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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17370541 -

st1llnox said:
Ugh this is all so depressing. Just forgive them.



you haven't the slightest inkling as to what i went through because of my parents projecting their fucked up marriage onto me - which is exactly what this instance was - and using me as the family scapegoat for my entire life. it would be different if they owned up to it, but they're children so they can't. i will forgive them some day, because it's the right thing to do, but that's for me, not so they can sleep better at night. i don't see it happening any time soon.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: millzy]
    #17370627 -

I thought it was just about the psych ward thing. Mine have been essentially hinting I might be in some sort of psychosis when I disagree with them now (i.e. a philosophy major going into digital humanities wants to take ancient greek? "You're not thinking clearly").

That's fortitude if nothing else and I'm sorry for what you went through. I don't bring up the fact that I could have been rescued from that abusive hellhole of a "hospital" just because I don't want to hurt them, but they're careful to make sure I know that it's my fault I was in there and this was all my doing, and now they're going to go to AlAnon.

I honestly, deep in my heart of hearts, wish I died about a year ago. That way, they would have still been the bad guy and frankly, if I'd have known how 2/3 of the last two years was going to go I would've probably wished to seal that into history but too late now.

The dorms don't sound that bad, but dorms + no car? This is CRIPPLING my psycho-social development. I dreamt I was back in the dorms with all my friends the other night and had a lot of fun, but that was years ago--we're older and some graduated now. It would be different with a 22 year old and a bunch of 18/19 year olds.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17370647 -

I quit drinking when I went back to school.

Then I started again a few months later. :datass:


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #17370787 -

its funny because once i looked at the thread title i knew this was by you.

quit drugs they're not really worth it after a certain point...


--------------------
What are you going to do with your liberal arts degree? Write a 3rd person narrative about why you like playing with yourself in the mid-morning, instead of the afternoon, because you can't find a fuckin' job? --Captain Ahab
You'll see an classic example of real world exponential decay when a first year engineering course shrinks into a second year course and even more by third year. - Chem E prof

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: usudor]
    #17370793 -

usudor said:
its funny because once i looked at the thread title i knew this was by you.

quit drugs they're not really worth it after a certain point...


Uh... it's not. And my parents never gave me any "ultimatum." I know I sound pretty crazy on here sometimes but I keep my shit in check. :shrug:


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17370801 -

st1llnox said:
I thought it was just about the psych ward thing. Mine have been essentially hinting I might be in some sort of psychosis when I disagree with them now (i.e. a philosophy major going into digital humanities wants to take ancient greek? "You're not thinking clearly").

That's fortitude if nothing else and I'm sorry for what you went through. I don't bring up the fact that I could have been rescued from that abusive hellhole of a "hospital" just because I don't want to hurt them, but they're careful to make sure I know that it's my fault I was in there and this was all my doing, and now they're going to go to AlAnon.

I honestly, deep in my heart of hearts, wish I died about a year ago. That way, they would have still been the bad guy and frankly, if I'd have known how 2/3 of the last two years was going to go I would've probably wished to seal that into history but too late now.

The dorms don't sound that bad, but dorms + no car? This is CRIPPLING my psycho-social development. I dreamt I was back in the dorms with all my friends the other night and had a lot of fun, but that was years ago--we're older and some graduated now. It would be different with a 22 year old and a bunch of 18/19 year olds.


the psyche ward thing was about them. my father spent most of my childhood off getting drunk because my mother is insufferable to be around, so she took up having illnesses as a hobby in order to get attention from someone. and no seriously, her hobby is going to the doc and getting procedures and surgeries done. her medical bills are something like 7k a month last i'm checked, and that's probably a conservative number considering they lie about money too because they're ashamed of what a couple of fuck ups they are. if i were my father i probably would've shot myself by now.

after her mother, my grandmother died, she went off the deep end. seeing me with a case of the blues over losing my only adult friend in the world gave her the opportunity to project her mental illness onto me. it's not that i was sad because my grandmother had died. there was something wrong with me in a very fundamental, chemical way that needed fixing. being this was in the 80's, she easily found a group of therapists who were more than happy to take her money, dope me to the gills and lock me up to bleed their insurance dry until i wound up a drooling mess in a state facility. this was all before i entered 8th grade.

i should fucking murder my parents, because that's exactly what they did to me before i even had a chance.

as far as your parents diagnosing you, i'm not discouraging you from seeking recovery, but i wouldn't have them involved in making those decisions for you. those decisions are not theirs to make. the fact that they're telling you that you're crazy whenever you disagree sends up some flags to me.

find someone you trust to talk this stuff out and figure out your plan. if your parents need to make your situation about them by going to alanon or whatever bullshit, so bet it. but make your path and don't let them tell you shit. that's my advice.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #17370880 -

BlindSophist said:
usudor said:
its funny because once i looked at the thread title i knew this was by you.

quit drugs they're not really worth it after a certain point...


