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What is an incel? can you stop being one? how?
    #26087257 -

I have been struggling with some anti-feminism propaganda for a long time. The incel movement lately.

A pair of its key points (hypergamy and female priviledge) hits me hard because my life experiences.

Another key, is that it isn't their responsability for not finding a suitable partner falls into the opposite gender (they consider themselves suitable) with i disagree with.


How do you deal with those ideas?
Are they really involuntary? are they just a misantrophe/mysoginist group?
Do you think there are redemption from toxic thinking/feeling?.

How do you deal with "dry spells"?
How do you deal with nobody finding you suitable for love?

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087264 -

Are you seriously a male feminist?

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087308 -

Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure] * 5
    #26087343 -

Theres definitely redemption from their toxic thinking. The problem, in my eyes, is they spend so much time thinking about things from their own perspective they never really step outside themselves and try to have empathy.

I tend to agree with some of their feelings about Chads and how women are naturally drawn to them, and then later in life they settle down with a "nice guy(TM)"

But they take that to mean that men are divided into US and THEM. US is incels, THEM is men who don't have trouble with women. Which is just ignorant and lazy thinking. They also never really think hard about what they are attracted to in women and how many parallels there are between genders and finding suitable mates. Like how chubby men can pretty much get any girl they want if they are appealing/successful enough, but no matter what chubby girls have troubles and constant judgement from society.

Really IMO it comes down to attitude. It's a vicious cycle, their misogynist thoughts subconsciously make them have bad body language and poor self-esteem, which turns women off, which makes them more angry. Treating mental illness and learning empathy can go a LONG way.

If you want to see a lengthy explanation, go on YouTube and search "ContraPoints Incels." She does a really good job showing how they are mostly just sad and angry people who think it's ok to create a philosophy based around sadness and anger. It's where I learned most of what I know about them and how terrible it really is

As far as dry spells, just don't make it anyone else's fault but your own. Ugly losers get super great girls all the time because they know how to talk to them and treat them well. Ever hear the theory that right when you get a girlfriend suddenly every girl flirts with you? Well it's true, that confidence and not giving a fuck is appealing. When I completely gave up I found a really cool chick, and after that I noticed women checking me out all the time. But incels say they have given up, when in reality they just become bitter and assume that because the system is rigged against them they are doomed. Which is the opposite of not giving a fuck.


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087395 -

living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.


You said that you're struggling with anti feminist propaganda. What is that?

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087407 -

Ajgleskorv said:
living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.


You said that you're struggling with anti feminist propaganda. What is that?


Mainly. mgtow, mra and incel movements, specially pol and r9k anticulture boards.
Anti femminism as a "we should fight back" idea.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087491 -

Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087556 -

Ajgleskorv said:
feminism is cancer.


only when it's contrived and convoluted

oops, i swear i didnt mean to say cunt lol

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087573 -

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel



also, from reading some of the descriptions here it just seems like an aspect of toxic masculinity in that these people somehow feel owed sex for some reason. they seem to place an over-emphasis on sex and thinking that girls are meant to "serve" them in some way. when the respectful way of engaging that approach is if you can find a partner who is agreeable in sharing this type of view for a relationship


idk tho, girls are complicated lol

:shrug:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087578 -

living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
living_failure said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Are you seriously a male feminist?


Since the idea of femminism is based on "patriarchy" no, i am not.


You said that you're struggling with anti feminist propaganda. What is that?


Mainly. mgtow, mra and incel movements, specially pol and r9k anticulture boards.
Anti femminism as a "we should fight back" idea.


When you think of the few thousand who spend their whole day posting in those places, compared to the close to 400 million people in this country, it's a lot easier to ignore it all entirely. Especially when you factor in the influence of russian troll farms. Stupid and sick people will be drawn to stupid and sick things, many grow out of it and others never do.

Looking at it biologically, a woman has sex and she might be forced to carry a child for 9 months, risk death giving birth, then be stuck with her offspring for years. A man can simply have sex and move on. Women are going to be more selective, and have a much bigger pool to chose from when they want to have sex. There are many ways to make yourself stick out in the herd and be desirable, if an incel used all the time they spent browsing 4chan on actual self-development, they may realize the world is much different than they thought.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26087590 -

I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e


--------------------

Edited by yeah (07/03/19 06:59 AM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26087651 -

Ajgleskorv said:
Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.


I think we found an incel


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26087658 -

yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26087687 -

I almost fall in the incel profile.
I believe women have sexual hypergamy in a similar level men have polygamy.

But i take the blame on myself.
Even if i am the one who is to be blamed, i have not yet found a way to fix this situation, no amount of gym, sports and intellectualism fixed it in the slightest.

Some of us, are unlovables.


Probably, the incel mania is a healthier approach, considering others the cause of their calvary they avoid the depression trap.

Maybe, the need for love, human contact and affection is an illness, a wordborne illness carried for those who can get love. Maybe we are born with that necessity.


I am a fresh single, so maybe this is just a grief phase.


Also, femminism suck. There is no patriarchy.
A movement who fights for women without the idea of patriarchy is needed

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26087703 -

Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.


It's hard not to, but I'm not about to go on tinder and say "swipe left if u ugly" in my profile.


--------------------

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26087951 -

yeah said:
Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.


It's hard not to, but I'm not about to go on tinder and say "swipe left if u ugly" in my profile.


Yeah well that's you. Have you ever spent as much time pretending to be a woman and seeing what guys profiles are like? Also the messages women get? Tindr is cancer, of course the worst women are attracted to it. I'm on OKCupid and I've never seen a woman say that. The worst I've seen as far as physical appearance is "Want a man who takes care of himself" and "He needs to be taller than me." If anything women are too picky about his personality, like their profile is just a laundry list of shit they need and shit they hate. An easy left swipe for me


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26088018 -

bloodsheen said:
yeah said:
Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I asked the same thing as you in this subforum and got immediately accused of being angry and putting off bad vibes lol so good luck with this thread

western women are kinda failing to meet their potential imo, like women can be this nurturing, guiding force for society but so many of them just want to go on social media to bash men for not being tall enough or w/e



Yeah cause men would never value a woman based upon her physical attractiveness.


