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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Why does my dad suck?
    #2715244 - 05/22/04 06:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Okay here's a little bit of Del's history before I get into this: Dad left at 3 yrs old, Dad saw me once a week, Dad then started seeing me once a month, now i'm lucky if I can catch him a few times a year. He is renting out a place to me (he does real estate on the side) and acts more like a landlord than a dad to me. Still owes child support but tells my mom he's tight on cash - then goes out an buys a BMW and a new boat. You get the idea... he says he loves me and tells me he would help me out with anything. He never shows it.

Today I was driving to my place from work - I happen to just pass by my dad. He goes to my place once in a while to collect rent and maintainence. So I pull over and he comes out of the car. We talk and he says "Oh you gotta see this... come out!" so I walk to his car and see his girlfriend. In her hands is this little pug puppy. Adorable! But see here's the deal - my dad is telling me how he let it run around the house and blah blah blah and how cute it is yada yada yada and how it shit, pissed and puked in the boat but that's "what dogs do"... now keep all this in mind...

let's rewind about 4 months ago. I moved out of my mom's house and on my own. I was lonely and lived with a dog all my life but she is old and was better off staying with my mom. So my mom and I did a lot of research and I really liked the Border Collie breed. We just so happened to go into a petshop and find the most beautiful and sweet border collie. I put a $100 non-refundable deposit on her and was going to pick her up 2 days later.

I tell this to my dad - "Oh absolutely not. I don't want a dog in the house. You don't want one." (he loves telling me what I do and don't want). Well after many phone calls and crying - I lost my $100 deposit and "Chloe" (my puppy).

Now he have the NERVE to rub this little shit in my face. Not only did he let it run around my place, and let it shit up his boat, but while he still owes child support - he BOUGHT the fucking thing for his girlfriend too!!!!

Okay so we went out on the boat with the dog. It was nice - I enjoy boating and all. We had plans to hang out tomorrow (Sunday) so I still figured those were still on. I enjoy being iwth my dad... even when he hurts me sometimes. It's a weird complex. I enjoy just being around him - watching tv with him - going to dinner - anything. I don't need to be entertained.

So when I was about to leave I said "okay dad so I'll see you tomorrow?" and he was like "No, we saw each other today".

What the fuck is that?!? I am leaving NY for 3 months starting next Saturday. So I ask him if I'll see him before I leave and he says "Ya maybe sometime during this week... i dunno".

My dad is such a fuckup. I hate how he treats me. And anytime that I have mentioned to him how I feel - HE LAUGHS at me and tells me I shouldn't feel like that. Well fuck that - i DO feel like that.

:frown:

sometimes I think that it would have been better if i never saw my dad bc it wouldn't be like rubbing salt into the wound.


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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Invisiblewandrnshaman
old hand
Registered: 09/21/03
Posts: 1,196
Loc: Pinellas Co, FL
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715267 - 05/22/04 06:36 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

But he's still your dad so it must be hard not to see him. he's been around a while.

You're right, he IS a fuck up. He'll understand that after you're gone.

That's messed up about the dog though. he should want you to have one! maybe tell him off? Think about how mad he makes you & just yell at him


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,363
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715313 - 05/22/04 06:50 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I'm sorry, Delyrium.  :heart:  Maybe one day your day will pull off those blinders of his and see how he hurts you.


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Offlinexjessesxgirlx
present

Registered: 01/14/04
Posts: 3,287
Loc: inside
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715341 - 05/22/04 07:00 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

sry to hear that [specially about the dog!] :sad: my dads a total fuckup too if that helps.. =p

I dunno. sometimes they just dont make any sense. eh


--------------------
You know Rents, for a vegetarian, you're a mean shot.


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OfflineYouEnjoyMyself
PHiSH

Registered: 03/01/03
Posts: 8,127
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715345 - 05/22/04 07:01 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

that sucks...me and my dad go through a lot of rough times and then we will be cool...it's weird, and i wana just leave him and not talk to him but it's hard...and me and him have been cool for awhile and havent gotten in any fights.(when we get in fights they are nasty, we argue so hard and it lasts for days).  But i'm at his house right now and we got a bunch of steaks but i told him i wasn't gonna be hear for dinner but then my plans got messed up and told him i was gonna be here and so we went out and he got me a steak and some other stuff...i'm excited for dinner...i big ol' steak...

but that sucks with your dad. 

don't worry, be happy  :grin:


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze


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Anonymous

Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715510 - 05/22/04 07:53 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

My sister went threw that sort of situation with my father I didnt his leaving didnt faze me. You are born to your parents for a reason. May not be clear yet, but it will be for the better.