Uh... it's not. And my parents never gave me any "ultimatum." I know I sound pretty crazy on here sometimes but I keep my shit in check. :shrug:


:shrug: my shit was in check okay until others decided it wasn't and started helping me. Even after this last 2 years I'm still on track for latin honors in an engineering degree. It's just when psychiatry happened, my parents started only seeing what's wrong with me and should be fixed. I'd used to just come home and we'd all be happy. Now, I don't have any shit to keep in check. It's just been a codependent vortex of smothering and mutual resentment.

I'm not going to quit drugs. Nancy Reagan can suck my gay dick. Frankly, I wouldn't even have ever been in any of that horrible mess spice got me into if my family or at least other authority figures hadn't made weed out to be such a big deal, but now even my parents are starting to see that weed and alcohol

And feeling left out would be drastically worse for my psychological health than moderate social drinking and occasional to semi-frequent weed/shroom usage. And picking up smoking from AA would be worse for me than weed could ever be. I don't really get how it's funny usudor... I just got served an order to basically pick between having any sort of life for the next few years versus my likelihood of my career of choice/my own family/etc., got hung up on by a drug abuse counselor and accused of "manipulating" her because I made the dumb mistake of answering honestly when she asked if I was feeling suicidal, and have generally had a bad couple years. I realize my posts the last couple days A) sucked and B) weren't met for the tongue-in-cheek druggie/absurdism humor they were, but eh. Now I'm rambling. Adderall's a helluva drug.


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17370914 -

I stole my parents car one night and they told me either I go to rehab or go to prison.

Rehab was fun and I stayed clean for almost 4 months!

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #17370927 -

alcoholichunter said:
I stole my parents car one night and they told me either I go to rehab or go to prison.

Rehab was fun and I stayed clean for almost 4 months!


Was it fun, really? And how bad were you? Did you want to stay clean? Has your life been ruined since after those 4 months?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17370975 -

I hear yeh...

You say occasional trips help you use moderation? It's been such a long time since I tripped hard or often. Way back before I started doing thangs in school. Everything was so different back then it's hard to make predictions about how the psychs would affect my life now. Different habits, bigger goal, way, way more busy. Back in the day I would take acid or 2C-E and just lose the night of sleep whenever I felt the random whim, not so much anymore. It started to lose its appeal. I was like "hey, why am I tripping again?... I'm kinda fucking tired..." :lol: Those were pretty aimless times.

I know I want to take a big dose of something this winter... but I say that before every break, and I end up taking a baby tab of acid or something. :doh:


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17371011 -

I was pretty fuckin bad. Rehab was fun because I went to a hospital where I could drink coffee and chain smoke cigs. I met some really cool people up there and got to play hacky sack most the day. They make you go to classes where you talk about drug use and ways to cope with your emotions.

It's really not that bad if you go to the right place for treatment.


I didn't really want to quit, but obviously I didn't have a choice. Slowly but surely alcohol started to take ahold of me again.

I'm doing well now though. Only getting drunk a couple days a week at the bars. I get completely wrecked though. I figure if I am not gonna get plastered there is no point in me going out.

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #17371050 -

i got rejected from a rehab because i said i sometimes have a problem with staring at girls, which wasnt even entirely true :homerdoh3:

watch what you say bad about yourself if you want to get in

plus i dont know how long your rehab is but month(S) away from something works, if you keep working it after too, its easy to fall back into the hole if you let yourself

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: hidenseek]
    #17371058 -

These psychiatric services you guys consult with sound fucking awful. "Manipulative" for saying you want to kill yourself? No rehab because you're horny? :dudewtf:

Fucking puritannical self-centered fdasdgasdga :nonono:


--------------------
Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.


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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #17371109 -

it was a mixed gender rehab, and girls in rehab have sometimes been abused in their past

so have horney people up in there probably isnt the best idea

and to that guys manipulative thing, was that like a self help line? if so that is pretty aweful

and IMO the services can go either way, like all groups of people there are bad people and good people in it

again IMO some of them just cant get out of the paradigms they are in to see other points of view. They are taught stuff in school and went for however long it is, and they learn stuff and rey on this to make their opinions.

i was talking more about staff and not psychiatrist in that last paragraph, they're a whole nother ball game lol

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17371155 -

Rehab for smoking a little bit of some legal fake weed shit? :facepalm:.

I'm glad you're oblivious to real addiction.


