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OfflineSnow_Goose
Stranger
Registered: 12/25/04
Posts: 2
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Coping with past Experiences
    #3542600 - 12/25/04 08:22 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Hello all!

I have a very large problem in my life right now. It's been difficult for me to get the courage to post anything about it, because I'm still.. embarrassed.. I guess, about the whole situation.

About a month and a half ago, I got myself into a world of problems in a very short time. One night, I was drunk, and my friend and I drove to a gas station to get a pack of cigarettes. While my friend was inside, I stood outside having a smoke, and a black guy and I "approached each other" and he asked if I wanted to buy any pot. I was actually looking for pot at that very moment, so I took the opportunity (bad choice). I don't think I would have normally done this had I not been drunk... at least, I hope I wouldn't have.

Throughout the night, I gave him rides to houses where he was supposed to get my pot, and blah blah blah.. it turned into a much larger event than I had wished. At the end of the night, he had somehow suckered me out of hundreds of dollars. It was a combination of me being drunk, and my misplaced trust in this guy. He had my cell phone number, and at the end of the night, just got out of my car and told me he'd call in the morning. I couldn't get him to come back. I was scared, and furious at the same time.. I did not expect a call back in the morning, obviously. I kept my phone on anyway, and he ended up calling me in the morning. I was so relieved.

This was the day that I realized I was dealing with a crack addict. We ended up going on seemingly random adventures around the city, and I was coerced (read: intimidated) into giving hundreds more to this guy and his friends.

That night, I went to my home in a different city, following this guy who said he would still get me my pot (which had now escalated to a QP and some other drugs he had promised me.. I just wanted out of the situation). When we got to the city, he told me to go to my place and he would call me later. Once again, I hated the sound of it but it seemed I had no choice in the matter.

He did call me, but I was already on my way back to the original city, at 4:30am, because I had gotten a call demanding that I come pay this other guy who had written a check to my name and put it in my ATM account without me even asking him to. I was told that if I didn't show up, they'd come looking for me (and they had access to my address, because of a receipt from a store they had acquired).. I was threatened with a car stealing, theft, etc etc.

When I finally showed up to pay them the "owed" money, there was a whole group of Italian men in an unmarked van waiting for me in case I didn't have any cash. Three of the guys looked about my age (nineteen), and I was told they were ready to pull me into that van at any moment if I tried anything.

I ended up losing around $4000 in the entire three days that I was harassed by these people, and had to crawl to my parents, explaining what happened and how much trouble I was in.

At the time that all this happened, I was on a court ordered probation, and didn't want to tell the police about what had happened for two reasons: 1) I would be kicked out of my program and sent to prison. 2) The theives knew where I lived, and if they found word of me ratting anyone out, I would be found and who knows what might have happened to me.

So, now I will get to the real point of this excessively long and traumatic story.

It's been almost two months since all this happened, and I am plagued every day by these events.. I have not told my friends out of fear and pride. I have talked to a therapist once about it.. he didn't have much to add or suggest about how I should cope..

Every day, at least once, I relive some part of those three days in my mind. I may see something that reminds me of one of the thieves. I may read something that reminds me of my feelings of shame and inadequacy. I may just be trying to go to sleep, and my mind will wander to those men and the three days of stress that I endured.

I have come to you people in this forum for any suggestions about how to deal with this. I am suffering every day, and want to come to terms with what happened, but do not know how or where to start. What can I do to make peace with myself?

Please, I do not want anyone trashing me for my past decisions that I have shared with you in this post. I do not want to hear "you should have kicked their asses," or "Don't be a pussy." I AM a pussy. I'm sorry. I stand up for what I believe, but there is no way I would have tried anything physical with a group of armed crack fiends and Italians in vans.

The worst part about my story now is that I am scared of being in public anywhere that I saw the thieves, I still worry at times being alone in my own apartment, and the city that I was robbed in has changed from a peaceful, beautiful place to a city I am afraid to even step in for fear of seeing the men that stole from me..

