went to the E.R tonight, woke up and my right hand was nearly unfunction?!?! FML?

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PsilocybinMike
T.F.Y.Q.A

Registered: 02/18/08
Posts: 2,602
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months

went to the E.R tonight, woke up and my right hand was nearly unfunction?!?! FML?

#15484347 - 12/08/11 04:59 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

I think I slept on my arm the wrong way (only logical theory). Woke up in the miidle of the might to grab a drink, couldn't even grip the bottle. Slept more hrs woke up unable to even fucking use a spoon eating cheerios. I had also got on the comp. can BARELY type/use the mouse (right handed); using seek n destroy 1 key at a w just my left hand, which actually drastically effects on skillset for work as in the past I've always worked in office setting using computers, much of that time spent doing data entry where typng skills are accuracy is completely critical.

I had blood work done, urinary analysis, and an MRI (my first), and essentially came back clean minus a severely pinched nerve, potential nerve damage w, absolutely no time line of when/if i can except functionality of my right hand to return (I'm right handed also, to make things worse), or a surgery or surgeries will be required. I've been laid off since May and just recently I've had numrtous offers including actual good fulltme CAREERS for real companies (not staffing agencies) offering benefits, 401k, vacation, paid lunch, sick/personal days, now all potentially fucked over by literally n over night freak occurrence.

I might even have to apply disability,w.o my right arm i cant as much sign a check or legal documents (tonight at the hospital i had to sign shit and it was just straight/lines mark. It'd be like a professional
pianist losing a hand or getting nerve damage, I'm thinking itd b similar, a lot of depression, but not that run of the mill depression that fuckin frustrating, helpless depression where the reality is no matter what EVER I do, I am, TRAPPED from variables i cannot contol it. I am 23 and family vulnerabilities to bipolar/manic depression/and full blowb physosis. I'm am only child raised by mom who I lived alone since. She did month long stints in pyschwards since i was 7 up until maybe 4-5 years ago she married my stepdad amd finally stablized after too many to remember visits to the psychward, COUNTLESS changes in her medications, essentially they give her anything under the sun like some guniea pi

I'd always try and conceal my issues issues, you know, bottle it up like a mans suppposed to do right? :dumbass:

..

But when you live with serious mental illness diagnosis which I was blessed with inheriting genetically. I din't eve tell them, I do adderal (RXd), somtime blaze a gram with boys(back when I worked people i could cal my BOYS, not just phony small co-workers who only meet your watered down) and just superhuman. But fucking tell bosses, staff, anyone really, there was some "medication room" empty storage cloest you'd have to go into if say you have to take it , some folk on mad kpins, adderal(30+mg 'recreational doses, even opiates, but guess what, that fkin medroom stayed ghost twon cuz no1 is lookn for labels in the dark world of corporate politics and the disgusting phony almost robotic soul-less individuals is creates and nurtures over their tenure as employees. People prefer not telling out our boss what.

Even while avoiding the "label" and that subequent reputation as a "crazy" a=which in time becomes, visually impossible, depressing to the point the hurt in my face is so evident you cant sweep it under the rug to so to speak. I've held down a full time job while showing up regularly looking so distraught, often just looking like shit, absolutely not due to drinking or drugged out. Sending or even just conveying the wrong msg in a professional sitting, desss code, businss professional mannerisms, tone of voice, even body language and "unpsoken messages" you might being put out there, unbeknowsnt you or not, being judged there is so extreme where point concieve of a more judgement environment than a decent sized office building that is usually part of conglomerate owned by any company mayvbe with 3 locations, so you've got hundreds of people in 1 building.

Even without this unforsenable career inhibiting inury, my undesirable mental and even some physical traits that are beyond my control and discourage me the point where I'll begin not even trying, stoppped hittibg bars simce May, don't fuck w. match.com or any of that, I always got my girls trhrough word of mouth, female friends, female coworkers. even cousins my age which is great becuase more than anyonr they'd have that uncanny ability to tell a girl the "real me" before I had to do a a damn thing thing because we're family, and they've seen me at my best. They knew the real me and when girls ge to see the real me I have had sucses outside my league many times instead of meeting girls who get to kno me the outsde first.

[sorry for a long post, loaed from hospital drus)

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