It's hard not to, but I'm not about to go on tinder and say "swipe left if u ugly" in my profile.


Yeah well that's you. Have you ever spent as much time pretending to be a woman and seeing what guys profiles are like? Also the messages women get? Tindr is cancer, of course the worst women are attracted to it. I'm on OKCupid and I've never seen a woman say that. The worst I've seen as far as physical appearance is "Want a man who takes care of himself" and "He needs to be taller than me." If anything women are too picky about his personality, like their profile is just a laundry list of shit they need and shit they hate. An easy left swipe for me



Would you recommend okcupid, meetic etc... to a man without facebook and that doesn't like to drink socially? (less even to party)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26088037 -

living_failure said:
I almost fall in the incel profile.
I believe women have sexual hypergamy in a similar level men have polygamy.

But i take the blame on myself.
Even if i am the one who is to be blamed, i have not yet found a way to fix this situation, no amount of gym, sports and intellectualism fixed it in the slightest.

Some of us, are unlovables.


Probably, the incel mania is a healthier approach, considering others the cause of their calvary they avoid the depression trap.

Maybe, the need for love, human contact and affection is an illness, a wordborne illness carried for those who can get love. Maybe we are born with that necessity.


I am a fresh single, so maybe this is just a grief phase.


Also, femminism suck. There is no patriarchy.
A movement who fights for women without the idea of patriarchy is needed



imo people should blame the social conditioning that comes as a result of various marketing ploys, ie. valentine's day is basically just a day for couples to brag and show off that they aren't alone while it's jokingly referred to as "singles awareness day" (aka SAD) for everyone else.

people subconsiously play this game with sex as well, like it's only this "privileged" demographic of people that can actually get laid, an exclusive clique which is largely based on the flaunting of ego. both genders engage in this aspect too.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: DontFearThePeepr]
    #26088076 -

Yeah. social status might play a huge role.

People like to compare and to win. they detest to lose. their self esteem is based on the sensation of victory, it can be acomplishements or physical possesions or perception of potential.

Still. Some people feel the need of approval. Some people need to care and to help. Others seek to be cared.

That is what ignites my mental agitation. What is the origin of that necessity? Can it be removed?. 

However, i agree. It makes sense that incels try to fight to retain the social status they believe are losing.

Edited by living_failure (07/03/19 12:19 PM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure] * 1
    #26088166 -

you're right, part of that is driven by the reward mechanism we have hardwired into our head. it's called the "executive drive," fulfilling any task or meeting any goal will satisfy this mechanism.

it works doubly so when it comes to things like sex and drugs, since those actions themselves also invoke a dopamine influx in the brain. that dopamine boost is the key to the reward mechanism, understanding this is part of the first step to breaking out of its traps.

i'd also prob recommend try reading some philosophy to both take your mind off of things and to also give you some other ideas of how to keep your mind off those things.

one other key aspect to understand is about realm dynamics, notice how it seems the more we want something the harder it is to get. learn to suspend your desires, this will be important to be able to find true happiness. either by yourself or with someone else. the trick is to try to learn to be happy either way.



you can def find ways to do this  :grin:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: DontFearThePeepr]
    #26088294 -

INCEL means involuntarirly celibate, because no girl will want to have sex with you because of your attitude or being bad looking or both...

male feminists is not a good road if you want to havea fuckfest...

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26088320 -

OKCupid is by far the best one out there, but it's still bullshit online dating. If you can handle wasting a lot of time messaging girls already talking to like 4 other dudes, which ends up feeling a lot like rejection, it's decent. Plus I had like 5 iterations of my profile, learning the game is a pain in the ass and it's a lot of effort for little reward. But I met one girlfriend and two pretty cool potentials there, more than most Tindr experiences


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26088328 -

living_failure said:
Some of us, are unlovables.


Probably, the incel mania is a healthier approach, considering others the cause of their calvary they avoid the depression trap.

I am a fresh single, so maybe this is just a grief phase.


Also, femminism suck. There is no patriarchy.
A movement who fights for women without the idea of patriarchy is needed


No matter how loveable you are (and having just been in a relationship it appears you've been seen positively by someone), this belief will push people away.

Becoming an incel isn't healthier long term. They hate women, abdicate responsibility for directing their own lives, and make themselves much less attractive in the process, creating a self perpetuating cycle wherein they fail to realise they are single because they sound cunty not because women fail to see their superiority. Lacking a sense of personal responsibility and being entitled does not equate to superiority.

Feminism is simply striving to promote the same opportunities and outcomes in terms of wellbeing for men and women. Wouldn't you want your mother, sister, daughter to have this?

An eg from here, a bank realised women were paid less than men for same positions despite having the same skill level. This was occurring because their starting salary was based on their previous salary, which was asked about in interview. They stopped doing that and based salary on position and ability. More equal outcomes result.

Relationship grief can be fucking hard to get thorough. Sorry to hear you're in the mire atm.


--------------------
We're all mentally ill. We're all delusional. We're all junkies. It's just a matter of degree
(the Venerable Robina Curtin)

Anything I say here is a fiction, for role play or research only. Full of bollocks I am. I wouldn't believe me.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: koods]
    #26088377 -

koods said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.


I think we found an incel



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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26091028 -

Ajgleskorv said:
koods said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.


I think we found an incel






Please explain.


