Kickle said:

Is there anything more to confidence than a lack of self-doubt in the moment?

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To answer your question, nope.

quinn said:

bad roomies??

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eh, yeah... I'm thinking it stems from a bad roomie relationship (my roomie also happens to be my mom - LOL, drama!!) that highlights all the negative qualities I perceive in myself.. so it's been in flux for the past couple years - me blaming her for my issues and then me hating her for how she is, which in turn leads to me being a bitch to her which leads to her being a bitch me. I'm getting a grip on it every so slightly, but there's a new host of problems (communication with her is difficult as she has her own set of problems she isn't working on solving) - not to mention it makes me feel like a failure in a sense that I graduated college and moved back in with my mom...and have been here for 2 years.

I'm trying to get out of here with my relationship healthy and intact, though (the prospects are better than they've been, so that's awesome). Not to mention I don't really have anywhere else to go right now. I've done just about every exercise I've come across to get to the root of the issue, and it seems the only thing I seem to be lacking on a consistent basis is mindfulness and positively dealing with stress as it arises/pre-emptively dealing with stress.

I think confidence (or self-esteem, I think they're interchangeable) is absolutely vital to a healthy individual. Without it, you don't even know who you are.

Penelope_Tree said:

I think confidence (or self-esteem, I think they're interchangeable) is absolutely vital to a healthy individual. Without it, you don't even know who you are.

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Quote:

One practice I've done that has helped me get a grip is writing/journaling about my problems.. That's why I really love this place - I get my introspective reflection going on in the context of a supportive community. Sometimes, I feel like we push each other to be the best. I really appreciate everyone here.

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Can totally relate. Only reason why I'm here. Do you guys really think I like you? Pfff. You're purely utilitarian.

dustinthewind13 said:

Penelope_Tree said:

I think confidence (or self-esteem, I think they're interchangeable) is absolutely vital to a healthy individual. Without it, you don't even know who you are.

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You're likely right. It's just that I feel confident that I can do what I want to do in life, but I don't like what I've got to work with aka self esteem issues. Does that make any sense?

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Kickle said:

It is an illusion. A limited view of what exists both in time and in space. There are lots of things taller than the tallest man. And many things smaller than the smallest toe.

Don't misunderstand me. I think the illusion serves a lot of purposes for humanity but it doesn't make it real

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Ugh, this sort of relativism has its merits for some criteria of judgment, such as in art (where it is difficult to conclusively say that one work is better than another), but it seems pretty silly to me to say that there is no such thing as a conclusive value judgment as to whether person X is better than person Y at mathematics, for instance.  Human beings perform certain skills at varying degrees of competence and skill; if I perform mathematical skills at a higher degree of competence than you then I am, by definition, better at math than you.  And WTF does it even mean to say that tallness is an illusion? 

dustinthewind13 said:

It's not that I don't think I deserve it. It's just that I don't like myself. I still feel confident that I can do a lot of things though. This is likely the cause of why I think self esteem and confidence are different, but at the same time I don't really see a difference between them. I asked you if it made sense, because I was curious if my dichotomy between confidence and self esteem made any sense. Why I feel confident and hate myself at the same time is beyond me though. I have no idea if its true that people think I'm pathetic, but I know I do. It might just be a projection, since I've hated myself from a very young age. It's weird. Unlike you though, I've given up trying to find the root of it all. I'll stick to a genetic predisposition, even if it isn't true. I was born a self deprecating basket case.

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