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Anyone here just happier alone? * 1
    #16103896 -

In October I met a girl on OK cupid and we hit it off from the first date perfectly.  We didn't stop talking the entire time.  She's cute, funny, 420 friendly, in decent shape... all great prerequisites.  We made our dating official about 2 months later and things were going great.  Then one day I just woke up and wanted nothing to do with a relationship anymore.  I can be retarded like that sometimes so I slept on it a few nights, and I still felt the same.  I broke up with her later that day. 

I felt like if I wasn't dating or in a relationship, I couldn't be happy.  Before her I was in a huge rut and after I got my head straight I decided to try the dating world again, because it's what I thought I wanted. I felt like absolute shit for putting her through that.  I gave it my all; I was really on the up and up and that day I woke up it just all left me.

It sucks she had to be the guinea pig, so to speak, but after that relationship I realized I value my freedom.  I like just being me without answering to anyone.  I still have a sex drive and all, don't get me wrong, but it was a huge moment of clarity for me that I just do not belong in a relationship, and it's a load off my mind being able to admit that to myself.  I'm more of a friends with benefits type person, and for the first time in my life I know that's ok.

I don't want a wife, don't want kids, I just want me. 

Anyone else in a similar boat?  When did you realize that a relationship just wasn't for you?

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16103907 -

Yes.

I can't imagine confining myself to one woman and not being able to ever be completely free, because one doesn't condone my actions.


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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16103908 -

Maybe down the line things will change. Right now I'm right there with ya though.


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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16103912 -

Well I personally, as an 18 year old, have had similar experiences; I figure, however, that my views on shit like this are going to be changing throughout my life, so I wouldn’t say I am exactly in the same boat.


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AFOAF once told me to do drugs, so then I did.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Trypppy]
    #16103923 -

I'm 26.  When I was 18 and still with my high school sweetheart (of 3 years) I wanted nothing more than to settle down, but through my experiences over the years I realized that it's more of a societal push.  It's not what I want anymore and I finally don't feel like a piece of shit for feeling that way.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16103927 -

Relationships are a great way to grow as a person; certainly a lot more than people give them credit for.  At the same time, they often bring lots of drama and craziness.  It's a double-edged sword.  As long as the chick isn't trying to mold me to her will then I'm fine with telling her what's up or whatever.  What "freedom" are you referencing?  Banging other girls freedom?


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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Trypppy]
    #16103935 -

I look at women as a investment in time and money in order for me to receive sex nothing more and nothing less. I can honestly say I have never had a real connection with a women on an emotionally level maybe that will change in the future, but if it did I would not be the same person.


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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Gilgamesh18] * 1
    #16103946 -

Gilgamesh18 said:
I look at women as a investment in time and money in order for me to receive sex nothing more and nothing less. I can honestly say I have never had a real connection with a women on an emotionally level maybe that will change in the future, but if it did I would not be the same person.



seems pretty damn sad to me, but perhaps I am just being naive. Do what makes you happy i suppose.


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AFOAF once told me to do drugs, so then I did.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Trypppy]
    #16103954 -

I don't know if I'm happier alone but I am alone because I want to be for the time being until I get myself sorted out.


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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Trypppy]
    #16103973 -

Trypppy said:
Gilgamesh18 said:
I look at women as a investment in time and money in order for me to receive sex nothing more and nothing less. I can honestly say I have never had a real connection with a women on an emotionally level maybe that will change in the future, but if it did I would not be the same person.



seems pretty damn sad to me, but perhaps I am just being naive. Do what makes you happy i suppose.



It does for the most part I can sate my animalistic urges and then move on to other more important matters.


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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: All We Perceive]
    #16103974 -

All We Perceive said:
Relationships are a great way to grow as a person; certainly a lot more than people give them credit for.  At the same time, they often bring lots of drama and craziness.  It's a double-edged sword.  As long as the chick isn't trying to mold me to her will then I'm fine with telling her what's up or whatever.  What "freedom" are you referencing?  Banging other girls freedom?



When I say freedom I mean no obligations to text them every day, call, report my life, etc.  I just don't want that connection/tie.  I don't want commitment.  I'm far from a "player"...  I just don't want that bond.  I'd prefer to hang out every now and then, call every now and then, etc.  I don't want to be questioned when I'm not actively communicating or anything like that.

