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Offlined33p
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The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread
    #2906821 - 07/20/04 12:04 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Ok, i'll explain an odd quark i have concerning my mental state.

It has become nearly unbearable to be alone. I just cannot manage it anymore. When I'm alone nothing will spark my interest. I try to watch TV but nothing ever seems to be on although i pickup every direct TV channel. I try to play games but they don't do it for me anymore.

Now this would be alrite but the boredom i face turns into me asking myself mentally over and over "What am i going to do?" I have to plan the next day over and over in my mind even if i have nothing planned. It got to such a bad degree that i would sit in front of this computer for hours asking myself that question over and over. It felt so odd, i didnt want to ask myself that question but i just could not stop.

Luckily i have been out and about with a group of people nearly every night this summer so it is unable to effect me. One main reason i post here is because it distracts me from the question. I fear though i will soon lose interest in the site. I find myself more and more skipping through posts and threads.

Now this condition is completely gone right now. There is a very marked difference in my mental state when i get this that i can easily sense. Also it is not always "What am i going to do?" it is sometimes other things. It always feels like i am worrying though. I ask the questions in an almost worried way.

Also i have experienced depression and mania in the past. And i have extreme OCD when it comes to RPGs which prevents me from playing them at all.

Anyone have an comments. I feel perfectly normal right now but thought i may as well ask. I'm just thankfull this only occurs when i'm alone.


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OfflineDivided_Sky
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2906855 - 07/20/04 12:18 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I feel that way alot. For me it's almost like the feeling, or fear of, getting lost in my own mind all alone. It makes me want focus more outwardly and I get very suseptible to needing people around to feel alright. It's not quite boredom though, more like some kind of existential dissatisfaction. I think what is true for both of us is that we have the need to be stimulated by other people or we are left with some kind of mode of thought we don't like. Sounds like the syptoms of something deeper.


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Offlineld50negative1
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2906885 - 07/20/04 12:28 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Everyone feels that way... that's completely normal.. unless all the types of people that enjoy the shroomery are the ones that all have ADD/OCD complexes


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Offlined33p
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: ld50negative1]
    #2906894 - 07/20/04 12:33 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Other people sit in a chair for hours asking themselves a couple of questions over and over? I mean serriously it was bad at one point. I couldn't do anything when alone.

And i feel the majority of shoormerites fit into a category of above average intellectuals with quarks which somehow lead them into the enthogenic lifestyle.


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Offlineld50negative1
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2906905 - 07/20/04 12:37 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

well, i have to flex my muscles in my forearms leading up towards the sky to "feel right" in certain sequences.. sometimes including muscles in my legs and neck.. hehe


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OfflineLocus
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: ld50negative1]
    #2906910 - 07/20/04 12:39 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

dude, everybody does not do that


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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OfflineLocus
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: ld50negative1]
    #2906920 - 07/20/04 12:41 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

i do that leading up to the sky shit though with muscles and body parts or whatever also haha, maybe it's not the same but it's like that, yeah that's some ocd stuff right there


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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Offlineld50negative1
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: Locus]
    #2906921 - 07/20/04 12:42 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

no im just saying that its a quarky thing.. not that everyone does it


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2906948 - 07/20/04 12:54 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I get really bored at night. During the day, when I have plenty to do, I don't think about anything and I race through my day. But at night, when things slow down and all there is left to do is paperwork and shit, my mind gets bored, and I hate being alone. I would rather be distracted with other stuff.

I think someone hit it right, that this place seems to have a lot of people that have ADHD. Have you ever been diagnosed with that? I realize that there are other disorders, or maybe it's no disorder at all. Maybe you're just bored.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Offlined33p
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: Frog]
    #2906984 - 07/20/04 01:06 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Well i dislike going to doctors and getting prescribed anything. I like to keep my mental health record crystal clear.

