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Offlinerepemon
journeyman
Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Recovering from trauma
    #3652821 - 01/20/05 10:33 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Yesterday was the most weird day of my entire life.

I shifted to spiritworld after smoking a bowl. I just love marijuanas ability to make me trip while its even too easy to maintain calm. Next thing: Im going outside of my friends place to leave with my car. So what happens is my car doesnt start up. Im so incredibly stupid I decide to call my mother, in middle of night, and this was the worst mistake of my life so far.

My mother just started yelling to me (yea now it sounds like "aha" to mee also), and as I was so high I just didnt have any defense mechanism against her, and if you would look at it in the sheep-realitys point of view I really did have fucked up (reason being I shouldnt have been where I was due to my work in the morning). So I felt guilt by this.
So, I just kept sucking my mothers negative thoughts bout me and couldnt say anything. I didnt even realise to hang the stupid phone before some 10min had passed. I just couldnt take it anymore. This was the moment I realized "oh shit, this is a trauma and not just a bad vibe".

I was still in the moment while after hanging up the phone. I felt this really big ball at the place of my ground chackra. I could also feel negative vibes going there as my mother spoke to me.
I though "it will go away from there if I just keep myself calm and stay in the moment".
No way, it was too much to fight alone even for me. When I was able to keep myself calm (most of the time until 30min alone) I felt pure exstatic feedback from my chackra.
After walking some 30min I just couldnt fight it anymore, and had to call my GF for help. My emotional field was like that on LSD. Also thought process.

With my GF's help I managed to keep myself calm, and in touch with my emotion. The ball at my gchackra was trying to bend my back alot, but somehow I managed to stay relaxed, until what happens: Phone battery run out, help away.

At this time the trip intensity was starting to fade little by little, and I started to feel my groundchackra closing completely, and started to feel myself moving next to my body. This caused alot of jamming in my muscles everywhere in my body, headache, you name it. Bad thoughts started to come to my head little by little but I fighted each one of them away. But I just wasnt strong enough to get also the emotion out of me. I managed to grab a taxi after 2 hours (was hard as there was thousands of barflys also waiting for the taxi).

Taxi took me home, waked up my father to pay it, and then I called my GF again for encouraging words.


---

Today morning:
In the morning I knew I was in posttraumaticstressdisorder stage. I had only one thought in my mind: I have to cry it out, loud.
Meeting with my mother in the morning, she started to blame me about all the things wrong about me, and then I just broke in tears. This is when she took me in her arm, and I explained what had happened. I cryed for a long time, and I started to feel my chackra starting to feel alive again little by little. This made me relaxed.
Today I've been feeling this sensation at my gchackra all the time, smoked a joint after getting the trauma out of me to help keeping me better focused in the moment so I wouldnt lose my feeling to my body. Its like its releasing emotional feedback to my head constantly.
I've started to feel better little by little, but im certainly nowhere near as grounded as before this great trip.

So any advice from fellow people would be greatly aprreciated, what would a shaman do in this kindof situation? One thing I have already realized, I have to build up better defense mechanisms for myself so I dont keep sucking negative vibes like this even in trip state.

Also, fear was not really present or hasnt been taking control of me in any moment, I think this was a keyfactor in everything that happened. I've been all the time in this "observing my bodily functions" mood, concentrating on my groundchackra.


--------------------
- When the time stops, evil ones will be pointed out for all to see.


Edited by repemon (01/22/05 12:41 PM)


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OfflineSWEDEN
Miracle of Science

Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 2,577
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3653058 - 01/20/05 12:11 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

so you were traumatized by your mother yelling at you while you were high?

you my friend sound like a very sensitive person. You get psychadelic effects from weed while most people just get stoned. You take your mother's words very seriously while most people just shrug it off.

My advice: do not try to build deffence mechanisms. They will just come naturally as you age. You are much better off as a sensitive person. Just be careful not to let yourself get into awkward situations like that. I am completely comfortable talking to my parents or friends' parents while tripping shrooms (let alone high), even though I know they can see my dime sized pupils, tensed up muscles, and smell those sweet mushroom sweatdrops.

Just remember: it was not that bad of a disaster, it just seems like that way because it happened only a day ago. You already reconciled with her and you talked it over with your GF. You will be fine.


--------------------


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InvisibleCorporal Kielbasa
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,029
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3655114 - 01/20/05 08:35 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Correct the flow in your body. Use your soar spot on your left breast. Rub it for 30 seconds. You may feel a total rush as your body corrects its self.

Then put one hand on your belly button and one on the base of your spine(base chakra) And repeat to your self that you are learning to support yourself in the light. till it feels true.

And if you feel like your mother is irritating you hit the side of your fist against the other hand while thinking of her. That presure point keeps u from absorbing her vibes.


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Offlinestefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 5 days, 12 hours
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3657291 - 01/21/05 05:28 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

In the morning I knew I was in posttraumaticstressdisorder stage.



I'm sorry you had a bad experiance but you don't seem to know what you're talking about.
You had a shitty experiance, no traumatic event (at least it doesn't sound like something traumatic). Don't worry too much, you'll get over it, soon.
I suggest you stop smoking weed and doing other drugs and also if you keep doing that don't even think about driving when you're so high that you can't think rationally anymore.
how old are you btw?


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Offlinerepemon
journeyman
Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: stefan]
    #3657455 - 01/21/05 07:31 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I'm sorry for your try to give advice but you dont know that I know what Im talking about.
I know perfectly well what a trauma is. Been there, done that, before. You know how persons eyes move for example after traumatizing event?
And I also know that I have no reason to quit weed smoking, im just going to do it in the future in much more respective manner, it helps my meditation so much like today.

