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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: shadyy]
    #15861673 -

boner soup said:
Do what you can. You have to force it.

Print out your original post and present it to her.

Tell her that's how you feel and you can't deal with it alone.

I believe she will help you. You just need to tell her that you need her help.

Avoidance is not healthy and I feel this would be very therapeutic for both of you.


I don't have a printer so I sent it to her in email and she just texted back and said

"I don't know what to say"

I'm not sure if I expect her to know what to say. I don't even know what to do.

:header:


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IT'S A FISHY!!!!! ----> :fishy:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15861723 -

Have these discussions face to face.

Give her some time to gather her thoughts, but don't let it disappear.

She has to have some feeling toward it. Talking about it can only benefit you two.

I can't give much more advice than what's been said by myself and the other posters here.

Again, good luck.


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15861736 -

You just have to keep trucking man, even when you think you can't go on anymore.  You can.  You can always keep going.  Never stop. Ever.  Those voices in your head aren't real, and at the end of the day you understand that you have schizofrenia and you understand that they aren't real.  Don't stress yourself out trying to "resist" your illness, but keep reminding yourself it isn't real.  Keep reminding yourself that you are a strong, intelligent individual and that no matter what an uncooperative brain might throw at you, you still have what it takes to maintain a firm grip on your life and help the people around you.

Stop indulging in negative emotions.  You haven't lost the ability to feel the good stuff, you are just distracted by the bad stuff.  You're distracted by fear.  Quit letting fear rule your life and brave on through it.  Even when you think you have no idea what you're doing, just keep on pushing through.  Eventually, you'll remember how to feel good again, and you'll realize that you've actually been in control this whole time, even if you didn't realize it.  The fact that you sat down on the shroomery and typed that up as coherently as you did shows that YOU are still in control.

I know it's not easy, but you can do it.  :peace:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: shadyy]
    #15861738 -

Thanks.

And thank you to the rest of you for your support/advice.

:hug:

my little shroomery family

:peace:


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IT'S A FISHY!!!!! ----> :fishy:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15861748 -

Bundy said:
boner soup said:
Do what you can. You have to force it.

Print out your original post and present it to her.

Tell her that's how you feel and you can't deal with it alone.

I believe she will help you. You just need to tell her that you need her help.

Avoidance is not healthy and I feel this would be very therapeutic for both of you.


I don't have a printer so I sent it to her in email and she just texted back and said

"I don't know what to say"

I'm not sure if I expect her to know what to say. I don't even know what to do.

:header:


She probably doesn't know what to say because she feels bad that she didn't realize how much you are suffering, not because she is afraid of your illness or anything like that.  To me, that alone shows not only that she cares about you very much but that you are in a lot better control than you think.

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15861752 -

Remember..you're fucking awesome.


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: shadyy]
    #15861768 -

boner soup said:
Remember..you're fucking awesome.


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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15861801 -

Bundy said:
boner soup said:
Do what you can. You have to force it.

Print out your original post and present it to her.

Tell her that's how you feel and you can't deal with it alone.

I believe she will help you. You just need to tell her that you need her help.

Avoidance is not healthy and I feel this would be very therapeutic for both of you.


I don't have a printer so I sent it to her in email and she just texted back and said

"I don't know what to say"

I'm not sure if I expect her to know what to say. I don't even know what to do.

:header:



has she witnessed a full blown psychotic break yet or something significant enough that someone had to call the police or you had to be taken to the hospital? events like these tend to raise curiosity at the very least... has your behavior ever caused her to cry? does she know you hear voices? if she's been through all of this then she's up to speed and just appreciates the time things are just chill.


K~~~ :psychsplit:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: cateyes]
    #15862591 -

@Cateyes

I've texted her before we lived together when I was having "episodes" telling her aliens were out to get me.

I've been sent to the hospital but never admitted. From suicide attempts.

She knows I hear voices and see's things.

I just don't think she understands. Like if I sleep all day, it's cause I have been over-whelmed by voices/hallucinations. I tell her, and she says "Sorry."
then 5 minutes later she's shaking me telling me to wake up. She doesn't let me sleep.

It's just stuff like ^^^^ that that makes me think she doesn't understand fully, or even enough.


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IT'S A FISHY!!!!! ----> :fishy:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: cateyes]
    #15862784 -

i didn't say he was diagnosed schizophrenic, but it has been theorized by more then one person. and i agree he seems to have been a great father, despite his drug use and mental illness.

my avi is just a gif i found online and really like, nothing more. i think most chicks are crazy, not in a belong in a metal hospital kind of way, but in a twisted logic, hypocritical, attracted to men that are bad for them, kind of way. but let's not make this thread about my jaded view of american women. i was hoping to give my best fatherly advice to Bundy and bring his spirits.

