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I hate to hear terrible news..
    #2104194 -

Today, my best friend's dad died from a heart attack. I just phoned my friend a while ago.. I had to cry just from hearing his voice, how sad he sounded.

I couldn't imagine having someone so close to me die all the sudden.. have you guys had that happen? How did you deal with it?

I feel so sad for my friend. :frown:

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Brugman]
    #2104218 -

So far I have been spared the pain and while I don't hope for it I can't help but feel that I am missing a very profound and life changing experiance. To experiance death is to experiance life. How can I feel complete in my experiance of life without it? My time will come.


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Be all and you'll be to end all

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Brugman]
    #2104262 -

I am sorry for you and your friend. My heart goes out to him.

A few weeks ago I meant to call my dad, who had just gotten over kidney cancer, on a Thursday night. I had seen him a few weeks earlier and he was in terrible shape, not being able to breathe even when he just walked from the living room to the kitchen. For some reason I kept pushing off calling him, and when I tried to call on Saturday there was no answer. Sunday night I found out he was in the hospital again, and he had liquid in his lungs. I talked to him and he sounded much better, so I talked to him again on Wednesday. He was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Months ago, when he had a kidney removed, they did all sorts of tests on him because the doctors just couldn't figure out what was wrong. HOW COULD THEY MISS LUNG CANCER? They knew he smoked for 40+ years. His heart is too weak for treatments, so there is nothing they can do for him. He didn't ask how long he has, and I wouldn't want to know. I hate myself for how many times I told myself I would call him and just pushed it off. I hate how I never got my license when I turned 16, so I had to get my mom to drive me to meet him for weekends (he lives an hour away), meaning I saw him once every month and a half or two. I hate how I am the only person in his life that he has and I just completely ignored him.

Now I call him twice a week, but I feel he doesn't want me calling him just to check on him, though he always says he's feeling great. I'm going to see him this weekend and sit down with him and my mom and just talk about what's going to happen. I'll probably go down next weekend too because my half-sister is flying down to see him. Then I'll see him for Thanksgiving and a vacation during Christmas break.

I don't know if he has 6 months or 6 years, and it [B]KILLS[/B] me how I just took him for granted all these years. He has always been there for me too, whenever I fucked up somehow, he was the one to make sure I came out okay, to calm down my mom from kicking me out or something.

The first week I found out I was completely devestated. I skipped classes, slept, cried, didn't eat, I was just horrible. I didn't want any contact with anybody. It's gotten better though. This is the first time I've cried in a few weeks.

I hate to say this, because it means I wouldn't have changed my ways if I hadn't of found this out, but it is helpful for me that I know his time is limited. I will take advantage of all the time we can have together and cherish it, rather than take it for granted then have him taken away at any moment.

But to anyone who has read this far, take the few people closest to you, and make every effort to enjoy the time you spend with them, to get the most out of it and never take it for granted. If that weekend my father was in the hospital was his last, and I had not had any chance to make up for the past, I probably would have killed myself by now or at least lost any will to live.

Man, I didn't mean to write this much. But it helps. This is the first time I've gone in depth with anyone about it, and even though it's online it helps alot. Too bad I still have a paper to write =(

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: oneducktwoducks]
    #2104318 -

Thank you for sharing that with me. This experience and your story have taught me.. I've been taking my parents for granted lately. Time to smarten up.

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Brugman]
    #2104329 -

Yeah... My mom kicked me out when I was 15, went to live with my dad on the other side of the country, and he died after 3 weeks.
It sucks ass, but life goes on. Your friend will be alright in time.

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Brugman]
    #2104330 -

Another thing I just realized. It's a very sobering experience. I've become much more level headed and I can put up with a lot more daily shit now, because it's meaningless on the grand scheme of things. I get along with my mom a lot better now, when before it was just constant arguing over petty shit.

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Brugman]
    #2104379 -

My good friend's father also died recently. My friend was really hurting and I did the best I could to console him. It was rough.

:frown: 


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As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.

-Donald Rumsfeld 2/2/02 Pentagon

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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Brugman]
    #2105755 -

I'm real sorry to hear that!


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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!


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Re: I hate to hear terrible news.. [Re: Ripple]
    #2106859 -

I'm sorry to hear it too!
As you get older, people start dropping off like flies,especially in your 30's from my experience.
I don't think you ever get used to it, you just start to expect it and learn to appreciate life a little more.

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