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I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it.
    #25963198 -

So I am just here to report the current effects...

Nose burns.
Feel myself getting amped up.
When I sneeze, its loud and heavy.

I've been arrested for the second time and I'm sick of dealing with this shit.
Police are sexist and you are guilty until proven innocent.
Was glad to be done with the first arrest without any charges, but now my catlady girlfriend had me removed from 'our' apartment about a week ago.
Yes I may have gotten drunk and threatened to throw a cat outside because it shat on our bed.. I blacked out and Know I for sure threw a table and threatened to take acid and shrooms earlier while we were having fun.
She ratted on me and claimed I pushed her over a cat tree..
She has the apartment now even though shes never paid a single cent in rent.

I think this is a much easier solution.
I also have access to her email, in case anyone has any Revenge Ideas...

Got Ricin from an undisclosed location.
I've been inhaling as much Seed pulp as I can, then going to take a fuck ton of Mirtazipine.


--------------------
Remember: "Life's a fucking trip. But this Acid Isn't real." :lsd:
"I've never gotten myself into anything remotely dangerous using Psychedelic drugs. . . . Does hoping a fence and hugging a bunch of cows count?" -ME
Smoking Cannabis on Acid is like putting water to a Hotplate.
DON'T SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!
NATURE IS GOD!


BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25963214 -

if she cant pay rent then she will get evicted. revenge'y enough?


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25965701 -

So, I woke up the day after doing this and Had a headache and my nose was clogged.
Went to work like nothing happened and started to feel weaker and weaker.
This morning I wake up with Flu like symptoms: Clammy, cold/hot, Headache, Major weakness, Dry mouth and lips and Sinus' clogged.

Staying home today, seems like a good way to initiate sickness. No stomach cramps or anything yet.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25965923 -

Call the ambulance if you want to live, because ricin is by no means a good way to go.

Save yourself NOW.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25966050 -

Pretty sure u did it wrong...tho I'm not going to instruct you on the right way cuz if u think your life sucks now, 2 weeks of sheer agony before biting it, there are much better ways to end it that dont involve a horrible couple weeks 1st.

I used to want to die all the time, but not anymore...I'm still broken but I have a family now...I hope you find something that makes u happy.


--------------------
aka NHMI

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: rizingfire]
    #25966051 -

I would go get the treatment just in case...theres a reason no one commits suicide that way...


--------------------
aka NHMI

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: rizingfire]
    #25966122 -

"Ricin is classified as a type 2 ribosome-inactivating protein (RIP)."

RIP


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix


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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: sui] * 2
    #25966236 -

There are tribes that make a criminal consume deadly seeds, and if the seeds don't kill them, the tribes believe that the Great Spirits have wanted them to live because they figure that "nobody dies before their time".

We had a shroomerite once who literally got a case of the Gun In Mouth Blues, who put a pistol with a factory-made cartridge to his head and pulled the trigger. The hammer struck the primer with full force but the primer refused to discharge. He interpreted this that God broke the laws of physics to save him because God wanted him here. A sign.

We had a Shroomerite who took a 10-fold OD of a gnarly drug. He had mistaken the position of the decimal. Our resident class clown at the time caught the mistake and kept urging him to GET HELP NOW. He managed to persuade him. Had he not, the guy would probably have lost fingers, toes or even limbs - or their life.

You are the fourth.

GET HELP NOW. If God wants you to die at least you'll die in a cloud of morphine and midazolam, instead of possibly die writhing in agony.

You took the ticket and took the ride to what might be your death. This may be a gnarly death or an euthanasia in the hospital. As you know there is no antidote against ricin, but the medics may indeed make your possible passing over more peaceful.


We can only do what is destined to be.


What I'm doing is tell you to CALL FOR EMERGENCY MEDICAL HELP.

Even if you cannot be helped, science will learn more through you about ricin, which as you know is a bioterrorism weapon we will see more of in the future.

