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InvisibleSuffer
puter dork
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Registered: 03/05/99
Posts: 1,090
Loc: MA
Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2112721 - 11/16/03 07:36 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

i didnt exactly tell my family... they kinda figured out anyway with all the fuckups i made

but after i moved out, it was easier to talk about it with them without worrying about the consiquences. and sence i moved back in with my mom, an she sees all my drug posters n such, and she knows i moderate on the shroomery (she knows Ythan IRL... as hes my best friend)... shes gotten cooler about it. But she also knows that i try to respect her household, and do that shit away from here


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Offlinestudent
Stranger

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 137
Last seen: 19 years, 4 months
Re: Telling my family? [Re: Suffer]
    #2112827 - 11/16/03 08:02 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

I have not moved out of my parents' house. I have just gone away to school. Should I be more obvious in my "drug" use? Do I have to give them the signs of drug use so that they will know? Is there a way that I can approach them? Or should I cut all the bullshit and just tell them? I don't want to hurt my family. Do I have to make it so obvious that they can't help but see, and try to help me? I don't want to hurt my family, but from what I have read, that is the only way. I would like a way to tell my family that I have been using drugs, and they have helped me to become a better person. Do I really have to fear that my family will hate me for what I do? Or can I tell them straight up, and hope that they will see the good that has come from my actions?

Come on. Someone here must have cared enough to tell their family.

thank you,
student

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InvisibleSuffer
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2113086 - 11/16/03 08:58 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

NO! you dont want to give them signs... if they are gona figure it out... then let them on there own terms... and DONT DO WHAT I DID AND FUCK UP YOUR LIFE! Thats a bad call.
If you want help, then tell them strait out. But if you dont think you want help... keep it as your secret untill things are right... you will know when.

Maybe aproach your dad alone if you really have to get it off your chest... if hes had experience with drugs before, he is in a better position to talk to you about it rationaly.


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Offlineangryjslice
now with 20%more anger
Male

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Registered: 10/29/03
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2113312 - 11/16/03 09:44 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

i was thinking you should start at the person who would understand the best, but now i think you should start with the person that understands the least. because after that, it only gets easier.

the hardest part is the first words that leave your mouth. sit down with the one who is the hardest to tell and ask them if they ever think about things like how humans limit themselves. how people seem to be afraid of understanding the world around them, so they build there own world that they have control over. tell them that you dont believe in the standards, and you cant live like that. then drop the bomb. tell them you use psychedelics. explain how psychedelics arnt like other drugs. if you use them for the right reasons, this will be easy to explain. its quite possible this will result in arguments. but assure the person that they dont have to share your views...but if they love you they will accept the fact that you know what is best for yourself.

i had to tell my parents everything. i wish i had only had to tell them psychedelics. the first words are the hardest. i felt like a failure in there eyes. like i had ruined everything that they invested in me. but then i realised that i had been looking at it all wrong. drugs arnt your life, they are a part of it. if they are your life, you have other issues that need to be dealt with. my parents still loved me for what i am, they were dissapointed that i would make decisions they didnt approve of, but they accepted that my choices were my choices.

all in all man, there is no right or wrong way to tell your parents. if your dead set on it, then it will happen. you want to know exactly how to go about it. sit down with them one at a time and tell them. your making it more complex than it is. the more you dodge it, the harder it is on you.

as for sharing an experience with them. i dont think you should with all of them at once. later on, after they come to accept your use, take each one asside and ask them if they ever wanted to try it. if they say yes, then find a good time to do it. tripping with your whole family could be trouble. there are lots of underlying things in a family that hold it in a delicate balance. tripping with 6 people could be disasterous. one on one with each one, if they want to.

honestly...telling your parents is as big of a deal as you make it. they will be hurt, but they will love you more for honesty.

more people should be honest.

i hope this helps. and if it doesnt, than i doubt that your problem is worrying about telling them and its repurcusions. its something deeper within yourself, possibly trying to prove to yourself that your actions are correct.

~JSlice~


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Offlineangryjslice
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: angryjslice]
    #2113342 - 11/16/03 09:49 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

now that i think about it....talk to your dad first...after all who knows the rest of your family better than the one who made them possible, who also shares a history of drug use. he will help you more than any of us can.

~JSlice~


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Offlinesykobish
ProfessionalPsycho - JTOKREW
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Registered: 03/15/03
Posts: 17,805
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2114806 - 11/17/03 03:45 AM (20 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

student said:
So your family knows about your use of psychedelics?  How did you tell them?




heh.. It's a long story.. but it wasn't on purpose.  I was at a very bad time in my life, and alot of things were getting to me.  I dont talk to my dad so obviously he doesn't know.  It was my mom who i told.  We were talking on the phone, i was crying just in a horribly bad mood. (My mood at the time had nothing to do with doing drugs, just to let you know.  The topic wasn't even about drugs.)  All of a sudden i was just like, fuck it.. I'm gonna come clean about everything.  And that's when i did.  She knows everything about me.  We have a much stronger bond now because of it.

