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Pot for anxiety?
    #1510746 -

Hi all i'm new to this place and after reading the posts here for a few days im deciding to ask you guys a very important question to me. I have a very long list of pychiatric illnesses(sp?) including depression, anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia, ocd, and hypocondria.

Now alot of these problems have been with me for a very long time, and some developed as I grew. I've been on Paxil, Prozac, effexor, celexa, wellbutrin, adderall, ritalin, lithium... basically anything they have out there i've tried and it not only didn't work but made my problems worse and created new problems(threw withdrawl from alot of them more problems came up)and basically left me even worse then when I started.

Here's my situation now. I'm a 20 year old high school drop out, no GED, with social anxiety and agoraphobia and alot of other disorders and I am housebound, i rarely leave my house minus once a week to therapy that my mom drives me to and back.

I started with illigal drugs when I was 18, so i am very confident that my illigal drug use did not cause these problems, they might have made them worse.(i've tried Esctasy, Ketamine, Pot, Alcohol, DXM, and a failed attempt of salvia divorium and cocain)

Now everything but pot had been just an experimental one or two time thing and I've kept it at that, but with the pot its more of a self medication type thing that I'll do whenever that I can, which isn't that much since I never go out, and by not going out have no job or source of money, or any friends or dealers to get the stuff from even if I had money.

My only real way of getting pot is through my brother and his friend, if they share with me, or if i can get money from my mom to buy through him. Pot seems to help every single one of my problems.

I've had stomach problems since I was like 4, and pot gets rid of that and lets me eat normally. I've had insomnia for years, I can sleep on pot. My social phobia seems gone when on pot, I have no trouble talking to other people. My agoraphobia is lessened,  I can go out, but while high just usually don't want to  :smirk: and my panic, anxiety and ocd is also reduced on it. The only things that it doesn't help is my apathy or lethargy.

Now I know all about pot and the dangers of it, and that it can sometimes actually cause paranoya and usually does,  which is why i am surprised it helps me so much. The biggest problem is of course that it is illigal, if it was legal and i coul dhave it prescribed it would be so much easier. But it does help me more then any pill they have ever given me did.

I have also been thinking about trying LSD/Shrooms to help me, since i've read alot about them using that in helping with depression and anxiety. I'm worried that it could trigger a latent pychological illness, and since i have so many its probable I may have some more locked up there. Though since I live in new york and both lsd and shrooms are impossible to find(Especially for someone who doesn't have ne friends or connections or know any drug dealers)if the rare oppotunity showed itself i would jump on it.(Not literally, I would get the stuff first and prepare for a few days, I am very informed about what i do to my body, its just the fact i dont really care much about my health for me to not do it thats the problem.)

Basically what I'm asking is that can I continue to use weed to help and ultimatly cure(if its possible) myself, or is weed hurting me more then I realize, perhaps stopping me from getting better(if it is possible)or causing more problems with panic and anxiety, and should i stop? I should point out that I do have low willpower, and if i do have weed and im not high I will smoke it, It seems i'm just tired of reality and just don't want to be sober ever... this leads to problems of course where I stole alot from my mom ect but thats another story.

There is also this thing that after long periods of being high i get very depressed, ,tired of living nothing seems as good anymore, and I just want more. The day after being high I feel very wierd, kind of detatched from reality and everything seems far away, I have minor chest discomfort and nausia and stomach problems... the past few times I've actually had diareah the day after, but that may be because I am lactose intolerant and I've eaten alot of pizza and chocolates during the high since they are just so damn good.

Anyway any advice anyone could give would be greatly appreciated. I've given up on pills(the legal kind), I've had so many bad experiences with them that i've convinced myself that they will not work no matter what, and the brain is a powerful tool so they won't work, even if they would have. The pot works but I dont have enough of it for enough of the time, and I'm not sure waht to do about that situation. I've started therapy again, but i've been in therapy since age 9 or 10, and it has never helped so I dont have much faith in that right now, so I don't know what to do.  Anyway I'm going to end this now, sorry if it was long. 