She didn't go overboard or anything with it, but I just started realizing that I was in a real relationship again and I didn't want anything to do with it.  I was in over my head.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Gilgamesh18]
    #16104014 -

Gilgamesh18 said:
Trypppy said:
Gilgamesh18 said:
I look at women as a investment in time and money in order for me to receive sex nothing more and nothing less. I can honestly say I have never had a real connection with a women on an emotionally level maybe that will change in the future, but if it did I would not be the same person.



seems pretty damn sad to me, but perhaps I am just being naive. Do what makes you happy i suppose.



It does for the most part I can sate my animalistic urges and then move on to other more important matters.



I think there are very few matters more important than your relations with other human beings. But then it is just a matter of priorities, and you and I simply have different ones :thumbup:


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AFOAF once told me to do drugs, so then I did.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
    #16104019 -

+1 fo sure. It sucks not getting laid. But getting laid isn't worth the headache of a woman.

It sucks that I put my ex through what I did, but she's doing better now.

I don't understand the people who are in a hurry to have kids and everything. It's like they just want to continue the cycle but don't have any knowledge or worldly experience to pass down to their offspring. I think of these people as "breeders". Just here to hump and make more people just because it feels right.

I wish people would focus on themselves more. Get educated, make money, figure themselves out before settling down; instead of often being a burden on the system.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Trypppy]
    #16104022 -

I agree Trypppy


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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Trypppy]
    #16104028 -

I've had plenty of true connections with women, but it just never worked out.  I took what I learned, moved on, and applied it to the next relationship.  There are so many people these days, both men and women, that would rather friends with benefits, and I know now that I fall into that category.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16104031 -

i'm 25 and i feel that way, mostly.

a warm body to wake up to would be nice, though.  i could maintain a happy relationship if they understood and cherished the value of "me time" as much as i do. 

also, drama is bad and most girls/women have or create drama


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channel your inner Larry David

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: demiu5]
    #16104040 -

A warm body next to you is nice, but having an entire bed to sprawl out on is a tad better IMHO.  It's more of a frequency thing I guess...  I LOVE waking up next to a girl I just slept with the previous night, waking up and making us both breakfast and coffee, etc, but I don't want it to be a regular thing or something that's expected of me.

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16104064 -

at one point in my life, i had a queen sized bed.  even with a girl in bed, i could sprawl out comfortably, and i'm ~6'3"

but yea, the twin bed i'm currently on doesn't even comfortably contain just me :lol:


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channel your inner Larry David

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: Newbie]
    #16104069 -

Groovy post Newbie.

Can't say that I feel exactly the same way as you, and I think that may have something to do with my generally "lone wolf" disposition.  Which is to say, I enjoy the consistency, support and comfort of having a live-in mate, because I'm generally not that interested in putting myself out there to meet or interact with new people.  It's a strange thing, because in a social situation I am typically very responsive and engaging, but rarely do I seek out those situations.  In truth, I probably avoid them quite a bit, even though my personality tends to draw people in.

With respect to a monogamous relationship, I have always been completely at ease with it.  The only time that turbulence manifests, is when a partner has a lapse of tolerance and begins to stubbornly push their subjective will or opinion with an intent to force or convince me why their method is correct.  However, we all make these mistakes from time to time, so as long as we are both mutually respectful individuals co-habitating and caring for one another, a monogamous relationship is nothing short of bliss for me, and indeed is something I hold as one of my primary motivations in life.

To note, because of my repeated failure in finding a mate of more than a handful of years at a time, I am becoming a bit more choosey about who I engage.  This has in part helped to keep me single for longer than I would prefer on this go-round, though other unrelated factors have also played a hand in the delay.  Nevertheless, I was presented a surefire opportunity of late, and withdrew for reasons that I am still examining... hence why your topic here has intrigued me!

So, I guess what I'm really trying to get at here is... please pack up your cute, funny, 420 friendly, decently shaped gal and send her my way! :tongue2::spliff:


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··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...

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Re: Anyone here just happier alone? [Re: geokills]
    #16104093 -

That's my disposition too.  I'm very choosy, to the point where if I don't feel it in my *gulp* heart, I want no part of it.  Every part of my being needs to scream, "KEEP HER!!!!" or I'm just not interested.

I'm a very social person, despite my introverted personality, and if I'm picking "the one" she needs to be damn special.


And my ex already found a new mate (for now).  Sorry charlie.

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