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Masks and Authenticity
    #3320413 -

Some here do not like my style and that is OK. Everything is not roses and fuzzy bunny slippers. But here is the thing, in my younger years I smiled at my enemies, I pretended to be the good little social clone. I wore different masks for different people and different occasions so as to get along.

Now I do my best, to NOT put on a front; to speak my mind without trembling and wondering if my audience (whether one person or a whole forum) will still like me when I am finished.

We wear masks for only two reasons: fear and to manipulate. Actually only one. Fear. Manipulation means that you do NOT trust that you can get the result you seek without being deceitful. We must first become conscious that we are doing it, seek out our motivation and then, if we are mature enough, decide to drop it.

Do I still wear masks? Yes, as I am not a fully authentic being. But much less than I used to.


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Swami]
    #3320439 -

There is one more reason to wear a mask

Out of compassion. Sometimes it is ok to be what you are not, for the sake of others misfortunes.

I mean if everytime a homeless guy came into our shelter and I just gave him the truth he may fall totally apart. I am forced to wear a mask, out of his needs, until he is strong enough to swallow truth

I think the wearing of masks, as you so put, it is OK.

I know we haven't talk hardly at all Swami. Please don't think I am not liking your stlye.

Human are master manipulators. It's what we do best.

It is when we use are masks for selfish reason that it becomes a problem

Masks worn for love is where it's at


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What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Swami]
    #3320440 -

*claps*

Personality is exagerated.

Edited by the_phoenix (11/04/04 03:31 PM)

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: the_phoenix]
    #3320556 -

Every communication requires a mask.

Consistency is not authenticity.


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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: deff]
    #3320589 -

Very nicely said


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What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Swami]
    #3320590 -

I don't have many problems with your style, but then again most of my teachers in life have been of the ruthless variety.

You're correct that everyone has masks, but is it really helpful to walk up and rip someone's mask off? Would it not be better to simply point out they're wearing one?

Telling the truth is great, but if you walk up to an unattractive person and say "You're ugly." how does that type of thing really help someone? Sure you've told the truth, but look at the damage done. I admit this is not a great example, but you get the idea.

People have different capacities for handling the truth as well. And pointing out painful truths can do more harm than good. Why use the two-by-four approach when a scalpel will do?


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I am what Willis was talkin' bout.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: deff]
    #3320606 -

There might be a misunderstanding here. One does not have to show every one the same facet of their being. I will treat a co-worker differently than my parents or my lady. This may seem inconsistent, but one is responding to differing dynamics. That is not what I am discussing.

If your parents or in-laws invite you over for Thanksgiving dinner and you truly do not want to go, do you plaster a phoney smile on and say, "I would love to!"?


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Jellric]
    #3320635 -

I wear masks because that is what I am.
You wear masks because that is what you are.
We pick them up as impressions from our families and all throughout our lives including media.

Every expression of self is a mask, whether you mean it in a manipulative way or not; neither more nor less real than any other expression.

The idea is to know your repertoire of masks and to cultivate the good ones: in a way you must wage jihad on the masks that are unfaithful to your spirit - the path of the warrior is about working with the masks.

The only authenticity is how you work amongst your personal repertoire. No-one else can judge it.

This is what is meant by being impeccable: understand what you are and work with it.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3320757 -

Newborn babies do not wear masks. They let you know when they are angry, hungry, pleased; etc. Do you think it impossible and/or undesirable to return to this level of authenticity?


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The proof is in the pudding.

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baby talk [Re: Swami]
    #3320800 -

like I said the unelaborated or highly motivated masks are equally authentic with the most spontaneous.

a baby's scream or giggle is as real a mask or expression, and just as suitable to purpose, as a diplomat's duplicitous clinking of cups full of wine.

it is not a static truth, and as it gets more sophisticated it can get more beautiful.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Swami]
    #3321039 -

Swami said:
If your parents or in-laws invite you over for Thanksgiving dinner and you truly do not want to go, do you plaster a phoney smile on and say, "I would love to!"?


Yes, if I knew saying other wise would upset her. What you talking about is not allowing self sacrifice for the sake of others needs.

Not some superior way of thinking but a self fish existence


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What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Fucknuckle]
    #3321859 -

Fucknuckle :
"Yes, if I knew saying other wise would upset her. What you talking about is not allowing self sacrifice for the sake of others needs.

Not some superior way of thinking but a self fish existence"




It would upset her more if you said "yes I would love to" and she knew that you did not really mean it. Honesty is defiantly important in my book. If you truly do not want to go or you have a reason not too, you should explain to her why. Now... maybe your reason for not wanting to go is selfish and that is what needs to be changed but, at least be honest. Being fake to make someone else feel better is not a good thing.

Edited by BuddahKillah (11/04/04 08:47 PM)

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Swami]
    #3321876 -

I know I do. I can see it everytime i'm being social. Sometimes I think it's because I'm trying to BE social. When I'm around people my mind goes blank and I get anxious and paranoid, and then the mask goes on to try and be involved? I don't know...


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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: barfightlard]
    #3321898 -

Swami:
"Newborn babies do not wear masks. They let you know when they are angry, hungry, pleased; etc. Do you think it impossible and/or undesirable to return to this level of authenticity?"

A wonderful idea. Expressing our emotions naturally is the key to staying healthy and happy. Always give everything 100%. If you don't want to do something then say NO. If you agree and then you can't give 100% you cheat the other person and yourself. I tried wearing masks but I could never find one to fit my big head.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3321917 -

*Swami rummages through closet*

Here, try this one on.  :tongue2:



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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3321931 -

Well I followed everyones advice and was totally honest today..

On the subway to work I told an old lady "You are an ugly old woman."

(Which was true).

Result? She hit me with her handbag.

At work I told my boss, "You are a fat unthinking blowhard."

Totally true.

Result?

I was fired.

I got home and told my wife, "You are a thankless nag and living with you has been tougher than a two dollar steak."

True.

Result?

We're getting divorced.

So. After praciticing your advice I was assaulted and humiliated by an elderly woman, lost my job, my wife, my home, and my kids.

Thanks a lot, guys!  :noway:


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I am what Willis was talkin' bout.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Swami]
    #3321945 -

That one is too close to the reality to be of much use.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: Jellric]
    #3321951 -

Jellric said:
Well I followed everyones advice and was totally honest today..

On the subway to work I told an old lady "You are an ugly old woman."

(Which was true).



Result? She hit me with her handbag.

At work I told my boss, "You are a fat unthinking blowhard."

Totally true.

Result?

I was fired.

I got home and told my wife, "You are a thankless nag and living with you has been tougher than a two dollar steak."

True.

Result?

We're getting divorced.

So. After praciticing your advice I was assaulted and humiliated by an elderly woman, lost my job, my wife, my home, and my kids.

Thanks a lot, guys!  :noway:


Don't be crazy.  You can be honest without being so rude.  If someone honestly ask's you a question, then they are ready for an honest awnser.  If the old lady in the street asks you how she looks, you should give her your honest opinion.  There is a big differance between just going up to people and flat out telling them when you think of them and just being honest.

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #3321964 -

"If the old lady in the street asks you how she looks, you should give her your honest opinion."

"Well Ma'am, I think you are a thoroughly unappealing, and disgusting hag. You are truly too ugly for mere words...well, have a nice day!!!"

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Re: Masks and Authenticity [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #3321980 -

Don't be crazy. You can be honest without being so rude.


Ohhhh.

Thanks for letting me know that man!

(How rude).


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I am what Willis was talkin' bout.

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