I do have a great deal of trouble focusing. I barely read anymore which i onced loved. When i read books when i start a paragraph i begin thinking about something else while still reading. I will go through half a page like this and then realize and have to re read. This happens every other page or so. Although it never really happens when reading off a computer.

I was never able to learn a second language because i could not pay attention. It was strange in school, i actually wanted to learn another language but i just couldn't. I also have the same troubles in math but i am very very good at math and science so i ended up teaching myself every year's math text starting in high school.

But learning and schooling is a whole different issue. I was never able to learn the way they taught. They called me gifted, but i just think they teach to slow.

I also feel everyone could use a medical dose of amp. Gosh i am such a good student on amps. The notes are so extensive and it really does make you hunger for information.


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I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends.

bang bang


Edited by d33p (07/20/04 01:29 AM)


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2907049 - 07/20/04 01:27 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

You don't have to go to a doctor.  I have studied ADHD quite a bit over the last 10 years.  4 of my 5 kids have it and I have it.  From what you wrote above, I would say most likely you have it.  Don't get a diagnosis.  Doesn't matter.

But you could go read about it and see how people handle it.  I'm still trying to figure that one out.  :grin:

ADDers are very undisciplined, usually due to an under-developed frontal lobe.  It's difficult for us to force ourselves to pay attention, to do what we need to do.  But we can do it. 

I remember when I was in college, and I had to study.  I would sit down to something I enjoyed first, because at least that got me sitting down.  Then, while I was still sitting, I would finish the thing I enjoyed and get started on the harder stuff, the stuff on which it was harder to concentrate.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Invisiblesir tripsalot
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2907234 - 07/20/04 02:33 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Sounds like Bi-polar disorder aka Manic derpression. Get your brain chemistry balanced with the right meds and live a happier life. Otherwise, enjoy things how they are cause this type a thing isn't fixed on pyschiatrists couch.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: sir tripsalot]
    #2907254 - 07/20/04 02:40 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

sir tripsalot, why do you think it sounds like bipolar disorder? I think it sounds like a bored ADDer. But I'm curious to know your reasoning.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Offlined33p
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: sir tripsalot]
    #2907290 - 07/20/04 02:50 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I've experienced both depression and mania in the past. I can assure it is not either of those occuring.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2907397 - 07/20/04 03:36 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

See, ADHD is on the same spectrum as the bipolar disorder and can mimic it.  It's a very difficult diagnosis to make.  But I just don't think that you sound bipolar, based on what you wrote.  But I am also not a doctor.  (Hear the disclaimer?  :grin: )

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar.  It's an easy misdiagnosis to make.  ADDers go up and down, too.  Holy shit, do they go up and down.

And none of it is a disorder, anyways.  I hate calling the way our brains work a "disorder".  Mostly, people with ADHD, bipolar, Asperger's, schizophrenia, autism, all of which are on the same continuum, are pretty fucking smart.  And much more interesting than "nondisordered" people. 

Most of my kids are "disordered".  :grin:  I'd rather have a bunch of disordered kids than a bunch of ordered kids.  Hmmmm. 

Well, anyways, I have been raising kids for 26 years.  They are all really fun.  They are so smart.  I don't know any more who is the parent and who is the kid.  One of my kids joined this forum.  You will all have to guess who it is.  :grin:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineUncleMike
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2907649 - 07/20/04 08:47 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

We are built to conquer the environmemt, solve problems, achieve goals, and we get no satisfaction or hapiness unless we have someone to share with.


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OfflineLocus
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: Frog]
    #2907698 - 07/20/04 09:34 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, I think people with some mental disorders can usually be very smart and interesting people with other special talents. I think what "lacks" in the mind in some areas is made up for in other areas. Or maybe it's what lacks that causes the greater aspects, I don't know. But many people with mental disorders have great creative or artistic minds, etc.


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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OfflineRenegade8
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2908363 - 07/20/04 02:13 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Like Frog said, sounds like a bored ADDer to me. Especially since you said amp helps you focus. It seems like everyone would benefit from a little speed, but a lot of people just feel speedy and weird on it, not focused.


