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Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend?
    #25510702 -

Guys who can't get a girlfriend are often seen as losers.

I think getting a girlfriend is actually a very advanced social skill. Seems unreasonable to act so condescending towards those who haven't figured it out yet.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25510977 -

Those perceived outside the norm, no matter how abnormal that really is or how "good" a person we're speaking of, are always set aside. In the wild, young that are disadvantaged are often either set aside from the group or straight up killed. Nature, and that includes human nature, necessitates the growth of the strongest or most advantaged. That is a principle law. So when one may be challenged for their outward perception, it's a way for us to gauge as a group who they are. When I put it in these terms I see it as easily relatable in regard to claiming it also a self esteem issue. Those who would point the finger would have the finger not on them. There is an old epic poem about this in regard to farting.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #25510995 -

I think you're expecting society to be far more advanced than it is. It is formed by human nature, which, at base, is very basic.

We like to put on the airs of being advanced in our culture, but we're really not, IMO.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25511000 -

Debatable.  With all available comparison points we are the MOST ADVANCED life form in existence when it comes to beating out our base nature and having a culture. 

That said, we are capable of thinking about things far outside of grasp.  You only need to look at things like science fiction to see that.  We can understand a lot, we can move mountains, fly, build great cities, destroy disease and famine, but not for everyone and everyone is not capable of those thoughts.  Our core instincts will always be our crutch, but they are just a crutch, not a full blown lobotomy.


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: mndfreeze]
    #25511010 -

mndfreeze said:
We can understand a lot, we can move mountains, fly, build great cities, destroy disease and famine, but not for everyone and everyone is not capable of those thoughts.


I think it is things like this that delude us into believing we're more advanced than we are. Yes we have all that due to our ability to communicate and so pass knowledge so well, but when it comes to the basic animal instincts to hoard, fight and fuck, we're right there with the chimps IMO.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #25511045 -

But all that matters is the "in comparison" part.  There is nothing more advanced, which means we are at the top and the best there is.  One of the great things about the human race is we constantly strive for better.  "better" being a widely used descriptor but better regardless.  I imagine at some point in the future we will figure out a way to gain a better handle on our core instincts that make us do stupid shit.  It's just going to take a long time because we are technically limited, but also the moral dangerone of modifying who we really are at our core.

Every animals has base core instincts because they are required to survive.  Even the desire to eat is tied to those same core instincts.  Same with sex drive.  Can you imagine if we turned off those core instincts and people just didn't care to fuck?  How sad would that world be. :laugh:

IMO, we are making huge leaps at an every increasing and exponential level.  When you look at the time scale of humans and the time scale for advancements that were big for species they get more and more frequent and closer and closer together.  We eventually will figure some crazy shit out, probably evolve ourselves right past being human.  IF we survive long enough and don't wipe ourselves out. 

But this is so far OT at this point lol.  People get condescending towards anything they view as failure or different from society. It doesn't really need to be more complicated than that really.  Part of life is the view from society that you should be capable of finding a mate and those who are not are failures.  Society feels the same way about people who can't hold jobs, or become drug addicts and can't function.


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: mndfreeze] * 1
    #25534274 -

I think it's one of those aggressive behaviors that's sort of naturally driven by brain. Sex stuff seems to have pretty strong and somewhat inflexible behaviors that are associated with it. It's a lower brain kind of thing. Picking on the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend helps establish a person's position in a social hierarchy, and it was probably a good way to secure a mate at some point in time (It may still be beneficial for all I know). There was a book I read a while back that went through some of the science behind weird behaviors like this. The book was call "Behave: The biology of humans at our best and worst". It went through parts of the brain and various neurotransmitters involved in some behaviors similar to this kind of stuff. It might be a good read if you're curious about potential mechanisms for this kind of behavior. I remember a section about testosterone promoting aggression (Through the amygdala somehow) in response to threats to social status. This kind of stuff has been studied.

