Oh, to answer you would look to me like pretentious drivel. When I began Jungian analysis in Miami around 1984, my analyst had me read The Hero With a Thousand Faces. Like you, I need to re-read it, but I've been working my way through 'The Masks of God' series, and I'm part way through the 4th book, Occidental Mythology. Typically, I'd see myself through my own experiences, and being something of a romantic (although, not a very emotional romantic), I'd see myself on all too much an exalted trip. It is true that I began to cultivate an attitude of self-discovery long after it was fashionable in those mid 70s, when rock was yielding to disco music, guys were cutting their hair and wearing high-heel clogs. By the early 80s, I too cut my hair, but only because I needed to begin a career, not because I wanted to be fashionable. I used to interview in a 3-piece suits too. From November of '86 until June '03, I was employed in a huge conservative public school system, where I was forced to live a secret life of self-discovery. The only middle school teacher who was into some of the things I was turned out to be unethical, criminal, and crazy, so it's been a life-time of exploring alone. The 3-piece suit business stopped after the initial interviews, and despite the principal looking me up and down as I entered the building wearing blue jeans, I got to dress pretty much the way I wanted for almost 30 years, which expressed the freedom that teachers sacrificed due to fear of the administration (principals could make one's life miserable, and a majority are petty tyrants), insecurity, need to appear self-important, etc..
My ex-wife of 13 years all told, also turned out to be crazy, but her façade was one of social propriety, having valued attending cotillion as a young woman on the one hand, but sleeping with her married cardiologist on the other. While she did take acid and mushrooms a few times with me, she said "I just don't get the same thing out of this stuff that you do," and of course, Awakening was something incomprehensible to her having had no real taste herself or any spiritual tendencies beyond mechanical Catholicism.
Forgoing parenthood is a huge divide from a majority of people. I found a non-maternal woman, but she turned out to be quite sick mentally and morally. Many people make friends through the parents of their children's friends. Having never had an interest in parenthood, I have used my free time for exploration of things that most people I have met in real life have zero interest or knowledge in. Meanwhile, all I ever really wanted in life was a home to continue tripping, exploring, and experimenting in. The maintenance of a house/yard/pool has long been a matter of 'Chop wood, carry water' Zen mindfulness thing, more than a chore. I spent 3 hours yesterday, as Thursday afternoon has long been my chosen time to perform that comprehensive task.
Whether my lifestyle has been heroic or foolhardy is a matter of perspective. I have rejected social and cultural conventions since I was a boy, refusing to pretend interest in sports, refusing to become a Bar Mitzvah because I was at war with my non-spiritual but tyrannical father whom I saw as hypocrite in matters religious, being one of the first to grow my hair out in 1966 at age 13, beginning to use cannabis (hash) New Year's Eve '68-'69, taking my first psychedelic in 1971, getting baptized at 21 and then entering a Christian seminary, which resulted in the alienation and rejection of much of my Jewish family, marrying a non-Jewish woman (both times), marrying a Black woman (2nd time), and for all the time I spent in school, its payoff was more on the inner and invisible-to-others side, than on the side of making money. I had a co-worker, who, due to her superstition and irrational thoughts, spent over $200,000 to build a mausoleum so that she and her family could all be together in death. I will be unceremoniously cremated without a funeral service, and my passing will only be communicated by my wife when and if someone calls on me, and if she survives me. I have taken a path less travelled, but what I feel is alienated, as a 'stranger in a strange land' kind of way, not heroic in any victorious way.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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