit, don't drink it.... It would eat away your esophagus...
mantis said:
Leave me out of this pissing contest, you fascist wang-dang-doodle!
Hattori Hanzo said:
If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: CaRnAgECaNdY]
    #3378175 -

Desiree said:
Haha, that was my initial thought after reading this.
I have to try it though. I want the experience...plus, I've already got them!


Thats my only problem I have to cultivate my own ... I have been burned twice by buying them from people.  :mad2:  It sucks to pay 40 bucks per 1/8 and not feel anything. I am not good at cultivating so I may be waiting awhile.


--------------------
I saw a little green light buzzing around in a tree, and it dawned on me that "they" were here
~~~LouiseLouise


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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: beejay]
    #3378177 -

beejay said:
"I saw in someone's sig once "Mushrooms: It's all fun and games until someone loses an 'I'..."

I like that its kinda catchy.


Thats Ellemy


--------------------
I saw a little green light buzzing around in a tree, and it dawned on me that "they" were here
~~~LouiseLouise


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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378180 -

Silven said:
I was on the verge of screaming and flipping out the entire time, unable to contemplate if I was real and if I were real, where the fuck did everything come from? Who was I? Am I the thought that I'm talking to? Who was I directing my questions to? Do I have two people in my head? And then I figured out that life really is pointless, what is the meaning of it all? Why do we spend 100 years here pack-ratting shit into a giant box that means nothing..


i've had a very similar trip to this, it was pretty nihilistic, but after i sat back and looked at it some months after i'd had the trip, i started seeing different ways to interpret what i'd experienced.. i started remembering that the voice in my head kept saying 'this is it. this is all there is! how pointless, there's no meaning behind this..' i eventually came to look at the trip in a completely different manner, and i believe my trips nihilistic approach on the world was just a reflection of my attitude at the time.. i still think that this might 'be all there is'.. but i know i can make the best of it while i'm here

hope you aren't too shook up, silven!


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378185 -

I'm glad you can look back at this wiht a smile on your face (well maybe not exactly :smirk:  but you feel like you gained some valuable lessons right?)
You're a cool person as far as I can tell from the posts you make: cool and informative :thumbup:
keep on doing that :sun:

ps I never had a bad trip but I'm aware of that it could happen some day

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: lukeboots]
    #3378209 -

Jonny wrote:
Quote:
hope you aren't too shook up, silven!


I'm pretty shook up right now, and I do agree that it might have something to do with my attitude. I should have known going into the trip that there was potential for something like this to happen because the last four days or so I have been in a really bad mood and just generally down in the dumps.

The ways you have all gave me to look at this seem very valid and a all of them seem to make sense. Having my fellow shroomerite's feelings about it help a lot, because right now I'm just awe struck as to what I was feeling yesterday. I knew a bad trip would hit me eventually, but I don't like looking at it as a bad trip now that it's a new day.. just a whole new perspective of things. I feel maybe that it was trying to teach me that I need to think opposite of how I felt yesterday, that there may be meaning in life somewhere, or that I have to go and make the meaning for my life.

I feel that change is needed in order to come to terms with the reality I faced yesterday. Maybe my thoughts toward the pack-ratting meaningless existance(which is what shook me up the most) should teach me that my thoughts vs. material possession might be what I need to find, as obviously material possession is basically meaningless.

I hope that in a few days, weeks, or months I can fully understand this whole ordeal as Cherry said.

I'm just happy to be back in reality right now and able to think once again.


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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378222 -

You rock Silven :smile: enough said.


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Anjaba said:
Oh shit, don't drink it.... It would eat away your esophagus...
mantis said:
Leave me out of this pissing contest, you fascist wang-dang-doodle!
Hattori Hanzo said:
If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378252 -

It happens to the best of us. Try to learn various meditations and mental excercises for before and after the trip. (Even during if you want)

Stay off of the shrooms for a while and try and incorporate what you learned into your daily life, when this is accomplished and you feel secure in your acheivements then perhaps you could try the mushies again.

If you're ever online and tripping again, feel free to PM me if you need anyone to talk to. I've been there.  :thumbup:

I wish you the best.

:smile: :sun: :peace:


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The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth...

bloodflower6

Yay for Pornography!

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: Silven]
    #3378255 -

Silven said:
I feel maybe that it was trying to teach me that I need to think opposite of how I felt yesterday, that there may be meaning in life somewhere, or that I have to go and make the meaning for my life.

I feel that change is needed in order to come to terms with the reality I faced yesterday.  Maybe my thoughts toward the pack-ratting meaningless existance(which is what shook me up the most) should teach me that my thoughts vs. material possession might be what I need to find, as obviously material possession is basically meaningless.


:yesnod:

thats exactly what my problem was..
so let's move to canada without our possessions and find the meaning of life!  :stoned: :wink:


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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: Last Threads of Reality.. Yesterday's Trip [Re: beejay]
    #3378265 -

Rock on!



:rockon: (insert cool air guitar noises) :rockon:


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