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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: ShaperDreaming] * 3
    #25975919 -

You’re probably right, I should cut ties as soon as possible. I’ll head to the office later to see how we can get off the lease. In the mean time I’ll be looking for work and trying to find other options. I’ve been so caught up in all this I’ve barely found time to better my own life. So focused on where this relationship is going that I barely think about myself.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice. Even if I am stubborn on all this, you guys prove some good points that I think I should listen to. It’s just hard when your heart is so attached to someone. When you want to change things...

I can’t change anyone but myself like you said shaper. I can only change myself, and what my direction is.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333]
    #25975956 -

MadHatter333 said:
I’ve been so caught up in all this I’ve barely found time to better my own life. So focused on where this relationship is going that I barely think about myself.


Yeah, I started to see this after you posted more. It became more obvious. Take care bb. And yeah, your heart is a pain in the ass. I've stuck with shit way too long listening to that fucker.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: ShaperDreaming] * 2
    #25975971 -

When you're down natural human nature is to cling to comfort and avoid change. Especially if the love word is involved. So many people stay with an unfortunate situation just to avoid having to be alone for a while


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Everything you need in one spot.

My Q&A thread. Ask me questions here rather than in Private Message
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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333] * 1
    #25976040 -

Just from a quick skim it sounds like this girl is hardwired for chaos.  Not too many people escape a childhood like that without a few problematic behavioral traits.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: Amanita86] * 1
    #25976391 -

Is it weird that a part of me gets turned on during sex thinking about another guy fucking her? I think about what it may have looked like and the pleasure... I come up with scenarios where it happened and fantasize. Does that make me a sick person?

It upsets me, but at the same time during sex it turns me on. Other times I feel disgusted and betrayed.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333] * 3
    #25976443 -

No, what you like is what you like as long as it isn't harmful to you or someone else. Maybe taboo but not harmful except maybe to a insecure psyche


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Everything you need in one spot.

My Q&A thread. Ask me questions here rather than in Private Message
Bod's chat thread

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: bodhisatta]
    #25976616 -

Yeah, I don’t want it to continue happening though.

Her birth control expired last month so she may be pregnant. She has an appointment Thursday to get it renewed. I told her I want to put a baby inside her. She had the biggest smile. I feel it would change our lives for the better. It would help me to understand children better, and bring us closer together as a couple.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333] * 7
    #25976620 -

Yea no. Lol worst possible idea


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Everything you need in one spot.

My Q&A thread. Ask me questions here rather than in Private Message
Bod's chat thread

5g a day keeps the 5g away

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: bodhisatta]
    #25976629 -

Uuuh okay. Why?

I’ve been meaning to impregnate her for a while now. Her implant got in the way of it... I have a small window of Oportunity to plant my seed into her egg. I’ll feel very happy if she is. I’ve always been on the fence about children, but she’s a nurturing soul. I want her to be the mother of my child.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333] * 4
    #25976638 -

MadHatter333 said:
I’ve been meaning to impregnate her for a while now. Her implant got in the way of it... I have a small window of Oportunity to plant my seed into her egg. I’ll feel very happy if she is. I’ve always been on the fence about children, but she’s a nurturing soul. I want her to be the mother of my child.


Mate I've been following you through this whole process. Rooting for you. Feeling for you. Empathising with you.

But now you're just being bonkers. Wake up, this train of though is beyond moronic. It's self-destructive and guaranteed to cause harm to many others.

Please, for the sake of all that is good, do not do this.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 3
    #25976761 -

Ourcspecies doesn't do well learning from the mistakes of others. Rest assured going down the baby to save "us" route is mutually assured destruction. Your foundation better be better than solid before contemplating kids. Heck they can wreck people who are soulxmstes and financially stable. But I've never heard of happily ever after kids when it was sour milk back in the fridge to start.


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Everything you need in one spot.

