Okay so I’m gonna share my first bad trio experience I had with mushrooms that scared the living shit out of me, but now looking back at it I can laugh at myself about it and shrooms in general.
Okay so I’m not sure if this contributed to my bad trip or not but I just finished a 40 hour work week (doing landscaping) and decided to end my Friday night with a 5 dried grams of cubensis. I have the basement as my room and it was late , so I wasn’t worried about being caught by my mom or anything. Everything was good. My set and setting were pretty good and I was ready to have a blissful trip. So I like to either meditate on the come up, listen to music or watch videos or a show to keep my emotions positive, and it’s worked fine. I laid on my bed for most of the trip just listening to music as many of you know how you can feeeeeeeel the music and even see it. All was going good.
I did random shit I can’t remember what but I ended up sitting on my couch and just started thinking about whatever the shrooms wanted me to. I remember the first time I did shrooms the guy I worked with told me “if you start thinking for too long, without distractions, the trip will go bad”. I realize now that it was my ego dissolving and I couldn’t let go to the attachments I had to my being (despite how painful some stuff was) it was all I knew and the fear of not being me was forcing me to fight the trip which makes it go bad. At this point I’m having a full blown panic attack. Thoughts and feelings flooding my mind and I didn’t know what to do. I tried distracting myself again but it was too late. I then proceeded to just get in bed turn off all lights and tried to ride his out. Big mistake. The darkness allowed hallucinations and my imagination to run wild. I remember hearing scary sounds that weren’t there and seeing a white ball of energy floating towards me. I then started having thoughts that I’m in a simulation and that nothing is real and everyone in my life isn’t real. I truly 100% felt I had discovered the truth that I was in a simulation and that I was rejecting the “matrix” I felt something was going to happen and I was going to be disconnected from it or soemthing no clue honestly. It felt so real tho.
I went to the bathroom to piss and I glanced in the mirror(BIG MISTAKE) I didn’t like what I saw. Usually low does of shrooms make me feel more confident about myself and I look really handsome in the mirror. Not now tho i looked kind of like me but an ugly version that I despised. I sprang up and sprinted to grab my phone and not being in the right state of my mind, I tried calling my gf (the time was like 3am I believe) out of fear to see if I was just tricking myself. Instead of calling her cellphone, I called her disconnected house line, which made the dew dew dew dew dew sound followed by the robotic women saying” we’re sorry the number you’re trying to reach is disconnected” further making me believe my simulation theory. HOLY SHIT THIS WAS MY BREAKING POINT I though that was her cellphone that was disconnected because I had the realization that everything was fake and they removed everyone from my life. But hearing that damn voice scared the living shit out of me I sprinted to my moms room to make sure my family wasn’t gone too.
Now she doesn’t know about shrooms or that I’m on them for that matter, so just realizing what I’ve done I say I’m having an anxiety attack and feel scared right now and she then proceeds to comfort me and I’m able to hide I’m on shrooms as I think the fear brought down the trip I believe. I felt like a total bitch running to my moms room (I’m 20 years old) but she didn’t think twice. I thought I could handle shrooms myself without a sitter or anything, but that trip surely humbled me and I will not abuse them again.
I rode the rest of the trip down and still in fear didnt go to sleep until hours later. I have better acceptance over shrooms now. I don’t want to say control because if u try to control the trip it will turn bad. Simply surrender yourself to it and it the trip should be fine. Just let it take you where it wants. I now hold the advice of Terrence Mackenna tightly and that’s to avoid external stimuli to your senses. No movies no games no moving. Sit or lay somewhere it darkness and enjoy the trip for itself. Go within and heal un resolved traumas. I fucking still love shrooms and they amaze the fuck out me. I will continue to explore the deepest recesses of my mind and face
My Demons, will you?
Edited by ShrooMan2222 (09/17/18 06:48 PM)
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
ShrooMan2222 
TheUltimateBohab 
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 all )
Trip_Out_7
Anonymous