--------------------
"Are you suicidal?"
"Only in the morning."
---------------------------------------
"I only lied about being a thief."

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1511024 -



HERB: its a medicine, if it helps use it. Take care not to let it become a problem in your life. You may want to try getting a job somewhere doing anything, try a janitorial position where you can work by yourself.

Do things that you think will improve your self-perception, try hiking, taking up any old hobby HEY! why not mycology? Visit you library, study philosophy and religion, see what timeless scholars have to say about life and its woes.

No medication, no drug, nothing but you will CURE your ailments (pysical or mental), many may disagree with that but IMHO its true, medications are helpfull along the road but you need to learn to stand on your own two feet.

I would hold off on the hallucinogens, it doesnt sound to me like your ready to "go there" yet. From your post it doesn't sound like your in a positive enough mindset, more like your looking for more options to pry you out of this rut,

nothing is impossible, just dont get high all day, STAY FIT! thats a big one i forgot to mention (nothing like a natural high), and look toward your future not toward you imperfections.


-outdoorhaze-


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I believe i will go out to the seashore, let the waves wash my mind. Gunna open up my head now just to see what i can find...

Edited by ODhaze (05/01/03 10:22 AM)

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: ODhaze]
    #1511080 -

FIrst off thanks for the time you took to read and reply to my post. I didn't really get it totally explained i don't think in the previous post, but will make it more clear here in responce to your advice.

Quote:
HERB: its a medicine, if it helps use it. Take care not to let it become a problem in your life. You may want to try getting a job somewhere doing anything, try a janitorial position where you can work by yourself.



Its not just being around people(social phobia) its the agoraphobia too(fear of being outside) whenever i step outside i panic, i get anxiety and just get very very uncomfortable.

Quote:
Do things that you think will improve your self-perception, try hiking, taking up any old hobby HEY! why not mycology? Visit you library, study philosophy and religion, see what timeless scholars have to say about life and its woes.



Thats my problem. I dont seem to care about improving my self-perception. I have no desire to read, study, do any activity that requires much work. Alot of therapists have given up on me because "I do not want to get better." One of the big problems is that because of my past(and the cause of my mental problems) i have lost interest in reality(i think i mentioned this)reality was awful to me, and no matter how long i waited and how hard i tried and how many times someone said "it will get better" it just got worse, and eventually I just gave up. Not suicidal, but not for living either.

Its more like I'm just existing. I have no interest in reality at all, i don't want to experience it and I take great pleasure in altering it. Sleeping, drugs, video games, movies, fantasy stories. Anything that i can use to escape reality I use, and I know this is a problem, I just have no idea how I can get a positive view of sobriety after a lifetime of shit that just made me only want to live to alter reality.

Quote:
No medication, no drug, nothing but you will CURE your ailments (pysical or mental), many may disagree with that but IMHO its true, medications are helpfull along the road but you need to learn to stand on your own two feet.




I agree with you. All these drug's I've tried where nothing but a crutch. The only reason I like weed is that it does seem to help me along with my problems, with minimal side effects. And again thats the problem i don't know how to stand on my own two feet, i dont know how to function, i don't know how to take care of myself. I can't cook, clean, shop, work, basically do anything a person is suppposed to do for himself. And I don't know how I can learn to do it, or learn how to get out of this house without having a panic attack 3 feet through the door if I'm not intoxicated in some way.

Quote:
I would hold off on the hallucinogens, it doesnt sound to me like your ready to "go there" yet. From your post it doesn't sound like your in a positive enough mindset, more like your looking for more options to pry you out of this rut,



Well you're right, I don't have a positive mindset, but in the same talk I don't have a negative mindset either. I'm dead center, totally numb, don't care if I wake up tomorrow, don't care if I have no friends or whatever, that I have no education and will probably be a bum. Nothing makes me happy or positive unless I get drugs, and nothing pushes me over into depression unless I run out of those drugs I have.