I think the quick and dirty answer to your question is that picking on a guy with no girlfriend is not based on an honest intellectual assessment of the guy's abilities, and it's not about being reasonable and fair to anybody; it's a deeper and older behavior that is more about people being animals with pre-established dispositions toward behaviors that have worked well enough for us since long before we developed things like philosophies of fairness and that kind of stuff. It's a lower brain thing, and I'm sure lots of animals have similar dickbag behaviors that serve similar purposes. Lots of animals hump each other to establish dominance. We have rules and crazy social norms that make humping each other less effective at establishing dominance and mating rights, so we have pick on each other instead. I know it's a bit of a cop out, but denigrating the guy with no girlfriend is probably the easiest alternative to dominance humping for most people.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #25535651 -

Mr.GuessWork said:
I think it's one of those aggressive behaviors that's sort of naturally driven by brain. Sex stuff seems to have pretty strong and somewhat inflexible behaviors that are associated with it. It's a lower brain kind of thing. Picking on the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend helps establish a person's position in a social hierarchy, and it was probably a good way to secure a mate at some point in time (It may still be beneficial for all I know). There was a book I read a while back that went through some of the science behind weird behaviors like this. The book was call "Behave: The biology of humans at our best and worst". It went through parts of the brain and various neurotransmitters involved in some behaviors similar to this kind of stuff. It might be a good read if you're curious about potential mechanisms for this kind of behavior. I remember a section about testosterone promoting aggression (Through the amygdala somehow) in response to threats to social status. This kind of stuff has been studied.

I think the quick and dirty answer to your question is that picking on a guy with no girlfriend is not based on an honest intellectual assessment of the guy's abilities, and it's not about being reasonable and fair to anybody; it's a deeper and older behavior that is more about people being animals with pre-established dispositions toward behaviors that have worked well enough for us since long before we developed things like philosophies of fairness and that kind of stuff. It's a lower brain thing, and I'm sure lots of animals have similar dickbag behaviors that serve similar purposes. Lots of animals hump each other to establish dominance. We have rules and crazy social norms that make humping each other less effective at establishing dominance and mating rights, so we have pick on each other instead. I know it's a bit of a cop out, but denigrating the guy with no girlfriend is probably the easiest alternative to dominance humping for most people.


Yeah that sounds like the basic response most people here have given. Basically that its not a part of rational behavior but rather a lower brain sort of thing. Its also not like unethical behavior is usually done by someone who's thinking about what is fair to the other person since unethical behavior is usually done with the explicit purpose of being unfair.

You know what's interesting is that the majority of the time that males are raped is actually rape by other males, many of whom I presume are straight. So if its not about sexual attraction or intimacy than dominance is the only reason I can think of as to why a straight guy would rape another guy.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25535716 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Mr.GuessWork said:
I think it's one of those aggressive behaviors that's sort of naturally driven by brain. Sex stuff seems to have pretty strong and somewhat inflexible behaviors that are associated with it. It's a lower brain kind of thing. Picking on the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend helps establish a person's position in a social hierarchy, and it was probably a good way to secure a mate at some point in time (It may still be beneficial for all I know). There was a book I read a while back that went through some of the science behind weird behaviors like this. The book was call "Behave: The biology of humans at our best and worst". It went through parts of the brain and various neurotransmitters involved in some behaviors similar to this kind of stuff. It might be a good read if you're curious about potential mechanisms for this kind of behavior. I remember a section about testosterone promoting aggression (Through the amygdala somehow) in response to threats to social status. This kind of stuff has been studied.

I think the quick and dirty answer to your question is that picking on a guy with no girlfriend is not based on an honest intellectual assessment of the guy's abilities, and it's not about being reasonable and fair to anybody; it's a deeper and older behavior that is more about people being animals with pre-established dispositions toward behaviors that have worked well enough for us since long before we developed things like philosophies of fairness and that kind of stuff. It's a lower brain thing, and I'm sure lots of animals have similar dickbag behaviors that serve similar purposes. Lots of animals hump each other to establish dominance. We have rules and crazy social norms that make humping each other less effective at establishing dominance and mating rights, so we have pick on each other instead. I know it's a bit of a cop out, but denigrating the guy with no girlfriend is probably the easiest alternative to dominance humping for most people.