--------------------
We're all mentally ill. We're all delusional. We're all junkies. It's just a matter of degree
(the Venerable Robina Curtin)

Anything I say here is a fiction, for role play or research only. Full of bollocks I am. I wouldn't believe me.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Acuriousmycologist]
    #26091065 -

it takes one to know one? ...i guess? lol

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: DontFearThePeepr]
    #26091205 -

idk but to me when guys call other guys incel and post anti incel memes it just comes off as feminine to me

like bruh don't worry about that shit just leave it to women you have better things to focus on


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Acuriousmycologist]
    #26091222 -

Acuriousmycologist said:
Ajgleskorv said:
koods said:
Ajgleskorv said:
Don't really care about this, but feminism is cancer.


I think we found an incel






Please explain.


No matter how much you whiteknight, you will always be a dog.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Ajgleskorv]
    #26091252 -

lol not sure you can call it whiteknight if it's just insulting people, but then again the word is pretty much always used ironically in the first place.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure] * 1
    #26091479 -

It's rather complex, I believe. I lost my virginity at 26. I had a few opportunities prior but was always hung up on a girl/too nervous. By definition, I was in incel. I wasn't part of any incel groups or anything though. That being said, my views on sex are deeply rooted in biology (read the Red Queen by Matt Ridley).

Quote:
How do you deal with those ideas?


There is and always will be a female privilege. They are more valuable to our survival as a species (100 girls + 5 guys = 100 babies in 9 months. 100 guys + 5 girls = 5 babies in nine months). We're expendable and it's not a social construct, it's just evolutionary fact. As for hypergamy, I wouldn't say that's necessarily true. In fact, holding that belief inclines you towards being a controlling abuser. I'll also tell it straight. If a girl (or a guy) is so unfeeling that they'll trade up at the first chance they get, they're shitty people and possibly psychopaths.

Quote:
Are they really involuntary?

- It depends on your definition. I would easily call myself an incel through my early 20's. I did have opportunities but my fear of looking stupid/mixed emotions made it almost an impossibility for me at the time.
Quote:
are they just a misantrophe/mysoginist group?

- I'm not the most familiar so I can't really say. Honestly, though, it seemed more like male bonding than woman-hating.
Quote:
Do you think there are redemption from toxic thinking/feeling?

- Ideas are ideas. Actions are different. There is always redemption. I've held a lot of views that I didn't in the past. that's growing.
Quote:
How do you deal with "dry spells"?

- This drives me crazy. Maybe some of these dudes are just out her to get laid by strangers, but from what I've read, these folks are really concerned with relationships more than random hookups (hypergamy isn't an issue if you're looking for random sex).
Quote:
How do you deal with nobody finding you suitable for love?

- Biggest and most importantly, focus on yourself. Focus on your own goals, your own interests. Develop more of a personality and I promise you that people will soon be interested.


--------------------

Take a look at my journal

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Darwin23] * 1
    #26117450 -

I’m a female incel and what makes it more pathetic is that I’m bi so neither women or men want me. But I don’t have hate towards anyone or blame someone else for my problems. I’m just one of those unfortunate people that will never be in a relationship.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #26117853 -

An InCel is someone subjected by Involuntary Celibacy.

You can stop doing that by making the Celibacy, voluntary.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Asante]
    #26118006 -

that's called being a volcel  :wink:


--------------------
Legalize drugs and prostitution

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Asante]
    #26118229 -

Asante said:
An InCel is someone subjected by Involuntary Celibacy.

You can stop doing that by making the Celibacy, voluntary.


I don't think that's how it works

That's like saying, I'm not a drug addict, I choose to live in a cardboard box and smoke meth

You want what you want, it takes some serious willpower to actually change your soul. Much easier to change your behavior, i.e. treat women with respect and fake confidence until you get what you desire


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26118260 -

bloodsheen said:
Asante said:
An InCel is someone subjected by Involuntary Celibacy.

You can stop doing that by making the Celibacy, voluntary.


I don't think that's how it works

That's like saying, I'm not a drug addict, I choose to live in a cardboard box and smoke meth

You want what you want, it takes some serious willpower to actually change your soul. Much easier to change your behavior, i.e. treat women with respect and fake confidence until you get what you desire



You say "you wqant what you want" but an incel feels locked out of the state they are in. Involuntary.

I Say, first take possession of the state you are in, accepting and embracing the celibacy, owning it, and from there work at moving into situations where that celibacy may end.

If you feel victimized by your celibacy you're feeling sorry and that isn't attractive.

Take charge of your life and the partner magnet reverses polarity from repel to attract.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Asante]
    #26118278 -

Mmm, potato patatoe

Taking control of your life isn't really the same as saying "I choose to be celibate." It's just saying "I choose to reject behavior that doesn't serve me and to become what will get me what I desire."

It would be a lie to say I don't miss having a girlfriend. Lying to yourself isn't helpful. I just try to say, it's not the end of the world and next time it will be better  even when I don't really believe it


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen] * 1
    #26120306 -

the difference is that incels are desperate and don't realize that girls are usually absolutely repulsed by desperation imo.


--------------------
Legalize drugs and prostitution

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: DontFearThePeepr]
    #26121380 -

DontFearThePeepr said:
the difference is that incels are desperate and don't realize that girls are usually absolutely repulsed by desperation imo.


this but replace desperation with showing any interest whatsoever


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26121388 -

yeah said:
DontFearThePeepr said:
the difference is that incels are desperate and don't realize that girls are usually absolutely repulsed by desperation imo.


this but replace desperation with showing any interest whatsoever


nope... you gotta show interest in knowing her and getting on her panties... you dont have to be literal on the last one... they know when you want the cootie, and they like it...j jut gotta be patient and appear as you are not in a rush to get it

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: AIRDOG]
    #26133387 -

AIRDOG said:
yeah said:
DontFearThePeepr said:
the difference is that incels are desperate and don't realize that girls are usually absolutely repulsed by desperation imo.


this but replace desperation with showing any interest whatsoever


nope... you gotta show interest in knowing her and getting on her panties... you dont have to be literal on the last one... they know when you want the cootie, and they like it...j jut gotta be patient and appear as you are not in a rush to get it



Man I'm not gonna say you're wrong but I just can't put a foot forward with women and not turn them off. Kinda getting tired of trying. Should I just give them eyes and let them do the work?


