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 Jenny
part of thewhole
 
Registered: 06/02/00
Posts: 5,614
Loc: Columbus, OHIO
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 Haunted by the past 
#2222191 - 01/06/04 01:41 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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What do you do if something you've done in teh past is so bad that you can't just "let it go?" you can forget it? you can't stop having nightmares about it. you wake up crying sometimes for what you've done. you can't even tell people what you've done because its so bad ??????????????????
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Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated than that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.
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 cheech101
most likely alittle hazy
Registered: 05/02/03
Posts: 155
Loc: The Dark Side of the Moon
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2222243 - 01/06/04 02:18 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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try meditation and changing what you dont like about yourself. Do something nice for someone else.
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"Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be."
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shaggy101
Registered: 08/16/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2222305 - 01/06/04 03:15 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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God Jenny I know what you mean 
I have been hauted by this one thing horribly..its like all the other bad shit means nothing..if I could just make this one thing go away I would be fine..ya know??
I am sure you have thought it thru plenty of times..I say talk to some one about it.
If it were me and mine I would do this anonymously online.. on a message board like this.
I wouldnt say here because it seems people know you..but we are definately here if you would like 
It sucks ass that we cant change the past, but it does seem to be soo.
read some stuff and(spiritual or otherwise) and come to terms with it in your head..maybe do one of them symbolic cleansing things...more than anything get it out though.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2222410 - 01/06/04 06:24 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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"but the butt-hole surfers said it's better to regret something you did than somethin you didn't do"
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Dreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 16 years, 9 months
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 Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2222471 - 01/06/04 07:42 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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I know what you mean. I never knew the meaning of guilt untill i turned 11.
That one thing was stuck in my head, so not a day went by were i didn't think about it and loath myself. Then somewhere around 13 or 14. With the help of psychedelics, and soul searching i learned to let it go.
Now i can think about it totally indiferently. With time your wounds will heal. Just remember that whatever you did is in the past. Instead of trying to forget it or hate it. Try to look it right in the eye. Eat some mushrooms, and sit down and Think about it.
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Psilozero
StonedGuitar/BassPlayer
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 106
Loc: mile high
Last seen: 17 years, 5 months
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2223064 - 01/06/04 12:28 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jenny said:
What do you do if something you've done in teh past is so bad that you can't just "let it go?" you can forget it? you can't stop having nightmares about it. you wake up crying sometimes for what you've done. you can't even tell people what you've done because its so bad ??????????????????
The biggest regret I have so far is letting go of the love of my life.
Time may seem to heal wounds, but some just keep opening up.
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Jenny
part of thewhole
Registered: 06/02/00
Posts: 5,614
Loc: Columbus, OHIO
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Dreamer987]
#2224394 - 01/06/04 09:40 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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thanks for the advice guys!
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Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated than that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.
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beanchild
bean
Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 158
Last seen: 19 years, 10 months
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2224950 - 01/07/04 02:05 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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I did something when I was soooo young that was sooo horrible but as I look back i don't hate myself for it because i was too young to know any better at the time! I didn't really know what I was doing!
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Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: 
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: beanchild]
#2224994 - 01/07/04 02:31 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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consider yourself lucky that you were young, then. at least you have a better chance at forgetting/healing.
live life with no regrets, guys.  it's not good to dwell on the past.
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enotake2
Stop Bush's war
Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2227233 - 01/08/04 12:40 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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It sounds a bit like PTSD and you might be able to find some info on the internet about how to get over it. If it is - things that are supposed to help are meditation and talking about it to someone as others said here. It is a stress disorder so meditation will lower your levels of arousal. Talking about it helps you externalise it and become desensitised to it. Decatastrophising can also help - that is, paying attention to the negative thoughts you are having about the experience and finding reasons why things are temporary, situational and not personal to you. Counselling with someone specialising in PTSD can also be good. Sometimes, depresssion, anxiety (eg. panic) or difficulty getting to sleep or getting back to asleep can be a problem and techniques that help with these problems also work if they occur with PTSD.
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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium
"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
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Zero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland
Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2228376 - 01/08/04 01:06 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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Maybe its something you need to forgive yourself for? Something that you need to clear up inside your own heart? Maybe then you will be able to talk about it with the one closest to you, if it is then still too bad, see a good counselor, someone that will listen and that you know that cares.
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What?
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THATS iT!
mellow
Registered: 12/26/02
Posts: 225
Loc: In the misty mountains o...
Last seen: 20 years, 7 months
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Jenny]
#2229459 - 01/08/04 07:44 PM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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Look at the good side. At least you know what you did is real. Sometimes I have vivid memories that I think are real, but then come to check on them and they never happened. Imagine the dissappointment. This has happened in an exponential fashion for several years. One dream spawns another. Craziness. At least you have your sanity. To loose touch with reality and your memory is the purest hell. Some things you just have to move past. To go forward in life without misery, the past must be accepted as the past. However I can never move past the dreams because they are real to me. I have horrible instances haunting my past that I know are real, that people confirm. It keeps me up at night, so you are not alone. The guilt means you are human. I pity the people who feel no guilt, for they have no soul.
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encryptor
Registered: 05/15/03
Posts: 1,176
Last seen: 4 days, 23 hours
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Re: Haunted by the past [Re: Dreamer987]
#2233135 - 01/10/04 11:50 AM (20 years, 8 months ago) |
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hey i agree with this guy. with the help of shrooms and some time to yourself, you could really think things over and straighting your head out.
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