went to visit a friend the other day, in the nuthouse. she's been in there almost a month now.
i never realized that, though i've known a lot of crazy people, people with serious issues and weirdness and poor social skills and maladjusted lives and shit..
i've never actually known someone not living in 'reality'
it's fucking weird man. i feel so bad for her.
had been spending 2, 3, 4 days a week with her for months, then 3 months ago shit got weird, we wound up just fighting constantly, she got mean, i got mean, then she got picked up by the cops and involuntarily committed (for the 3rd time, but first since I've been hanging out with her).
and now she's just... coherent, but delusional.
she's such a good person. i hope she gets better soon. it's painful to see her like this, convinced all the doctors are just toying with her and she's actually fine and they're lying, convinced she needs to meet A Celebrity i won't name because I don't want to give any hints as to who my friend is. a real sweet girl.
i told her i owe her a steak when she gets out, for the awful things i said to her months ago. she laughed, i have a lot of elk and she likes it nice and rare. here's to hoping i can make good on that before the end of summer. here's to hoping this is the last time she decides to go off meds and winds up in there. she's a problem keeping friends, because (as i mentioned) she got fucking *mean* for a while, and she has (always) a tendency to assume people are good while attracting people that aren't in the least (people who lie for sport, manipulative sorts who just see her as an easy mark). i know the last time she didn't have many people keeping in contact with her, the friends she reached out to cut off contact and still refuse to speak to her.
i'm either too fucking stubborn or too fucking stupid to do that, but maybe it'll be helpful to her to have a friend while she was sane, and crazy, and then back to sane again -- someone other than her family to let her know that yeah, staying on meds isn't about keeping you down or controlled or caged or compliant. then again, maybe it won't matter.
regardless, i'd told her long ago that if she wound up back there, i'd visit. she said it's lonely and awful in there and there's not much contact with the outside world, she's limited in how often and long she can use the phone and most people she knows won't call or visit, except for her parents. so, i visit.
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l s and maladjusted lives and shit.. i've never actually known someone not living in 'reality' 
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