Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

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Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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ifoundwaldo

Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 8,389
Loc: Denver, CO

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: bbl337]
#15254299 - 10/20/11 11:12 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

WHAT. THE. FUCK. THAT IS ALL.

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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: Deity208]

1
#15254347 - 10/20/11 11:20 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Deity208 said:

Would you get in any legal trouble if caught?

typically these things are done under a court order, they can find a dozen
things to charge you both with and several will be felony

not to mention your friend is a real fuckhead and you should really do a bit
of soul searching yourself for even considering assisting him

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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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bbl337
genetic material is Ar based

Registered: 02/12/09
Posts: 7,008
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: millzy]
#15254397 - 10/20/11 11:31 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

millzy said:

i thought you were talking about the whole poke a hole in your diaphragm type deal. how would a woman steal sperm, keep it cold enough to impregnate herself (assuming she has the means to) and have access to the donor's information? i've never heard of such a thing happening.

I forget the name of the guy, but he was moderately famous/wealthy and he was having a 3some with 2 chicks. He finished, threw out the condom in the bathroom and this girl shortly afterwards went in to "pee". He somehow stumbled back in and found her emptying the condom into herself.

Has happened

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KingEmblem
Cannaisseur

Registered: 03/27/10
Posts: 871
Loc: LA
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: bbl337]
#15254471 - 10/20/11 11:47 PM (14 years, 11 months ago)

bbl337 said:

millzy said:

i thought you were talking about the whole poke a hole in your diaphragm type deal. how would a woman steal sperm, keep it cold enough to impregnate herself (assuming she has the means to) and have access to the donor's information? i've never heard of such a thing happening.

I forget the name of the guy, but he was moderately famous/wealthy and he was having a 3some with 2 chicks. He finished, threw out the condom in the bathroom and this girl shortly afterwards went in to "pee". He somehow stumbled back in and found her emptying the condom into herself.

Has happened

I think this type of situation, which happens pretty often, is good evidence that women as a whole are a bit crazier than men. What the fuck is that bitch thinking? She wants child support or to trap the guy into marriage? With famous people and the crazier bitches it's probably about worshiping the guy. :facepalm:

How could you do something so greedy as bringing in an unwanted, likely fatherless child to the world for money or a poor attempt at a relationship? :sad:

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triptych

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millzy

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,431

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: ifoundwaldo]
#15254767 - 10/21/11 12:51 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

ifoundwaldo said:

WHAT. THE. FUCK. THAT IS ALL.

fucking epic.

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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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millzy

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,431

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: bbl337]
#15254776 - 10/21/11 12:53 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

bbl337 said:

millzy said:

i thought you were talking about the whole poke a hole in your diaphragm type deal. how would a woman steal sperm, keep it cold enough to impregnate herself (assuming she has the means to) and have access to the donor's information? i've never heard of such a thing happening.

I forget the name of the guy, but he was moderately famous/wealthy and he was having a 3some with 2 chicks. He finished, threw out the condom in the bathroom and this girl shortly afterwards went in to "pee". He somehow stumbled back in and found her emptying the condom into herself.

Has happened

i've heard about that too, but i've also heard that sperm doesn't last but a few seconds outside a uterus, which is why you have to blow so much up in there to get one to take root. seems a bit urban legend to me, but maybe it has actually happened. in any case, taking a paternity test for a friend is some scumbag shit. someone asking me to do that for them would make me rethink being friends with them.

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I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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wildernessjunkie
Reshitivest

Registered: 06/13/10
Posts: 8,118
Loc: HTTP 404 Not Found

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: millzy]
#15254822 - 10/21/11 01:04 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

i've heard about that too, but i've also heard that sperm doesn't last but a few seconds outside a uterus, which is why you have to blow so much up in there to get one to take root

I think the sperm bank might disagree with this one.

Might also check out the term "Splash Conception".

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Wise Toad

Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 2,690

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: wildernessjunkie]
#15255250 - 10/21/11 03:53 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Depends on what drugs I use before taking the test

moreover what drugs I want to take before deciding whether or not to go through with it

WAIT, why did it get this far; ever heard of abortions, there was a good thread on this http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15253959#15253959

At the very least he could have found some (chloroform, jack, ether) filed a tub with Ice and used a baseball bat; that form of abortion would be much better than bringing a kid to a hell like this

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antiPock
fighting entropy

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 2,509
Loc: Sol 3

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: Deity208]
#15255316 - 10/21/11 04:32 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Deity208 said:

Any moral concerns?
Would you get in any legal trouble if caught?

WTF? I hope so on both counts (get caught, have "legal trouble")

MTFU

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PatrickKn

Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 22,362

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: antiPock]
#15255334 - 10/21/11 04:47 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

What a piece of fucking shit. Seriously. Fuck your friend....

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Mr. Anderson
πριν από το χρόνο κάποιου

Registered: 09/05/10
Posts: 2,677
Loc: Torn between the roots of...

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: PatrickKn]
#15255342 - 10/21/11 04:58 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

Yea I'm a douchebag, id probably do it if I could get away with it. It'd be hard tho when you got tatts up to your fkn ears n sht tho.

Some bitches just will be tryin to get knocked up and start shit to collect and find another man. Seen that shit plenty of times, idk how thats not just as bad.

I myself wouldn't put myself in that predicament. I don't have kids and won't til I'm much much older.

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Disclaimer: All posts are completely fictional and or for educational purposes only.

Edited by Mr. Anderson (10/21/11 05:06 AM)

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vinsue
Grand Old Fart

Registered: 02/17/04
Posts: 17,953
Loc: The Garden State(NJ)

Re: Would you take a paternity test for a friend?

[Re: bbl337]
#15255387 - 10/21/11 05:28 AM (14 years, 11 months ago)

bbl337 said:

stolen sperm...

Sperm burglar, LOL . . . :peace:

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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:

... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) . :mod:

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