If you're gonna die then die you will, but I must stress you to GET HELP NOW.

If you do die, you can get your atonement on the Other Side because, yes, it exists.



GET HELP.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Asante] * 2
    #25966238 -

Listen to Asante!


--------------------

"There is never a wrong note, bend it." Jimi Hendrix


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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Asante]
    #25966356 -

Asante said:
if the seeds don't kill them, the tribes believe that the Great Spirits have wanted them to live because they figure that "nobody dies before their time".


I had people tell me a similar thing when I ate some Amanita Muscaria FRESH behind my school. "True Shamans can walk away without stomach cramp"
I am surely not a shaman but there was no cramps for me whatsoever.

I'm not sure what to add, except this is the sickest I've felt in a long time. Its kind of relaxing and miserable at the same time. My body convulses when I get slightly cold and I keep sneezing blood out my nose. Everytime I wake up, my mouth is extremely dry and I am dehydrated.

I appreciate the advice everyone, but sometimes we suffer more staying and getting dragged along for a miserable life.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25966373 -

:frown:

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: sui]
    #25967236 -

Sad to watch man. I totally understand as I just made a post on a suicide subforum. Not taking action on it at the moment, but I certainly feel it and understand it. Hope your suffering ends in this life or the next, regardless of what happens. But I also hope you've thought this long and hard and didn't just get caught in the pain of the moment. It can be a convincing pain, but it's not forever.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #25967247 -

Now that I read this again... you're doing this because of the lady? I totally understand that too, but this is a temporary situation if that's the main issue. If you decide this again in a month so be it. But I feel like you should at least exit the stressful situation before making permanent decisions. Best of luck

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #25967253 -

i can't understand why so many people think "staying course" and "playing it out" are solutions to clinical depression.  also, i dont know why people think our human existence is the "be all, end all" of a true happy life...  we cannot explain why we are humans and we cannot explain what death is... or what living is, for that matter.

do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.


--------------------
🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25969505 -

I'm not sure playing it out will make things any better. I have 2 counts of assault, 2 counts of Mischief and one of Uttering threats..

I can't handle this shit anymore and I thought she cared about me but She was a cat lady. Its because I tried to remove one of her cats that night because of shitting on my bed. Now shes trying to forget about me and go on with her life. I can't stand the thought of her with another guy, or her friends or family talking shit about me because I helped her get out of her family situation where she was molested.

She can handle paying the rent on her own now I guess because she is staying so the landlord told me.
I called Bylaw enforcement to get her pets removed to show her it was inevitable. (8 cats 1 large dog).

I really miss the dog too.
I can't go through another court trial build up.
Also I don't see myself falling in love again, I had given up too much for her and now I am a miserable sack of shit. I don't even have one friend that would actually meet up with me in person, even if I begged.

CURRENT CASTOR BEAN EFFECTS:
3 different days I snorted. (Including the first report and the one where I went to work after)

Every time I wake, my mouth is so dry.
Every time I stand, my head pounds so bad I have to hold my left temple.
A migraine has began today and it throbs in that same spot.
My nose is clogged most of the time, when I blow it there's usually a tiny bit of blood.
3rd day off work today (I'm assuming because of the rain, only called in twice)
I still wish I would just die, too bad its not a fast process to buy a gun in Canada.
I don't plan on writing up a will or suicide note.
If anything I'd like to arrange to be buried in one of the biodegrading coffins that turns your body into mushrooms. .

I don't have anything going for me. I hate my mom. I don't have my dad around. (Major disadvantage throughout my life) and ZERO friends. I'm not even being picky either. I just hate how people are so good at acting like they care. I haven't told anyone about my suicide attempt currently ongoing except this community.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25969735 -

I have been there, but your issues seem tiny in comparrison to the shit I went through...there are just easier ways to die that dont involve a miserable death...one so bad that its banned from use in warfare for a reason...your luck, you will probably not die, but instead cause permanent damage which further makes your life suck worse.