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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715534 - 05/22/04 07:58 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Sorry to hear that Del.........seems that your dad is very into himself , but he's still your dad....you should tell him how you feel.


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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InvisibleOldSpice
Geritol Breath...
Female User Gallery

Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 59,080
Loc: Crankytown, Texas
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715582 - 05/22/04 08:08 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Just talk it out ...


--------------------
So hard to be ....WDWGFH?
Texas is humongus compared to France
Our Gair, who art in Texas,
Paw Paw be thy Name....
My friends are thirsty


You never see a motorcycle parked outside a Psychiatrist office:biker:


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OfflineOddish
Bulbasaur!
Male

Registered: 04/12/03
Posts: 327
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715607 - 05/22/04 08:14 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, my real father beat my mom and stuff when I was just an infant and did a bunch of drugs and other stuff like that. My mom came running back to my grandparents and they helped raise me. My grandfather and uncle have been the main father figures in my life and I'm perfectly okay with that. I haven't seen my real dad since I was five, and I don't really want to.

I hope you have the chance to work everything out with your father. Good luck!

:heart:


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Anonymous

Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715660 - 05/22/04 08:27 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Oh and you can barrow my puppies any time ya like.



please, I beg you.


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Anonymous

Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715816 - 05/22/04 09:15 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

i very sorry to hear that, if you don't want to spend time with your kids you shouldn't have had them  :sad:


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Invisibledjfrog
omgws!!!1!

Registered: 10/23/00
Posts: 3,710
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715823 - 05/22/04 09:17 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Chicks make guys irrational. He probably doesn't realize about how he was inconsistent with the whole dog thing. But there's a difference between having a dog run around a place for awhile while they are watched versus actually locking a dog up in an apartment or house. I dunno I figure being in NY, where ever you live is probably not big enough for a dog to live and be happy. With that difference its not the inconsistent of him really, though a bit insensitive.


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Anonymous

Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2715922 - 05/22/04 09:43 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

And dont forget you are only going to live there for a short time. Can you take care of it up in Vt? But he is also worried about the normal puppy things and belive me thats a lot of doo doo and gallons of piss getting dumped on the floor that some one else will be wanting to live on. The smell of puppy dosnt disperse so quickly


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Offlinestefan
work in progress

Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 10 days, 16 hours
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2717396 - 05/23/04 04:51 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

my parents (yes both) suck too. don't want to get into details.

Quote:

let's rewind about 4 months ago. I moved out of my mom's house and on my own. I was lonely and lived with a dog all my life but she is old and was better off staying with my mom. So my mom and I did a lot of research and I really liked the Border Collie breed. We just so happened to go into a petshop and find the most beautiful and sweet border collie. I put a $100 non-refundable deposit on her and was going to pick her up 2 days later.

I tell this to my dad - "Oh absolutely not. I don't want a dog in the house. You don't want one." (he loves telling me what I do and don't want). Well after many phone calls and crying - I lost my $100 deposit and "Chloe" (my puppy).

Now he have the NERVE to rub this little shit in my face. Not only did he let it run around my place, and let it shit up his boat, but while he still owes child support - he BOUGHT the fucking thing for his girlfriend too!!!!




pretty much the same here, my father was pretty cool but with this girlfriend he completely changed like your dad. It sucks!

Quote:

  Maybe one day your day will pull off those blinders of his and see how he hurts you.




That's what I'm hoping too, but I don't see this happening anytime soon. I feel kinda sad for him too because he just doesn't realize what he has ruined.

good luck and  :heart: to you Del


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2717516 - 05/23/04 06:51 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Your dad sounds like a real fucktard. Not a nice guy at all.
I don't know your relationship like you do, but just because he's blood, dosen't mean you gotta like, love, or even asociate with him. This guy never was a "father" to you, save the insimination of your mom.
I say, tell him he's a worthless person, and move out of his house. But thats just me. Mabey its not as bad as you made it sound.
sorry to hear about all that. It sounds pretty rouph


--------------------


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InvisibleSixCee
keep rolling
Male

Registered: 06/12/02
Posts: 3,720
Loc: US, Chicago
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2718218 - 05/23/04 02:22 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Did you ever let your dad know how you feel?


