First cactus trip, Psy-Fi 2017
Intro: after growing cacti for five years, I decided to trip on T pachanoi at Psy-Fi 2017. Blendered down and boiled 750 grams of material with a smidge of citric acid. My ex-wife and Frida would arrive on the Friday and I was able to get there by Thursday. So. A day and night to experience the cactus for the first time. Arrived in the soaking rain, pitched the tent somewhere as far from the beaten track as possible. After all the online bogus ('windowsill cacti from N-Europe don't do nothing', 'pachanoi is always weak') I was really anxious if this was going to work and if I didn't fuck up my largest cactus for nothing.
Turned out that this specific pachanoi is the strongest cactus in my collection.
The rest is translated verbatim from my notes:
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Back in the tent. After a first scouting round around the terrain, I've decided to have a swing at it. Munching down the green snot, that is. Took a decent crap and need to inflate the bed, take a puff of weed and hit it. After 4 PM the weather seems to be clearing up (so I was told), so until then, the tent it is. The festival grounds are wet, but very beautiful. I am far off the beaten track, but it's quiet here. Good to be here. (Later) A real bed, finally! And water, and a break from the rain. Dug a barfing hole. And need to take a crap, again. Befriended the closest neighbors, Jakob und Mandy. That mescaline seems to be working already (after five sips).
(Later) Finished! Goddamn, that's no joke. I'm starting to get really gobble-eyed and can feel the puke gaining momentum. This is going to be heavy. (Later) Jesus what kind of crap is this. Don't know if I need to crap or puke or both at the same time. The ground is moving and little critters crawl everywhere. I need to really, really puke but it will not come out. (Later) Decided to sit out the ugly parts here and leave after that. Holy jesus, this stuff is awefully strong. Everything is pounding like crazy, my heart, my head, my intestines. Maybe I'll laugh about this in an hour, but it seems I really overshot it this time. Next time we'll start out with half this dose. At home. With the kids out on a sleepover. And [ex-wife]. And the intestines. The most terrible part is, the stuff won't come out. I should be puking for dear life. What a freaking mess.
(Later) Oh dear. Finally threw up a load. Jesus, this stuff. You don't use that for pleasure, do you? Who'd poison himself with stuff like this? Gotta be a total madman to do that. Mental asylum. It comes out the way it went in. Green slime. Big dollops of bitter green slime. Alkaloid extraction is recommended, goddamnit. (Later) Wow, the neighbors must've had quite the view. There he comes again, kneeling in his own piss, barfing green dollops. Lol. Going to smoke some weed, think I've weathered the freakiest part.
(Later) It's really sad, but I'm tripping so hard that I can't manage to go fetch some water. To walk a hundred meters in one direction is already miraculous. I can't find directions, don't understand if it rains or not? Barely able to separate below and above. Keep returning to the tent, trying not to get completely eaten by the mescaline. Will be missing a lot of the line-up. (Later) Half the dose... Half the dose would be a fine starting point, next time. Jesus. (Later) Smoke some more... The adrenaline is killing me. Been lying here for hours and it keeps coming. (Later) Finally I can let go of myself some more, these words come to me like sprouting branches, blossoming within themselves. I used much too much too flower mescaline, much and much and much too much. Big rotating ends that give birth to themselves and much too much too flower bread. Bread? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Much too much mescaline is as if all reality is being pushed through one sensory organ, one big cacophony of everything. (Later) Trying to eat something, in hopes of sobering up a little.
(Much later) What? I? What? After a last ditch attempt at some water, I roamed around for hours, totally crushed. A very kind, very patient German guy and two very kind, water bottle posessing Dutch girls brought me, a sweating mumbling wreck, to a water tap. Apparently I tried to reach the Main through a closed-off route for hours. Stumbling back and forth. If my sweet German (a friend of Daksinamurti's, waddayaknow) wouldn't have kept a watchful eye on me, I'd really, never have found water. Which brings us back to: what? What the fuck just happened? Somewhere I decided to ingest cactus before everything started. And somewhere, somewhere very far from that point, I return, drowning in sweat, destroyed, at least eight hours later, finally return with that bottle of water that was needed so sorely. In between those points? The hardest trip in my life? The most disturbing memory of overdose that I've ever collected? Something like that? With being very lost, that's a fact. Very, very, very lost on a very, very high dose. ++With extras++between plus signs++because it really was too much++ --> And god damn! It was only 25 cm of cactus. Next time I'll contemplate daring to try 10 cm! I don't get it all! Now I'm tripping hard enough, really hard, and it is, what (checks), ten hours ago (V+V=X) that this thing started.
And now I'm going to smoke a little weed and hope that it helps that ?? - expels the odor of someone who's been sweating profusely for hours without resupplying the water used to produce all that sweat goddamnit!! If there wouldn't have been some weed, I'd probably have been felled by a goddamn stroke because of too much goddamn adrenaline goddamnit.
Holy fuck boys. Once I'll read all of this back and grin -> what? More ??? Hadn't we been through all questionmarks already? But at that time I will realize to a lesser degree than now, how way way way worse much too much too much goddamn mescaline that was. You better take that from someone who feels like a wreck, smells like a wreck and can probably produce the first five letters of that word w*r*e*c*k, in the, well there you have it, even in the correct order of appearance. Sequence! Thingy! Much too much!
****
One of the best memories of that day / night. I was walking along a road through clouds of geometric patterns. Trying to figure out what a water tap looks like. But everything morphed so hard that I couldn't focus on anything, let alone produce an image from memory. So I looked up and there, straight above me, I was, walking upside down in the opposite direction. The two mes looked at each other in silence and all I could think of was: which one is real? Is one of these even real?.
Another really good one was seeing the planet from outside of the atmosphere and seeing the hydrological cycle, live in action. I saw water molecules separating from the sea and drifting up. Saw rivers returning to where they came from, all giddy to leave their basins and be free.
And of course the people who saved me. The guy who plucked me off a road and said: you need help. The girls who dragged me to their camp to feed me bottle after bottle. The three of them escorting me to the dancefloor. The guy kept reverting to German and the girls (rolling very hard) kept reverting to Dutch. And I kept thinking one of the girls was a longtime friend, because she kind of looked like her. Everyone forgot everything instantly.
People who save mumbling maniacs, covered in green spit: gotta love them.
And that pachanoi? Still the absolute favorite. Never had bridgesii or peruvianus that could match it. Tripped on 250, 500 and 600 grams and every trip was an absolute banger. 500 grams of peruvianus just keeps me up all night and makes my heart race. This is the original plant today:
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