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What is an incel? can you stop being one? how?
    #26087257 -

I have been struggling with some anti-feminism propaganda for a long time. The incel movement lately.

A pair of its key points (hypergamy and female priviledge) hits me hard because my life experiences.

Another key, is that it isn't their responsability for not finding a suitable partner falls into the opposite gender (they consider themselves suitable) with i disagree with.


How do you deal with those ideas?
Are they really involuntary? are they just a misantrophe/mysoginist group?
Do you think there are redemption from toxic thinking/feeling?.

How do you deal with "dry spells"?
How do you deal with nobody finding you suitable for love?

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087264 -

Are you seriously a male feminist?

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087308 -

Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure] * 5
    #26087343 -

Theres definitely redemption from their toxic thinking. The problem, in my eyes, is they spend so much time thinking about things from their own perspective they never really step outside themselves and try to have empathy.

I tend to agree with some of their feelings about Chads and how women are naturally drawn to them, and then later in life they settle down with a "nice guy(TM)"

But they take that to mean that men are divided into US and THEM. US is incels, THEM is men who don't have trouble with women. Which is just ignorant and lazy thinking. They also never really think hard about what they are attracted to in women and how many parallels there are between genders and finding suitable mates. Like how chubby men can pretty much get any girl they want if they are appealing/successful enough, but no matter what chubby girls have troubles and constant judgement from society.

Really IMO it comes down to attitude. It's a vicious cycle, their misogynist thoughts subconsciously make them have bad body language and poor self-esteem, which turns women off, which makes them more angry. Treating mental illness and learning empathy can go a LONG way.

If you want to see a lengthy explanation, go on YouTube and search "ContraPoints Incels." She does a really good job showing how they are mostly just sad and angry people who think it's ok to create a philosophy based around sadness and anger. It's where I learned most of what I know about them and how terrible it really is

As far as dry spells, just don't make it anyone else's fault but your own. Ugly losers get super great girls all the time because they know how to talk to them and treat them well. Ever hear the theory that right when you get a girlfriend suddenly every girl flirts with you? Well it's true, that confidence and not giving a fuck is appealing. When I completely gave up I found a really cool chick, and after that I noticed women checking me out all the time. But incels say they have given up, when in reality they just become bitter and assume that because the system is rigged against them they are doomed. Which is the opposite of not giving a fuck.


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087395 -

living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.


You said that you're struggling with anti feminist propaganda. What is that?

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087407 -

Ajgleskorv said:
living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.


You said that you're struggling with anti feminist propaganda. What is that?


Mainly. mgtow, mra and incel movements, specially pol and r9k anticulture boards.
Anti femminism as a "we should fight back" idea.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087491 -

Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087556 -

Ajgleskorv said:
feminism is cancer.


only when it's contrived and convoluted

oops, i swear i didnt mean to say cunt lol

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087573 -

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel



also, from reading some of the descriptions here it just seems like an aspect of toxic masculinity in that these people somehow feel owed sex for some reason. they seem to place an over-emphasis on sex and thinking that girls are meant to "serve" them in some way. when the respectful way of engaging that approach is if you can find a partner who is agreeable in sharing this type of view for a relationship


idk tho, girls are complicated lol

:shrug:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087578 -

living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.


You said that you're struggling with anti feminist propaganda. What is that?


Mainly. mgtow, mra and incel movements, specially pol and r9k anticulture boards.
Anti femminism as a "we should fight back" idea.


When you think of the few thousand who spend their whole day posting in those places, compared to the close to 400 million people in this country, it's a lot easier to ignore it all entirely. Especially when you factor in the influence of russian troll farms. Stupid and sick people will be drawn to stupid and sick things, many grow out of it and others never do.

Looking at it biologically, a woman has sex and she might be forced to carry a child for 9 months, risk death giving birth, then be stuck with her offspring for years. A man can simply have sex and move on. Women are going to be more selective, and have a much bigger pool to chose from when they want to have sex. There are many ways to make yourself stick out in the herd and be desirable, if an incel used all the time they spent browsing 4chan on actual self-development, they may realize the world is much different than they thought.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087590 -

I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e


--------------------

Edited by yeah (07/03/19 06:59 AM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087651 -

Ajgleskorv said:
Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.


I think we found an incel


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26087658 -

yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26087687 -

I almost fall in the incel profile.
I believe women have sexual hypergamy in a similar level men have polygamy.

