Auto-SummaryThe post is from a 20-year-old with multiple psychiatric disorders, including depression, anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia, OCD, and hypochondria. They have tried various medications with little success and rely on marijuana to alleviate symptoms. The user believes marijuana helps with stomach problems, insomnia, social anxiety, agoraphobia, and panic/anxiety, but not with lethargy or apathy. They are concerned about the potential dangers of marijuana and its impact on their mental health, as well as the possibility of trying LSD or shrooms. The user asks for advice on whether to continue using marijuana or seek alternative treatments, acknowledging their low willpower and previous negative experiences with legal medications.
Hi all i'm new to this place and after reading the posts here for a few days im deciding to ask you guys a very important question to me. I have a very long list of pychiatric illnesses(sp?) including depression, anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia, ocd, and hypocondria.
Now alot of these problems have been with me for a very long time, and some developed as I grew. I've been on Paxil, Prozac, effexor, celexa, wellbutrin, adderall, ritalin, lithium... basically anything they have out there i've tried and it not only didn't work but made my problems worse and created new problems(threw withdrawl from alot of them more problems came up)and basically left me even worse then when I started.
Here's my situation now. I'm a 20 year old high school drop out, no GED, with social anxiety and agoraphobia and alot of other disorders and I am housebound, i rarely leave my house minus once a week to therapy that my mom drives me to and back.
I started with illigal drugs when I was 18, so i am very confident that my illigal drug use did not cause these problems, they might have made them worse.(i've tried Esctasy, Ketamine, Pot, Alcohol, DXM, and a failed attempt of salvia divorium and cocain)
Now everything but pot had been just an experimental one or two time thing and I've kept it at that, but with the pot its more of a self medication type thing that I'll do whenever that I can, which isn't that much since I never go out, and by not going out have no job or source of money, or any friends or dealers to get the stuff from even if I had money.
My only real way of getting pot is through my brother and his friend, if they share with me, or if i can get money from my mom to buy through him. Pot seems to help every single one of my problems.
I've had stomach problems since I was like 4, and pot gets rid of that and lets me eat normally. I've had insomnia for years, I can sleep on pot. My social phobia seems gone when on pot, I have no trouble talking to other people. My agoraphobia is lessened, I can go out, but while high just usually don't want to and my panic, anxiety and ocd is also reduced on it. The only things that it doesn't help is my apathy or lethargy.
Now I know all about pot and the dangers of it, and that it can sometimes actually cause paranoya and usually does, which is why i am surprised it helps me so much. The biggest problem is of course that it is illigal, if it was legal and i coul dhave it prescribed it would be so much easier. But it does help me more then any pill they have ever given me did.
I have also been thinking about trying LSD/Shrooms to help me, since i've read alot about them using that in helping with depression and anxiety. I'm worried that it could trigger a latent pychological illness, and since i have so many its probable I may have some more locked up there. Though since I live in new york and both lsd and shrooms are impossible to find(Especially for someone who doesn't have ne friends or connections or know any drug dealers)if the rare oppotunity showed itself i would jump on it.(Not literally, I would get the stuff first and prepare for a few days, I am very informed about what i do to my body, its just the fact i dont really care much about my health for me to not do it thats the problem.)
Basically what I'm asking is that can I continue to use weed to help and ultimatly cure(if its possible) myself, or is weed hurting me more then I realize, perhaps stopping me from getting better(if it is possible)or causing more problems with panic and anxiety, and should i stop? I should point out that I do have low willpower, and if i do have weed and im not high I will smoke it, It seems i'm just tired of reality and just don't want to be sober ever... this leads to problems of course where I stole alot from my mom ect but thats another story.
There is also this thing that after long periods of being high i get very depressed, ,tired of living nothing seems as good anymore, and I just want more. The day after being high I feel very wierd, kind of detatched from reality and everything seems far away, I have minor chest discomfort and nausia and stomach problems... the past few times I've actually had diareah the day after, but that may be because I am lactose intolerant and I've eaten alot of pizza and chocolates during the high since they are just so damn good.
Anyway any advice anyone could give would be greatly appreciated. I've given up on pills(the legal kind), I've had so many bad experiences with them that i've convinced myself that they will not work no matter what, and the brain is a powerful tool so they won't work, even if they would have. The pot works but I dont have enough of it for enough of the time, and I'm not sure waht to do about that situation. I've started therapy again, but i've been in therapy since age 9 or 10, and it has never helped so I dont have much faith in that right now, so I don't know what to do. Anyway I'm going to end this now, sorry if it was long.
-------------------- "Are you suicidal?"
"Only in the morning."
---------------------------------------
"I only lied about being a thief."
|