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26133495 -

Pft, a woman do the work? Lol naw man they literally don't even know how. I'm curious, how long do you wait to make this step forward? There is a very delicate amount of time you need. Not so early that you come off as too hungry but not so late that she has already friendzoned you. It's a very difficult balance. One thing I liked about online dating. No fucking around, she knows you want her and she wants you, it's just a matter of proving chemistry


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26134272 -

yeah said:
AIRDOG said:
yeah said:
DontFearThePeepr said:
the difference is that incels are desperate and don't realize that girls are usually absolutely repulsed by desperation imo.


this but replace desperation with showing any interest whatsoever


nope... you gotta show interest in knowing her and getting on her panties... you dont have to be literal on the last one... they know when you want the cootie, and they like it...j jut gotta be patient and appear as you are not in a rush to get it



Man I'm not gonna say you're wrong but I just can't put a foot forward with women and not turn them off. Kinda getting tired of trying. Should I just give them eyes and let them do the work?


you lack game and confidence, maybe you are too nice to them and afraid to make a move and thats why they are turned off... gotta read when a woman is into you... then you make your moves, not before...

read the redpill dating advice

Edited by AIRDOG (08/13/19 10:13 PM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: AIRDOG]
    #26135087 -

I don't really like redpill advice because it's geared towards getting normie women who have a bad relationship with their father.

Like I'll try to just make small talk after I notice they're checking me out and all of a sudden they're put off. Maybe I need to act aloof for longer? Not sure, maybe I am being too nice when I do try to talk. I'll try to give off a rugged adventurer vibe.


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Edited by yeah (08/14/19 09:12 AM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Darwin23]
    #26137586 -

Darwin23 said:
There is and always will be a female privilege. They are more valuable to our survival as a species (100 girls + 5 guys = 100 babies in 9 months. 100 guys + 5 girls = 5 babies in nine months). We're expendable and it's not a social construct, it's just evolutionary fact.



That's the theory and it works like that with younger people. Once you get into your late 20s and older it's the reverse. There are more men than women who are out of the relationship market (either due to their being unemployed, in prison, gay, or sworn off relationships and making do with commercial sex), and women's standards get way more realistic. Given 1-1 pairings there are more spare women around for relationships and men who are tolerable at all should be able to get them (casual sex between people not in relationships is different and much less egalitarian though) - basically it's women who become expendable in terms of relationships.

On the subject of commercial sex, I knew a guy who was celibate till 26, and involuntarily so, though the "incel" subculture didn't exist at that time. On a trip to Europe he visited a bordello and lost his virginity. Within 2 weeks of returning to his home country he had a legitimate girlfriend. Could be a coincidence but my theory is it changed his attitude and confidence and therefore also the way he came across to women.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: testtesttest]
    #26154788 -

An analysis of Incel culture.




--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26157402 -

I agree with some of your points but others I disagree with.


bloodsheen said:
Theres definitely redemption from their toxic thinking. The problem, in my eyes, is they spend so much time thinking about things from their own perspective they never really step outside themselves and try to have empathy.

This I agree with.  But it’s only part of picking up girls.  Empathy is not a must.
bloodsheen said:
I tend to agree with some of their feelings about Chads and how women are naturally drawn to them, and then later in life they settle down with a "nice guy(TM)"

I disagree with that, I haven’t seen it.  The girls I have seen will hook up with the ‘chad’ and stick with them through thick and thin because the whole time they think they can change them.  They’ll even marry them.  The whole time they’re getting the shit kicked out of them and cheated on.  I don’t have much faith in womankind.
bloodsheen said:
But they take that to mean that men are divided into US and THEM. US is incels, THEM is men who don't have trouble with women.

But that’s exactly what it is.  Is always been that way, always will.  That’s the grand pecking order and it is real.
bloodsheen said:
Which is just ignorant and lazy thinking.

Don’t see how.  It’s just real.
bloodsheen said:
They also never really think hard about what they are attracted to in women and how many parallels there are between genders and finding suitable mates.

I agree with this part.
bloodsheen said:
Like how chubby men can pretty much get any girl they want if they are appealing/successful enough,

True.  But they still have to have some game to pull it off.
bloodsheen said:
but no matter what chubby girls have troubles and constant judgement from society.

I half agree and half disagree.  Because chubby girls have such a low self-esteem, they are hardest to pick up because they think you’re just settling for them or going for the easy target.
bloodsheen said:
Really IMO it comes down to attitude. It's a vicious cycle, their misogynist thoughts subconsciously make them have bad body language and poor self-esteem, which turns women off,

I agree with this.
bloodsheen said:
which makes them more angry. Treating mental illness and learning empathy can go a LONG way.

The mental illness aspect I agree with.  The empathy part I disagree with.  They need game first.  Then they can worry about the empathy aspect.
bloodsheen said:
If you want to see a lengthy explanation, go on YouTube and search "ContraPoints Incels."

If your suggesting that to incels, I’d say they should watch some Ross Jeffries videos instead.  If you’re saying that about people interested in learning about incels, meh.
bloodsheen said:
She does a really good job showing how they are mostly just sad and angry people who think it's ok to create a philosophy based around sadness and anger. It's where I learned most of what I know about them and how terrible it really is.


bloodsheen said:
As far as dry spells, just don't make it anyone else's fault but your own.


I agree with this.
bloodsheen said:
Ugly losers get super great girls all the time because they know how to talk to them and treat them well.