Yeah that sounds like the basic response most people here have given. Basically that its not a part of rational behavior but rather a lower brain sort of thing. Its also not like unethical behavior is usually done by someone who's thinking about what is fair to the other person since unethical behavior is usually done with the explicit purpose of being unfair.

You know what's interesting is that the majority of the time that males are raped is actually rape by other males, many of whom I presume are straight. So if its not about sexual attraction or intimacy than dominance is the only reason I can think of as to why a straight guy would rape another guy.


I would consider any man that rapes another man as atleast bi sexual. Because wether you are raping some one for dominance or not if you weren't atleast slightly attracted to men you wouldn't think about raping another man. That whole "gay for the stay" thing in prison still makes you bi sexual in my book.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #25535742 -

A lot of male on male rape is done for dominance.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #25535774 -

Anonymous #3 said:
Anonymous #1 said:
Mr.GuessWork said:
I think it's one of those aggressive behaviors that's sort of naturally driven by brain. Sex stuff seems to have pretty strong and somewhat inflexible behaviors that are associated with it. It's a lower brain kind of thing. Picking on the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend helps establish a person's position in a social hierarchy, and it was probably a good way to secure a mate at some point in time (It may still be beneficial for all I know). There was a book I read a while back that went through some of the science behind weird behaviors like this. The book was call "Behave: The biology of humans at our best and worst". It went through parts of the brain and various neurotransmitters involved in some behaviors similar to this kind of stuff. It might be a good read if you're curious about potential mechanisms for this kind of behavior. I remember a section about testosterone promoting aggression (Through the amygdala somehow) in response to threats to social status. This kind of stuff has been studied.

I think the quick and dirty answer to your question is that picking on a guy with no girlfriend is not based on an honest intellectual assessment of the guy's abilities, and it's not about being reasonable and fair to anybody; it's a deeper and older behavior that is more about people being animals with pre-established dispositions toward behaviors that have worked well enough for us since long before we developed things like philosophies of fairness and that kind of stuff. It's a lower brain thing, and I'm sure lots of animals have similar dickbag behaviors that serve similar purposes. Lots of animals hump each other to establish dominance. We have rules and crazy social norms that make humping each other less effective at establishing dominance and mating rights, so we have pick on each other instead. I know it's a bit of a cop out, but denigrating the guy with no girlfriend is probably the easiest alternative to dominance humping for most people.


Yeah that sounds like the basic response most people here have given. Basically that its not a part of rational behavior but rather a lower brain sort of thing. Its also not like unethical behavior is usually done by someone who's thinking about what is fair to the other person since unethical behavior is usually done with the explicit purpose of being unfair.

You know what's interesting is that the majority of the time that males are raped is actually rape by other males, many of whom I presume are straight. So if its not about sexual attraction or intimacy than dominance is the only reason I can think of as to why a straight guy would rape another guy.


I would consider any man that rapes another man as atleast bi sexual. Because wether you are raping some one for dominance or not if you weren't atleast slightly attracted to men you wouldn't think about raping another man. That whole "gay for the stay" thing in prison still makes you bi sexual in my book.


"Gay for the stay" thing in prison I do think makes you bisexual.

I don't know about rape though. I could see someone trying to humiliate another man by making him suck his dick.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #25536113 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
A lot of male on male rape is done for dominance.


That describes so many of your posts :rofl:

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #25536137 -

Anonymous #1 said:
I could see someone trying to humiliate another man by making him suck his dick.


Have you never see the Shawshank Redemption? That's a surefire way to lose your dick.


XLCaps said:
Jokeshopbeard said:
A lot of male on male rape is done for dominance.


That describes so many of your posts :rofl:


I don't see how.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25537627 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
Anonymous #1 said:
I could see someone trying to humiliate another man by making him suck his dick.


Have you never see the Shawshank Redemption? That's a surefire way to lose your dick.


XLCaps said:
Jokeshopbeard said:
A lot of male on male rape is done for dominance.


That describes so many of your posts :rofl:


I don't see how.


Criminals usually aren't very smart people.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25539366 -

Because most of them turn into incels over time, and incelā€™s are trash.

Thatā€™s being said there is nothing wrong with an unlucky dude, as long as his experiences havenā€™t made him hateful towards women.