:sad:


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InvisibleBi0TeK
elephant man

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 3,002
Loc: Yorkshire Moors, Great Br...
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: Snow_Goose]
    #3542773 - 12/25/04 09:30 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Shit, that must have been a terrifying experience. I once had a similar experience with a crack head in a notoriously dodgy area in St Pauls (Bristol, England). We pulled over and asked this black guy directions and he ended up putting a knife to my throat, car jacking us and stealing all our cash and the clothes we were wearing!

Your anxiety will pass over time. I'd practicaly forgotten about the experience until your post reminded me of it.


--------------------
PROMOTE BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: Snow_Goose]
    #3542897 - 12/25/04 10:15 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

I don't believe the story, but it made me chuckle anyway so I thank you.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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OfflineSnow_Goose
Stranger
Registered: 12/25/04
Posts: 2
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3542930 - 12/25/04 10:26 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Believe what you want, it really doesn't matter.. the story is completely true. I can go into more detail if you have any questions, but I didn't want to type a book..

And I sure hope that time heals this, Bi0Tek.. thanks for the kind words. :smile:


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: Snow_Goose]
    #3542955 - 12/25/04 10:33 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

You don't have to do whatever black people tell you to do just cause they're black.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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InvisibleHendostan
Male

Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,441
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3542987 - 12/25/04 10:50 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

question_for_joo said:
You don't have to do whatever black people tell you to do just cause they're black.



that's pretty irrelevant

anyway, you got totally screwed over, there is no getting around that. you just have to own up to the fact that you fucked up and start making your money back. i highly doubt anyone is going to mess with you further, they already robbed you for all you had and scared the shit out of you. i'm sure you'll never hear from them again. all you can really do is suck it up and learn from it. stay away from shady crack fiends, and only buy drugs from people you know who are reliable :shrug: there's not much to do but move on


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OfflineSWEDEN
Miracle of Science

Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 2,577
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: question_for_joo]
    #3542992 - 12/25/04 10:54 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Don't buy drugs from random people. It's important to have a dealer who you can trust.

Would you buy shrooms from a random person and risk getting shitake-ed or killed?

If you are worried about your saftey, always have some friends with you when you are out at night. Get a concealed weapon permit if you can... well you probably can't. Just carry a concealed weapon and hope you don't run into any pigs.

And don't tell the pigs what happened, they will just try to get names and places from you and possibly get you in more trouble.

It sounds like this crackhead was just stringing you along, brushing by all his connections to get more rock. And suckering you out of a bunch of money in the process.

My final suggestion: Move away from whatever rotten city you live in and come to the Northwest/Canada.


--------------------


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InvisibleHendostan
Male

Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,441
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: SWEDEN]
    #3543004 - 12/25/04 10:59 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

My final suggestion: Move away from whatever rotten city you live in and come to the Northwest/Canada.




:thumbup: love the pnw


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: Coping with past Experiences [Re: Snow_Goose]
    #3543693 - 12/26/04 05:00 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

It sounds like you were really traumatised by the experience. It's important that you really work out what is causing you anxiety and try to challenge the thoughts you are having. For example if you are worried about the guys returning to your house, you could think of all the evidence against them returning - how long it has been since you saw them, the fact that they screwed you over big time and you would be unlikely to trust them again, they would figure you prob hate their guts, may even have a weapon in case they return, might have moved house. Maybe it would be worth moving house if you are scared of them. What would really happen if they saw you? What could you do to keep yourself safe if you did? Sending your mind on different pathways to make the thoughts less threatening means that when something reminds you of the event you wont automatically think the worst. It might also be a good idea to meditate to reduce your baseline levels of anxiety so you won't be as easily stressed my reminders of the experience. It might be reassuring to know that most trauma is resolved within three months, though these things I mentioned will help to speed up the process. I have been traumatised in the past and I did lots of research and went to a psychologist and these are the things that helped me. Let me know if you want any more info.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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