Seekingtruth said:

Yeah, I find myself thinking at times about her in that way . I'll admit that. Sometimes she says things too.  We live an hour apart now. I care about her.  But I'm ready to get on with my life.  I'm just having an issue convincing myself to drop her completely. 

I don't feel I want a dating relationship with her but it certainly crossed my mind.  I like what u said about  the shit she gets being her fault.  What do I do though when she is messaging me on the computer all day?  Just ignore it?  Say something stern?  It's like we are talking about this guy I don't know for months now. I'm tired of hearing about it.  It's the same conversation over and over again

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Anyways, I've noticed lately that I whine to her a lot. For example: I'm not eating right, I can't get a date, I have a hard time saving money, I wanna workout but don't when the time comes.

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I feel like I can see the vision of who I am striving to be, but can't seem to do the effort to get it.  Like the universe is saying, "here it is if u want it."  And I'm just not doing it.

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Recently, I've discovered Theodore Roosevelt and the strenuous life.  It speaks to me.

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I've never read the book and am VERY suspicious of the word "strenuous" in the title.

Does it empower you? By empower I mean literally, give you energy IN YOUR LIMBS and breath IN YOUR LUNGS to get up, do things, go woo hoo with energy on your goals and dreams, OR does it give you stuff to sit down and "think about" some more? Food for thought. If your lungs and limbs ain't movin' from it, I'd keep looking for that book called The Fun Life. The Awesome Life. Or my favorite, How To Be a Rolling Thriving Festival of Awesome

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I'm trying to change. Or think I'm trying,

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How do I go about getting my backbone back?? My balls??? I want to feel like a man again.

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Now we're getting to the meat of the matter. Love the direct approach

For me, one thing that consistently worked and got me places, is following my true inner drives and passions. ESPECIALLY those that my immediate friends/family thought were ludicrous bullshit.

Something like this:

For me, this meant giving up trying to kid myself, trying to form myself by others' desires. My mom wanted me to be some dude in a suit working in a bank. Tried for some months, BORED TO DEATH and I went away. Moved. Followed dead end jobs of my own choosing, for as long as I found them worth following, able to teach me something. As soon as that feeling went away, I went away.

Followed the psychedelics. Followed them wherever they lead, and they've given me health, peace of mind, A LOT of interesting shit to talk to people about, observation powers around the human nervous system (interest, attraction, energy levels etc) that help LOADS with the ladies, and -++

Well now this is a fantastic turn of events

As I was typing, room mate of my host came home and this started. Needless to say the rest of my post will have to wait until clearer waters. But be well, enjoy your existence on the blue planet and explore the wonders of this here forum.

Know that all is well, and ALL the info you seek is there for the looking, the hearing and the asking. All that's left for you to do is the associating and following through. And no worries, you WILL follow through on anything that's properly approached, seen, imagined and associated. The only things you fail to follow through on is the ones you're not properly linked with, have insufficient detail knowledge of, or have not clarified in your minds' eye your preferred outcomes. Work on this and you shall see true returns.

Boy this music rocks.

My good man I am in true tripping mode as we speak, shapeshifting into my true form. Will see where this leads

Seekingtruth said:

Lol have fun. I was really looking forward to a more straight forward post. Maybe later!

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OK I'm still tripping bawelz here, but why not drop in.

Allow me to offer apologies if I've been too unkind, crude or in other ways disruptive to your emotional well-being. I simply wish to share a way of doing things, a focus on direct action, cutting through the bullshit and the chatter and excuses, the overly verbal and in-the-head ways of the modern urban westerner, that are simply ruining the manly vibes in so many men these days. I know this because I suffered from it. Excessive seeking of approval, excessive talking (verbally) as opposed to clearer gesture, eye contact, few words but with a lot of weight behind each one.

It's good to have female friends. They indeed need not be fucked, dated nor in other ways compromised, unless they show some form of mutual interest in the same direction.

On how one deals with these matters, with women, with parents and children, I think it's a good idea to know the phases and processes involved. All kids need learning and protection up to a point, then they need to be given space and let to take their knowledge, tools and skills out into the real world. Growing up, there's that hero's journey, the young hero, protected in the family house / cave / city, has to get out in dangerous wastelands, jungle, desert, taxing conditions, and out there find himself. Find his or her true strength, find new tools, knowledge and companions, and then with this newfound treasure, return once more to his tribe, and be received as a valuable member, as a contributor and wise person. One who can be relied upon, because he knows himself, his tools and his limits, having tested them all well. Those who never leave the safety of the familiar, those who never risk, dare, fight the elements and crash against their limitations, will never know, never grow. Takes risk and sometimes losses to gain that hard skin, and it's the only way.

The child looks to the parent. Looks to the authority figure. Looks to the females like they're mommy (source of approval) and looks to other males like they're daddy (source of punishment if misbehaving). There's a certain reflex, an emotional pattern to this. A looking, a stopping-of-breath (waiting for approval, a sign of how one SHOULD feel, good if parents approve, horrible if they don't).

Watch for this reflex. If you say something and then look at others, wait on their approval, know you're being submissive, beta, practicing child mode. If on the other hand, you speak your mind as it is, with no care whatsoever if anybody approves, if you speak from your clear core truth, that' a man right there. No doubt.

The man looks to nobody but himself, for knowing what he feels and what is right. Deep within, in his very core. Sure one can ask mentors or friends for advice or opinions, but that's consulting. THere's no hanging on words, no anxiety, no stopping one's breath as one expects a cue on how to feel. The man simply is as he wants to be, feels how he feels, and all those who don't like it are none of his business. A man has a clear territory, clear loved ones he's responsible for, and there lie his priorities. THEIR opinions matter. It is for them that he keeps his heart and mind and body strong, clear and focused. It is for them that he will say a clear and loud NO to all requests for frivolous wasting of time or energy. The man has none to give on trivial matters, as he has a territory to maintain, loved ones to entertain, and bring them the good things in life, most of all his wise and pleasant company. Unspoiled by needless worry, un-hurried by trivial matters.

For some intuitive reason this seemed appropriate. I know it's long and the speaker starts a bit boring, but stick with it and you'll find some golden bits in there

As someone said above, you're doing fine. You have both your balls and your backbone where they need to be. Simply look to them for answer, not women, not parents nor anybody nor anything else in this whole wide universe but yourself, and that's all you need to do. You have them, just look deep to your own heart, your own breath and solar plexus for what is right, and that's it

Any questions left?