My Q&A thread. Ask me questions here rather than in Private Message
Bod's chat thread

5g a day keeps the 5g away

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: bodhisatta] * 2
    #25976813 -

bodhisatta said:
Your foundation better be better than solid before contemplating kids. Heck they can wreck people who are soulxmstes and financially stable. But I've never heard of happily ever after kids when it was sour milk back in the fridge to start.


yes, and double yes.


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hpoo or die

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333]
    #25977074 -

Hey man, this is not going to be pleasant at times, and in my own experience it comes in time to a wave of ups and downs.

You can think it’s all downs, you can’t come out a winner, whether you leave or stay.

I left, and I pandered for 6 weeks.

Today, my boss has said he thought I was as slow as a hard piece of shit, and that he liked to be disproven.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times *DELETED* [Re: sudly] * 1
    #25977158 -

Post deleted by LizardWizard

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: Reblackah]
    #25977162 -

If you go through with this, I vote we bring back the :tard: smiley, just for you!

Might as well have down syndrome, would probably even raise a happier kid. :rolleyes:

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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: Reblackah]
    #25977341 -



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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333]
    #25977364 -

I feel like you have some harbored past hurts LizardWizard. You don’t even know the full relationship dynamics we have. Yeah she may have did this or that, but it doesn’t make her any less able to be a mother to my child. I can sit here all day talking bad about someone... do you know her good side though? No.

It almost feels like you’re projecting because of something that happened in your past. Lots of good comes from having a baby. Sometimes the kids that have a rough childhood have more to teach the world. You may think it’s selfish or :tard: but I think it’s creating something new in a different way.

I’m sure by Thursday she won’t be pregnant. If she is I want us to keep it. She’s already had two abortions with our children. It would be my child. I know she hasn’t cheated for at least two years. I just know.

So if you, a person on the other side of a screen, want to judge my relationship so harshly, not even knowing the full story, then idk what to say to you... other than, I’m keeping my baby.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333] * 1
    #25977378 -

Other people (bod) have chimed in with similar thoughts to mine, no need to re-iterate that. But I have one thing to say about all this:

You talk about how her family life has worked in cycles of shitty parenting and abuse. You have acknowledged that the only person who can change someone is themselves.

Why would she break these cycles of abusive/shitty/toxic parenting/family if she hasn't done any work to break that cycle? Why would you want to give your child that kind of environment to grow up in?

It seems like a bad idea overall.




(PS as for the getting turned on by other guys fucking your partner, that's a pretty common thing. Look up cuckolding kinks. I know a few people into that, and they have a fucking blast at sex/bdsm clubs. It's pretty common/normal honestly.)


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: ShaperDreaming]
    #25977384 -

She had changed a lot though. She’s had relapses and falls back into similar patterns.. I was the first person to introduce her to psychedelics and it’s helped her a lot. People need to change themselves yes, but if I can be a part of that change, why not?

Maybe a baby isn’t a good idea right now... if she is pregnant I do want to keep it this time. She will be getting the birth control Thursday for sure.

I do have that kink slightly. I’d rather be open about it though and not have her do it behind my back. I think that’s the worst part is feeling betrayed. May check out one of those clubs sometime with her. They got a good sex club scene around here. Never been to one... I’m open to it though.


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Re: Just found out my partner has cheated on me several times [Re: MadHatter333]
    #25977396 -

MH3, has she gone to therapy? Self help books? Confronted her family? Gone to support groups? Anything similar? Or just done some psychs and thought about it?

Cuz doing work on your own will only go so far unless you have guidance or external support. You could make going to a support group once a month or something as part of the arrangement if you stick together. Just an idea.

MadHatter333 said:
I’d rather be open about it though and not have her do it behind my back. I think that’s the worst part is feeling betrayed. May check out one of those clubs sometime with her. They got a good sex club scene around here. Never been to one... I’m open to it though.


The thing I love about kink/bdsm is that it needs to be consentual. Fuckers aren't getting off on getting beaten because it's against their will and they feel like they're in danger, it's because there's the illusion of that in a controlled environment. Same with cuckold. Lot's of fuckers would sign up to help you two with that one.


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