I disagree, they have learned how to manipulate them. Treating them well is probably not part of the equation.
bloodsheen said:
Ever hear the theory that right when you get a girlfriend suddenly every girl flirts with you? Well it's true, that confidence and not giving a fuck is appealing.

I disagree, it’s not completely because of your confidence, it’s because you have a girlfriend and that means you are desirable because you are now off limits.  There’s more to it than that but that’s the gist of it.
bloodsheen said:
When I completely gave up I found a really cool chick, and after that I noticed women checking me out all the time. But incels say they have given up, when in reality they just become bitter and assume that because the system is rigged against them they are doomed. Which is the opposite of not giving a fuck.

I usually end up finding girls when I’m not looking either.

Well my two cents.

Here’s a video for incels to watch that might actually help them on the hunt.  I don’t see how nicholas’s video talking down to them like they’re sociological pariahs to be studied is going to help.



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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26157810 -

yeah said:
I don't really like redpill advice because it's geared towards getting normie women who have a bad relationship with their father.

Like I'll try to just make small talk after I notice they're checking me out and all of a sudden they're put off. Maybe I need to act aloof for longer? Not sure, maybe I am being too nice when I do try to talk. I'll try to give off a rugged adventurer vibe.


How about being a normal person who isn’t trying to give someone an impression of yourself that isn’t genuine.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #26157844 -

There are multiple faces that we all put on. Do you consider yourself giving a false impression when you give a job interview? Because dating is surprisingly similar to a job interview when you think about it.

Would you date a virgin if you knew ahead of time he/she was a virgin? Most people would answer no, but what if there were extenuating circumstances and you found out after you had sex for the first time? Would you immediately break up? Probably most people would also answer no.

Life is more complicated than "be yourself." We all have many faces, it's unwise to put forth anything but what you consider the best of you


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26157892 -

Quote:
it's unwise to put forth anything but what you consider the best of you


You don’t have to lay out all your flaws, but it’s a turn off when someone is trying to sell themselves that way. Immodest people are fake. I totally disagree with your statement.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26157971 -

It's not about being immodest necessarily. But you are welcome to your opinion. You are wrong, but I accept your premise. I have no idea how successful you've been in the dating department, but the most honest and upfront people I've met struggle heavily with dating. I used to be more like that, didn't work out for me. Not everyone is born attractive and appealing, it's a learned skill for many


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26161662 -

Anonymous #1 said:
yeah said:
I don't really like redpill advice because it's geared towards getting normie women who have a bad relationship with their father.

Like I'll try to just make small talk after I notice they're checking me out and all of a sudden they're put off. Maybe I need to act aloof for longer? Not sure, maybe I am being too nice when I do try to talk. I'll try to give off a rugged adventurer vibe.


How about being a normal person who isn’t trying to give someone an impression of yourself that isn’t genuine.


no I think being aloof is pretty natural for me and when I rush to small talk is when I'm not being myself

btw you're a bitch for saying that anonymously


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26163657 -

I'm not an incel

Never went around asking women to hangout or anything though , mostly just because I dont want to bug anyone

The onlin thing didnt work for me and I never asked a woman out in person before but I might give it a try one day , only if they show interest first

just going up to random people seems strange

I would say that I'm not really missing out on much and patience is good


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    :dazedandconfused:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: watermelon mon]
    #26163663 -

It's kind of embarrassing to me that I never asked anyone before and this is the first time that I ever told anyone that

Do have it in me to do it and I'm not afraid just never done it


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    :dazedandconfused:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: watermelon mon]
    #26163682 -

watermelon mon said:
I'm not an incel

Never went around asking women to hangout or anything though , mostly just because I dont want to bug anyone

The onlin thing didnt work for me and I never asked a woman out in person before but I might give it a try one day , only if they show interest first

just going up to random people seems strange

I would say that I'm not really missing out on much and patience is good


More often than not, when done respectfully and to girls who aren't like a blond 10/10 chick, even when they shoot you down they are very flattered. It's pretty fun to watch her expression go from confusion, to realization, to a big shit-eating grin, followed by intense blushing. I get turned down pretty much every time but I've never had a truly negative experience, like her saying "Wtf no you fuckin creep," like all guys imagine in their heads happening. I did have one girl kinda back away looking slightly weirded out and said "Uh yeah sure..." :lol: Which was more her problem than mine, a girl that hot should have learned how to say no by her 20s.

In my experience of being pretty much a loser, I've found that picking a girl you see all the time and like "laying groundwork" or whatever, it backfires most of the time. It's way more effective to just kinda barely get to know her, feel out the vibe, and just do it. Unless she has a boyfriend, even then laying groundwork is risky. You can get friendzoned, or she realizes what you are doing and shuts down. The less you care about her the easier it is to take your no like a man and move on.


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26163880 -

Thanks I'll give it a try a couple times and let you know what happens


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    :dazedandconfused:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26216965 -

Formula: 0you want to be a chad not a virgin looser. first, try not to whack off. you'll need all the man juice you can get for the high lonesome rocky road travelled by philosopher chads and other based chads. my advice is to up your onion intake as much as you can. start a weight routine and stick to it (listen to
and
it's old school and hasn't been tainted by the globohomo agenda. base your arguments on logic and reason and not the unmanly kind from emotion and sentimentality. read stoic philosophers like marcus Aurelius, and also the hagakure and 5 rings. samurais can kill with out passion, passion is for fags. the "chans" pol 4,8,16 ect have much to say about this , lurk 2 years before posting anything like this- AT LEAST TWO. the sig improvement threads are pretty good usually. i wouldn't suggest going full on mgtow, and you probably won't because of your concerns regarding the dread INCEL phenomenon. i would suggest not calling your self a feminist, it won't get you laid, you will be forever a beta orbiter in the friend zone. maybe consider some test supplements? i take boron citrate based pills to boost free testosterone. high t is good, incels have low t most likely. incels are whiny "feels" fags, from now on you should only allow yourself to feel one thing, disgust. disgust will motivate you in ways nothing else can, be disgusted with personal weakness, be disgusted with sloppy superficial people, be disgusted by being disgusted and rise above it.  https://archive.org/download/JuliusEvolaArchive
Formula: 1[/tex] 

Edited by thedestroyer (09/28/19 08:03 PM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: thedestroyer]
    #26233080 -

Useful article:


Quote:
Where are the gay ‘incels’?