--------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-->The above statements may or not be true.
->Quote of the Moment :
"Yea. All bitches are whores who love sex." -Cubie
----> PMs checked daily.


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2718375 - 05/23/04 03:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Your dad is selfish/self centered. If i were pissed offf... i wouldnt hold back telling him how i felt :wink: . I know this from experience. My dad left when i was 3, saw me sometimes, till it fazed out. He got remarried and never even told me. There are others who know what you are going through. Tell him, it might be better for the both of you.


--------------------
What?


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OfflineFreshCaps
Nor-Cal

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 740
Loc: The Cannabis State
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: Delyrium]
    #2718631 - 05/23/04 04:04 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I can relate, my dad is a fuck up also. He never paid child support, he cheated on my mom, a lot, he would buy me stuff and he would be like "I love you" and a whole list of stuff. So my dad lives in Florida, and I live in Michigan, and we probably won't ever see each other again. But then there's this urge to see him just because he's my dad. Well off subject, but I know how you feel. Just tell him how he makes you feel. It's worth a shot.


--------------------
THE BEST ASS:




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OfflineYouEnjoyMyself
PHiSH

Registered: 03/01/03
Posts: 8,127
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: FreshCaps]
    #2718691 - 05/23/04 04:19 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

yeah, tell him how you feel about everything and how it acts about it and what he does while show you how much or if he cares about you...it sucks.


--------------------
-Wash uffitze drive me to firenze


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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Re: Why does my dad suck? [Re: YouEnjoyMyself]
    #2721718 - 05/24/04 08:43 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

thanks everyone.

djfrog - it's not really about me having the dog anymore - it's more about how he rubbed it in my face. where i'm moving to - i probably can get a dog (i can also bring one to work) but i most likely won't. i just hated the fact that he didn't take a minute to think about how i was hurt from the whole situation.

another funny thing about my dad - he's spiteful. i remember last Father's Day I was not happy with him (not to mention - broke) and so I didn't buy him a Father's Day gift. Plus - how many fuckin Fisherman hats and mugs does 1 guy really need?

well after that - my mom asked him if he could help out with some college books that i needed and he said "Why should I help her - she didn't even buy me a father's day gift!"

Does he really believe he deserves even the slightest bit of recognition on Father's Day!?

I tried talking to my dad. All my life I've built up a defense system because of him. Anytime I would be hurt or upset - he'd laugh it off and tell me "You aren't *insert emotion here*". That's what I grew up with.

When I broke my wrist snowboarding about 4 years ago - he laughed and told me to suck it up. After a few more runs down the mountain and a few more jams to the wrist - I burst into tears begging him to get me help b/c i couldn't make it down the mountain. He still continued to tell me how it wasn't that bad and to just deal with it. And I did.

Just this February I got into a bad accident on the mountain. That day my friend and I went to the mountain and met up with my dad and his girlfriend. My dad skiied with us a little bit and his girlfriend just drank in the bar. After a few runs my dad went to the bar. I was with my friend - got into a pretty bad accident b/c some kid decided to just ram right into me.

That time I still had the "I'm not hurt" mentality that my dad gave me. So I kept riding until I became dizzy and felt like I was gonna pass out. I layed my head in some snow and felt better. Then I noticed my left hand glove getting really tight. I took off my glove to see my hand was about 5 times it's normal size.

It kept hurting until I burst into tears on the lift with my friend. She freaked on me (she knows how I keep these things secret until it kills).

We went back to the lodge and I told my dad. He ordered us some food and I still tried to suck it up. My hand got worse.

After lunch I told my dad I thought it was broken and I was going to go to the Medical center. He told me that him and his girlfriend were going to head out and go back home.

There's something wrong here. i thought my HAND WAS BROKEN. He knew I was going to seek medical help - and so he just LEAVES ME?? Knowing that I'd have to travel to a local hospital if it was!! Yep... he just left me. Didn't offer any money to cover fees or anything. Not even "I hope you feel better" or "call me if you need anything". Just straight up left me.

I ended up going to the Medical Center and having this huge cast thingy put on. Thankfully my friend drove us there that day. I went to the hospital and had a concussion and something wrong with my hand (they couldn't figure it out - ugh).

But who fucking does that and deserves to be called a dad???


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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