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Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex * 2
    #29360869 -



Found this really cool Philosophical video about work done by Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer and the "Mechanics of Sex". Arthur Schopenhauer argued that the reason why some heterosexual men give up on pursuing sex is because they see thru the illusion of sex and love. These men realize that sex is a biological act and is a cyclical pattern that traps men into the illusion of biological pleasure and temporary fulfillment. And once a man awakens to this truth, he will avoid sex and love to search for a deeper Truth about himself and eventually meet a woman who is on the same path in life who has also realized the grand illusion of Sex and sees the Higher Truth of biological Reality. Arthur finally concludes that this disentanglement from sex was actually the process of Spiritual Transformation for men.

Very interesting video. I would love to hear all of your perspectives on this Philosophical theory.


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 2
    #29360915 -

Ever been in love? Recieved love? Not known what was expected, how to reciprocate, felt it was given one sided, recieved it one sided?

Been aware of limerence, attachment theory, patterns of trauma growing up, awareness of how we were treated or treat others?

Been happy to cuddle without sex? Wanted what's best for someone else? Accepted love, loss, grace and gratitude all together?

Been seen, seen?


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: sudly]
    #29360966 -

I have been falling in love with girls and women since I was 2&1/2 yrs old
a great deal of self restrain is necessary otherwise my dreams would lead to chaos


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #29360972 -

I had 3 lady friends in my life. The first was a 4 year relationship, the second was 6 months, the third was 3 months. I had plenty of sexual intercourse, and I'm thankful I got a chance to experience it.  And now I've reached the zero point. There is no sex and intimacy in my life, because you have to be in society playing the game.

There has to be some participation in the hierarchy of learning and working.

What happens to the man who steps out? He's invisible to women.

Besides, you never chase women, they will come to you if you're doing reasonable well in some endeavor. For my first girlfriend, basketball and art was enough virtue to draw her into my web. For my second, it was cannabis dealing and music production. For my third, it was IT-web development.  In all three instances, I was in the game of life, working and hustling. 

But when you step out of the game completely, no woman can see you or stand you.  There has to be some tangible virtue and merit so she can understand what she's going after.

I don't believe in the "she likes me for me" bullshit.  She likes you because of the merit and virtue displayed by whatever you're working at. You could be a car mechanic, a computer technician, a farmer, a carpenter.... there has to be something you're good at, some merit, some virtue, some intelligence, a sense of humor.  Otherwise, there's no sex or intimacy or love, there's just nothing.

I'm invisible to women at this point. Money is important, but more important than money is the merit and virtue that generate that money.

Edited by Cory Duchesne (10/01/25 06:18 AM)

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29361002 -

Only 4 min into the video and I can tell it's 100% true
I started down that path a couple years ago
It's been weird but I don't mind it at all
Sex for the sake of sex without true desire and admiration just seems stupid


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #29361008 -

Cory Duchesne said:
...
I don't believe in the "she likes me for me" bullshit.  She likes you because of the merit and virtue displayed by whatever you're working at. You could be a car mechanic, a computer technician, a farmer, a carpenter.... there has to be something you're good at, some merit, some virtue, some intelligence, a sense of humor. ....


Actually she does not even know what she likes you for; it's the reflex she has in the context where a connection can be experienced. Suddenly in that context you are perfect.

this is not a total understanding of compatibility, but it is a flash of mating worthiness that zings through her body and mind intuitively. there is no time for an assessment, that always comes later, and pass or fail, you each get under the other's skin.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #29361937 -

I think women, like men, like to feel wanted, and theres a balance to the art of self expression without being beholden to something having to happen.

Its kind of that vulnerable moment of feeling like wanting to kiss someone and expressing it but not having to experience it in that moment, but allowing or creating space for her to have the choice, because sometimes vulnerability invites vulnerability, and sometimes you hear, I want you too.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: sudly]
    #29362026 -

We are not so different than chimpanzees. A high school dance is like a dominance ritual, and the guy doing the worm and break dancing, improvising and making an imaginative display, he signals some measure of health and vitality, and he attracts the kind of lady who is fooled by that sort of thing. Humans rely more on trendy clothes, cars, intoxicants, rifles, hunting, bowling, other sports, but in all of this there is a kind of imaginative display happening within a dominance ritual. That's why it's so difficult to find a mate when you're past the age of 35.  There's no traditional framework to display oneself.  After the age of 35, if you don't have a mate, you can't go back to high school.  That bottle of vodka and some friends at the high school dance .... it's not available to an older person. Can a grown adult over the age 35 engage in dominance rituals? Some can. Some cannot. Trump is an example of a vigorous chimpanzee, someone who, even after the age of 50, is domineering in the hierarchy.   