Society doesn't socialize men to believe they have a right to other men's bodies, but does it go deeper than that?

By Terrance Heath Thursday, April 26, 2018    11 Comments
Where are the gay ‘incels’?

The van attack in Toronto propelled the “incel” movement into the headlines, but who are they – and why aren’t we hearing about gay “incels”?

“Incel” stands for “involuntary celibate.” The term originated in the darkest corners of the alt-right “manosphere.”

As Dan Savage points out, the “incel” movement seems to consist almost exclusively of heterosexual men driven to rage by their inability to find women willing to date or have sex with them. In his exhaustive take on the subject, there’s one question Savage doesn’t answer: Where are the gay “incels”?

No one group has cornered the market on sexual deprivation. As an advice columnist, Savage hears from all sorts of sexually deprived people — male and female — who suffer from frustration, loneliness, and depression. But the overwhelming majority of them don’t become mass murderers, turning guns on innocent people or mowing down pedestrians with their vehicles.

“Incels” seem to have two major traits in common.

The first is a sense of entitlement to women’s time and attention, and to their bodies. The second is misogyny, an intense hatred of women; in the case of “incels,” this hatred is fueled by a sense that women have wronged them, by denying them the sexual or romantic success to which they feel entitled.

Surely there are sexually deprived and frustrated gay men out there. So, again,where are all the gay “incels”?

It’s certainly not because gay men are necessarily less misogynistic. Our community has its share of sexists, just as it does racists and even homophobes.

Gay men, however, don’t desire sex with women, and thus don’t have a sense of entitlement to women’s bodies. And society doesn’t socialize men to believe they have a right to other men’s bodies.

Perhaps, also, gay male sexual culture has evolved in such a way that sex is easier to find. There’s less stigma about anonymous sex and sex work among gay men. There are still cruising spots and bathhouses where anonymous sex is easy to find. The internet spawned an online hookup culture, with all manner of chatrooms and sites where men seeking sex with other men can find each other.

Of course, there are also a whole host of reasons for the above. Among them, women having sex with men face risks that men having sex with men don’t necessarily have to consider. Rape and sexual assault can and do happen between men, but the chances are considerably less than what women regularly face.

Nothing justifies taking the lives of others just because you can’t get laid, no matter who you are – gay, straight, or anywhere on the spectrum. But until straight men learn that lesson they’ve avoided since the beginning of time, at least gay men can’t be blamed for this (non)sexual behavior.



The Incel mindset is one where straight males paint themselves in a corner based on cultural generalisations and other factors.

iTS A TOUGHT DISORDER.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Asante]
    #26233096 -

How is that article useful?  It’s an opinion piece told as fact, and is beyond pretentious.


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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Asante]
    #26233567 -

Asante said:
The Incel mindset is one where straight males paint themselves in a corner based on cultural generalisations and other factors.



There are definitely gay and female incels.  It's not a sexual neurosis.  It's more like an echo chamber of self loathing, learned helplessness and anger that conditions people to be stultifyingly unreceptive to any sort of coping skills.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: chibiabos]
    #26233836 -

Gay incels lack the sense of entitlement and toxic masculinity that exists in heterosexual culture and causes problems when men who have these attitudes can’t get laid.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26235640 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Gay incels lack the sense of entitlement and toxic masculinity that exists in heterosexual culture and causes problems when men who have these attitudes can’t get laid.


Gay people act just as entitled and shitty as straight people.  They just don't roll with the Baptist nutjobs as often.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: chibiabos]
    #26238270 -

Feeling entitled to a boyfriend is certainly not a commonly held sentiment in the gay community. A lot of straight guys feel entitled to woman.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26238439 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Feeling entitled to a boyfriend is certainly not a commonly held sentiment in the gay community. A lot of straight guys feel entitled to woman.


That’s ‘women’.  Saying it like that makes you sound like Animal from the muppets.

GIVE ME WOMAN NOWWW!!!ARRRRR!!!



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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: lowbrow]
    #26238452 -

It was a typo. Calm down.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26238513 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Feeling entitled to a boyfriend is certainly not a commonly held sentiment in the gay community. A lot of straight guys feel entitled to woman.


Feeling entitled to a girlfriend isn't a commonly held sentiment among straight men.  Straight men who think like that have damned few, if any, friends and are pretty few and far between outside of those little aggregators of virgin rage.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: chibiabos] * 1
    #26238528 -

Anonymous #1 said:
It was a typo. Calm down.


WOMAN!!!WOMAN!!!



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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: lowbrow]
    #26239909 -

lowbrow said:
Anonymous #1 said:
It was a typo. Calm down.


WOMAN!!!WOMAN!!!




:biggrin:


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: chibiabos]
    #26242007 -

chibiabos said:
Asante said:
The Incel mindset is one where straight males paint themselves in a corner based on cultural generalisations and other factors.



There are definitely gay and female incels.  It's not a sexual neurosis.  It's more like an echo chamber of self loathing, learned helplessness and anger that conditions people to be stultifyingly unreceptive to any sort of coping skills.


I mean, you basically just defined "sexual neurosis". Or, I guess, "neurosis" more generally, but in the distinctly sexual frame of reference.