I spent years wishing I was dead. I battled heroin & cocaine, hated my family and the only person I ever really loved turned on me and strung me along for years...I felt nothing but constant pain....loneliness, etc...but eventually I met my wife, had a daughter and things got better.

If you do want to die, do it quick...what purpose does torturing yourself serve? I feel for you, I really do...I wish I had an answer...I had my own God experience that changed everything for me...I can only hope you have an epiphony and/or find another way...you need to get the treatment while u can or just shoot some air into a vein or something, but living through your organs breaking down until it kills you is agony...

People obviously care about you here...please, reconsider...no one chooses to die via ricen for a reason...


--------------------
aka NHMI

Edited by rizingfire (05/03/19 08:26 AM)

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: rizingfire]
    #25969743 -

you can get charges expunged after like a decade...You will likely get probation unless a history of the same charges


--------------------
aka NHMI

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: rizingfire] * 2
    #25970702 -

Dude, fucking man up, I was married 20yrs thought she was my soul mate, mother of my 4 children and now, we are divorced.  Bitch left after I had a couple strokes and 1 of our children died.

I have had to learn pretty much everything over, like walking, feeding myself,  dressing, wiping my own ass, lost my career that I sacrificed for and so much more but you know what, life got better when I started doing something different,  I met my true soul mate, the real love of my life and you can too.

Living takes work, death is cheap and easy with absolutely zero guarantees, but life has all sorts of wonderful shit and I have decided that I don't want to miss it and I owe it all to psilocybe species and a little LSD.

Tripping has almost always shown me how beautiful life is, even when things suck, it's a lesson and growing experience when shit sucks, the growth we acquire afterwards is also beautiful because we learn to cope when things really aren't all that bad. Think about it, you should have been born 80 -100 years ago and suffered in a concentration camp or some crazy shit like that, I'll take my menial problems any day over something like that.

I'm sure if you really think about it, your ex has been telling you it was coming,  we just don't always listen to what actually is being said to us. You will meet someone else that will make you stop worrying about the other one and you will be better off, especially if you actually learn from your mistakes and admit your mistakes as well.


--------------------


Psilocybe cubensis data collection thread. please help with this project if you hunt wild cubensis.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=26513593&page=0&vc=1#26513593

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: Doc9151]
    #25971507 -

I'm not sure what went wrong in my life at the moment.

I'd complain about her and all the 8 cats but now I have no one and can't help but feel like losing that was a really big mistake.

But there is still validity in my argument against her.. If we had kids, things could get a lot worse if she can't make decisions focusing on ones health like that.

All I can think about is how much I miss my old life, even though when I was in it I was miserable too. Constantly wondering If I should move on from her.
I have been messaging her getting some clarity, I feel bad about calling bylaw on her and those cats but she has a problem and this will force her to figure it out. (She can only keep 2 and the dog)
But all I can think is how much I want to be close to her..
I need a fucking hug!!!

I won't know how to handle it if she starts seeing someone new.

CURRENT EFFECTS:
Nose is clogged (always in one nostril)
burns when I blow it, Mucus clear with blood sometimes.
I feel I have phlegm in my lungs but when I cough, no.
Last night, I got pretty stoned and must've been paranoid but I fell asleep thinking about this strange feeling in my abs.
I keep getting in these moments where I'd get extremely cold and shiver uncontrollably.
Could just be the flu.

The only things I'm looking forward to are going to get my stuff and say Hi to the doggo..  I have to have police escort so they better keep out of my business.
I'm also looking forward to going to see a film with a friend that asked me.

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Re: I've been snorting Castor Bean Pulp. Hopefully this is it. [Re: PurpleHaz]
    #25971513 -

Also believe the night I was arrested, I must have had 3 hits of LSD blotter and about 1 gram of shrooms on me in vials...
She can't find it anywhere in the apartment so I either lost it or they found it when they searched my jacket and just didn't tell me.

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