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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25971713 -

You can bet if the cops found it, you would know. Get out and socialize, meet someone new, you will forget all about her before long and things will change for the better. Stop torturing yourself, stop focusing on shit you know was not healthy and move on. All the emotions that you are experiencing are normal and will pass.


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Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25972645 -

PurpleHaz said:
CURRENT EFFECTS:
Nose is clogged (always in one nostril)
burns when I blow it, Mucus clear with blood sometimes.
I feel I have phlegm in my lungs but when I cough, no.
Last night, I got pretty stoned and must've been paranoid but I fell asleep thinking about this strange feeling in my abs.
I keep getting in these moments where I'd get extremely cold and shiver uncontrollably.
Could just be the flu.



You consumed a bunch of posion and when you get symptoms of being sick you think you have the flu?

Dude. Go to a doctor. Stop doing drugs.

Get clean. That's step one, you have to do that, all these drugs are just fucking with your head more and making it more difficult for you to think clearly and find your life path. And then once you're clean you can start to work on you and find your place in this life. Then you can find happiness and people who make you happy.


I highly doubt the cat situation was as benign as you think it was. If it really was what you think it was then your ex was probably just at the end of her rope. Neither one of you sound like stable people.



Get help.
If you seek out help, physical and mental, it will look better for your legal troubles too. Probably much better.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #25972765 -

Thanks. I appreciate your responses. I had a good day today actually. I went to work and was feeling a little better. I only still have my nose clogged occasionally. Honestly about the drugs, I quit weed, tobacco about 9 weeks ago. I've been smoking weed a bit here or there since I've been back at my moms a week ago. I DID drink a bunch though. Since being here, I had a three day binge on hard liquor and been drinking beer before the Castor bean thing.

I know I quit weed for a reason, it had been giving me panic attacks. Couldn't control my emotions or think properly.
But now its just been because I'm depressed and its been working for that.

Today my nose has been sorta dry clogged.
I have felt dehydrated much more. Like my mouth will go very dry.
Tiny headaches for moments.

I'd honestly prefer not to go in to the hospital, Its embarrassing. Would be the Third time for suicide attempt.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz] * 1
    #25972791 -

PurpleHaz said:
I'd honestly prefer not to go in to the hospital, Its embarrassing. Would be the Third time for suicide attempt.



Yeah I'd go ahead and go anyway. Dealing with a suicide attempt will be a nice break for them. They spend their days digging things out of peoples asses, just be glad you're not that guy.


Then stop taking all drugs (including alcohol), come up with a plan for your life moving forward, then start making it happen.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz] * 2
    #25972836 -

PurpleHaz said:
Thanks. I appreciate your responses. I had a good day today actually. I went to work and was feeling a little better. I only still have my nose clogged occasionally. Honestly about the drugs, I quit weed, tobacco about 9 weeks ago. I've been smoking weed a bit here or there since I've been back at my moms a week ago. I DID drink a bunch though. Since being here, I had a three day binge on hard liquor and been drinking beer before the Castor bean thing.

I know I quit weed for a reason, it had been giving me panic attacks. Couldn't control my emotions or think properly.
But now its just been because I'm depressed and its been working for that.

Today my nose has been sorta dry clogged.
I have felt dehydrated much more. Like my mouth will go very dry.
Tiny headaches for moments.

I'd honestly prefer not to go in to the hospital, Its embarrassing. Would be the Third time for suicide attempt.


Hopefully you are ok. If you have stopped snorting the ricin, you might be fine. We love you please stop.


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"There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix


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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: sui]
    #25974303 -

What the  fuck dude. How about you do some exercise and breathing techniques to actual feel healthy.

A drug ain't going to magically make you healthy. You have to work for that, nothing good comes easy in life. It's a basic rule.

Cheers,
Bumbaa


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Why so much hate mate?

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Bumbaa]
    #25975048 -

I have stopped snorting the beans.. I obviously was in a dark place.
Every single suicide attempt I feel as though I leave the physical world and can only see things. Not feel them. Being done with the whole action before I think. Slicing my wrist open, taking ridiculous amounts of pills..

I went to get my stuff yesterday by police escort.. I was happy to see our dog briefly and get my things. The officer was very snappy with me and wouldn't let me ask her questions about where things are so I had to relay everything again for him to ask her.. Jeez. He threatened to cut it short if I kept persisting about how her brother uttered threats at me and didn't get an 'uttering threats' charge.

Anyways, Unknown by them, I have been in contact her on a secretive social app. She says she still cares about me and "really misses me" and "I feel like you just told me you have feeling still just to rope me back in and make me feel bad" She also says "I wish they would just discard those charges."