My emotional scale would be Indifferent to happy when i have drugs, to happy and cheery and interested in life while high, to very depressed when I run out of drugs to back to indifferent after a few days knowing I won't have drugs for awhile. Like I said before I don't really live life, i just exist, take up space.

Me wanting to try LSD is not just for that "Fucked up feeling" or to "alter reality", that is part of it but I have read alot of where it was used in theraputic situations with therapists to totally change the world for people. And I have Valium just incase I do freak out which I hope I don't. But again since i never go out and have no money i doubt me taking lsd or shrooms will be a decision i'll be making any time soon.




nothing is impossible, just dont get high all day, STAY FIT! thats a big one i forgot to mention (nothing like a natural high), and look toward your future not toward you imperfections.



I don't get high all day, its very rare that I actually do have the pot, which is why its such a problem, if i had a constant supply maybe I could become a "normal" person. ITs wierd that the only time I actually feel normal is when I'm high. When I'm sober I feel like shit, nautious all the time, headaches, lightheadedness, difficulty concentrating, tingling in extremedies, no real appetite, insomnia, ,anxiety and depression and all that other shit, when I smoke it all goes away, i feel like a normal person. I really feel if I had a good amount I could work with it to finally fix me...


--------------------
"Are you suicidal?"
"Only in the morning."
---------------------------------------
"I only lied about being a thief."

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1513804 -

I don't know if it will help or not but read this thread I started a while back about dealing with panic.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: enotake2]
    #1517374 -

You said you tried alot of kinds of prescriptions like anti-depressants and other things and that none of them helped hardly at all

I somewhat doubt that..., how long did you try all these different prescriptions?

I take anti depressants and stuff and it didn't hardly do anything for me until after about a year or two.., i think it may take a while for you and your mind to get used to the change and i doubt that you really can feel its full effect or potential and learn how to notice it and use it until you are completely used to it

SWAY


--------------------
?People keep searching for happines in the outside, what they don't know is that it's in the inside?
?In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, must exist? Bear
?To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing? Eva Young

Edited by SWAY (05/03/03 10:43 AM)

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1517620 -

What happens in your therapy sessions?


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: enotake2]
    #1517639 -

This boy needs religion, nature (maybe a low-dose shroom hike?) and a blunt. I also recommend exercising, as it will raise self-esteem and you will actually feel different the healthier you get. Its pretty cool. I don't understand the fear of being outside, like other people? or the vast open-ness of space? If its people, fuck what other people think. Shrooms help me feel connected to the Earth and nature, and being outside is quite an experience. But I don't know how it could aggrivate your "mental disorders." (Its all in your mind man, you just need to take control. If there is something that is holding you back from going outside, fight it as hard as you can. After all, its in you thats holding you back, so you can stop it). Religion will also help with accepting reality and not worrying about judgement from fellow people.


--------------------
AH HA....

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: DrubuShrume]
    #1517645 -

Oh, and working with weed won't really fix you, only make you dependant on weed. If you have to use weed to solve problems, then the weed can become the problem. Just don't get caught up in being in a constant state of stonededness (my new word). Although it does alter your reality, and from the sounds of it, your reality is shitty. But your reality is what you make it. Now I'm gonna smoke a bong and make it high. You should do the same.


--------------------
AH HA....

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: DrubuShrume]
    #1517723 -

thanks all for the replys. To answer the question about my disorder, i do have social anxiety to where i can't talk to other people, i stutter stay stupid things, sweat and just all around anxious. About leaving the house its that I don't feel safe anywhere but Home i think. Whenever i step outside, if im not high, i get very very anxious and panic. It has nothign to do with what people think of me, but due to a scarred childhood and growing up. About the therapy question since i dont really talk or open up to anyone in person, therapy hasn't helped me ever, and i don't have high hopes for it now. And about the prescriptions I've done serious studies on it and found out that SSRI's not only do not help the majority, but make problems for most people who take them(including addiction, and more side effects in one pill then all illigal drugs combined), i was on prozac for a year, then after a suicide attempt switched to paxil for 3 years, i was zombified, switched doctor's who over the next year or two tried me with most SSRI's out there, myself getting sicker and sicker pysically and mentally.Btw I was extremly addicted to paxil, and when I stopped taking it on my own because I didn't think it helped me I almost died, , and then decided to taper off(it took me 7 months to get paxil free) please note i didn't do any of this research untnil i had the cold turkey experience, so the side effects i had, or the withdrawl symptoms couldn't have been hypocondria, since I honestly didn't know abotu them till i have experienced them. As i am now i am greatly against prescription anti depressants, and most man made drugs. I like to keep it natural now.