I do think there is a pop culture aspect, though. Oftentimes I see incels living out their lives primarily online, and I think a majority of their "social" experiences/interactions are done though

(a) toxic forums/chatrooms such as incels.me and the many incel subreddits that keep popping up
(b) TV shows/movies.

This leads to a fairly fucked up mindset, because the first outlet is full of loathing and hate for the self and the other members, with an overarching hate towards the "other" (primarily women), and because in TV shows/Movies, the guy always gets the hot girl at the end. Not many movies about gay people yet. I can't think of any male leads that get the hot guy at the end.

I also think that gay incels are less common because I see quite a bit of hate towards LGBTQ+ people on incel forums. This might be due to the whole political integration of incels into the hard right wing, though.

Female incels are definitely a thing, though they generally manifest slightly differently, and while they are just as creepy, they definitely seem a lot less physically dangerous. Not in a "women don't do violence" sense, but in the sense that they seem to have a completely different approach to their violence which is less physical and more social violence.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26243616 -

Just popping in to point out that MGTOWs and InCels are drastically different. Feminists love to conflate the 2 but they are almost exact opposites. The only similarity is that they don't generally have sex with women.

As a general rule MGTOWs are not mad at women, they just want nothing to do with women in western societies even though they are sought by women.

Female InCels = feminist primes

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: bendychicken]
    #26243636 -

Mgtows are good looking but have small dicks

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #26244802 -

From what I've seen, MGTOWs are just as obsessed with women as incels are. Incels are obsessed with getting laid, MGTOWs are obsessed with telling the world (especially women) how much they don't need women.

That's the sad part, really. MGTOWs are in denial about how much they care about women, and want women to notice them.

MGTOWs are a bit like the hipster that insists that [popular thing] is bad, and is able to go into so much detail about why it's bad, that it's obvious they've watched the whole series six times and taken notes.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26245152 -

Mgtows are incels who have given up

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26251007 -

Kryptos, isn't there availability bias here?

The MGTOW who doesn't talk about it is just the random guy at work who doesn't have a girlfriend but isn't gay either, so we don't think of him when we're trying to recall an MGTOW; we think of the guy who talks about it and the MGTOW stereotype comes from that.

Similarly, some gay people sometimes complain that they're seen as being like the participants in the gay mardi gras, whereas many (most?) of them would never dream of parading around the streets with hardly any clothes on and might not be known to such a wide number of people as gay as would be someone with a "gay accent" and so on, so they don't have the same contribution to the "gay stereotype".

If you define MGTOW as a specific campaign rather than an organic social phenomenon then ok, you're correct by definition that they tell the world about it, but in that case they should be judged by the standards of other social campaigns (who also tell the world about it) rather than other social groups.


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: testtesttest] * 1
    #26253283 -

testtesttest said:
The MGTOW who doesn't talk about it is just the random guy at work who doesn't have a girlfriend but isn't gay either


I know many people like this. That's not what MGTOW is, though.

Just like I know plenty of people that are currently single and looking for a sexual partner, that are not Incels, even though they are celibate and trying to change that.

MGTOW is, like it or not, a specific community and thought process. That community believes in: rejecting women, rejecting social structures, and ultimately rejecting society (those are the "MGTOW Monks"). And they make sure everybody knows about it.

For example: I'm a random guy at work with no girlfriend who isn't gay. I'm not actively searching for a girlfriend, because I'm actively working to get promoted and put in long hours. This does not make me a MGTOW, even though I fulfill the basic criteria of a "Man Going My Own Way". I don't share the ideology. I think the ideology is stupid and toxic.

That's exactly why its not an organic social phenomenon. "Guy who happens to be single and not trying to change it" is an organic social phenomenon. "Guy who happens to be single, not trying to change it, and tells a bunch of other guys online how much women suck, bro" in a MGTOW.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26255300 -

Right, but then it's like I say in my final paragraph. It's fine to define MGTOW as the people who are actually campaigning rather than just living the lifestyle, but in that case when you say:

"MGTOWs are obsessed with telling the world (especially women) how much they don't need women."

You're saying "People who are campaigning are obsessed with telling people about it."

OK, but true for any campaign.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: testtesttest]
    #26255713 -

I don't know a single person who is "quietly living the lifestyle" by choice, as opposed to having the MGTOW label applied to them involuntarily. Again, including myself.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26262381 -

I'm too fucking weird to get a GF

I go on Tinder and try to talk to my matches like a normal human, you know like making small talk or whatever normies do, right? They just stop responding without joking about too much small talk or making any hints I need to get my meat out as it were :/

that's if I get matches

some 18 yo at work showed interest in me and made a joke that she owes me lunch so I teased her about it and she didn't back down from saying it so I put my # in her phone and no text in several days


idk man I'm not about to post on some faggy mgtow subreddit but I'm starting to think it makes sense for me to just wait for the universe to present me a woman that I have no choice with and it just kind of "happens" ya know


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26262506 -

yeah said:
I'm too fucking weird to get a GF

I go on Tinder and try to talk to my matches like a normal human, you know like making small talk or whatever normies do, right? They just stop responding without joking about too much small talk or making any hints I need to get my meat out as it were :/

that's if I get matches

some 18 yo at work showed interest in me and made a joke that she owes me lunch so I teased her about it and she didn't back down from saying it so I put my # in her phone and no text in several days


idk man I'm not about to post on some faggy mgtow subreddit but I'm starting to think it makes sense for me to just wait for the universe to present me a woman that I have no choice with and it just kind of "happens" ya know


What are you going to do after your universal gift decides to leave you?

The universe will not repeat the process so you might as well get out there and get your toes wet.

Rule #1-Don’t get butthurt.

Rule #2-You’re going to get butthurt.

Have fun.


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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26262511 -

yeah said:
I'm too fucking weird to get a GF

You're not.  I'm fucking weird, and I know people who are fucking weird, and they can get GF's.  Your weirdness is not the issue here I'd bet.