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Invisiblesir tripsalot
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2910930 - 07/21/04 02:02 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I wasn't implying that this behaviour points to Manic depression, but MD's do weird things as well. My family members that are Bi-polar do strange things as well when they are off meds other than just Mania and Depression(reading the dictionary, stop wearing prescription glasses cause they think they dont need them and refuse to use a computer altogether. Just to name a few) .


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OfflineKremlin
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2911005 - 07/21/04 02:23 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

It has become nearly unbearable to be alone. I just cannot manage it anymore. When I'm alone nothing will spark my interest.




I would say clin. depression based soley on that. Obsessing about what to do would logically follow if you cannot stand to be alone, or at least i'd think so.

One of the hallmark signs of clinical depression is loss of interest/pleasure in activities.

Correct me if you are not feeling down, that was just the impression that i got from your post.

--Krem


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"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
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Offlined33p
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: Kremlin]
    #2912894 - 07/21/04 05:58 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kremlin said:
I would say clin. depression based soley on that. Obsessing about what to do would logically follow if you cannot stand to be alone, or at least i'd think so.

One of the hallmark signs of clinical depression is loss of interest/pleasure in activities.

Correct me if you are not feeling down, that was just the impression that i got from your post.

--Krem




The feelings i get are nothing similar to depression. Also it only occurs while alone. I feel great around people.


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OfflineKremlin
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2912919 - 07/21/04 06:10 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Well happy to have been corrected then :smile:

Boredom is a socially learned phenomenon, i believe at least.  I really doubt that if we didnt have all these distractions around that we would be "bored" ever.

Take up your qualm with society :smile:


--------------------
"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
--Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"

"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."
-George Gissing

"Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread."
--Fyodor Dostoevsky


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OfflineBlue_Apocalypse
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2917450 - 07/22/04 09:50 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

How about this one...I feel so good and comfortable when im alone that i will often avoid social interaction altogether. Is it..

1. Social Anxiety Disorder
2. Seasonal Affective Disorder
3. Sudden Asshole Disease
4. "other" SAD acronym


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Invisiblesynthesis
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2925138 - 07/25/04 03:38 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

d33p said:
Well i dislike going to doctors and getting prescribed anything. I like to keep my mental health record crystal clear.

I do have a great deal of trouble focusing. I barely read anymore which i onced loved. When i read books when i start a paragraph i begin thinking about something else while still reading. I will go through half a page like this and then realize and have to re read. This happens every other page or so. Although it never really happens when reading off a computer.

I was never able to learn a second language because i could not pay attention. It was strange in school, i actually wanted to learn another language but i just couldn't. I also have the same troubles in math but i am very very good at math and science so i ended up teaching myself every year's math text starting in high school.

But learning and schooling is a whole different issue. I was never able to learn the way they taught. They called me gifted, but i just think they teach to slow.

I also feel everyone could use a medical dose of amp. Gosh i am such a good student on amps. The notes are so extensive and it really does make you hunger for information.




you're definitely not alone man, everything you just described sounds exactly like the way i am. i was in GT classes also, but had a real problem paying attention in class (constantly daydreaming or doodling). i tried ritalin when i was younger but hated the way it made me feel. it sucks being this way :frown:


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InvisibleLe_Canard
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2925315 - 07/25/04 05:03 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Odd - I seem to have the opposite disorder (Bipolarism amongst others :grin:) Being around people seems to disturb me after a while, and I must get away by myself. I'm not anti-social or unfriendly (or at least I don't try to be) but I just can't be around people (especially large groups) for any length of time.