BTW- i would say that at least 50% of american men are also off their rocker.


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:willynilly:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: broken]
    #15862795 -

what.


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15862829 -

Relationship counselling with a psychologist who works well with people diagnosed with schizophrenia.

You're maybe right that your partner doesn't understand and if she doesn't understand then that could be for a range of reasons which may be difficult for you to grasp given the delusions and hallucinations you're coping with.

...so a therapist mediating a conversation between you and your partner and ensuring that both of you aren't letting each of your own patterns of behaviour get in the way of understanding each other, it might be a quicker and more productive way to get to the bottom of things. She could also get some information from the psychologist about living with schizophrenia, about what she may expect and not expect from you and how to live more harmoniously with you and vice versa.

One of the biggest challenges for any parent is for them to start putting the kid first, no matter how the parent feels.. because the kid needs to be washed, clothed, fed, given affection, interacted with, etc. And it's no good to let that stuff slide just because the parent is having a bad day. Some parents who can't look after their own kid, for whatever the reason, then arrange for someone else to look after the child, either some or all of the time. It's one of many options.

So you and your partner may want to think about what arrangements you both can put in place to ensure that regardless of how you're thinking or feeling from moment to moment, the kid is always taken good care of.


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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15862842 -

Crappier parents bring kids into the world all the time.  At least it seems like you care.  The fact that you're worrying means you have what it takes to be a better parent than so many others.

Is your wife a together person?  Single mothers raise wonderful successful children all the time.  As long as you're not violent or abusive, just having you there as a second parent is already better than so many other great kids had.

Do you work?  Do you get disability for your schizophrenia?  If you can provide money in any way, then you can help.  My father is batshit insane.  His father was an alcoholic who killed himself in front of the whole family.  He spent his whole life in boarding school, with no love from his parents, only an occasional envelope of money to buy his love.  So needless to say, he is FUCKED UP.  But even so, I still turned out ok.  Things can still work out, even in crappy circumstances.  In fact, crappy circumstances often give people the strength to survive life in a way that sheltered kids may never be able to. 

Do what you can, and everything will be ok.  This is a blessing, even though it's stressful for you now.  Do you have any idea what I would do for my own baby girl?  But I'm gay, and in my state, I can't marry or adopt, so I'm going to have an exceedingly difficult time having my child.  You're about to have something that millions of people in the world long for every minute of their lives. 

Try your best, and everything will work out.  I truly wish you the best.  If you need to talk, I'm always available. 

You're about to have a beautiful amazing baby girl!  Your life is going to be filled with more love than you've ever known.  Congratulations!


--------------------
Put America to sleep with warm milk and clichés.

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Mufungo]
    #15867152 -

Mufungo said:
Relationship counselling with a psychologist who works well with people diagnosed with schizophrenia.

You're maybe right that your partner doesn't understand and if she doesn't understand then that could be for a range of reasons which may be difficult for you to grasp given the delusions and hallucinations you're coping with.

...so a therapist mediating a conversation between you and your partner and ensuring that both of you aren't letting each of your own patterns of behaviour get in the way of understanding each other, it might be a quicker and more productive way to get to the bottom of things. She could also get some information from the psychologist about living with schizophrenia, about what she may expect and not expect from you and how to live more harmoniously with you and vice versa.

One of the biggest challenges for any parent is for them to start putting the kid first, no matter how the parent feels.. because the kid needs to be washed, clothed, fed, given affection, interacted with, etc. And it's no good to let that stuff slide just because the parent is having a bad day. Some parents who can't look after their own kid, for whatever the reason, then arrange for someone else to look after the child, either some or all of the time. It's one of many options.

So you and your partner may want to think about what arrangements you both can put in place to ensure that regardless of how you're thinking or feeling from moment to moment, the kid is always taken good care of.


Yeah, I'm working on getting back into see a psychotherapist, I was recently released to my primary MD, but he won't work with me and my anti-psychotics, so he wants me back into my psychotherapist. Which is great. I loved going. It was someone to talk to who understood me. Or at least, seemed like she did, which was enough.
I have an appointment next month on the 5th for a re-psych-evaluation. Hopefully they will let me back in to their practice, and see my old psychotherapist again.

If I do, I'm going to have my fiancé sit in with me on a few visits. She'll hear fully what's going on with me, and hear response from a professional. etc etc yada yada.

I'm hoping that will help.

Also, I have one more med I can try ( Invega ) and I'm going to try and get on it.

It's my last hope. but I read a certain percentage of Schizophrenics don't take to anti-psychotics. Which will blow for me, cause I seem to keep getting worse and worse.