--------------------
"Are you suicidal?"
"Only in the morning."
---------------------------------------
"I only lied about being a thief."

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1518085 -

i wouldn't smoke the grass if you're only doing it to forget about your problems. in my experience, whenever either me or my friends have smoked to try to escape, our current problem seems to be the only thing any of us can think about. try going sober for like a month or two. i did it and worked a lot of my problems out. but what do i know? different people call for different diagnoses.

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1521213 -

Regarding the therapy, if you are doing talking based therapies, that is, if all you do in therapy is talk about your situation, your childhood etc, then you may not be getting the best treatment. There are very effective treatments for anxiety and depression, however talking therapies are not the most efficacious unless the anxiety and depression are linked to a trauma. You might do well to change therapists - clinical psychologists are usually more clued in to the latest in pragmatic treatments and if you ring around to ascertain the specialisation of different therapists (thanks Markos) then you may get someone more able to help you. Given how treatable anxiety and depression are with the right kind of treatment (studies show it to be as good as the 'right' medication), I don't think you should be going to therapy week after week and seeing no changes.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: enotake2]
    #1521268 -

the depression and anxiety are linked to a trauma...


--------------------
"Are you suicidal?"
"Only in the morning."
---------------------------------------
"I only lied about being a thief."

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1521484 -

Oh righto.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1521510 -

Try not to rely on weed to overcome anxiety. It might help you momentarily, but you will become dependant on it as a reliever and become more incapable of surviving these stressful situations without it. Also, on the long term (as you mentioned) cannabis causes anxiety and paranoia. Try to work through the situations that cause you to panic step by step. Maybe just look out of the window until you feel comfortable about going out. Then go, say, for a walk around the block. If you start to panic, go back in (don't force yourself to stay out or anything). If you can get a prescription for panic relievers, have some in your pocket all the time. In the case of panic disorder, often just knowing that you have the medicine at hand can help, you might even not have to take them. You can't cure yourself with weed, only help yourself momentarily -with the cost of becoming dependant on it to relieve you. Basically the same goes with all medication. The only way to get cured is through (controlled) exposure to the stressful situation. Bit by bit.

>And about the prescriptions I've done serious studies on it and found out that SSRI's not only do not help the majority, but >make problems for most people who >take them(including addiction, and more side effects in one pill then all illigal drugs >combined)

this is true, SSRI's don't help everybody. However, there are other, newer antidepressants (called the next generation antidepressants), and I think you might really benefit from a good medication, as you sound very depressed. The problem is, of course that it can take very long to find the right kind of medication for you, as you'd have to try every one for several months (probably just what you had done previously with your doctor).

And, SSRI's having so many listed side effects has more to do with more research being focused on them than on illegal drugs. Illegal drugs probably have many side effects that have not been noticed. And also, if you decide to stop a medication on your own, always do it by gradually lowering the dose for a period of at least two weeks, DON'T stop it at once!

By the way, SSRI's are chemically very similar to LSD and psilocybin. In fact the earlier antidepressants actually caused hallucinations...those used today have been modified so they don't. So if SSRI's cause you discomfort, really take care if you're going to try mushrooms or LSD (which I wouldn't recommend at this point anyway).