--------------------
Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

You are Me and I am You.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: SARAtonin]
    #25540198 -

No offense but having a girlfriend isnā€™t an advanced social skill. Talking to women isnā€™t an advanced skill. Just be brave. The more girls you talk to the easier it is. Make some chick friends, if youā€™re a nice guy they would love to set you up with their friends.

I think itā€™s looked down on to be a sad boi. But you do you


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When youā€™re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul


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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #25541046 -

Jokeshopbeard said:
I think you're expecting society to be far more advanced than it is. It is formed by human nature, which, at base, is very basic.

We like to put on the airs of being advanced in our culture, but we're really not, IMO.


I agree very much with this.


--------------------
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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: liloldme]
    #25543465 -

:whathesaid:


--------------------
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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: King Klick]
    #25545933 -

King Klick said:
No offense but having a girlfriend isnā€™t an advanced social skill. Talking to women isnā€™t an advanced skill. Just be brave. The more girls you talk to the easier it is. Make some chick friends, if youā€™re a nice guy they would love to set you up with their friends.

I think itā€™s looked down on to be a sad boi. But you do you


Talking to girls isn't an advanced skill. Getting a girlfriend is though. It is way harder to find a girlfriend than it is to just make a female friend.

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Re: Why Exactly is Society so Judgmental Towards Guys who can't get a Girlfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #25546197 -

Here's what I'll say to a person who is feeling as if he is judged in this aspect:

If you look down on anyone it is a certain display of insecurity, imo. It shows that you are trying to protect something that is vulnerable on your side. It basically says that if you do not have 'x' you will no longer be the person you are now. Do you see that this judgement, reveals in fact, a weakness? It's a projection of attachment, and dependability. Not very sought after traits, imo.

Live above judgement.

Every person has a right to make their own decisions. If someone doesn't want to date you, tough shit, man. That's their decision.

Here's what to do, stop thinking of not having a girlfriend as 'a problem'. If you think it's 'a problem' you'll be literally inhabiting an aspect of being where you are 'a guy who doesn't have a girlfriend' or 'a guy who can't get a girlfriend', if you're looking for a girlfriend you'll be 'a guy that's looking for a girlfriend'. In all of these scenarios you aren't 'a guy that has a girlfriend' or 'a guy that can get a girlfriend'.

People who look down on people 'who don't have girlfriends' or anything relating to social symbolism in these basic aspects, are doing so out of their own structured value-system.

This only reveals what - they - would feel in your 'situation'. So they're not exactly empathising with your current situation - they're not 'reading your mind' or observing some kind of 'objective truth' - but projecting their own persona into your situation - as themselves. They do not respect you as an individual being.

This is in of itself uninformed, ignorant and arrogant.

Get the whole thing out of your mind. You'll know when someone likes you, until then, the girls are just people who have the right to their own decisions on who they like. I'm sure you also don't want to date 'just any girl'. And that's okay.

The following is ridiculously obvious:

Never engage with a girl sexually unless they give the signal for you to do so. This will be obvious, and not a perceived 'mind-game'. You'll know when you can go.

You can get anything you want, as long as you believe, and your intentions are properly aligned. You don't even have to be brave, or afraid. You just have to step into the shoes of whoever you want to be. It's like playing dress up. Be the person you want to be, and make adjustments as you see fit.

If 'you' can't get a girlfriend, despite trying it only means 'you've' met girls that didn't want to be 'your' girlfriend. The reasons can be wide, such as something aesthetically about 'you', something 'you've' done, something 'you' - 'don't have'...the list goes on and on. This only reveals what those individuals want for their 'I'. It doesn't mean something is 'wrong' with 'you' or whoever 'you are'. 'You' are an illusion, and constantly changing.

So, do you see, you decide who 'you are' and live inside that place of being?

Only you should have dictation on your own life. And this respect must be given to every other person.

You are in charge of and responsible for yourself and your own problems. It doesn't mean you can't ask for help or guidance or that other people can't effect your life negatively or positively - only that the final decision and outcome lies in your hands.

Edited by remake (10/18/18 04:20 AM)

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