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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: FractalDust] * 1
    #15576466 -

i can leave out parts of the story where i please. the reason i posted was to add to the thread and say that i also distance myself from a parent (or parents) for my own well being because i share a few common threads behind my reasoning as owls.


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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: Samuel L Jackson] * 1
    #15576477 -

hey i just wanted to stop and say thank you to every single one of you who had something to say in this thread. it all helped me. all of it. thank you


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i love you ♥

you are beautiful! :rockon:



COME TOGETHER, JOIN THE PARTY!!

"what beith a man if he doth not enjoy cannabis?" :mushroom2:

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: Samuel L Jackson]
    #15576481 -

SamuelLJackson said:
i can leave out parts of the story where i please. the reason i posted was to add to the thread and say that i also distance myself from a parent (or parents) for my own well being because i share a few common threads behind my reasoning as owls.


That's cool, didn't mean to offend if I did.


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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: FractalDust] * 1
    #15576487 -

I disowned my dad because I just realized that he was truly a piece of shit...:stonedjerk:


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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: owls]
    #15576503 -

Distancing yourself from your parents is just growing up, we all gotta do it eventually. Being on your own will do you some good.


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HAIL SATAN

Vas donc jouer dans le traffic

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: owls]
    #15576724 -

owls said:
alright so i was adopted, not that that necessarily matters but it seems like the universe is basically telling me more and more that i need to stay away from my parents. to cut it short, they are pretty much very negative people, they aren't accepting of people for who they are... and i've grown up to realize that i am SUCH a different person than they are... i keep telling myself that i love them, and the truth is that i really do... but at the same time i keep getting these glimpses of understanding they they are never going to fully accept who i am... it almost feels like a test, like i'm maybe not supposed to be with them anymore.. gotta follow my heart

i just got in the stupidest argument ever with my father. he was acting very childish and trying to be controlling of me basically and it really hurt my feelings... i plan on spending time away asap to let the fog clear

anyways i was just wondering specifically about anyone who has literally decided it best to just abandon their parents and make their own life.. just feeling a little let down and hurt. but hey, that's life. writing this out actually made me feel heaps better :heart:


My advice to you is to find out what he most wants from you and try to do it while using the least amount of energy possible.

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: thecake]
    #15576772 -

I don't know how old you are, but part of growing up (as I understand it) is coming to the understanding that adults, and in particular your parents, are not perfect.  It is one thing to know something to be true, another to understand it.  I hope you "understand" what I am trying to convey even if my word choice is not ideal.

We are brought up respecting people who are older than us, listening to them and taking their word as truth.  Teachers, our parents etc. 

When we become one of them, we realize that all people are just children that have gone around the sun a few times....  no need to emotionally distance yourself from your parents, but if you feel like they are a negative influence on your life then perhaps it would be good to limit contact.  Unfortunate, but in no way a bad reflection on you.

I wish you the best Owls, I feel like you are a generally good guy.


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:wizard::deemsters:

Edited by NWlight (12/27/11 04:29 AM)

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: NWlight]
    #15578400 -

great advice both of you. thanks

things are going to be fine, whatever happens. i've been extra emotional lately as well and that's part of the issue is that things tend to seem like much bigger deals than they are in my mind


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i love you ♥

you are beautiful! :rockon:



COME TOGETHER, JOIN THE PARTY!!

"what beith a man if he doth not enjoy cannabis?" :mushroom2:

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: Speck1186]
    #15578436 -

Speck1186 said:
I disowned my dad because I just realized that he was truly a piece of shit...:stonedjerk:



And in other scenarios, that is just how black and white it really is; an asshole is an asshole, weather it is my dad, or my neighbor.


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Now pick me up night and whirlwind and let me ride with you to peace of mind and nothing to rebel...

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: GrimTroll]
    #15578449 -

in my heart i want to be at peace with everybody, sometimes i'm not sure how possible that is. some people i find it's simply best to avoid. if those people turn out to be your own parents, that's just life :shrug:


--------------------
i love you ♥

you are beautiful! :rockon:



COME TOGETHER, JOIN THE PARTY!!

