Well, on my 21st birthday, I decided to take some shrooms.  My trip report: I'll only give the highlights. I'm also going to type what I wrote in my journal while tripping. It helps me to write, especially if the comeup is hard, like it was on Friday.
I planned to take 4.5 dry grams with my husband, Kevin. He was going to take 4 dry grams. It is the largest dose I personally have ever taken. I was a bit nervous about it, but I definately wanted to do it. It was my birthday, after all.
Anyway, after I ingested the mushies, I started feeling the first effects, so I slowly (because the pen felt weird) began describing how I was feeling in my journal. This is what I wrote:
A sensation in my limbs An awareness in my brain ...a buzzing ...some pressure A ringing A throbbing A flowering of.. everything.....
Thats when things started to get intense. I started drawing arrows pointing up with the words 'up' all around them. I also drew an arrow with the words 'savior' and 'love' around it.
The comeup was really hard. I began feeling very scared. I wrote the following during this time:
A small place inside Don't look back ...Don't worry okay? Go... Beyond
Juno Reactor started playing and all of a sudden I began thinking of God. Then of Adam and Eve, and while everything was swirling around me in vibrant, intense colors I began to think that in this frame of mind, the story of Adam and Eve seemed so possible...so beautiful. The thoughts were racing...it was incredible.
I could barely type at this point, but I managed to move the pen at certain times during the explosion of thinking and I wrote:
GOD Adam-Eve S O U L everything is So much more of the world
Alice in Wonderland Passion of a flower Purple-Honey Lorebook rainbow Eat love Soft Glow
At a certain point, I started to feel scared again. I had so many doubts, so many unsettling thoughts. So I took a few deep breaths, laid down on my back and stared at my warping ceiling. It was pulsing and collapsing and then spreading out again in so many amazing colors and patterns. In the darkness, I began offering myself to the ceiling, I began pleading with the mushroom, God, anyone to help me get out of this hell. My face was wet with tears. I wanted to be reborn...I wanted to be guided. I didn't want to resist the power of the mushroom. Somehow I knew that if I resisted it would only be worse, so I gave myself entirely. I committed my mind and being to the overwelming experience of this trip.
Afterward, I felt wonderful and renewed, as though I had been ground up and spit back out as a new person. From then on out, the trip was AWESOME. My anxiety disappeared and my thoughts were tranquil and harmonious. Everything was glowing and melting and shifting. The music made my mind feel like it was basking in the heat of some glorious orgasm.
I started thinking about life...my thoughts had a calmness to them. I began just marveling at the complexity of it all...our lives, and our eventual death. The sensations I was recieving from these thoughts were staggering. I was simply overwelmed...
At one point, I was listening to Blackmore's Night, and staring up at the ceiling and I cried out in utter amazement as the world transformed around me. My ceiling was melting and shifting again...women stared back at me, ivory complexions and luminous golden hair tinted with rainbows. They multiplied until what seemed thousands of women were dancing and kissing in fluid movement. I began to see young children cradled in their arms, and the women and children were kissing with no inhibitions. It was so beautiful and touching. They shifted and shifted, melted and then rose again anew. Along with the women and children, long stemmed mushrooms sprouted up in stunning motion and flowers wavered and blossomed in the glow of that fabulous rainbow of color. It was just unbelievable. I think I cried then too because I've never seen anything so beautiful.
This is what I wrote around that time:
Sky maidens Golden children Rebirth Smirking mushroom A faceted window to the soul!
I began feeling like I was living a dream, and I wrote that down too. Everything was so wonderful...it was truly an amazing experience. Later, when I was coming down, I went outside and everything was strangely beautiful. I found my stairway to be a work of art, and the naked trees in the yard next to us were stunning.
All and all, this experience has taught me so much. I loved it. I had a great birthday.
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