This thread is about beards. The thread title is lighthearted, I don't care if you grow a beard or not. But before you decide if you want to be hirsute or have a smooth face like a baby's tender buttocks, you should consider the following interesting trivia.
1. In ancient greece, the birthplace of western culture (so they say), the state of being bearded was inseperable from the state of being a philosopher which means "lover of wisdom". It was considered unthinkable to be a lover of wisdom and not grow a beard.
2. In the ancient world, beardedness was virtually synonymous with manhood. Almost all men grew beards. The reason why this changed is not generally well known but is interesting. Although all "real men" in the ancient world grew beards , having a beard was a disadvantage in combat, because an opponent could grab your beard and use it to move your head from side to side, which allowed them to yank your head up and expose your throat, which could be fatal.
Alexander the great, therefore, shaved his face smooth, and ordered all his legions of soldiers to do the same. He then went on to conquer the known world and mainain his rule by garrisoning soldiers in occupied lands. Therefore a clean faced man took over the world with his clean faced legions, and had his own face minted on all the coins, showing his smooth face on all currency. Therefore, people raced to emulate him and many shaved off their beards in order to emulate the emperor and his soldiers. That is why to this day more people have smooth faces than beards, when the opposite was true in the past.
3. Evolutionary biologists understand that because a beard has no immediate survival value (you dont need a beard to live) there are only two reasons why the trait of beardedness has persisted in our species. Either or both could be true, but it has to be at least one or the other. Either A. Beards help males attract mates by signalling sexual maturity, virility and desirability to females or B. Beards help males intimidate other males and help them in the bid for social dominance.
In other words Beards either make you sexually attractive to females, intimidating and authoritative to other males, or both. The function of the beard in humans is identical to the function of the mane in lions, the antlers in elk and deer, the beard of a goat, the tailfeathers of a peacock, and so forth. Can you imagine a lion waking up each morning and shaving its mane?
4. Having a beard creates the illusion of having a larger jawline and therefore makes you look larger and stronger, creating a psychological advantage.
5. Beard growth is related to testosterone levels, which are in turn related to strength and virility, therefore having a beard sends a subconscious message that you are strong and sexually active.
6. All day every day the body works to grow the beard. Surely there must be some reason for that? Doesn't it seem a bit odd when you think about it that we constantly thwart our own bodies, as they steadfastly stuggle to "complete" themselves by growing a beard that is part of our genetic design?
7. Having a beard protects the skin of the face from cold, dry air, environmental pollution, wind, salt, etc and therefore slows the aging and wrinkling of the face. A large enough beard and moustache can also protect the respiratory system by filtering the air we breathe in a similar way that the cilia (hairs) in our lungs do. A large moustache is like an extra layer of cilia.
8. All good wizards have beards. Gandalf, Merlin, Dumbledore, Saruman, you name it. You have to have a good beard to be a real wizard. 
9. Almost all major religions mandate males should have beards. In the old testament in the book of leviticus it says "thou shalt not shave the hairs of thy face nor harm the edges of thy beard". Therefore orthodox jews and christians grow beards. Rastafarians take the nazarite vow, which is to never to cut their hair (among other things) and therefore they also tend to grow beards (and dreadlocks). Mohammad instructed muslims not to shave and they too grow beards. For Sikhs, having a beard is one of the five visible symbols of their faith and is mandatory. Many hindu yogis, sadhus and swamis grow beards, and so did moses, jesus and the prophets. The only real exception is buddhists who tend to shave their heads and faces.
10. If you have a long beard, and you need to change your identity and evade detection or capture, you can shave your hair and beard and look like a totally different person, providing an instant disguise.
11. The beard never stops growing and unlike head hair tends not to diminish with age. Therefore if you start growing a beard now, you can enjoy having a bad ass beard when you get older, even if you go bald.
12. In cold climates, a good beard provides a great deal of warmth to the face and neck, its like a natural scarf.
13. In scientific tests, women were shown pictures of a variety of men who were either fully shaven, partial beard or full beard.
They measured two categoties of response. Attractiveness and desirability as a romantic partner. They found that having a men with a partial beard were seen as more attractive and more desirable as a partner than fully shaven men, and men with a full beard were found to be more desirable as a romantic partner than fully shaven men, although less attractive.
They found that beardedness conveys authority, maturity and aggression.
14. Being able to stroke your beard feels cool and makes you look wise and thoughtful. When you are listening to what someone says you can slowly stroke your beard and it makes it look like you are thinking deeply. 
15. Its just cool to find out what you would look like with a full beard, because otherwise you would never know.
16. When we were prepubescent, we had no beards. When we go through puberty, we grow beards. Therefore it seems to me that shaving is in some way an attempt to return to a prepubescent state, like trying to create the illusion of being a child, in some ways it is a rejection of manhood. For this reason in historical times shaving the beard was associated with femininity, homosexuality, and being a "dandy" .
17. In Mennonite, Hutterite and Amish cultures the tradition is to remain clean shaven until marriage, and once married never to shave again.
18. Beards are a "secondary sex characteristic". Another example of a secondary sex characteristic is a womans breasts. Therefore shaving ones beards is vaguely equivalent to a woman removing her breasts.
19. The idea that a shaven face is more attractive is largely a function of advertising. There is a lucrative business in shaving, for companies who sell razors, shaving cream etc, therefore men are bombarded with advertisements displaying super model men shaving and trying to pressure us to do the same, but there not much business in growing the beard (which doesnt require any products) therefore their are no pro-beard advertisements.
20. Having a beard can convey the look of being a lumberjack, an outdoorsman, a voyageur, a rugged individualist who is capable, self-reliant, competent, masculine, tough and grim. That is also why many motorcycle gang bikers grow beards. They know it makes them look scary and badass.
21. By not shaving your entire life, you will save hundreds of hours in time, thousands of liters of water, and hundreds or thousands of dollars on razors and shaving creams. You could probably write a book in the time you will save by not shaving over a lifetime.
22. Not shaving saves water and materials and is therefore better for the environment.
Just some food for thought.
 
Edited by Moonshoe (02/18/13 04:59 PM)
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