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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
a person...me
    #2943099 - 07/30/04 03:36 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I think I'm losing my sense of identity.

Or is it just "ego" that I am losing? I don't necessarily mind.

I don't know. If asked "who are you?" I wouldn't be able to answer. I mean really...who am I? I'm a person, but...am I really? I don't know? How do I know that I'm merely a "person?"

Does life seem like so much more? "Person" seems so inadequate a term for the human experience. We are so much more. "I" am so much more. We are all beyond human. The voices of the universal consciousness? Who can tell? All I know is that I'm not who I ever thought I could be at all. Maybe I'm losing pieces of myself in the process of discovering so much more.

Does anyone else feel the same way?


I'm a little drunk right now but this is all I can think about.


love,

*me*


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943114 - 07/30/04 03:41 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

You cant mold something that has no form or edges... we are a constantly evolving state of being.

To say who you are may be innacurate, before i could understand who you were, it woudl already be past... your brain changing the way you percieve yourself.

Dont worry about whether you can answer the question of who you are...

When people ask me that i think... I am me... and i can understand what I am, by understanding my life... and a lot of times... thats who we are... and since we are always moving forward... thats always changing.

You are not a word in a dictionary, you are not characters on a screen, you are not a summation of corresponding number sequences. You just are.


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What?


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: a person...me [Re: Zero7a1]
    #2943130 - 07/30/04 03:48 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Zero7a1 said:

You are not a word in a dictionary, you are not characters on a screen, you are not a summation of corresponding number sequences. You just are.




That is so true...I think I try to compare myself too much to what is "normal..." 

Then I feel abnormal.  But you had a wonderful response.  "You just are."  Thank you

:sun:


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943145 - 07/30/04 03:53 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

:laugh:


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What?


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943203 - 07/30/04 04:10 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
I'm a person, but...am I really?  I don't know?




I don't know. There's a lot of this going around lately. People are changing. I've noticed it. I mean... They're the same, but they're different somehow. It's like they're being replaced with exact duplicates of themselves, but something is missing...

Have you checked under the bed for iPods? :shocked:


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: a person...me [Re: Papaver]
    #2943285 - 07/30/04 04:44 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

No Ipods...haha.

That's really interesting Pap, can you explain further?

I've even wondering if it has been the tripping that has changed me, but I honestly can't remember what I was like before I started tripping.

I wouldn't change any of it, but I mean...I feel so..."other". Like...something has changed/is changing. I feel as though I'm a part of something better, but yet I'm losing myself? That's the only way I can describe it.


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Offlinewrong
Stranger
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 1,219
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943348 - 07/30/04 05:08 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

theres 6 billion people on earth and our souls are stretched thin
maybe you should stop eating mushrooms for a good while and see how you feel
alot of people here pretend like psychadelics are gods great gift to man and can in no way be harmful but it is important to keep perspective


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OfflineoDin
Registered: 08/13/99
Posts: 5,789
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943353 - 07/30/04 05:10 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

perhaps it just takes awile for you to become comfortable with your "new" self....i mean im still adapting....and its been years...stilll crunching information.....but uh i like myself more now than ever before ...but still feel kinda lost....yeah

its jsut the unfamiliar...sometimes even if the familiar is worse, a part of us yearns for it.

it helps me alot to have a place (shroomery) to talk to people and realize its not just me

. no, we are all cwazy :smile: [men in white coats appear]


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943354 - 07/30/04 05:10 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
That's really interesting Pap, can you explain further?




Hmm... Can I explain further...

Well, that whole little rap I just did was a parody of a classic '50s science-fiction/horror film called, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," which was also remade in the late '70s.

The plot of the film basically involves people who feel that the people around them are being replaced with duplicates who really aren't those people. What is initially made to look like simple paranoia, turns out to be a horrible reality, when we discover that an alien race is colonizing earth, and using "pods" to replace people with exact duplicates.

Hence the popular expression, "did you check under the bed for pods," when someone is not quite acting like themselves.

Lately, I have been humorously attempting to substitute "iPods" for "pods" in that reference, as the recent buzz about the iPod has some similarity, as do most cultural-memes, to some of the social statements in the film(s) regarding behavior on an individual-level vs. broader social-scale.