"what beith a man if he doth not enjoy cannabis?" :mushroom2:

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: owls]
    #15578495 -

I have seen or talked to my dad since I was 10 years old , When  I was 16 my mom kicked me out of her and her husbands house.

She has since found god and all this other shit and nothing is anknoldege not even the fact of who my dad is like shes some how brainwashed herself into that never happening.

Lots of other shit but I maybe see them 1 or 2 times a year, and they can all rot for all I care.  Grandparents are still ok in my book took me in when no one else would  :thumbup:


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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.


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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: trekie]
    #15579524 -

I got kicked out of the house when I was 15 haven't really talked that much to my mother since then seeing as shortly after she basically aboneded all her kids and had no contact with them for years, which had a serious impact on my youngest sister. Just recently started talking to my dad again, feels good to have the relationship repaired, don't know if that'll ever happen with my mother. Most of my cousins and all of my aunties won't talk to me, for various reasons. Hell at my grandfathers funeral I never even got a hug from any of them. I don't really go to family gaherings as there's always fights breaking out between everyone, screaming matches, ruined holidays. My family is so fractured. Which is why I remove myself from them as much as possible.

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #15579537 -

damn dude.. that's a lot rougher than i have it :hug:

i feel very distant from just about every single one of my relatives as well. last time i was visiting for christmas it was awkward as hell, most of them hardly even spoke to me. i could care less, it's just weird

glad you fixed the relationship with your father. hope everything goes well for you


--------------------
i love you ♥

you are beautiful! :rockon:



COME TOGETHER, JOIN THE PARTY!!

"what beith a man if he doth not enjoy cannabis?" :mushroom2:

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: owls]
    #15579747 -

Its not all that bad, except when I think about it or I'm around them which isn't all to often. Seems most people I know have fucked up families :hug:

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #15579843 -

sometimes distance is the only remedy for family relationships.


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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #15581187 -

I know the feel... I rarely if ever talk to my father, and while I love my mom because she's great I hate the shit out of her side of the family. She loves them to much, I don't know how after all the shit they've done. I'm all for forgiveness and everything, but I'm not for forgetting, w/e you live and you move on. I hope you work out shit with your mother eventually Bodhi :hug:

And owls I'm sure you'll work shit out with your parents, just hang in there :thumbup:


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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: DivineIntensity]
    #15581276 -

Owls - when I was 17 I had a really bad relationship with my parents and left home never wanting to have anything to do with them.. But over time we mended our relationship and now we are really close and its something special.

My advice - move out, and like shroomism says you will learn a thing or too. Remember perception is a big thing.


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Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One

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Re: anyone decided to distance themselves from parents for their own wellbeing? this is hurting me [Re: DivineIntensity]
    #15582573 -

DivineIntensity said:
I know the feel...I don't know how after all the shit they've done.


i simply can't have an adult relationship with people who don't act like adults. i think a lot of kids' parents fall under this category, and it's the source of the problems between them.

my situation is similar. my parents made some decisions in my youth that led to some truly terrible things happening that i continue to struggle with as an adult. they've never listened to me, and they are completely unrepentant about anything they do. whenever i'm wrong, or i do something wrong, i own it. they can't even be bothered to apologize for the little stuff because i will always be the child and they will always be right. they've never taken me seriously. they may say they do but their actions speak louder. and after almost 33 years of dealing with them i've pretty much chosen to just stop participating in the family.

they're a mess. my father is a dry drunk who is completely checked out and my mother has an eating disorder that's put her on her death bed several times the past few years. they've filed bankruptcy at least twice and just lost their home to foreclosure. i'm not even sure if they can afford to pay rent in the house they somehow got because it's too expensive. oddly, they were able to take a trip out of town for christmas even though my mother was telling me she didn't know if they could make rent for january.

i guess i love them, but i don't want to be a part of their life anymore. i remember when i moved to greece thinking to myself on a few occasions how good it felt to have a substantial body of water between us. i'm not sure if i can manage that again anytime soon, but a few states would be nice.


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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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