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29362047 -

I met my current wife at 38 - she managed a hat shop near my cousin's chair and lamp shop. (married over 36 yrs)

I met my previous gf at a 3 month computer contract posting at 37 (it ended up as a 1 yr cocaine disaster)

I met my first wife (married for 13 yrs) by parental influences and previous gf reccommendation

I met my first gf when we attended a gestalt psychology course (we were both still in high school but were invited by psych students at university)

Not sure where or when I get to add to that series of entanglements


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: redgreenvines]
    #29362244 -

I've never been married and probably never will.  I have dyscalculia and executive function issues - a politically correct way of saying I'm 'none-too-bright'.  My glory days are behind me. I had a surge of success in high school playing basketball and volleyball, got some attention from a few ladies. What lies ahead is just doing my best not to be harmful to the people closest to me, to stay out of harms way, to rid myself of bigoted thoughts and bigoted people, to not be an annoyance, and to minimize the overall embarrassment I feel about my poor mental condition.

I have a white beard, and am shell shocked, I guess you could say.  I believe what I have to look forward to is going out bowling and fumbling up against my own dyscalculia when it comes to adding up the bowling score, but I struggle through and always manage to live to see another day. I just don't talk to ladies anymore, I leave them alone and I stay out of the corn-fields. By corn-fields, I'm referring to corny jokes or sayings. I don't do much of anything, really. It's just a constant struggle with myself and the cliches of life. It's a constant effort to not be a hypocrite, to not exact esteem from others by pedestalizing, demonizing, disparaging others or just all the ways a person can go wrong. The tongue is lethal. For me, talking and listening is a deadly poison through the ears and out the mouth.  I do what's necessary, and not much else. Binary dilemmas and choices annoy me immensely. I guess you could say I have a strong craving for unity, oneness, life as a unified process. The choices just don't appeal to me, but people always find a way of sneaking in a "which one?", and I never find it matters much, one way or the other. The shoe has to fit.

Edited by Cory Duchesne (11/04/25 08:01 AM)

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29362282 -

shave the white beard, and keep on bowling. you will have a ball!


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: redgreenvines]
    #29362307 -

Yeah, my beard turned white only recently. I could shave it. I'm definitely lazy, as it has been said before, "man's greatest passion is not sex, it's not power, it's laziness."

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29362353 -

delay gratification for laziness if possible


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 3
    #29362931 -

Sometimes I think that ideas around commitment to one person and how it can change over time in healthy and non healthy ways, remembering that even healthy ways can and often are painful to experience and process.

Like we may want love, but are we willing or capable of walking away and rebuilding ourselves if the relationship does dissolve?

That balance of healthy communication and self respect in a mutual relationship requires mutual maintenance and upkeep. Desire, want and communication expressed. Patterns of communication recognised and seen. Etc.

A loving experience might not mean forever, but as long as two people are both committed to keepup up the same level of communication they've expressed a desire and want for.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: sudly] * 1
    #29363090 -

The right ingredients have to be there - capacity, capability, virtue, merit, courage, intelligence, humor, money, a car, hygiene, charisma, maybe even some wisdom.

Then a male-female relationship is possible and probable. It's a lot of work, it's a load.

Judging by what I see out there, lot's of people manage to engage with each other in monogamous norms, marriage, reproduction, it happens and it will continue to happen. Some women even complain that the man won't marry her...

I've never been in that situation.

The man will say, "its just a piece of paper (marriage certificate). And a Dr. might reply to him, "if it's just a piece of paper, then why don't you sign it?"

For me, personally, there is not much hope. I've burned through 3 ladies, and maybe the relationships I've been in were not the most healthy, but I did the best I could with what life gave me.  This body, this brain, this endocrine system.... it took me places with some ladies.

Old Schopenhauer has a consoling message to those who have had enough or who can't figure out why it was never enough to be begin with.

I met some philosophers online when I was around 25 years old and they completely disparaged sex and male-female pairings, it's like they were completely above and beyond that kind of thing.

Now that I'm 45, I admire men who can form affiliations with ladies and be good to them.

But when I was 25, I was feeling burned from my past relationships, and you know what they say about the person who has been burnt.  "Once burned, twice shy."

