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Some thoughts I had on trauma at 4am while being an insomniac
    #29644184 -

A traumatic experience only ever happened one way in a literal sense. But what changes when you heal? It's learning how it is framed through thinking about it.

When you experience trauma and you reexperience it you only keep seeing it the same way that you first saw it: hurting, dissociated or alone.

It's only when you can see it from a different perspective that the memory of it seems to change and loosen it's grips on you.

It's still the same experience. It still hurt, dissociated or alienated you once. But now it can be seen as what it was, an experience.


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Re: Some thoughts I had on trauma at 4am while being an insomniac [Re: ellamush]
    #29644186 -

I feel that once it is processed better, you can think about it without reexperiencing the trauma and the emotions.


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Re: Some thoughts I had on trauma at 4am while being an insomniac [Re: ellamush]
    #29644899 -

I found that dissolving my ego allowed me to objectively observe my trauma and in some cases forgive myself when I had been trying to find excuses to make it my fault.

Being able to unburden myself of this undeserved guilt has been remarkably therapeutic.

I would like to thank drugs for that.
In particular ayahuasca.


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Re: Some thoughts I had on trauma at 4am while being an insomniac [Re: GenesisCorrupted]
    #29644957 -

I feel like burying trauma deep inside you solves all problems.


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Re: Some thoughts I had on trauma at 4am while being an insomniac [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 1
    #29645005 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
I found that dissolving my ego allowed me to objectively observe my trauma and in some cases forgive myself when I had been trying to find excuses to make it my fault.

Being able to unburden myself of this undeserved guilt has been remarkably therapeutic.

I would like to thank drugs for that.
In particular ayahuasca.


Yes.
I feel the same, I feel that I needed to work through the trauma and the impact it had more generally on my mood before I could sit back and take stock of the actual events that caused it. But now I can say that actually I was not to blame, not in the ways and lengths I thought. I think most people would have blown up after the stuff. It doesn't excuse blowing up and being mean like I did when I parted ways with some. But it does excuse the parting ways.

Yes while I didn't have mushrooms working with me to help the trauma side, I do thank the impact mushrooms are a better understanding of myself because of them to helping me to actually grow.


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Re: Some thoughts I had on trauma at 4am while being an insomniac [Re: ellamush]
    #29668544 -

Sometimes I feel like time is all it takes. I think about things less with time, though it still hurts.


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