Rahz said:

Never done Iboga, and have had similar experiences with therapists.

As far as the weed, it's on you to experiment with quitting/cutting down and find the results for yourself. I don't smoke as much as I used to and have found that I'm happier smoking less even though I do like getting stoned. As far as the depersonalization I tend to think of it as the result of an awakening mind. I would suggest though that it's not necessarily the end product. The cognitive dissonance you experience is a result of the disparity between the reality you imagine and the reality you experience. To some extent I think humans are working against their own nature but it's also worth considering that we're just not as functional as we imagine ourselves to be. There are a whole range of potentials being expressed.

At any rate, your basic options are to make changes to your environment or learn to accept your environment. Find ways to lower your stress level and your head will likely fix itself. Maybe cut down on the weed, eat well, exercise, plenty of sleep... none of that changes the outer environment but may change perspective. I'm not saying that's the answer but if you are stressed out and manage to lower the stress level, clearer thoughts may lead to better ways of dealing with or changing the outer environment.

---

Quote:

so you wouldnt recommend therapy?

---

Quote:

I know that i if i change the things i don't accept i will get better

---

Quote:

and I cant accept them because it'll just be denial

---

Rahz said:

Quote:

so you wouldnt recommend therapy?

---

I didn't say that. I would suggest that if do give therapy a shot don't be afraid to shop around for a good therapist. If one seems crazier than you move on to the next one.

Quote:

I know that i if i change the things i don't accept i will get better

---

That's not always true.

Quote:

and I cant accept them because it'll just be denial

---

I think you have a misunderstanding of what acceptance is. You could quit trying to change your external environment and just accept that it sucks to some large degree. This in turn may cause inner changes that allow you to see things differently in a way that intellect alone cannot, which may result in either a changed viewpoint on the circumstances (over time) or in solutions that may only present themselves once you've quit trying so hard to change things.

Nobody wants to feel helpless in their situation, but if you take a step back from trying to change everything that in itself is an empowering thing to do. Life isn't going to be perfect and if nothing else you will eventually age out and die, so it might be prudent to enjoy what you've got while you've got it. Things can always get worse than they are now.

---

Apollop said:

Rahz said:

Never done Iboga, and have had similar experiences with therapists.

As far as the weed, it's on you to experiment with quitting/cutting down and find the results for yourself. I don't smoke as much as I used to and have found that I'm happier smoking less even though I do like getting stoned. As far as the depersonalization I tend to think of it as the result of an awakening mind. I would suggest though that it's not necessarily the end product. The cognitive dissonance you experience is a result of the disparity between the reality you imagine and the reality you experience. To some extent I think humans are working against their own nature but it's also worth considering that we're just not as functional as we imagine ourselves to be. There are a whole range of potentials being expressed.

At any rate, your basic options are to make changes to your environment or learn to accept your environment. Find ways to lower your stress level and your head will likely fix itself. Maybe cut down on the weed, eat well, exercise, plenty of sleep... none of that changes the outer environment but may change perspective. I'm not saying that's the answer but if you are stressed out and manage to lower the stress level, clearer thoughts may lead to better ways of dealing with or changing the outer environment.

---

so you wouldnt recommend therapy? i know that i if i change the things i don't accept i will get better, but i can't change them that's the problem... and i cant accept them because it'll just be denial... the reason i have this is because i dont accept and wont accept them... i am trying to change them but its very difficult...

---

Quote:

too many i and i's.  you are clearly a narcissistic son of a bitch with self serving interests and a lack of concern for others.  why should i give one fuck about you i don't and never will.  changes?  why bother i think you sound pretty cool other than the complete pity party.  what the fuck is up with that?

ps i was told by a therapist and supposed family friend that i was indeed a narcissistic son of a bitch.  true can you believe it?

---

Apollop said:

Hey guys,

I had a major life-changing incident in 2006 that kind of shattered my life as I knew it for the 23 years before that incident. My family had some major business issues that pretty much brought us to the ground. I've been supporting since then.

Ever since then, it seems that I have had depersonalization as the natural 24/7 state of mind, and it has recently become worse. I live in a country I hate, with people I don't want to live with, people I don't want to deal with on a daily basis, a job I hate, colleagues I don't enjoy working with, etc. So aside from that traumatic incident and phase, there is nothing in my life that I like or accept and so it has worsening my depersonlization. I have also been smoking weed and hash for the past 12 years and I visited a therapist once and he said that it is common amongst almost all cannabis users and asked me to quit for 3 months and then go back so he can diagnose me properly. Before I ask for advice, I'd like to share some important points that shape up my current reality, be it good or bad or right or wrong.

1. Because of depersonalization, i'm literally on autopilot 24/7, unless I'm with my ex who I was in love with.
2. I am at a point where I'm constantly 'depressed' but in a way that i see it as wisdom and not truth and not depression.
3. I view human beings as animals who are living in ways and by norms against their own nature and that is why society is dysfunctional.
3. I view all human beings as zombies in a way with infected minds and drowning souls.
4. I lack purpose, motivation, or any real sustainable will to improve anything in my life simply for the fact that I have given up on existence and the purpose behind it.

I'm not sure if all these points are relevant, but I thought I should share my state of mind anyways.

And here's what I'd like your advice/feedback on:

1. Do you think I should go to therapy? I've tried once and I always look at the therapist and what he's saying with some sort of pity because I believe that my perspective on life, no matter how fucked it may seem to him, actually make more sense than his does.
2. I read somewhere that Iboga, when done properly as a healing ceremony and administered in the right dosage, actually resets and deconditions your mind, which cures many disorders including depersonalization. Would you guys recommend it? Anyone done it before? Any specific centers or shamans to look up?
3. Do you have any other tips on fixing my head?

---

Apollop said:

.....
3. I view human beings as animals who are living in ways and by norms against their own nature and that is why society is dysfunctional.
.....

---

Apollop said:

1. Do you think I should go to therapy? I've tried once and I always look at the therapist and what he's saying with some sort of pity because I believe that my perspective on life, no matter how fucked it may seem to him, actually make more sense than his does.
2. I read somewhere that Iboga, when done properly as a healing ceremony and administered in the right dosage, actually resets and deconditions your mind, which cures many disorders including depersonalization. Would you guys recommend it? Anyone done it before? Any specific centers or shamans to look up?
3. Do you have any other tips on fixing my head?

---