keyohnah said:

I would be happier alone than in a relationship that limited my freedom beyond the freedom of dating other people. I like the idea of wanting to talk or be with someone but not obligated. I have my own life, I do my own thing and I think that my alone time is essential to my sanity but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be happy in a relationship. There's something great when you find someone who accepts you for who you are and how you live. It's nice to have someone there but a relationship should never compromise who you are.
I hate the idea of being in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship but if you can find the person that you connect with relationships can be fantastic. When it works, it works -- when it doesn't, it doesn't.

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These emboldened things are how I feel too. I got out of a 14 year relationship at this time last year. I posted on it somewhere in here. It was a very hard thing for me to do. I still cry a little when thinking of the good times, and how it could/should have been.

I still talk to the ex sometimes. I am thinking of going back but this is the 5th time I have left! I keep leaving for a reason(s).

I get a little bored and sad being alone sometimes but am slowly getting used to it. I was in a situation where I could not go out of town alone, go almost anywhere alone, and would have to call after a few hours of being gone (if I could be gone for that long without getting grief). The ex was/is a very insecure, needy, low self esteem, self righteous, and very quick to anger person.

They would also bring things up to hurt me with some secrets I told them in confidentiality about myself, turning them into weapons to hurt me on purpose! Sometimes things that happened more than 5-10 years prior (when in another argument/fight) would be brought back up!

We were fighting at least once a week near the end. The more I think about the extremely negative things that I went through/put myself through, the more I value my being "alone."

I have been dating someone for the last year and they know I go on dates with others. I tell them and anyone else what I want/need for now. If they do not want to deal with that then they are free to go away. I am getting to an age where I want what I feel I need, and don't feel I have to put up with a lot of BS to have someone there with me. I came to the realization just last night that I have to call it off. I have a date for the opera with them on Friday too.

I feel like an open relationship is truly what I want/need for now. I would give the same respect to anyone who wants to be with me. I also feel that the pressure that society/media/peers/friends/family puts on us to be monogamous is very bad. Not everyone can/wants to be monogamous.

I don't mean fucking everyone you see, but when a connection is there and it is a mutual feeling, and both parties want to explore that, then it should be OK. I hope I find that one day with a very nice good person. I have met several couples that are in a relationship like the one I want and have been in it for 10 years plus.

*SIGH*

You hit a nerve here Newbie. I need/want my freedom, BUT I want/need companionship too. I would love to build a life with someone (monetarily as well as mentally/physically) and share life's experiences with them in a very close personal way that can only be shared with someone close to oneself. I have experienced it before a couple of times.

This last one was really good except for the anger and BS. I have physical scars as well as mental to last me a lifetime. I learned some VERY valuable lessons from my ex. I wonder if I will ever find the elusive person that will stay with me and just be cool. No BS, games, or upsets. *SIGH*

Newbie said:

I don't want a wife, don't want kids, I just want me.

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Hey Newbie

I also feel this way too man, been in a serious (7yr) relationship and about 8-9 different shorter ones (not including 1 nighters), and as im getting a bit older (im 29) im realizing relationships are just NOT for me..

As soon as i get into a relationship, i cant wait to get out of it.. freedom of doing what ever, not having to compromise on anything... its just too good. I have a lot of hobbies/priorities and would NEVER compromise any of them for a relationship any more; not to mention the freedom of moving state/country, changing jobs etc..

I definitely DONT want kids or to ever get married, and im avoiding dating... none of my friends seem to understand why im like this but funnily i dont understand how you could settle for the same person for longer than a few months and how people can lock themselfs in 20-40yr bank loans and commitments etc.. just cant be bothered with it, period!

friends with benefits all the way i reckon

good to see others feel the same way though! Awesome

Shins said:

I thought of another word; hedonism.

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akira_akuma said:

don't you realize you guys just want control?

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Yep for sure!!

always_flying said:

akira_akuma said:

don't you realize you guys just want control?

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Yep for sure!!

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vying for control is complicated, but if you can land that kind of neurotic polygamously enticed chick, then all the power to ya!

akira_akuma said:

considering we can use less neurosis in this world, from contaminating our gene-pool.

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LOL got ya!
yeah you are right.. maybe one day, but at the moment im staying well clear of any r/ships... no time, having too much fun!!

Shins said:

A few things come to mind....

sour grapes

laziness

irresponsability

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Newbie said:

I don't want a wife, don't want kids, I just want me. 

Anyone else in a similar boat?  When did you realize that a relationship just wasn't for you?

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tyrannicalrex said:

They would also bring things up to hurt me with some secrets I told them in confidentiality about myself, turning them into weapons to hurt me on purpose! Sometimes things that happened more than 5-10 years prior (when in another argument/fight) would be brought back up!

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akira_akuma said:

don't you realize you guys just want control?

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Newbie said:

tyrannicalrex said:

They would also bring things up to hurt me with some secrets I told them in confidentiality about myself, turning them into weapons to hurt me on purpose! Sometimes things that happened more than 5-10 years prior (when in another argument/fight) would be brought back up!

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That's ALWAYS a bitch.  Women can fight dirty when they want to.  Not trying to gender bash here or anything, just speaking from pure experience.

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LOL, it was a MAN 8 years my senior. (Acted like a real bitch sometimes though) I would always say to him "you're acting like a high school girl!" (not gender bashing either, but you know high school girls/people can be)

I am dating this guy who is a catholic, is a product of the DARE campaign (thinks cannabis is bad mmmmkay, I know it can be for some but I am a very moderate to light smoker when I do smoke), and he just is not very compatible it seems.

Great conversationalist ( I love this), fun to go out with, doesn't get angry, likes to talk things out, all that is good. BUT the part about not liking weed and giving me grief for it while he pounds a 6 pack and drinks shots of 99 cherries in an hour or 2 makes me kind of not like him/his hypocrisy.

I am not some Bob Marley smoke err day kind of person. I do like to smoke when I can. I also have told him of my other interest in various plants/chemicals and that just does not even sit well with him. Crap, I am turning this thread into a psych session for my current date. LOL, Sorry!

In answer to the main question, yes. I think I am better off alone sometimes. I just want/need to find someone who can just let things be, be cool, laid back, and just live easy without stressing over what I feel is BS.