But i take the blame on myself.
Even if i am the one who is to be blamed, i have not yet found a way to fix this situation, no amount of gym, sports and intellectualism fixed it in the slightest.

Some of us, are unlovables.


Probably, the incel mania is a healthier approach, considering others the cause of their calvary they avoid the depression trap.

Maybe, the need for love, human contact and affection is an illness, a wordborne illness carried for those who can get love. Maybe we are born with that necessity.


I am a fresh single, so maybe this is just a grief phase.


Also, femminism suck. There is no patriarchy.
A movement who fights for women without the idea of patriarchy is needed

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26087703 -

Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.


It's hard not to, but I'm not about to go on tinder and say "swipe left if u ugly" in my profile.


--------------------

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26087951 -

yeah said:
Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.


It's hard not to, but I'm not about to go on tinder and say "swipe left if u ugly" in my profile.


Yeah well that's you. Have you ever spent as much time pretending to be a woman and seeing what guys profiles are like? Also the messages women get? Tindr is cancer, of course the worst women are attracted to it. I'm on OKCupid and I've never seen a woman say that. The worst I've seen as far as physical appearance is "Want a man who takes care of himself" and "He needs to be taller than me." If anything women are too picky about his personality, like their profile is just a laundry list of shit they need and shit they hate. An easy left swipe for me


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26088018 -

bloodsheen said:
yeah said:
Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.


It's hard not to, but I'm not about to go on tinder and say "swipe left if u ugly" in my profile.


Yeah well that's you. Have you ever spent as much time pretending to be a woman and seeing what guys profiles are like? Also the messages women get? Tindr is cancer, of course the worst women are attracted to it. I'm on OKCupid and I've never seen a woman say that. The worst I've seen as far as physical appearance is "Want a man who takes care of himself" and "He needs to be taller than me." If anything women are too picky about his personality, like their profile is just a laundry list of shit they need and shit they hate. An easy left swipe for me



Would you recommend okcupid, meetic etc... to a man without facebook and that doesn't like to drink socially? (less even to party)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26088037 -

living_failure said:
I almost fall in the incel profile.
I believe women have sexual hypergamy in a similar level men have polygamy.

But i take the blame on myself.
Even if i am the one who is to be blamed, i have not yet found a way to fix this situation, no amount of gym, sports and intellectualism fixed it in the slightest.

Some of us, are unlovables.


Probably, the incel mania is a healthier approach, considering others the cause of their calvary they avoid the depression trap.

Maybe, the need for love, human contact and affection is an illness, a wordborne illness carried for those who can get love. Maybe we are born with that necessity.


I am a fresh single, so maybe this is just a grief phase.


Also, femminism suck. There is no patriarchy.
A movement who fights for women without the idea of patriarchy is needed



imo people should blame the social conditioning that comes as a result of various marketing ploys, ie. valentine's day is basically just a day for couples to brag and show off that they aren't alone while it's jokingly referred to as "singles awareness day" (aka SAD) for everyone else.

people subconsiously play this game with sex as well, like it's only this "privileged" demographic of people that can actually get laid, an exclusive clique which is largely based on the flaunting of ego. both genders engage in this aspect too.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: DontFearThePeepr]
    #26088076 -

Yeah. social status might play a huge role.

People like to compare and to win. they detest to lose. their self esteem is based on the sensation of victory, it can be acomplishements or physical possesions or perception of potential.

Still. Some people feel the need of approval. Some people need to care and to help. Others seek to be cared.

That is what ignites my mental agitation. What is the origin of that necessity? Can it be removed?. 

However, i agree. It makes sense that incels try to fight to retain the social status they believe are losing.

Edited by living_failure (07/03/19 12:19 PM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure] * 1
    #26088166 -

you're right, part of that is driven by the reward mechanism we have hardwired into our head. it's called the "executive drive," fulfilling any task or meeting any goal will satisfy this mechanism.

it works doubly so when it comes to things like sex and drugs, since those actions themselves also invoke a dopamine influx in the brain. that dopamine boost is the key to the reward mechanism, understanding this is part of the first step to breaking out of its traps.

i'd also prob recommend try reading some philosophy to both take your mind off of things and to also give you some other ideas of how to keep your mind off those things.

one other key aspect to understand is about realm dynamics, notice how it seems the more we want something the harder it is to get. learn to suspend your desires, this will be important to be able to find true happiness. either by yourself or with someone else. the trick is to try to learn to be happy either way.



you can def find ways to do this  :grin:

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