And im 19 years old (like it matters?) but I know what Im talking about, so please quit posting if you have really nothing to say. (Well this car-driving advice was for the right reason, but I know where my limit to this goes like everybody else.)
Oh and I have my legs really well grounded in both worlds (now only the other completely), so it may not sound like traumatic event to you too much.


--------------------
- When the time stops, evil ones will be pointed out for all to see.


Edited by repemon (01/21/05 07:34 AM)


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OfflineSterile
mushroom lover
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Registered: 03/16/01
Posts: 2,500
Loc: under the Amanita
Last seen: 3 days, 20 hours
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3657738 - 01/21/05 10:45 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I keep on surfing from traumatic events to ecstatic happy events more than 30 times a day.

Is this called schizophrenia?


--------------------
The Source Of The Force
Is The Power Of The Mind


"if you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - timothy leary"
Anno: "-I can do anything with those clouds!"
Annos Tek




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Anonymous #1

Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3657818 - 01/21/05 11:16 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

This statement needs reworking after your story, it is obviously NOT true.

Quote:

I just love marijuanas ability to make me trip while its even too easy to maintain calm.




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Anonymous #1

Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: Sterile]
    #3657827 - 01/21/05 11:19 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I keep on surfing from traumatic events to ecstatic happy events more than 30 times a day.

Is this called schizophrenia?




Define traumatic. If you mean you are losing a limb or a loved one or something similar 30 times a day, then it could be traumatic.

Traumatic is not everyday struggles, everyone has those. It is all in how you deal with them. If you let them bog you down until something pleases you, you are training yourself to ride that up-down rollercoaster everyday. You have to live in the present and accept life as it comes. Readjust and assimilate, move on.


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Offlinerepemon
journeyman
Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: Organic]
    #3657851 - 01/21/05 11:28 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

True, now I would say that if I didnt smoke a bowl this would have never happened.

But what I ment at the moment is that, I suppose if this happened on shrooms my story would have ended alot more worse.
Also good news ppl, Im recovering really fast. So fast its really getting interesting. Im learning so much.

And the method suggested for countering negativevibes is effective.


--------------------
- When the time stops, evil ones will be pointed out for all to see.


Edited by repemon (01/21/05 11:39 AM)


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Invisiblelukeboots
fresh futuristic
Male User Gallery
Registered: 02/04/04
Posts: 19,728
Loc: Grand Ole Operating Syste...
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3658121 - 01/21/05 01:31 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I don't mean to come off as condescending, but I can hardly see how your situation would be traumatic.

In 2004, I went through some "traumatic" events, that I would rather not discuss, and I'm still getting over them.

Maybe we just have different views of trauma completely, but in my case, not a night passes where I can get to sleep without the traumatic events in my mind, even after 3 months, I've seen psychologists about it, seriously (financially and emotionally) screwed up my life, etc.. I don't claim to have the most traumatic life or something, and I'm definitely not trying to "out-trauma" you.. but hell dude, my mom has yelled at me high countless times.


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey


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Invisiblebf6
Keep the highfive alive!

Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 3,121
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: lukeboots]
    #3658175 - 01/21/05 01:51 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I tend to agree with JohnnyWax about this. I'm certainly not trying to downplay your trauma because emotional trauma is relative, but maybe you should toughen up a bit because I'm sure life is going to throw you bigger obstacles than that in the future.

:shrug:


--------------------
The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth...

bloodflower6

Yay for Pornography!


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 84,350
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: bf6]
    #3660959 - 01/21/05 11:12 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

bf6 said:
I tend to agree with JohnnyWax about this. I'm certainly not trying to downplay your trauma because emotional trauma is relative, but maybe you should toughen up a bit because I'm sure life is going to throw you bigger obstacles than that in the future.

:shrug:




--------------------




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Offlinerepemon
journeyman
Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #3662280 - 01/22/05 12:13 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

HELLA_TIGHT said:
Quote:

bf6 said:
I tend to agree with JohnnyWax about this. I'm certainly not trying to downplay your trauma because emotional trauma is relative, but maybe you should toughen up a bit because I'm sure life is going to throw you bigger obstacles than that in the future.

:shrug:







Sorry, but reality is not really a problem for me to handle, I am really tough as long as I just stay grounded (as anybody would be).
Thx for your trys to give advice, no more is it needed though. Seems like shamanic death is the way to go for me, got my first experience with it yesterday. Also, seems like some things are too unreal even for some of the psychedelic ppl, like for example my case :smile:


--------------------
- When the time stops, evil ones will be pointed out for all to see.


Edited by repemon (01/22/05 12:23 PM)


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InvisibleSociety
Pizza Guy

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 13,939
Loc: Eating pizza
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: repemon]
    #3662417 - 01/22/05 01:05 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Trauma for one person could be something another person could just "shrug off". I think a lot of you folks are missing this.

I'm also an extremely sensative person in some ways. When I get high, I don't get stoned; I trip.


--------------------
Delicious Pizza


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OfflineEarthAngel
Tripper

Registered: 01/23/05
Posts: 67
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: Recovering from trauma - need advice (happened yesterday) [Re: Society]
    #3674565 - 01/24/05 11:04 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

O to be able too trip of weed!
If you believe yoyr chakras are out of enlignment from this event, see if you can get hold of the "chakra clearing cd, by doreen virtue.
It is a great way to end the day and have a night full of mystical dreams and wake up feeling like you've enevr felt b4!


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