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 theElephantman
E L E P H A N T
Registered: 10/23/03
Posts: 1
Last seen: 20 years, 3 days
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 uneaten and yet barely breathing... 
#2215873 - 01/02/04 10:01 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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is how i feel.
the reason im posting this is i have this need to get it off my chest, but i was asked not to. so, i suppose its alright if i discuss it anonymously on a message board with total strangers and hopefully unbiased opinions.
Meet my girlfiend. when she and i got together, we were both virgins. At first, we used condoms because i thought it the safest and wisest thing to do. Then, as the sex in our relationship turned toward a more 'ritual' or often-occuring routine i started not using condoms.
i then realized the idiocy in that idea, so my girlfriend went to her family doctor and is now on birth control (the pill). So, we've been having sex for quite some time without a condom. especially, since we are renting a house together.
the dilemna at hand:
my girlfriends life is basically going to school (college) and work (shitty waitress job) all day. she never has time to do any of the activites i get involved in, and half expects me to not do them because she cant. one of the only real faults she has is this HUge jealousy ordeal. because of the jealousy flaw, she thinks i fool around with females at some of the gatherings i attend (festivals, partys...) even though i've told her i have never cheated on her and will tell her the day i do.
*drones on*
so, one day my jobs fires me. i was hired on as a temp, worked there for over 3 months, and to make a long story short was fired because i didnt meet the corporate standard on appearance. my friend who had been working with had been working there for over 6 months, and was a full time employee. they fired him the next day because he "didn't meet" their "expectations". I just turned 19, i have long hair, and we were the youngest people there. ok... enough justifying my elimination.
*drones on*
so, the day my friend A got fired he showed up at my house with friend B. Friend A had shaved half his head in out-right personal rebellion for the injustice done to him. (they even fired us a week before christmas.) Friend A, had this sporatic and spontaneous idea of going to Daytona for the night and dropping acid. I was in a depressed state and went along because it was something i needed to do. believe it or not, it was theraputic. my girlfriend went to work on bad terms with me, so i left her a note that i was leaving for the night and i would be back tomorrow. needless to say, i walked the beach till sunrise and was back in the morning.
to "repay" me for the night i had, on my girlfriends night off of work she went with a friend to a "club" in orlando. it was her first time going to a club and it is not her scene at all, but she wanted to rebel agaisnt me. she was envious of all the times i went to "have fun" with my friends. the difference in what my girlfriend did is that she told me she would be back that night, so i stayed up until 5 AM waiting for her to come home. I went to sleep and she shows up around 11 am. I can sense that she's upset in some way, but i assumed it was because she was assuming i was mad about her absence for the whole night and morning. i asked her what she did, and i even asked her if she cheated on me. she said no, and that was good enough for me.
she had spent the night in a motel.
*drones on*
since my girlfriend is a waitress, she is constantly being hit on by other men. what she didnt tell me about that night, and what she just broke down and told me yesterday is that she, in a moment of dislike for me, invited one of the older guys that always hits on her with her to the club. she had sex with a man around the age of 36 years old. my girlfriend, who is always jealous... who constantly ridicules me if a girl talks to me... who claims she still and will always loves me... who Claims the man took 'advantage' of her... intimidated her... she claims that she didnt like it and just sat there while he penetrated her...
the worst of it, she didnt use a condom. i credit that to us not having used a condom for about 94 percent of our sex life, and her having birth-control. the worst of it all is, she didnt tell me and had sex with me afterwards... not using a condom. yesterday, when she told me is almost a month later. we've had sex atleast twice since that night. my girlfriend is a fucking idiot. what if this guy has HIV or some other kind of STD? when i brought that up, she burst into tears because she never even considered the possibility. especially, when i pointed out that she fucked me over by having sex with me afterwards. What do you think the chances of this older guy had an STD of some sort? most importanly, what if this guy has HIV or AIDs? Do you think someone who knowingly has HIV would have unprotected sex with a 19 yr old female? would anyone be that selfish... that ignorant? i told her to set up an appointment for a test. she called a 1-800 number and they said the price for both an HIV and STD test would cost somewhere around 300 dollars. she cant go to her family doctor because she fears the doctor talking to her parents about the results (especially if it comes back positive for drugs). am i over-reacting? why was she so fucking stupid? she's even briefly talked about killing herself if she finds out she has HIV and she ruined my life with her own selfish blind stupidity.
i think my fate will be a paranoia for some years to come. i've heard that HIV can not show up for a couple years, and the lady at the 1-800 number said something about atleast 4-months. the whole possibility of it truly teriffies me because its totally unexpected.
apologies for droning on, and thanks for listening.
