Ascend48 said: Brain Food I find your words to be incredibly insightful. I find truth in most of what you say and commend you for stimulating my mind and inspiring me to seek more knowledge. However, I must say that your eloquently presented theory is overshadowed by the way you contradict it through your actions. Although you say you've had several experiences with ego-death, this is not evident in the way you egotistically dismiss anyone who has an opposing view. Attacking an idea is one thing, but on several occasions you've attempted to discredit others by bringing their intelligence into question. I find this quite ironic after reading this particular excerpt from your post.
I understand that my behavior is contradictory; I am not claiming to be the exemplar of morality. However, my theory does support the inherent duality of the All, of which I obviously harbor good and evil; we all do. Should I have been more "polite"? Absolutely; however, I have managed to learn quite a bit about myself and others through this very thread, so I don't regret anything about it. It's only an internet forum; that's how I view it; nothing to take too seriously.
Most of my posting is done from work. 
So it should be of no surprise if it is evident that I am humorously (at least to me) blowing off some steam.
I have been absolutely dismissive where I have been absolutely dismissed and I have baited people in attempting to have someone truly challenge me. I enjoy the challenge; its the entire point of this thread, because it obliges me to write out my thoughts concerning my beliefs.
"I disagree.
The answer to death, and subsequently life, is love.
To love is to transcend unconsciousness, of which death is the ultimate metaphor. To love your life, which is the universe, and to want it eternally; that is the "answer". Acceptance and love, instead of denial and unconsciousness.
Because, once again, love is the realization of the interconnectedness of the universe and it is the sole purpose of self-reflection."
You preach acceptance and love but have spent several pages in a meaningless argument with someone who, (going by your theory) is undeniably and inextricably connected to you. You are in essence him questioning your own theory. Rather than attempt to tear him down and launch personal attacks on him, why not be an exemplary figure for your philosophy on the right way to live life? Why not practice acceptance and respect his ideas? Why not love him regardless of what they are? What is gained by demeaning him with a condescending attitude? It seems to me, like your ego is mortified by the prospect of being wrong and any opposition must be dismissed at any cost. Don't get me wrong, like I said I very much value your contributions and will continue to read your work. I'm just saying what good does it do you if you're right but fail to integrate these ideals into your life?
First and foremost; thanks. 
I have integrated my beliefs as much as possible in my life and I am a generally happy person as a result.
If I am letting out a little steam and having a little fun on an internet forum, that doesn't make me immoral. And it certainly doesn't discredit how far I have come in my life or "my" theory for that matter. It merely means that I have a little more work to do in other areas, such as internet debating. 
I have been using the forum as a vice to let out pressure, as we all use vices.
This thread has been largely a catharsis for me; I have been able to defend my beliefs and in doing so, I have amassed quite a bit of writing that I hope to use in the future. I apologize if I genuinely offended anyone, as it wasn't my intention and I didn't think it was actually possible. My naivete.
I know that I am flawed and I know that I come off as a dick; just look at my title.
I am not "preaching" to anyone, but myself.
I am acutely aware of this.
As for arguing with myself; I find it very useful for generating ideas and writing.  
I do not make the presumption that I truly know the “right” way to live life, because there is no “right” way to live life. My theory essentially states that everything is inevitable; it is up to our ability to reflect upon our actions and the events that befall us so that we may subsequently (hopefully) liberate ourselves from the very bondage of our instincts which unconsciously drive our behavior. It is obvious by this very thread that I am still working on my unconscious motivations.
I find it difficult to merely concede and “respect” another person’s ideas when they disrespect my own, but I am working on it.
There is knowledge to be gained from all discourse; all experience; to say that it is pointless to do anything is pointless.
I am entirely aware that a portion of my Self is still very much under the control of my unconscious.
It is through my writing, my experiences, and these very threads that I am seeking to integrate my shadow.
My shadow has cast a large darkness upon this thread and I am learning quite a bit from it.
Essentially, this entire thread is a psychic confession and obviously, my psyche is still in the act of integrating itself.
However, in my life, I have found love and acceptance; hopefully this light I have found will eventually annihilate my reciprocated darkness.
To explain myself better:
I have managed to integrate my philosophy into my life quite a bit; I have found love and I have come to accept my “fate” and past. Trust me, I have come a long way from where I have been and I like to think that where I am now is a much better headspace. Just because I may come off as a Pedantic Dick on a forum doesn’t mean that I am a jackass in real life; that is why I have been incessantly trying to explain that I am merely fucking around on this forum. No one should take any of this seriously, including my theory, because it is merely a subjective truth. I mean, seriously, how many of you would consider your posting to be relative to your actual personality?
I am confronting my unconscious, my shadow, which has reared its head in this thread and other circumstances where my beliefs are put into question.
In all, I thank everyone for their replies and helping me toward Gnosis.
I accept my duality. I am capable of good (my theory, my love, and life) and "evil" (my inherent flaw of instinctual behavior).
I hope this clears some things up.
Peace.
-------------------- "When you get the message, hang up the phone." - Alan Watts
We Die to Remember What We Live to Forget
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