I go on Tinder and try to talk to my matches like a normal human, you know like making small talk or whatever normies do, right?

And how exciting is that?  This small talk that you imagine normies are making?  And does the thought of having a girlfriend who loves smalltalk excite you?

They just stop responding without joking about too much small talk or making any hints I need to get my meat out as it were :/

Women WILL NOT tell you why they're stopping talking to you on Tinder (ok, they rarely will).  It could be for many reasons.  That you're a boring cunt who only makes small talk.  That they're testing your interest to see if you message again.  That you've slipped to the bottom of their inbox.  That they've deleted the app.  Don't take it personally.

that's if I get matches

It's a sellers market.  They have thousands of thirsty males all ready to match, they can afford to be picky.  Tinder for men is V different to Tinder for women.

some 18 yo at work showed interest in me and made a joke that she owes me lunch so I teased her about it and she didn't back down from saying it so I put my # in her phone and no text in several days

You're expecting her to make the move?  If she's interested (which she seems based on the info above), you need to make the move.  Be clear and direct about what you want.  If you swing and miss, at least you know.

idk man I'm not about to post on some faggy mgtow subreddit but I'm starting to think it makes sense for me to just wait for the universe to present me a woman that I have no choice with and it just kind of "happens" ya know

Or you could be pro active and honest about what you want.  There's tons of resources about Tinder dating (max 5 photos, one group shot if you can, unique/funny profile, good openers etc).  I've found being my weird self means I convert fewer matches into dates, but the dates I get are awesome.

TL:DR - Actively work on getting better at it all, it's an effort, and cringeworthy when you get it wrong, but the only way you get good at something is to learn good technique then practice




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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: living_failure]
    #26262538 -

living_failure said:
How do you deal with nobody finding you suitable for love?



You're not going to want to hear this, but you need to MAKE YOURSELF SUITABLE.

Get a CAREER, not a job.
Learn how to dress well, it doesn't have to be expensive.
Instead of posting on drug forums, consider not doing drugs and find other activities. Join groups that do that activity and meet people there.
Work out.

'Incels' are people who believe they are entitled to love without having to do any of the work to earn it, then get mad at women for reacting negatively to their laziness. Women who are worth a shit don't want to be with some scrub who isn't going anywhere (can you blame them?) so don't be one.

Do it for yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #26262668 -

bro you're coming off was wanting to just criticize and pass judgment more so than wanting to help

with the girl at work how could you say I didn't make a move? Do I need to put her on the spot and make her give me her number so I can then pressure her into fitting me into her schedule? Come the fuck on. I made a move...


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26262798 -

I've had to accept that Im pretty shy and have had some serious challenges having ladies in my life. I always had these crazy ideas of what women like, but as I've gotten older. I've realized it simply comes down to talking to women. This isn't even to be degrading to them but I've noticed many women you can just blabber the most random bullshit to and they will become interested in you. Being less outcome dependent will help confidents tremendously.

Edited by Donger (10/19/19 10:32 AM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26263533 -

yeah said:
bro you're coming off was wanting to just criticize and pass judgment more so than wanting to help

with the girl at work how could you say I didn't make a move? Do I need to put her on the spot and make her give me her number so I can then pressure her into fitting me into her schedule? Come the fuck on. I made a move...


I may not have picked up the specifics while skimming the thread, but "girl at work" is like, three red flags right there. Coworker? That's a recipe for disaster, if I was your manager I'd just fire you both to avoid future drama. Girl who's actively working while you try to chat her up? Oof. Girl paid to be nice to you since you're a customer? Double OOF.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26263958 -

Kryptos said:
yeah said:
bro you're coming off was wanting to just criticize and pass judgment more so than wanting to help

with the girl at work how could you say I didn't make a move? Do I need to put her on the spot and make her give me her number so I can then pressure her into fitting me into her schedule? Come the fuck on. I made a move...


I may not have picked up the specifics while skimming the thread, but "girl at work" is like, three red flags right there. Coworker? That's a recipe for disaster, if I was your manager I'd just fire you both to avoid future drama. Girl who's actively working while you try to chat her up? Oof. Girl paid to be nice to you since you're a customer? Double OOF.


stfu nerd


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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: Kryptos]
    #26264206 -

Kryptos said:
yeah said:
bro you're coming off was wanting to just criticize and pass judgment more so than wanting to help

with the girl at work how could you say I didn't make a move? Do I need to put her on the spot and make her give me her number so I can then pressure her into fitting me into her schedule? Come the fuck on. I made a move...


I may not have picked up the specifics while skimming the thread, but "girl at work" is like, three red flags right there. Coworker? That's a recipe for disaster, if I was your manager I'd just fire you both to avoid future drama. Girl who's actively working while you try to chat her up? Oof. Girl paid to be nice to you since you're a customer? Double OOF.


I had a female manager who would hit on me when she got drunk. She’d be like “come on Koods,
Don’t you just wanna try it (vagine) once?”


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

Edited by koods (10/20/19 11:41 AM)

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: yeah]
    #26265235 -

yeah said:
bro you're coming off was wanting to just criticize and pass judgment more so than wanting to help

with the girl at work how could you say I didn't make a move? Do I need to put her on the spot and make her give me her number so I can then pressure her into fitting me into her schedule? Come the fuck on. I made a move...


Sorry, it was a bit harsh, but it's the most fiercely competitive game in the world, the finding a partner game.  If you're no good at it, you need to look at your faults and strengths, and work hard on them both.

With the girl at work, if you're so keen on her to risk the potential workplace drama, then yes, just say you're sick of waiting for her to take you out, so you're going to have to take her out, this Thursday.  You'll either get blown out or get one step closer to getting blown.

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Re: What is an incel? can you stop being one? how? [Re: koods]
    #26265398 -

I saw that...


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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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