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29363261 -

sounds like the burn is still stinging


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: redgreenvines]
    #29363447 -

The suffering of a young man gets compounded when he seeks or falls into the company of other embittered men, all suffering from their confusion about the feminine, spurned on by a woman's rejection of him. It was a bizarre twist of fate to come across men online who were sophisticated bigots, openly declaring both men and women as in need of liberation through a masculine mindset. Yes, it burns and stings to come across people misusing language, loudly trumpeting themselves under the banner of masculinity. Who or what hurt me the most, women or men? I've met some good people in my life, and I've met some bad.

That is why I will always have soft spot for Terence McKenna and the shroomery. The feminine or woman is valued, not turned into a project of cultivating masculinity. 

"The division between the masculine and the feminine is only trivially a difference between men and women. It is fundamentally a division between plants and animals. Plants are the enveloping feminine matrix of control and refurbishment. Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around; an extremely 'yang' solution to a peculiar problem which they faced. So the archaic revival, if it means anything, it means reconnecting the Gaian mind, which is a vegetable mind, a feminine, enfolding, boundary-dissolving planetary mind that is not an abstraction, not a stereotype, not something used to create hortatory propaganda, but a living, breathing reality." TM

Being a child or even a teenager, there really isn't a conscious effort at changing oneself into masculine or feminine. People are free to be who they are.  It's only as an adult, particularly around 25 years of age, that a person feels this peculiar pressure in culture itself to pick a gender, to be this or that, to move into one extreme or the other.  That's why I hate binary dilemmas or choices. I am free to be what I am, both masculine and feminine, an interplay between yin and yang. Some social atmosphere's are more concerned with shaping the individual into one thing or another. It does sting, it does burn. It bothers me.

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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29363617 -

Cory Duchesne said:
...Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around....


sounds like Marvel Comic Book fantasy.
aquatic algae evolved from photosynthetic bacteria over a billion years ago
and The first land plants emerged much later, around 470–500 million years ago, during the Ordovician period - small animals already existed (like worms, flatworms, etc.)
Plants did not invent animals, but evolved fruit and seeds which gained benefit from animal distribution.
Later angiosperms and pollinating animals developed together just over 130 million years ago...

TM is a poor substitute for a factual encyclopedia.


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29363878 -

The foundation is friendship right?

Chemistry and compatibility unfold over time, and i think one thing seems key, self expression without being beholden to needing anything now.

I dont want kids or a marriage, I want present conpany, but I also can take the time to try and realise what I actually have to offer too, and to put myself out there enough and make it clear enough that I can meet people who want something similar.

Im not perfect, im not looking for perfect, but im willing to share what I know I want, to actively listen, and to try and make it work. And maybe thats the best one can do.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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Re: Arthur Schopenhauer and Men Seeing thru the Illusion of Sex [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29363879 -

Cory Duchesne said:
The suffering of a young man gets compounded when he seeks or falls into the company of other embittered men, all suffering from their confusion about the feminine, spurned on by a woman's rejection of him. It was a bizarre twist of fate to come across men online who were sophisticated bigots, openly declaring both men and women as in need of liberation through a masculine mindset. Yes, it burns and stings to come across people misusing language, loudly trumpeting themselves under the banner of masculinity. Who or what hurt me the most, women or men? I've met some good people in my life, and I've met some bad.

That is why I will always have soft spot for Terence McKenna and the shroomery. The feminine or woman is valued, not turned into a project of cultivating masculinity. 

"The division between the masculine and the feminine is only trivially a difference between men and women. It is fundamentally a division between plants and animals. Plants are the enveloping feminine matrix of control and refurbishment. Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around; an extremely 'yang' solution to a peculiar problem which they faced. So the archaic revival, if it means anything, it means reconnecting the Gaian mind, which is a vegetable mind, a feminine, enfolding, boundary-dissolving planetary mind that is not an abstraction, not a stereotype, not something used to create hortatory propaganda, but a living, breathing reality." TM

Being a child or even a teenager, there really isn't a conscious effort at changing oneself into masculine or feminine. People are free to be who they are.  It's only as an adult, particularly around 25 years of age, that a person feels this peculiar pressure in culture itself to pick a gender, to be this or that, to move into one extreme or the other.  That's why I hate binary dilemmas or choices. I am free to be what I am, both masculine and feminine, an interplay between yin and yang. Some social atmosphere's are more concerned with shaping the individual into one thing or another. It does sting, it does burn. It bothers me.


Framing masculinity and femininity as plants and animals may be part of a non-conformal mindset?

All i can say to that is that i dont see women in any way as carriers of children, its just personal preference, but I think it takes a lot of pressure off.

Maybe ill reword this later, but I think seeds imply something I dont want, and I connect with those who want the same thing, as in, not wanting children of their own, but still being able to nurture.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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