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"All substances are poisons; there is none which is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison and a remedy." -Paracelsius

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: ummikko]
    #1524446 -

well iv decided to try and do it without drugs(legal or illigal) i think im actually clicking with this therapist, who's lending me a book on meditation, im also getting the books called "convorsations with god" in hopes of getting some sort of spirituality, and will be recording all myy dreams in hopes of working within my dreams and eventually going lucid, hopefully the combination of all these things will help me, and my goal now is th ebe able to say i use drugs to enhance not to escape, thanks everyone for the advice and help :smile: i woke up today and after a very detalied recording of 3 drewams i had last night(usually i can barley remember one part of one dream i had) i am filled with a sense of hope for the first time ever.


--------------------
"Are you suicidal?"
"Only in the morning."
---------------------------------------
"I only lied about being a thief."

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1524652 -

thats good, but there will be ups and downs, im going through the same thing basicaly, dont let emotions take hold of you...

Fight it to the end, you get back what you give, dont completely rely on anything other than yourself and own mind, anxiety and my thoughts drive me crazy, but im going to fight it to the end, i hope you will too, this is a hard fight.. maybe one of the hardest of fights.. but im determined to win whether it takes me forever or i need to take this to a torturing level, but be in it for the long run and recognize your progress and keep going, i support you a ton, dont give up hope

SWAY


--------------------
?People keep searching for happines in the outside, what they don't know is that it's in the inside?
?In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, must exist? Bear
?To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing? Eva Young

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Re: Pot for anxiety? [Re: Lyte it Up 420]
    #1524941 -

I have many of the same problems, friend. If you ever need someone to just shoot the shit with, gimme a PM - we can talk on AIM or in PM's or whatnot. I know how you feel. I have had stomach problems since I was like 10 years old, I constantly feel nauseous, and have a lot of problems with my stomach. I too smoke pot, I smoke it to sleep, and to eat... that's about it.. occasionally i'll get a bit faded with my friends and laugh about stupid bullshit. I'm also 20.

A few things that i've noticed cause more issues... drinking - makes me feel good whiel i'm drinking, but wreaks havoc on my stomach for about 2 days afterwards. Also binging... A lot of the time, in order to avoid nausea - I will avoid eating before I go out (which happens to be a lot of the day, that I need to go out). So.. then it causes acidity in my stomach, and by the time i eat, i'm a. unable to eat very much because my stomach has shrunk, and b. the acidity causes it's own problems.

That's just some stuff... I too have been on a lot of medications starting with paxil for 2 years, then to effexor for a few months, then celexa, then zoloft, and last but not least prozac. None of them helped, paxil did for a while, but then it stopped working, and when it did, i was crazier than before... now i have a prescription for xanax, and ativan, which i hardly take either of, unless i'm having a panic attack.

Smoking weed is a daily thing, but i'm not sure if it helps or hurts... in the long run. I like it, but sometimes I think I rely too much on it. It's the foundation of my appetite (in order to eat 3 meals a day, which in turn keeps me feeling a bit better). So you need to look at the same, and try and decide if it's benifiting you.. or if you're reliant upon it.

Also, the thing that has helped me the MOST of anything... is a regular schedule.. Judging by your current scenario, I am willing to bet you stay up a lot (all night mostly), and go to bed whenever you get tired... and sleep until you wake up? am I right? If so, that's EXACTLY how I was at the height of my problems. And the thing that helped me the MOST was waking up every day at the same time. (8-9 am), even if i had nothing to do.. get up.. shower.. and smoke a bowl.. once i smoked the munchies would kick in and once I ate.. i was up for the day. Then I'd go to bed (regardless of what my friends were doing) at like 11pm-1am - after a month or so of this... it became my normal schedule, and I started feeling alot better.

I don't know if all this banter helps or anything, but I can relate at least a bit. And as of now, i'm completely functional... I eat 3 meals a day, carry on a relationship, am starting a company, work fulltime, am finishing my BA.. etc.. Those things might seem normal to anyone else.. but from someone who struggles with panic attacks, they seem like a lifetime away. I'm proud of myself and what i've done, and i'm quite confident that with some more support, you can do the same, there's no reason to have to live like that. As much as it seems like nothing can help, there really are small changes, that start to make a difference.


--------------------
Raadt

-- The information I provide is only information from readings, growing of gourmet mushrooms, and second hand stories--

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