Edited by Le_Canard (07/25/04 05:12 AM)


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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: Le_Canard]
    #2925330 - 07/25/04 05:14 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

i am similar but also opposite in some ways
i think the same thing over and over often and have trouble paying attention to anything and sometimes it annoys me
however i dont like being around lots of people, and i almost never get bored


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OfflineViaggio
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2930594 - 07/27/04 01:02 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I don't think you have ADD or ADHD.  I think it's quite the opposite:  anxiety.  Anxiety is a result of dopamine levels being higher than usual.  This can result in worrying, boredom, OCD behavior (I was the same way with RPGs back in highschool), and it can also progress into paranoia when left untreated.  I wouldn't be surprised if you also suffer from frequent headaches.  Higher dopamine levels usually means higher blood pressure.

Anyway, if you refuse to seek out meds to correct this imbalance, then the only two things I'd do in your shoes would be to stop smoking herb (a dopamine agonist) and to better my mental health by exercising daily.  But popping a zoloft daily would be much easier.

Hope this helps :smile:


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OfflineLiquid_Dimension
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2930732 - 07/27/04 01:35 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

I have ADD as well and currently stopped smoking bud for a long time.It just got to the point where I got paranoid and really unmotivated.Anyway,I agree that people with ADD shouldnt be looked upon as having a disorder.I guess some people just don't know shit,I'm glad My girlfriend truly loves me for the way I am,she thinks I'm extremely Interesting :smile:


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OfflineRenegade8
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: Liquid_Dimension]
    #2931938 - 07/27/04 11:40 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, some people just don't know shit.  Having ADD is cool once you get used to all the odd shit your brain does.  I like being a little fucked in the head and different. :crazy2:  As far as pot and ADD, it depends on the person - it helps some people, but makes it worse for others.


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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: d33p]
    #2934015 - 07/27/04 09:29 PM (17 years, 4 months ago)

the boredom i face turns into me asking myself mentally over and over "What am i going to do?" I have to plan the next day over and over in my mind even if i have nothing planned. It got to such a bad degree that i would sit in front of this computer for hours asking myself that question over and over. It felt so odd, i didnt want to ask myself that question but i just could not stop.

Neurosis is characterized by the excessive use of energy for unproductive purposes so that personal growth is hindered or stopped.

Neurosis can be caused by many things and can be exhibited in many more ways -- some of which are more disguised under other psychological phenomena than others.

There is nothing wrong with seeking psychiatrical and professional guidance. Everybody, one way or another, can always use a little help here and there.

Best wishes.


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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: d33p]
    #2934737 - 07/28/04 12:38 AM (17 years, 4 months ago)

i kinda have this shit where i can't not be around people either. like i'll wonder what THEY are doing and I'm missing out on the fun. but i have great people around me so its not horribly hard. plus smoking pot, a little bit, will keep me company. but too much makes the craving for conversation even worse. lol. i live off the phone sometimes.

but i haven't ever heard of someone sitting there and asking themselves what to do for hours on end. i hate the day time. its too short, its too long. the night is my peak hours, when i can do whatever the fuck i want and enjoy it.


--------------------
"If you worried about falling off the bike, you would never get on."
Lance Armstrong



Edited by PuZuZu (07/28/04 12:40 AM)


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Offlinethelion
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: sir tripsalot]
    #3101975 - 09/07/04 05:03 AM (17 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Poster: sir tripsalot
Subject: Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like"

I wasn't implying that this behaviour points to Manic depression, but MD's do weird things as well. My family members that are Bi-polar do strange things as well when they are off meds other than just Mania and Depression(reading the dictionary, stop wearing prescription glasses cause they think they dont need them and refuse to use a computer altogether. Just to name a few) .
I wasn't implying that this behaviour points to Manic depression, but MD's do weird things as well. My family members that are Bi-polar do strange things as well when they are off meds other than just Mania and Depression(reading the dictionary, stop wearing prescription glasses cause they think they dont need them and refuse to use a computer altogether. Just to name a few).




I still dont really understand what the point of your post is though.