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Anonymous #1
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 Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: theElephantman]
#2216064 - 01/03/04 12:26 AM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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/
Edited by shaos (04/09/11 03:34 PM)
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
 
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 7 months, 26 days
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 Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: theElephantman]
#2216453 - 01/03/04 09:24 AM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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Look up and go to planned parenthood I think they do the HIV/STD tests very cheaply or free because it is subsidized by the government. Also I wouldn't let it get to you to much about the guy having HIV worrying won't accomplish anything and anyways the vast majority of people with HIV especially in Florida are gay. BTW what area do you live in its nice to see a new floridian on the board.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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windowlicker42
member
Registered: 06/01/03
Posts: 129
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: theElephantman]
#2216638 - 01/03/04 12:05 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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if i was you i would tell that girl to get the fuck out of my life. what she did is the epitome of hypocrisy.
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THATS iT!
mellow
Registered: 12/26/02
Posts: 225
Loc: In the misty mountains o...
Last seen: 20 years, 1 month
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: theElephantman]
#2217288 - 01/03/04 07:17 PM (20 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have been in that situation before. You have several options. Your relationship can learn from this, or you could end it. If you love her you will learn. You could take a break from your relationship. This acts as a form of punishment. Also you get to wait and see if she has anything. But you have to set standards for your break, such as no sex for anyone. This will also restore trust. By this you tell her that you trust her to be honest and true to you. Once trust is restored you must find a way to maintain it. You need to set a specified time for restoration of the relationship, so that hope is not lost. During this break she will be faced with many temptations and so will you. It is your responsibility to each other to resist these. Spite is a horrible emotion that can destroy relationships. I think the fact that it was out of spite is even worse than the action. Trust is the most important thing to a healthy relationship. If she cant trust you then you dont need to be with her. If she is feeling guilt then she knows it was wrong. Hopefully she will learn from that. Guilt means she is human. That is good. You need to look her in the eyes and say it will be allright. If you can do that there is a chance.
As for the hiv, a possible consequence for the lack in responsibility in the relationship, on her part. Due to the serious threat that threatens your health as well as the relationship, I think a break would be good.
I took one in my relationship that has not ended yet, but I hope it will soon.
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domite
Puppet
Registered: 04/12/03
Posts: 2,978
Loc: Who's askin'?
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: THATS iT!]
#2298830 - 02/03/04 09:25 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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First of all, im sorry you went through that shit.
Quote:
THATS iT! said:
If you love her...
 
bullshit, she is a trifling whore, she did it before, why wouldent she do it again?
Dead it even if you dont want to, bitches like that wont turn around and change into fucking housewife material.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: domite]
#2301100 - 02/04/04 02:06 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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"i think my fate will be a paranoia for some years to come. i've heard that HIV can not show up for a couple years, and the lady at the 1-800 number said something about atleast 4-months. the whole possibility of it truly teriffies me because its totally unexpected."
I'm also very scared about HIV infection. about 8 months ago I had unprotected anal sex with a female who about 5 months later tested positive for HIV. It was only twice, and she had recently gone to some festival and was apparently fucked many many times, and then about 3 months after the festival she took an HIV test which she tested positive for. The question is wether or not she had HIV when I fucked her, but we did not have vaginal sex. I was wondering if I could get AIDS just by fucking her in the ass if she was HIV positive??? Please help me out, I'm very very scared about this.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: ]
#2301123 - 02/04/04 02:11 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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And also is there a 100% chance of HIV infection if an STD-free person were to have sex with another person who is infected with HIV?
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Phluck
Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 04/10/99
Posts: 11,394
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 months, 22 days
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: ]
#2301630 - 02/04/04 04:05 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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"I was wondering if I could get AIDS just by fucking her in the ass if she was HIV positive???
Yes, anal sex is much more likely to transmit HIV... this is why AIDS is associated with gay men... you may or may not have HIV, but 1) Do not have unprotected sex with anyone 2) go get tested IMMEDIATELY.
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"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us
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Anonymous #2
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Re: uneaten and yet barely breathing... [Re: Phluck]
#2301831 - 02/04/04 05:06 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thanks Phluck. Damn, that scares the shit outta me. My hands are shaking while I type this...
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