( More voices, delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, I'm sleeping most of the day. I'm skipping showers, letting my facial hair grow. Just complete let go, which is scaring me )

I'm just hoping and praying that when my baby girl is born, and I hold her for the first time, all my troubles will melt away. It's a long shot, but :shrug: it may help.

I know this may sound odd but someone once told me ( A Schizophrenic ) he was in a position like mine ( Symptoms getting worse ) and he got a kitten, and said that it changed his life.

I have a good head on my shoulders so far. I hate how my life turned out. I was a grade ahead in school. I was an A/B student ( I did drop out ) and I started a great paying career, making great money. Then I fell apart.

I just hope my baby girl saves me. I know that sounds selfish.

I think I'm rambling. Just trying to make sense of what I'm writing.

Again, I thank all of you so much.


--------------------
IT'S A FISHY!!!!! ----> :fishy:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15867229 -

:strokebeard: maybe try a kitten. They are supposed to be good w/ PTSD as well.....Something about their puuring ive read is calming b/c it signifies nothing is wrong in the environment.....kinda cool I suppose


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Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy]
    #15867243 -

FYI dude, I hope your not drinking caffeine, smoking cigarettes, or even anything of the sort. Big No no.....every person ive delt with who was psychotic had very bad reactions with each. Stay away from them.....even a cup of green tea is a no no.

good luck


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Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Almond Flour]
    #15867272 -

Ethnobotanical said:
FYI dude, I hope your not drinking caffeine, smoking cigarettes, or even anything of the sort. Big No no.....every person ive delt with who was psychotic had very bad reactions with each. Stay away from them.....even a cup of green tea is a no no.

good luck



lol, I have like 3 cups of coffee in the morning, and smoke about a pack a day.

Honestly, I've quit both, and only felt more crazy.

Well, the caffeine not so much, but I slept all day. And I can't sleep all day.

but without cigarettes, I feel panic, and from what I've heard/read they are researching new drugs ( anti-psychotics ) with nicotine in them, something with the Gaba rays in your brain.

They also calm me, they work like a quick benzo.


--------------------
IT'S A FISHY!!!!! ----> :fishy:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Bundy] * 1
    #15867423 -

Bundy said:
Ethnobotanical said:
FYI dude, I hope your not drinking caffeine, smoking cigarettes, or even anything of the sort. Big No no.....every person ive delt with who was psychotic had very bad reactions with each. Stay away from them.....even a cup of green tea is a no no.

good luck



lol, I have like 3 cups of coffee in the morning, and smoke about a pack a day.

Honestly, I've quit both, and only felt more crazy.

Well, the caffeine not so much, but I slept all day. And I can't sleep all day.

but without cigarettes, I feel panic, and from what I've heard/read they are researching new drugs ( anti-psychotics ) with nicotine in them, something with the Gaba rays in your brain.

They also calm me, they work like a quick benzo.


They calm you down because your body is addicted to them. This is the problem right here with the drug war and societies ignorance when it comes to other drugs that are legal.....and YES coffee and nicotine are drugs....powerful ones that are both stimulants. Your symptoms probably got worse once you quit them because your body was detoxing from them.

You said it yourself, you have been on every antipsychotic there is at max dose. Why not take a leap of faith and consider the fact part of the reasons your brain malfunctions the way it does is based off what you are putting into your body.

3 cups of coffee is an insane amount of caffiene. Research caffienes side effects. Hell there is even psychotic type symptoms associated with the over consumption of caffiene. I know its a pickle though. Anti psychotics make you tired as hell, so it would make sense you would turn to caffiene to pick you up, but Im telling you that alone is contributing a great deal to your stress. I PROMISE YOU 3 cups of coffee is adding to it.

Dont drink natural insectisides created by plants to help you function. Drugs (coffee included) should be reserved for times in need. Once you flush out the caffeine from your system, i PROMISE you will feel more clear headed......you may not be schizophrenia free, but you will be much better off compared to a schizophrenic who drinks 3 cups of coffee a day. Research it!


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Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Almond Flour]
    #15868257 -

Another thing you need to realize Bundy is that you are going to need to play a BIG part in your recovery if you want any hope. Doctors can only do so much, including pharmaceuticals. Take control of your life and drop the unhealthy habits. Every action we take, and anything we put into our bodies has an impact on how we feel in this world. A simple Onion can effect the way in which you feel. Once again if I had any suggestions to you, focus on getting rid of caffeine and nicotine


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

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Re: Oh man... I'm gonna be a father... [Re: Almond Flour]
    #15868325 -

Yeah, definitely cut that shit out, yo.

Seriously.


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

Edited by shadyy (02/27/12 04:12 PM)

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