Seriously though one does not need meds to feel fine. Everyone is different. Just because your family member have some problems with bi-polar disorder and do wierd things does not mean that you need to take meds nor does it mean that somone should be giving any advice about the subject.


Edited by thelion (09/07/04 05:15 AM)


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Offlinethelion
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thread [Re: Viaggio]
    #3102006 - 09/07/04 05:35 AM (17 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

I don't think you have ADD or ADHD. I think it's quite the opposite: anxiety. Anxiety is a result of dopamine levels being higher than usual. This can result in worrying, boredom, OCD behavior (I was the same way with RPGs back in highschool), and it can also progress into paranoia when left untreated.





What do you mean by RPG's?


Quote:

Anyway, if you refuse to seek out meds to correct this imbalance, then the only two things I'd do in your shoes would be to stop smoking herb (a dopamine agonist) and to better my mental health by exercising daily. But popping a zoloft daily would be much easier.




Agreed. Stop drinking and Stop the marijuana. It will only make things worse. You need to clear your head out by doing things that are good for your brain. Exercise. Take your bike out at sunrise and ride. Take to the beach. Go for a walk in the moonlight. Get out and let your brain get some breathing air. Let your brain circulate. You may fall into a deeper or deep heavy depression or just deep depressing thoughts. But this is a good thing. At this point you need to let that happen. It is normal. Just sit back and try to relax. Try to find out what is fun for you. Try to find things that interest you, but don't feel like you have to unless its imperitive. Just let those thoughts go through you. Eventually you'll be better for it.


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Offlinethelion
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: PuZuZu]
    #3102019 - 09/07/04 05:50 AM (17 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

i kinda have this shit where i can't not be around people either. like i'll wonder what THEY are doing and I'm missing out on the fun. but i have great people around me so its not horribly hard. plus smoking pot, a little bit, will keep me company. but too much makes the craving for conversation even worse. lol. i live off the phone sometimes.





I hear you man. The whole thing. Especially the part about wanting to talk with somone.

Quote:

but i haven't ever heard of someone sitting there and asking themselves what to do for hours on end. i hate the day time. its too short, its too long. the night is my peak hours, when i can do whatever the fuck i want and enjoy it.




The night is a great place for freedom when you feel like being alone!


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Invisiblesir tripsalot
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Registered: 07/10/99
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: thelion]
    #3102919 - 09/07/04 01:15 PM (17 years, 3 months ago)

Guess what? You don't know anything about my family or any of their disorders. So feel free to quit talking out of your ass. Yes, there are TONS of people who feel bad and can overcome it without the use of meds. What's your point? Effective medicines are just that, effective.
I see far too much "ah man, don't worry it's all good. We all do that occaisonally:" when somebody starts describing bread and butter signs of a mental illness. Denying somebody good advice like seeing a pyschiatrist and getting help is much worse.


We have somebody asking for help and you are telling then to sit tight(people who are seeking help are past that) and go for a bike ride at sunrise? Please.


--------------------

"Little racoons and old possums 'n' stuff all live up in here. They've got to have a little place to sit." Bob Ross.


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OfflineZeroArmy27
I didn't go to work for a month.

Registered: 09/01/04
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Re: The "What mental disorder does this most sound like" Thr [Re: sir tripsalot]
    #3103109 - 09/07/04 02:16 PM (17 years, 3 months ago)

Thelion, do you not realize that having a family history of a mental disorder increases your chances of having that yourself? My uncle had bipolar disorder, as well as I do. I've found ways to live my life that don't circle around taking pills every day, seeing as they turned me into a different person.

Talking to a medical professional doesn't always help. It hurt me more than it helped, until I asked the right person. My family doctor just wanted to give me pills (something he never does...), and they made my head even worse.

I suggest talking to a psychiatrist. It can be expensive, though. Either way, try to figure things out for yourself. Try taking walks when it's bright outside. Ride your bike. Paint your room a brighter color (this one actually helped me alot, I went from black to baby blue), just try something.


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