--------------------
"I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst

:sun: "...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" :sun:

Free Spore Ring Europe
Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution :grin:

Open Source. Freedom.  GNU/Linux

Addicting is not a word.

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: Cepheus]
    #17371178 -

theres physical addiction and theres addictive personalities, both can end with the same results, regardless of drug of choice

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: st1llnox]
    #17371195 -

st1llnox said:
BlindSophist said:
usudor said:
its funny because once i looked at the thread title i knew this was by you.

quit drugs they're not really worth it after a certain point...


Uh... it's not. And my parents never gave me any "ultimatum." I know I sound pretty crazy on here sometimes but I keep my shit in check. :shrug:


:shrug: my shit was in check okay until others decided it wasn't and started helping me. Even after this last 2 years I'm still on track for latin honors in an engineering degree. It's just when psychiatry happened, my parents started only seeing what's wrong with me and should be fixed. I'd used to just come home and we'd all be happy. Now, I don't have any shit to keep in check. It's just been a codependent vortex of smothering and mutual resentment.

I'm not going to quit drugs. Nancy Reagan can suck my gay dick. Frankly, I wouldn't even have ever been in any of that horrible mess spice got me into if my family or at least other authority figures hadn't made weed out to be such a big deal, but now even my parents are starting to see that weed and alcohol

And feeling left out would be drastically worse for my psychological health than moderate social drinking and occasional to semi-frequent weed/shroom usage. And picking up smoking from AA would be worse for me than weed could ever be. I don't really get how it's funny usudor... I just got served an order to basically pick between having any sort of life for the next few years versus my likelihood of my career of choice/my own family/etc., got hung up on by a drug abuse counselor and accused of "manipulating" her because I made the dumb mistake of answering honestly when she asked if I was feeling suicidal, and have generally had a bad couple years. I realize my posts the last couple days A) sucked and B) weren't met for the tongue-in-cheek druggie/absurdism humor they were, but eh. Now I'm rambling. Adderall's a helluva drug.



its funny because your asking questions that have obvious answers anyone here who disagree's with me needs to do some real thinking in life. and your in college you should be working torwards a career not going out and getting schwasted everynight but obviously this doesnt make sense to a lot of people here so ill leave it at that.

:shake:


--------------------
What are you going to do with your liberal arts degree? Write a 3rd person narrative about why you like playing with yourself in the mid-morning, instead of the afternoon, because you can't find a fuckin' job? --Captain Ahab
You'll see an classic example of real world exponential decay when a first year engineering course shrinks into a second year course and even more by third year. - Chem E prof

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: usudor]
    #17371228 -

i don't think anyone with half a brain would disagree that school should be a priority to anyone taking the time to go through it. but what this kid is describing, a little partying here and there, isn't exactly "going out and getting wasted every night". being an engineering student with honors says enough about his personal habits imo unless he's some sort of superbeing.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: hidenseek]
    #17371240 -

I don't dispute that, I'm saying it's hardly like this guy is spiralling out of control, losing touch with reality & hiding from himself (as far as I can tell).

Drug addiction isn't just about drugs.. the drugs just facilitate and propagate the mindset.. they make it easier to deal whilst making shit 100x worse. I didn't really get the whole thing until I experienced and witnessed it in my group of friends.. most of them are still spiralling now :frown:.


--------------------
"I only ever hope to reach equilibrium, in Nature's matrix, in line with the meridian" ~ Jehst

:sun: "...and I know that I have to keep breathing, as tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide will bring?" :sun:

Free Spore Ring Europe
Send any spare spore prints you might have and help the distribution :grin:

Open Source. Freedom.  GNU/Linux

Addicting is not a word.

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Re: Any of your parents give you a drug rehab/college funding ultimatum? What'd you choose? Regrets? [Re: millzy]
    #17371246 -

millzy said:
i don't think anyone with half a brain would disagree that school should be a priority to anyone taking the time to go through it. but what this kid is describing, a little partying here and there, isn't exactly "going out and getting wasted every night". being an engineering student with honors says enough about his personal habits imo unless he's some sort of superbeing.


go through his previous threads this kid isnt just " lightly partying "
he might be an engineering student but im not even in honors and i spend 40+ hours a week studying (im chemical engineering) he's just asking for advice and not really listening even though he knows the answer since multiple people have given it to him in other threads.

he's really just blogging at this point


--------------------
What are you going to do with your liberal arts degree? Write a 3rd person narrative about why you like playing with yourself in the mid-morning, instead of the afternoon, because you can't find a fuckin' job? --Captain Ahab
You'll see an classic example of real world exponential decay when a first year engineering course shrinks into a second year course and even more by third year. - Chem E prof

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