I dont think there is an easy way of going about telling your parents that you do drugs.  Unless they're hardcore hippies. :wink: I guess my suggestion to you would be to just relax for now.  Don't stress yourself too much about wanting to tell them.  Don't rush it.  When the time comes for you to tell them, if it ever does, then you will know.

Until then, just chill.


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I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
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Offlinesirreal
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Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 1,775
Loc: In the borderlands
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2115348 - 11/17/03 06:21 AM (20 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

student said:
Do you think think that you could convince them that what you are doing is good? I hope to some day. Maybe this thread will help us to educate those that we love.

peace,
student

[edited for grammer]





I could never convince my parents of this, that's for sure!

I have pretty much given up on some members of my family. Sad but true. And necessary.

Although I do have some good news. My 34 year old sister is going to eat shrooms with me for her first time this coming weekend!

After watching me go through my experiences with acid and mushrooms she is becoming much more open minded.

There is hope, if we are patient and smart about our own use of these drugs.


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I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!

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Offlinestudent
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Registered: 09/26/03
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: sykobish]
    #2115412 - 11/17/03 06:46 AM (20 years, 4 months ago)

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and words. I guess I need to keep working on this myself though. Hopefully some your advice will make its way into my thick skull. I know that this will change my life, and my family forever. And I want to make sure that its a good change. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt my family.

If anyone else would like to reply, please do. But I think I need a break from this. It is too consuming.

thank you,
student

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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2115548 - 11/17/03 08:14 AM (20 years, 4 months ago)

I'd also like to add that i think my mom was more understanding then most, because she went thru it with my brother. My brother is 3 years older then me and he used to sell weed. Well.. he fucked up and needed alot of money. The big boys weren't happy with him n came to his house to tell him to either pay, or they would take care of it in 'other ways'. He had no other choice but to come clean and tell the truth. My gramma (who has passed on.. RIP) was the one who covered the bill.

So when i told her about my drug use, etc., it was nothing new. She knows that a good deal of people do drugs. Hell, she used to smoke weed and do other stuff when she was younger. I remember her and my dad smoking weed when i was a kid. My dad still does.

Also, she knows that i have a good head on my shoulders and that i'm mature so she doesn't worry.


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I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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Offlineiamhimheisme
jesus christ

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 258
Loc: where i dont want to be
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: Telling my family? [Re: student]
    #2116972 - 11/17/03 02:45 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

student said:
So your family knows about your use of psychedelics?  How did you tell them?




this question wasnt directed at me and i havent read the rest of hte posts in the thread but i figured another experience wouldnt hurt.  its my experience that pretty much everyone around my parents age has some sort of experience with psychedelics.  im not saying theyve all used them extensively or anything, but they at least know someone who has done them.  my mom has not touched a psychedelic in her life with the exception of smoking pot (there are pics to prove it :stoned:).  although she is considerably inexperienced, her brother, my uncle, used a number of drugs including peyote and shrooms.  he used them primarily during a period of his life where he didnt have much direction and because of this my mom thought the drugs induced this defficiency.  all it took was a few conversations with her, highlighting the safety of most psychedelics when used responsibly and dispelling any propaganda she had internalized.  as long as you present what you're saying in an organized and respectable manner it will be more likely that it will result well.  my parents have never judged me because of my use of psychedelics and have only expressed concern when they are afraid for my health and success.  i think its only when you have a true understanding of the benefits that accompany any informed psychedelic experience that you can explain your actions without judgement from others.  unfortunately there are still some who are close minded and wont listen to anything.  hopefully your parents/family are willing to listen and understand that these decisions in no way make you a bad person.  good luck, hopefully things will work out for the best. 

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Offlinesykobish
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Re: Telling my family? [Re: iamhimheisme]
    #2117682 - 11/17/03 05:31 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

Great post.  I couldn't agree more.  Educate yourself and them.  But only when you know what you are talking about. :thumbup: And as long as they aren't close minded..


--------------------
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
-={Nite-Crew}=-

*-_Thread_Jacker_-*
To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. - Th?ophile Gautier.
Seek not every quality in one individual - Confucius.
Global Living Space

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Offlinejong21
Mycologist/CSMajor

Registered: 05/27/03
Posts: 576
Loc: Berkeley, CA
Last seen: 19 years, 1 month
Re: Telling my family? [Re: sykobish]
    #2125643 - 11/20/03 04:57 PM (20 years, 4 months ago)

Good luck man, and keep us posted, if you ever tell them be sure and revive this thread, it has been an interesting one to read.


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I either talk about my friends in the first or third person, but I never, ever talk about myself on this website. Except that last sentence.

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