Perhaps, the reason that the post/joke went over like a "lead zepplin," is because I'm kind of a sponge for this kind of cultural minutiae, and my own personal time-line is a little longer that the average Shroomerite, so I'm liable to go babbling on about all kinds of things where people don't catch the reference. My only hope, is that there is enough accreted "stuff" in the aggregate matter that constitutes my posts, that somebody will usually find something of interest in them... :wink:

PS: On a serious note, I don't know if I'd sweat this one. I've gone through periods like that, and I've always come back just fine. Sometimes, I think worrying about such things can make them worse. Everybody's different, but my way of dealing with such "shifts" in awareness are to realize they're occurring, and then try to enjoy them while they last.

If you've been pursing a lifestyle of massive drug intake lately, and feel that this may be a contributing factor, then you might want to back off a little, but other than that, I wouldn't worry about it. However, that's just me. I'm not a doctor. I just play one on TV! :laugh:


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: a person...me [Re: Papaver]
    #2943379 - 07/30/04 05:21 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I've been on a psychedelic break for about two months now.  I haven't smoked weed in a month.

But this feeling has just started...within the past three weeks or so. 

I don't know.  It's not unpleasant, just disconcerting.  In fact, I am looking forward to my next trip experience (which will be within two weeks or so).  I plan to do it outside in nature (I've never tripped in nature believe it or not).  The past few weeks I've felt drawn to be outside more, and get more in touch with natures creatures so maybe this is part of that?  I don't know.  Maybe it's hormones.  :tongue:


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943403 - 07/30/04 05:28 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
Maybe it's hormones.  :tongue:




It could be. That estrogen is funny stuff... :wink:

It's probably ok. It's probably not even drug related -- if you're not over-doing them. Sometimes, we just go through these little perceptual shifts; brought about by various factors: age, environmental stressors, diet, etc.

Like I said, I'd just go with it, and see where it takes you. :smile:

On a lighter note: Did you know, that if you google, "son of a mill-worker," that you'll get 5,960 web-pages? I wish I could harness that kind of "buzz!" He's gonna be bigger than the iPod! :laugh:

I can't wait to babelfish the phrase, "son of a mill worker!" :grin:

Edit: Okay, I just did. Here's the result: "Son of worker of plant."


--------------------


Edited by Papaver (07/30/04 05:31 AM)


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: a person...me [Re: Papaver]
    #2943415 - 07/30/04 05:34 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Papaver said:
Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
Maybe it's hormones.  :tongue:




It could be. That estrogen is funny stuff... :wink:

It's probably ok. It's probably not even drug related -- if you're not over-doing them. Sometimes, we just go through these little perceptual shifts; brought about by various factors: age, environmental stressors, diet, etc.

Like I said, I'd just go with it, and see where it takes you. :smile:

On a lighter note: Did you know, that if you google, "son of a mill-worker," that you'll get 5,960 web-pages? I wish I could harness that kind of "buzz!" He's gonna be bigger than the iPod! :laugh:

I can't wait to babelfish the phrase, "son of a mill worker!" :grin:




haha, Jon Stewart on the Daily Show was making a big deal out of that today...about Democrats using humble beginnings to gain support with voters.    :grin:

I think I'm going to be okay...I never use mushrooms more then once a month and whenever I feel like a break I take it.  I never push myself too much with these powerful substances...

I just occasionally have periods of unreality where I *wonder* if everything is alright with me.  But...estrogen is indeed a funny thing.  :wink:


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OfflineoDin
Registered: 08/13/99
Posts: 5,789
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: a person...me [Re: MOTH]
    #2943418 - 07/30/04 05:35 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

perhaps its just an ability to see things in 3rd person


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: a person...me [Re: oDin]
    #2943426 - 07/30/04 05:38 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

You might be on to something there...


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Offlineplexus
holding thelight of athousand candles

Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 1,290
Loc: texas
Last seen: 6 years, 23 days
Re: a person...me [Re: Papaver]
    #2943502 - 07/30/04 06:03 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Read about John C. Lilly's insanity/outsanity philosophies. It applies.


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that there, thats not me. :noway:
i go where i please. :yesnod:
im not here.:shake:
this isnt happening.:nonono:


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