I feel like shes fucking with me. She packed two of the stuffed animals I gave her as gifts just to taunt me. Well it worked.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25975111 -

If she's the reason you have charges in the first place,  she can call the state attorney and have them dropped. I'm glad to hear that you are in a better place,  it sucks when relationships end ,but this woman is obviously not for you and I hope you learned a lesson and don't fall back into that trap. You are welcome to message me anytime, if there's anything I can do to help, I will, just get better.

Have you ever seen a counselor or psychiatrist/psychologist for your suicidal ideations/attempts? If so, were you honest with them?

It seems to me just reading this thread that you have an adjustment disorder and don't do well with change or stress, you can overcome this and have a normal life.  There is someone else out there that will treat you right and be the love of your life.

Hang in there my friend,  sounds like you are on your way out of the ditch and back on the highway of life. I just want to ask one thing of you, please, please, come here and vent next time instead of doing stupid shit to harm yourself.  There are plenty of people in this world that do care even though they've never seen or met you outside of this site. I would bet you have more people that care about you than you realize and you will be fucking them up by taking yourself out.

Best wishes my friend and good vibes,
Doc


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Doc9151]
    #25975133 -

Thanks Doc, I look forward to the responses here. This and her messages are the only things keeping me going. Only things to look forward to. I honestly think I'd be better off without her bullshit but I still miss her intensely. But it did take all this to get her to realize her errors. 

I'm embarrassed because of how little my issues probably seem to others on this site. But I appreciate the constructive comments and suggestions.

I live in Canada, is there seriously someone she can call to get the charges dropped? I mean, any information helps as this is my main stress er currently.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz] * 1
    #25975138 -

Be her friend, that's ok, but do NOT go back to her if she gives you the chance, not even for sex, unless maybe you're into grudge fucks, just kidding,  that would be a horrible mistake and set you back.

You got this!!!!!


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Doc9151]
    #25975498 -

Wait, what’s the point of snorting castor bean pulp? I’ve never heard of this.


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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Yonatin]
    #25975519 -

it has a deadly poison called ricin

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: AIRDOG]
    #25975612 -

I thought it was just in the seeds. So it’s a means of killing yourself?


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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Yonatin]
    #25975613 -

Well, he is still alive so...

But it definitely wasn't a good thing to do and who knows how close he came to being seriously dangerous.


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix


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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: sui]
    #25975742 -

the poison has the characteristic to not kill you instantly... it works slowly eating away at your organs death by ricin intoxication is a miserably painful way to go... there are better less painful ways of killing yourself

Edited by AIRDOG (05/06/19 01:15 PM)

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: AIRDOG] * 1
    #25977198 -

She found the Drugs I lost apparently. She says she doesn't want to press charges and I am trying to go to Anger management counselling. Hopefully that and possibly seeing a psychologist will look good If I make it to court. I am honestly still feeling miserable and feeling betrayed because I am still at my moms.

She keeps saying things like I still need time to reflect on the way I acted and how it affects her..
She says we shouldn't be talking about the things she did wrong..
Meanwhile there is a cause and effect for everything. She doesn't want to admit she pushed it with those cats but I had bylaw get involved since I was arrested, and now she can only keep two cats. I told her it was inevitable. The way our conversations have been going, I don't think I should ever get back with her. Even though she was my best and only friend for the last 3 years...

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz] * 1
    #25977413 -

:raisemyglass:


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: AIRDOG]
    #25977517 -

AIRDOG said:
the poison has the characteristic to not kill you instantly... it works slowly eating away at your organs death by ricin intoxication is a miserably painful way to go... there are better less painful ways of killing yourself


Actually, purified ricin will kill you quickly and it is easily absorbed into the skin, just touching a surface with ricin the  size of a grain of rice will kill in minutes.

Edit: I know this because I am trained in Chemical, biological and nuclear warfare and how to treat the effects of them.


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593

Edited by Doc9151 (05/07/19 10:08 AM)

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Doc9151]
    #25978869 -

Ricin and other  compounds that are in castor, are in the inner part of the bean.

They're mixed up and diluted in the oils of the beans.

Snorting castor bean once you have peeled them and ground the inner pulpy seed old into a dust that is fine enough to short successfully, would take like 20-30 beans I'm guessing. That is if you're not poisoning your self when you are processing plant matter.

Then, the bulk of that... That's like so much to snort. Considering the active lethal compounds are destroyed by heat, and are water soluble, if you really were trying to die horrifically and painfully, you would have put in a little more time on this.

Considering you have access to the plant, this was one half added attempt on your life.

Op, hitches be cray.

Stay happy, stop weighing down your mind about all of that bullshit. You could totally do a complete avoidance and  move on, life for YOU.


Oh and probably see a doctor for the whole miniscule dose of casteroil. That's like not healthy dawg.


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT


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